[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 1 September 1999]

[This was written with the aid of Alanna Sedai, al'Thor, The Amyrlin Seat, Autumnflame, Ben-T Gaidin, Blademaster, Lanfear, Lanfir, Mordeth, Selinthia Avenchesca, Serafelle Sedai]

Gaidar means, in the Old Tongue, Sisters of Battle. The term results from the Aes Sedai's name to warders - Gaidin, Brothers of Battle. The firsts who began to use that title were the Aes Sedai who were sent by Elaida's order to the Black Tower, to destroy it, and were bonded instead, the only option the Asha'man had, considering the Dragon Reborn's orders, forbidding the Asha'man to harm Aes Sedai.

A saying among the warders in the Black Tower says: "When a man names his warder Gaidar, it's time to walk around lightly." The Asha'man despise the very word with passion that is bested only by their loathing to the need to put their warders in a danger of any kind. From an Asha'man's lips, that title is a curse.

The biggest gap between the White Tower and the Black Tower is that in the White Tower the bond can be platonic. That the bond in the Black Tower was planned to be of any use only between husbands and wives had cause more troubles to the Asha'man than anything else could have ever made.

Especially after The Days of the Black Guardians, when the Gaidar decided that it mustn't be allowed to the Asha'man to escape bonding them without proper punishment. The actions taken those days mustn't disappear from the pages of history. To take, for example, Rhodri's and Memara's story...

The History of the Black Tower, volume I
By Elmindreda al'Thor
The Court of the Sun
The Forth Age

Dyelin, high seat of house Taravin, stood on the highest tower in the Lion Palace, her eyes were directed to the north. She wore a thick fur coat over thick woolen dress, silk or velvet were no help in this cold, the coat reached below her knees, yet she still shivered, in midnight the air was almost as cold as ice. The skies, for a change, were clear. Dyelin stared north, watching, waiting, fearing. Watch for the Black Tower, Dyelin, the Queen Elayne ordered, there might be... troubles heading toward us from this direction, and soon.

And so she watched, she came here every night, in the last four days, since the child, she had seen born, was gone with the Dragon Reborn not a day after she was crowned. She came to watch, there was nothing more she could do, but she watched still. Elayne didn't explain herself, but no explainations were needed. The new Queen of Andor feared the Asha'man going mad, and soon. The reason was unknown to Dyelin, but she believed, no one could know better than Elayne.

It was hard to decide if the woman truly loved the Dragon Reborn or simply sacrificed her own happiness for Andor. Whatever the reason for Elayne had for actions, Dyelin couldn't afford herself to ignore the warning.

Then, she noticed... something, a movement that caught her eye, but she saw nothing. She squinted hard, trying to figure out what caught her attention.

The skies burned! And night became day! Not daring blinking, although her eyes ached from the sudden burst of light, it was like watching a fireworks display, if someone could afford buying every last firework in the world.

Trails of fire in every color possible lighten the night, and lightning stroked down from clear, cold black sky.

Dyelin hugged herself, and suddenly the cold became harder, sharper. She tasted old fear and a new one; the Asha'man had gone mad, she couldn't let herself doubt it, couldn't let herself hope. Maybe all the Asha'man had gone mad at the same time.

And, for Caemlyn, for Andor, and maybe for the entire world, all hope was lost.

Mierin hadn't left his side since the moment he opened his eyes. Narishma found it soothing, he couldn't make himself forget those visions. They touched his worst fears, fears he had hidden even from himself, until the Dark One forced them to face the worst their mind could create.

The other had felt the same; he saw too many hollowed stares. Mierin insisted on holding his hand in hers whenever it was possible, and even when it wasn't. The only reason they were still here, in a hall about a mile away from the room where they all cleansed saidin was that they needed the others' presence, even without talking, it was comforting to know that the others were here, that there was some protection against those nightmares.

He couldn't touch saidin if his life depended on it, or even Mierin's. And the others looked just as he felt, cloths damped with sweat, some with blood. Narishma felt no open wounds in Mierin, only a mass of small bruises.

They would have to heal on their own. The same as his bruises and cuts, not a single man or a woman in the room seemed capable of even feeling the source. The only reason none of them collapsed until now was fear, turning their stomach slowly. Fear that in their sleep the nightmares would return. Despite his tiredness Narishma was ready to give up sleep entirely.

He took another deep sip from the cup he was holding, it looked, and tasted like mud mixed with water. An Aiel drink called ousqui, that was the reason why this room was where they gathered. A big barrel of ousqui stood in the corner, and half of it was empty already. Narishma looked at the room, it was one of the two or three dozens great halls the Lord Dragon created when they used the One Power, in one of the few times both side of the Power were used since the Breaking of the World, to bore those caves inside the Dragonmount. The rock pattern was the only way to define between the rooms; this hall was just like the rest of the countless rooms that were created, only far bigger, capable of containing hundreds or thousands of people easily. This hall, however, had no windows, like most of the rooms they have created, and unlike all the other halls. Narishma preferred it that way, those windows were nothing but holes in the rock, and the halls were cold enough to freeze a man's blood, now. This place was still undone, and it would require time and effort to smooth the rough edges of this place. Staring down, he traced with his eyes the black and white rocky stone floor.

The hall gave the feeling of being empty despite being populated by Aes Sedai, Asha'man, the Dragon Reborn and two of the Forsakens who betrayed the Dark One. All gathered inside a hollow mountain that could contain the entire population of Arafel. They all drunk silently, the strongest drink that they could find here, in the Dragonmount, few miles only from the White Tower. Drinking in order to forget. Saidin is clean! Yet the only thought that flashed in his mind was fear from sleep, fear from the memories.

What would I have felt without Mierin? He wondered for a moment, he doubted if there was anything that could send so much fear into him as much as losing Mierin.

He sat down tiredly near one of the walls. He could only barely feel saidin, touching the power was impossible. And his and Mierin's rooms were more than three miles from here, that is, if he could even find his way in this mass of corridors. Mierin, of course, seated herself next to him, still refusing to let go of him. He was more than grateful that she did it by her own. He needed to know that he was alive, needed to know that she was alive. And the bond simply wasn't enough. Not to mention the comfort he drew simply by touching her.

He blinked, that was all; he certainly had no intention of sleeping. Not any time soon, despite his tiredness. Yet cleaning saidin seemed an easier task than simply opening his eyes. He blinked, and hours passed between the moment he closed his eyes and opened them.

He had an arm wrapped around the sleeping Mierin, he didn't remember putting it there; she must have been the one who put his arm there. He stared at her for a moment, trying to push down emotions he never felt before and never wished to feel. I love her, he thought, wondering. The bond was responsible to this, responsible to tie his emotions to this woman that so far gave him nothing but trouble and bitterness and anger. She wore black and silver, she made no comment when she changed her clothings, but he knew it was him who was responsible for this. Silver hair hanging down, covering his shoulder, as easily as long as his own hair. And he loved her! He wanted to wake her up and tell her this. Whatever the reason for this emotion, it was as real as any he had ever felt.

And only then he remembered.

He felt the tearing inside him; it was a pain stronger than any he could imagine.

And, in the back of his head, Mierin... extinguished. There was no blood in their room when he reached it, panting, and only a short message explaining that she'd gained her freedom, and needed nothing more. A message thanking him for freeing her from her obsession to Lews Therin! It had taken three men to stop him, and had anyone been in the depths of the Dragonmount, thousands would have died in his wrath.

Mierin had returned to be Lanfear, and if she was free from her obsession, he was captive in one of his own. In the space of few days, so short, he gained and lost more than he deserved, more than he could ever have. And nothing save saidin was left for him.

He gained his strength rapidly, reaching his limit faster than he should have; he danced with death more times than he could remember, could care.

But somehow, he always escaped, unharmed. And then she appeared, hair molten silver and eyes deep blue, leading an army big enough to wipe humanity. Men died in an all but endless battle, and he found himself leading small bandits of men twice his age, skimming around the shadow army, led by the woman he loved.

He became dangerous, to himself, to others, he knew he was more than half mad, but couldn't make himself care. Mierin, Lanfear, hunted his dreams, despite the strongest shields he wove. Shielding didn't help when it was your own mind that guided the dreams. The battles continued, and they never seemed to win, the shadow army was half its original size when the last seal broke. And the time of the Last Battle arrived.

Rand had to be in the Pit of Doom, and he was appointed as the leader of the army, a bitter, angry, man that never slept enough. "She might hesitate for just long enough for you to strike, Narishma." He was told, "You can't allow yourself to fail."

And he met her on the battlefield; he was strong, very strong. Not much below Rand al'Thor himself. As the two armies clashed against each other all his eyes could see was a black and silver figure, in the middle of the army of his enemies, an army twice the size of his own. Led by the woman he loved. And they won; yet the price was Mierin's life, she did hesitate, for the shortest instance, upon killing him, and he killed her despite the dock of tears that hindered his sight.

They won that battle; the shadow army broke after their leader's death. And the Last Battle was also won, but he never slept more than a full hour again. Could never close his eyes without seeing her in the moment of dying. Until the end, both of them believed he couldn't, wouldn't, do it. Yet he did, and he could never forgive himself for this.

Narishma shied away, too afraid to touch her, too afraid of might happen. What he was so afraid of, loving her? He found no use in trying to hide his emotions from himself, a side affect of the bond, or maybe it was the other way around. He neither knew nor cared. His hands closed to fists. And he rose carefully from the floor, cautious not to wake Mierin.

He shivered, frightened, the nightmares chased him into the sleep, drinking helped not a bit. Strangely, his head didn't hurt; he heard that this was how it was supposed to feel after getting drunk.

"You'll," A woman's voice said, making him jump, Elayne's warder smiled at him for a moment before frowning at her Aes Sedai. Leaning on Rand al'Thor, together with Aviendha. There were signs of fear there too, and even in the Lord Dragon's face. What can frighten the Dragon Reborn? He wondered, and then he thought better, deciding that he had no wish to know.

They were all sleeping, he was the first to wake, and moans broke the silence all too often. "You all will, but why?" He heard steel in her voice, "What happened, you all began to scream, I hadn't seen such thing since..." She cut off sharply, as if she was about to say something she shouldn't.

"Fear," He answer, failing to clear his voice from emotions, "We were protected from the Dark One, or so we thought, but he... spoke to us, searched within our mind, our souls, to discover the worst fears and show them to us."

She muttered a word in the Old Tongue, not a word he knew, he reminded himself to ask Mierin what the meaning was, it sound very much like a curse, reserved for special occasion only.

He was glancing at Mierin again. He had to make sure she was still here. He shivered, visibly; the memory of the dream hadn't left him. "You've nothing to worry about," Min said, giving him a start, he hadn't seen her, standing motionlessly near one of the walls. "She is still there." He stared at her sharply.

"Have you seen something, Min?" He needed to know it for sure. The dream, the nightmare, would never let him sleep again if he wouldn't know, one way or another. And Min's talent was... a solution.

"Nothing you will find..." She paused for a heartbeat before continuing, and the smallest smile possible shown on her lips, "worthy of knowing, Narishma." Yes, she was certainly grinning at herself, whatever it was that amused her so much, Narishma didn't like it. "One warning, though, Jahar Narishma." Min added; he stared at her, keeping his eyes on her face, ever since the betrayer Dashiva almost lost a hand looking at her, Narishma kept his eyes to himself. No matter that the Dragon's lover - warder, wife - dressed in cloths that fit her like a second skin. It was only wise, after all, he had enough trouble with al'Thor already, the man was more jealous than a Saldean woman! Which took something!

"Yes?" He inquired.

"Never let yourself be alone with a woman, Narishma." Her smile widen, from the edge of his eye he could see Birgitte - what mother would give her daughter such a name? Yet, the woman certainly seemed to be trying to be worthy of the name - beginning to smile too. "You wouldn't like it, she is very jealous woman." He snorted as he bent to heave Mierin in his arms and walked to the door, he didn't know this room well enough to open a gateway for Traveling. "She shouldn't be sleeping on the floor." That was all the explanation he suggested. She said nothing he didn't know already.

"Enjoy yourself," Min muttered, his back was turned to her, but he could hear the grin in her voice.

"Both of you," Birgitte added, amusingly. And Min began to laugh.

Women!

Darian's first thought was that he must be mistaken; the second was that he had gone mad. Saidin poured into him, sweet as life, as corrupted as death. The silver pin shaped as a sword lying in his hand, the very first of those who came from the Two Rivers to be a Dedicated. But he couldn't ignore this feeling, saidin became... slippery, hard to hold, and the taint wasn't as vile as he had almost gotten used to.

"Shadow consume my soul!" The M'Hael whispered slowly, he felt it too! Slowly the M'Hael sat down on a comfortable chair. At the M'Hael's study, where he had been called to be raised to Dedicated. Everything gave the sense of heavy grace. Unlike almost everything in the Black Tower, the room wasn't full with mismatch of furnishing taken from the Light alone knows where. And the chairs and table were made of fine, dark carved wood.

"What is it, M'Hael?" Darian asked, too afraid to hope.

The question brought the M'Hael's attention to him, "Get out," The man hissed, eyes flaring with anger. "Get out!" That was the first time anyone saw the M'Hael losing control the slightest. Darian was more than happy to obey, by the man's face; he was ready to kill him! "The fool had done it," He heard the M'Hael growling behind him, and then the sound of the sound of glass breaking. "That goat faced horse kisser has done it! Burn him!" Closing the door behind him, Darian all but ran out of the small wooden building. Just as he heard something heavy, maybe the big dark table, being smashed against a wall, and the entire wooden building trembled.

Outside, not one man moved, all seemed frozen, even the newest soldiers, all felt the same, he was not mad. "Light," He heard someone saying, and caught Balir's face, the young man held a sword in his hand, but he didn't seem aware of it. "It's fading! The taint it fading!"

He saw hope on more than one face, and expectation and longings. But on some faces, mostly Asha'man and Dedicated, he saw the unmistakable expression he saw on the M'Hael's face. Disbelief mixed with horror.

And now I can finally die, Lews Therin said, his voice full of longing, as soon as Rand let go of saidin,a heartbeat only after he finished reweaving the shield over the sa'angreals and the last two seals. Now I can truly die. My deeds erased, my debt is paid, Rand al'Thor. It was the very first time Lews Therin had named him. You'll do well, I believe. And may the Light have its mercy upon you. Goodbye, Rand al'Thor, goodbye forever. Maybe we will meet again, in another lifetime, or in death. I will be there, at the end. He fell quiet for a moment, and the whisper came, Ilyena, always and forever my heart. May the Light forgive me, but I've not forgotten, nor forgiven myself. Your soul shall lay in the mercy of the Light, Ilyena Therin Dalisar, and peace guard your dreams in the eternal sleep of the dead. It had the sound of a formal greeting, and so much pain that it tore something inside his heart.

And then the man was gone, Rand could feel him disappearing, fading, and he stood, panting, trying to fight down the enormous weave of memories that was spawned into his head.

His mother fixing his collar when he went to study, to be an Aes Sedai, with him claiming that he had no need of such services anymore. He remembered how she laughed at him and did it anyway, saying that he would never be too old for her.

The face of the first girl he had kissed, and then Mierin, he had so many memories of her... so many that he loathed and loved. And Ilyena, always Ilyena, her smiles, and the way she moved, her laugh and how the light reflected in her eyes every time she kissed him.

And saidin, that was always there, pure and strong and deadly. Thousands of friends, enemies that he counted in millions, endless duties, and responsibility he never asked nor wanted. I'm the First of Servants, the Lord of Morning, the Prince of Dawn, the Dragon, and every title is like a huge mountain on my shoulder. I always try to swim to the surface, always being dragged back by those duties, and I'm only strong enough for quick breaths, only enough to survive. Never enough to truly live. He remembered the time he said as much to Ilyena, remembered her reply so clearly it brought tear into his eyes. He remembered all the books he had wrote, friends that became enemies. Enemies that became friends, schemes in dimensions no Aes Sedai who was born in this age or even Cairhienins skilled in Daes Daimar could even begin to understand.

The intrigues inside the Hall of Servant, and the nightmare of ruling the entire world with that constant fear he would fail, sooner or later. All the details, all the responsibility, that endless fear the first time Ilyena gave birth, a daughter, so like her mother that he fell in love in the little baby instantly.

He remembered killing her in his madness, killing every last one of the beautiful children he and Ilyena created together.

So many memories, half a millennia of memories, a man that had seen everything, done everything one could imagine, and much one couldn't. Too many memories to hold, they lied clustered in his mind, sometimes popping up for he reason he did not know. Hope and fear, love and hate. Old friends and new enemies, battles and passion, love and hate. The closest that he could ever reach to another human being, one that wasn't that much different from the way he himself was, or would be. He could see Lews Therin in himself, and himself in Lews Therin, and no line bordered them this time. And finally, three thousands years after he'd killed himself, Lews Therin could die, and rest.

Those were the memories Rand woke with, and the pain in his side, and a nightmare where he had lost everyone he had ever loved, again. And again, and again! Endless circle he could break only by swearing himself to the dark, so he kill them again and again, and the pain nearly killed him each time.

"Light!" He breathed, "Oh, Light!" He almost reached for saidin, almost, but even after the sleep, he was exhausted. And he didn't want the void holding off his emotions, not now. He pushed Elayne gently aside, she leaned against him, and there were signs of tears on her face. Crying in her sleep, no doubt, he felt like crying himself, but he doubted if he could cry. She didn't wake up when he rose; he leaned her against the wall and stepped back, nearly tripping on Aviendha.

He needed to clear his head, to rest, he grinned despite himself; he came to this place, to his grave, the place where he was born, because even he could acknowledge Min's claims that he was working himself too hard. Did Elayne thought he had no ears, when she walked around and mumbled about what the Great, all-knowing Lord Dragon, as Elayne put it, consider as vacation.

"Rand!" Min hurried to him, "I was beginning to fear that you'll sleep all day long." He closed his hands around her, hugging her hard. Birgitte smiled at him above Min's head, and turned her back to him. He glared at her; there was no need to be... discreet. Not when you were so obvious doing it.

He examined her face, she must have slept too, all signs of tiredness were gone from her face, he shouldn't have depended on her strength, but he had no choice. He shouldn't have done so many things. It was no time to regret abandoning his plan half way carrying it out. He had no choice there either. But the risk was horrifying, he didn't had time to consider them at the time, he and Lews Therin had became almost one for that time, no thought existing, only the power existed, and they struggled to push the taint back into it's source. Had he had time for consideration, not even he would have dared such a plan, but he hadn't. And so he ripped open yet another bore into the Dark One's prison, and sent the caged taint into the Dark One's prison. Pushing it through the hole he created. He tore apart the prison he created for the taint inside the Dark One's prison, with his flows sending back to him a sense of filth viler than the taint. He tore the prison the taint was caged in, and used the piece he shredded to seal the Dark One's prison up again. The Dark One's prison was whole again, he tried to strengthen the prison, make it harder. So it could endure the Dark One's pressure on it, he failed. He truly hoped that his actions didn't drastically weaken the Dark One's prison, but he had no such illusions. "How long I've slept?" He asked Min.

"About five or six hours, I think," She answered as he traced the line of a long, shallow cut on her cheek with one finger and looked at her in anguish. The seal that had exploded was broken to small pieces; the largest piece was the size of a human's pupil, if that; and the explosion launched those pieces like arrows from a strong bow. It was only a bit more than an inch from her left eye. "If you dare blaming yourself for this scratch too, Rand al'Thor," Min whispered to him, full of anger and frustration, "I think that I'll put a dagger in you." A knife appeared in her hand, the one who wasn't hugging him hard. "I'll not have you being so arrogant anymore."

He gaped at her, "Arrogant? I feel guilty because my actions have harmed you!"

"What else can it be," She told him seriously, "You'll never harm me, and I know it as well as you do! Do you think you can control the Wheel of Time? Do you think that you, all by yourself, weave the pattern?" She tapped on his chest with the dagger's hilt, none too gently.

"Of course not, Min. I don't see how - " He began to protest, but she was only pausing to take a breath.

"You don't? Really? Then why under the Light you blame yourself whenever something goes wrong! You're only human, Dragon Reborn or no Dragon Reborn. You can't do anything by yourself, and I thought you're smart enough to understand it by yourself! How much pride do you have, Rand al'Thor, to think that this is your fault." She tapped on his chest again, harder. And touched the cut on her face for a moment. She took a step back, shaking with anger, glaring at him. "I'd just about enough of this!" His mouth worked wordlessly, his eyes open wide. He had never seen her like this; he could accept it from Aviendha, that was something she would say, but not Min!

The sound of hands being clapped gave both of them a start, they forgot completely that any one was in the room save them. Scanning the room, he noticed that there was no one awake beside him, Min, and Birgitte, who clapped her hands. "It was about time someonewould put you in your place," She stop for a heartbeat, no doubt meaning to continue, he glared at her, as hard as he could, and she thought better, she still smiled, though.

He looked at both women for a moment and signed, "Maybe you're right, Min. Maybe! But I can't change who I am." He raked a hand through his hair in confusion.

"No, I don't think you can." Birgitte agreed, "You are different from Lews Therin, Rand al'Thor. And at the same time, you're very much the same." He shook his head in denial, he didn't want to think about it, not now, when memories of a life he didn't live rose by everything he saw or heard or felt or smelled.

"Rand," Min said suddenly, worried, and he realized that he was standing, staring at the air, fumbling for memories. They laid there in disorder, memories were... cut in half, connected in ways he didn't understood. Why remembering Mierin was connected to remembering a man's face, tall and dark with angry eyes, he never seemed to think about the woman without seeing that man in his mind, but he couldn't remember who he was.

He stared at the two women; the only two other people awake in the room save him. He could trust them, completely. He knew it as well as he knew his duty, he wasn't sure anymore in his name. "I've... holes in my memories, not my own, memories I've acquired from Lews Therin. Strange gaps, in memories that are not my own."

"Acquired from Lews Therin?" Birgitte asked sharply, "How under the Light could you acquire anything from Lews Therin. He is dead!"

"Didn't Elayne told you?" He asked, surprised, he doubted if Elayne hid anything from Birgitte. In a few sentences, trying to be as short as possible, he explained her about Lews Therin talking to him; he didn't like talking about it.

"How far can you remember, what is the earliest memory you've?" Asked paled face Birgitte. "How far your memories reach?"

It took him a long moment to answer, "The oldest memory I've is when Lews Therin was a child," Birgitte still looked pale, but she exhaled with relief.

"You'll remember everything, given time." She said, and before he could say anything, she added, "I won't, can not, answer any of your question, Lews Therin. Ask me none. I can't tell you how I know this, I've broken too many of the laws already."

He stared at her, she looked like a lioness protecting her cubs, he could get his answers, one way or the other, yet he owed her too much, "So be it," He said, inclining his head in acceptance. "I don't like it though," Birgitte looked at him in indignation.

"Where are Nynaeve and Lan?" He asked, "And Narishma and Mierin?" Those four were the only ones he didn't see.

"Lan thought that Nynaeve deserved a better place to rest than the floor. So he dragged her to bed when she began to fall asleep. Narishma woke about half an hour ago, and took Mierin to bed also." Min answered, a small smile on her lips, he didn't want her to smile so, not now; she was beautiful as it was. When Min smiled, she could make the sun look pale. "I don't think Mierin is going to sleep for long."

Rand snorted shortly, Min, unlike Aviendha or Elayne, accepted Mierin's bond to him, and that he passed it to Narishma, with so much ease he suspected a viewing, although she denied it. "You don't know Mierin," He said with a tiny smile, Min was just what he needed, to make him forget everything that troubled him. With her, even with others around, he could be Rand al'Thor, a sheepherder from the Two Rivers, not the Dragon Reborn, or the car'a'carn. Or the King of Illian, or any other bloody title he might be carrying. He glanced at Elayne and Aviendha, sleeping dreamlessly, if they would have dreamed, they would have relived one of the nightmares the Dark One sent, and he would have felt that. "Lan and Narishma were right," He murmured, "This floor in no place for sleeping." Min groaned in agreement.

Birgitte stared at him, her eyes old, "I suggest you will not touch saidin, not for now, at least, you've drunk quite a bit of ousqui. Not to mention that you've no idea what touching saidin, cleaned, will do to you." She paused, looking at him worriedly. And he nodded, he already thought of it, which was why he wasn't full of saidin at the very moment.

"I know, I've no intention risking myself drowning in the source, not until I'll have enough time to... gather my will." Strong willpower was required to mute the need for saidin, but without the taint... He doubt if he had strong enough will to resist the urge to pull more of the power when he find saidin clean. And to be a little drunk would do no help. He had to let memories of the battle with the Dark One fade first, even with the horrors, the power flowed in him in amount he didn't dreamed about. So much power, so much sweetness he nearly drowned in it. It frightened him, saidin was addicting, even with the taint. How strongthe pulling would be now that it's clean. Despite the fight for survival and the Dark One's distant whispers, without the taint saidin was so pure, so... wonderful, beautiful, that he wanted to scream his joy into the skies, to let it echo from one side of the world to another. He muted those thoughts quickly, duty is heavier than a mountain. He reminded himself, if he would let himself think along those lines, he might be temped to take a hold on the male figure that lay in a room a mile above him. With the strongest shields he could weave guarding it, closing the ter'angreals that would allow him to use the strongest male sa'angreal every created, closing his way to sure destruction.

He looked at the two sleeping warders and considered his options, he couldn't let himself touch saidin, not any time soon, he feared. Not unless he knew he wouldn't lose control on the power, or draw too much of it. This mountain was a constant reminder to what might happen when the power escape his control.

But still, he reached out for saidin, wove and tied flows Air as quickly as he could. Elayne and Aviendha floated in the air four feet above the ground, and even that brief touch of saidin left him with burning desire for more. It took all his will to release the power, and he drew as little as he could. The power left him, slowly, and he exhaled in relief and regret. Min looked at him, with eyes so soft that he thought she might begin to cry. "There was... no sickness in you this time, Rand." She said, "I couldn't feel the taint." She smiled at him; her beaming at him had its full affect. He had hard time breathing.

"You'll not go mad, Rand. You'll not die." She laughed, and relief and freedom drowned every other emotion in her. "Do you hear me, Rand al'Thor? You are not going to go mad! And I will skin you myself if you'll let yourself die." Then, she rose on her tiptoes and gave his a short, joyful, kiss.

Selandhra of the Karande Daryne didn't look at the ten Seia Doon encased in nothing and seethed, barely aware of the group of Far Dareis Mai fanned out around her. If those men must go mad, then they could in the least have killed the Seia Doon instead of humiliating warriors so, catching them as easily as she would have catched a goat. And that the men were Seia Doon meant nothing; she had seen men of every society wrapped with invisible chain, and Far Dareis Mai, as well. Her eyes were directed up, into the skies, that burned in color impossible and that were full of fire and lightning and monsters made of clouds and lights; and, more than anything else, beauty. A cloud capture her eyes, shaped as a dragon attacking. "Those men have incurred much toh in doing this," she heard her first-sister growl softly, bringing her back to the ground.

"They do not follow ji'e'toh," Selandhra sharply reminded Talend, then paused thoughtfully. "But you are correct. There must be a way in which we can pay them for humiliating all the Aiels like this."

"Maiden's Kiss, of course," Talend said after a moment of thought, snapping her fingers joyfully, a wicked smile blooming on her face. "They are still men, able to channel or not. And wetlanders to boot, they do not know the game."

A smile spread on Selandhra's face, as well as those of the other Maidens. "First sister, sometimes you amaze me," she said, feeling the smile widening.

"We should not do it now, though. I want to have Miralen with us" Talend added, Miralen were her first-sister, and Selandhra's, of course, "There is time yet, and so far they have harmed no one."

"Save our pride," Selandhra murmured, but she nodded as the Maidens dispersed.

I must do sentry duty," Talend said. "May you always find shade and water, first-sister."

"And you, first sister," Selandhra replied. She turned and headed back to her room, not looking back at the still-frozen Aiel. There was nothing she could do about them. Her first-sister was right; the Asha'man had not harmed anybody that she had heard of. She doubted that they would let their prisoners starve.

The next morning she had barely come out of the palace, holding spears and buckler as always, when she saw another one of those men the wetlanders called Asha'man striding by, grinning widely and juggling two or three dozen colored lights. A young man goggling fire like any gleeman, by his looks, maybe a year younger than her and two or three younger than Talend. Miralen should like him; he seemed the type of man that always got her into troubles. He was tall and dark hair and eyes, and with a light in his eyes that clearly gave him away as a lecher.

A group of Maidens, including her first-sisters, was heading for him, unfazed by the strange display the wetlander man was putting on. Their intent was obvious to Selandhra. Grinning in anticipation, she headed over to join them.

The wetlander man stopped in his tracks as the Far Dareis Mai fanned out and blocked his way, looking at him challengingly. Irana stepped forward and said something. Selandhra was still too far away to hear what the Maiden said, but she knew what was being said.

As Selandhra neared them, she heard the wetlander say, "I'm always ready for a little game. Maiden's Kiss, it's called?" The wetlander's grin widened even further and he stopped juggling the colored balls of light. They hung in the air for a moment and then winked out. The moment they were gone, a ring of sharp steel pressed against his throat. Pleased anticipation changed into not so pleased surprise, and Selandhra laughed quietlyas she placed one of her own spears against the man's neck.

He arrogantly raised an eyebrow at Selandhra and grinned confidently. "You'll pay for this," he said with a slight nod. Slight, because he couldn't have made more of a motion without shaving his neck closer than he would have liked. And he dared to make threats!

"What are the rules of this... game?" He sounded... sober, as if he had been drunk until now, and was now shaken to full awareness.

"If you kiss well enough, we will ease the spears a little," Selandhra replied with an evil grin. The man's smile widened. "If you do not kiss well, we push the spears closer. For some reason, that seems to encourage men to kiss better." She saw a flash of emotion and indecision pass across his face, and then some decision was arrived at. Really, these wetlanders were so obvious!

The smile didn't fade. "That won't be a problem," the black clad man murmured, "as long as you are first." His dark eyes locked with hers, as he couldn't bring his hands up far enough to point.

"You are quite arrogant, are you not?" she said, amused and slightly irritated, but she moved to be the first.

He laughed. "I'm certainly not Maiden! It's you who have too much pride. But this can be taken care of." He tilted his head, as if considering something, then nodded."Yes, this can easily be taken care of."

Miralen giggled, "Selandhra is not that easily satisfied, wetlander. I think we'll have to shave you by the time we'll be through." She told the wetlander.

"I wouldn't have bet on that," The man muttered, "I'm about to cheat." Miralen laugher died; instead she glared at him. Did he lack honor; planning to cheat in a game the way he just say he would? And how could he cheat?

Selandhra sighed in exasperation. Wetlanders never seemed to talk sense. She leaned forward, and kissed the wetlander on the lips, it was quite hard, since he didn't stop smiling, Miralen was right, they would have to... She experienced pure bliss. It was indescribable. It felt like every joy she had ever felt in her entire life, tasted like the very first drop water after not drinking for days. The world dissolved around her and she lost herself in the feeling, unaware of the fact that her spears and buckler had clattered to the floor and that she had melted into the wetlander's arms.

After an eternity that last only a moment - she couldn't decide how long it had been - the kiss ended and she came back to reality. Opening her eyes, she gazed into the wetlander's dark eyes and said the first words that came to mind. "What... what was... that?"

Out of her range of vision, she heard Talend laugh. "Obviously he tried harder for you than for any other woman in his life!"

"You could say so," the man agreed cheerfully, and the spears that were held to his throat disappeared, leaving only dust in the maiden's hands. He didn't release his hold on Selandhra when he took a step back. "I believe that this was good enough," he told Talend, who was still staring at her empty hands in amazement. Only then did Selandhra become aware of... something in the back of her mind. Emotions, they seemed... strange, out of place.... They were not her own! The realization shocked her. Those emotions were coming from the wetlander! She could clearly see each emotion flitting across his face, exactly as she felt them in her mind.

Outraged, she pushed the wetlander away with all her strength, causing him to trip and fall. "What have you done?" she shouted at him, infuriated, snatching up one of her spears from the floor. It was hard, her knees wanted to give way.

Taking the two steps between him and her, she placed her spear against his throat, not at all playful this time, forcing him to stay down. A trickle of blood welled up from the point of the spear, and she became aware of a painful sensation in her throat. Involuntarily reaching up, she felt her throat... but there was nothing. The pain came from the wetlander. "What have you done?" she cried again, outraged.

The wetlander grinned insolently and pushed her spear away as he rose. "Do not attempt to attack me again," he said. Selandhra suddenly felt her will to do so melt away like water pouring over sand. She was still furious, yet she couldn't direct that anger at him violently. In her mind, she knew this was not natural... but she could not fight it. She would not attack him now, however much she wished to be able to in the deep, hidden parts of her mind. She simply couldn't gather the will to do so; her body had no wish to do so.

"What did you do?" she said again, not quite as fiercely as before.

"I bonded you," he replied simply. "I think you'd make a fine Warder."

Selandhra exchanged stunned looks with her first-sisters. Bonded? Bonded, the same way Aes Sedai and Warders are? I am... bonded to this wetlander? How dares he! "Wetlander, you have made a foolish mistake," Talend said warningly. "I did not wish to hurt you, but if it is necessary...." Miralen had veiled herself and tightened her hold on the spears. She always had vile temper.

"If you hurt me, you hurt her as well," the wetlander replied smugly. "Didn't you know that?" He raised an eyebrow in mock surprised; she could feel his bloody smugness! "Whatever the bondholder feels, the Warder feels, and the other way around as well. If I die, she will likely to die, as well, or worse." He looked hunted for a moment, and she felt fear in him, it was gone in a flash, expression and emotion both, as he continued: "Or so we believe. Of course, no one has been willing to test it." He laughed suddenly, as if he said something funny. Wetlander humor! Selandhra thought disgustedly.

Looking at her, he added, "I don't even know your name. I am Taval Griellin. And your name is?"

"I am Selandhra of the Karande sept of the Daryne Aiel." Why had she answered him? She should give him nothing!

"Well, Selandhra of the Karande sept of the Daryne Aiel, I hope we will get along, because if we don't, then it's unhappy business for all," he said, smiling cheerfully. She wanted to punch him. He had no right to be so self-satisfied with himself.

Selandhra was torn inside. She still wanted to kill him for doing this to her, but much of her shied away from even thinking of this. Another part of her wanted to only do as he ask, obey his every word. The worst thing was, she knew which part would dominate. The part that wanted to obey and follow him, like a milk-hearted wetlander woman. She could already feel it tugging at her, but she still hated him for doing this!

She looked at him with agony in her eyes, and then at her first-sister, then did what she had never done since joining the maidens. She broke down and wept.

Narishma didn't like carrying Mierin through those seemingly endless corridors. Or, to be rather exact, he liked it, far too much to be healthy. What a man can do when he falls in love with a woman, and he knows she loves him, but also know that those two feeling were forced on their hearts? She was half asleep when she put her arms around his neck and murmured his name softly; her tone made his heart miss a beat.

"I would never let you go, Narishma." She mumbled against his chest, "I warn you now, I can't let you walk away, and I won't. If you're mine, you are mine completely. Mind and body and soul and heart, all mine, completely, no way back. I want your heart, Narishma, fully, to be mines alone, forever. I'll not have anything else!" All this was delivered with her eyes close and fingernails trailing the back of his neck. She even sounded sleepy, as if she didn't woke fully yet. She yawned and returned to sleep, her head against his chest, so soft he feared she might break if he would let her go. And... and... and he didn't know whatever he wanted to hug her till she would beg mercy or throw her on the floor and leave her there.

Reaching the doors to his quarters saved him from making that decision. He looked in awe at his rooms, black and white and silver, he doubted if he wanted to know how she decorated this place so fast, when he lived in those rooms for more than a week and hadn't done anything to personalize his own home save putting his cloths in the wardrobe. The entrance to their rooms were breathtaking by itself, a round table stood in one of the corners of the huge room, fit for dozen diners, made of black wood, it was polished to such perfection that it reflected the light. The chairs that were neatly arranged near the table were a priceless artwork in white and silver, the smooth, flowing lines, of the white wood - he couldn't recognize what kind of tree the chair was made from, the same as with the table's wood - with silver threads, shaped like braids in complex design on the back of each chair.

A picture, dozen feet high, twenty wide, was hanged few paces from the table, of a city that could have never exist, with towers too thin to support their own weight reaching out for the skies and strange shapes floatingbetween the towers. A huge ball hanged, unsupported, in the air. And black fire leashed out of it. He asked Mierin about it, she named the picture "Guilt", and said she was the one who made it. But refuse to give him any farther explaination, and he had no intention to push her too strongly when she clearly didn't want to talk about it.

It was very detailed picture; you could see people in the streets, staring at horror at the ball that burned in that black fire. Yet, despite the size of the picture, it covered only half the length of the wall it was on. He had no need for so much space, - and that was the entrance only - but now he was glad of it, Mierin was the one who needed the space, and he was glad of it. Glad of her, for her, because of her, he couldn't decide what was stronger. She brought so much beauty and joy into his life.

Another table lay on the other side of the room, this time white and gold, exactly the size for two people to share an intimate dinner after a long day. He shake his head, he would have to wait for a long time before such things would be possible, at least if he didn't want the dinner in his face. He moved away from what seemed like cascade of water colored in red and yellow and green and blue and purple, frozen at a single moment in time.

His boots made no sound over nearly black carpet with slashes of silver and white. It should have looked ridiculous. A room that held almost no colors. Only white and silver and black, yet the picture, and the statue of flowing water made the difference. They gave the impression that anything more would be too much.

He took the left door, the door to her bedroom, and he was thankful to her for this, he doubt if he could remain sane, sharing the same bedroom. Laying her gently on the bed, he stared at her; he couldn't leave her to sleep in her cloths. And at the same time, he couldn't make himself undress her. Not if he wanted to avoid tangling the situation even further, as hard to believe that was. Man found himself tangled in the strangest troubles, married.

When he brought her to their room the first time, a simple flow of Fire did the trick; she hated the red and black dress. But he liked the dress she was wearing. She chose it because he said she would look good in black.

Sighing tiredly, he turned her over, so she lay on her back, and began to open the buttons of the dress. "It feels nice, Narishma." Mierin mumbled, face pressed against a pillow. "Why did you wait so long?"

He stared at her for a long moment, his hands stopped moving. "Because," He answered, continue unbuttoning her black dress, his hands shock, hard. "Whatever you feel for me is being resulted by the bond. Everything you feel for me is a result of the bond. And I've some pride left in me." He finished unbuttoning her dress and took a step back; there were limits to the best self-control. "Can you go on from here?" He asked, prayed.

She turned her head to him, "I doubt it," She answered; she wasn't talking about her dress. "I doesn't have pride, not enough to stop me from seducing you." He gaped at her, women weren't suppose to talk like that, "whatever the source of my emotions, they are real enough for me." She didn't sound sleepy anymore. "Now, could you take the dress off the rest of the way off?" Her words were to be considered, certainly. The dress was folded neatly as soon as he could do it, with him trying to ignore what he saw, and felt. She didn't joke about seducing him.

"Here," He muttered, "Now you can sleep. We can talk later, when you're not half drunk." Or I am. He began to exit the room when Mierin's call stopped him.

"Don't leave, mia'da'covale'asha'man!" He didn't recognize the word, "I know I'm not beautiful anymore, nor even pretty," Didn't she had eyes? She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. She gave him no chance of speaking, protesting, "but I think you owe me that much, I can't have you leave me. I can't be left alone again!" She needed him, and nothing else mattered more than her need. It might have been the bond, or the result of the feeling the bond had awaken inside him, be the reason as it might be, he could leave her as easily as stop breathing.

The tableau was deathly still, the silence broken only by the faint sobs of Selandhra. The silence did not last long, though; Miralen of the Bloody Rocks Miagoma, Seladhra's first sister, drew her veil across her face in a swift motion and advanced upon Taval Griellin, completely undaunted by the fact that she had no spears in hand.

"No!" Teland said sharply, moving in front of Miralen and cutting her off from the wetlander. "Anything you do to him will also be felt by Selandhra."

"That is true," Teland heard her first-sister say. Glancing at Selandhra, Teland saw that her first-sister had wiped away her tears and looked perfectly well, if a trifle shaken. "I have already experienced it, with the spear. It would serve no purpose to kill him."

The wetlander laughed abruptly, more a bark than a laugh, and eyed the three of them in a way that made Teland want to slap him. "If you could kill me."

"I would not gamble on that, had I been in your place." Miralen growled ominously, but at last she unveiled herself.

Teland put a comforting arm on her first-sister's shoulder and glared fiercely at the wetlander who called himself Taval Griellin. "You may have a claim on my first-sister, but less than the claim the Far Dareis Mai, her sept, clan, the Aiel, and I and Miralen do. Do not presume that you can take her away and involve her in whatever plots you may be in."

Disgust crossed the man's face, "I'm no Aes Sedai!" He said, losing the grin for the first time. He face went grim, and he glared at her. "Sent the rest of the maidens away, Selandhra. We need to talk." Selandhra's hands flashed in hand talk, and all the maidens save Miralen and Teland left.

"I'm not about to leave you with that... Asha'man." Miralen said, and Teland nodded in agreement.

"I'm no Asha'man," Taval Griellin said, touching the side of his collar, it was empty, on the other side there was a silver pin shaped as a sword. "Only a Dedicated, for now."

Teland snorted, "That mattered nothing, as long as Selandhra has the bond to you, we'll remain with her. To protect her." Her words caused a sigh from Taval Griellin.

"The idea of spending the rest of my life with you near is enough to make any man sick," Taval Griellin said with a sharp voice. "Do you really need them?" He asked Selandhra, and for a moment, Teland feared that Selandhra would say that she has no need of them.

"Of course I do, you numbskull son of a toad!" She snapped at the dark man, "They are my first-sisters!"

"Fine," Taval Griellin rose his hands in the air and let them drop, "Gather every Far Dareis Mai you can find and bring her along with us, I don't care!"

"Why would I want to do any such thing, Taval Griellin?" Selandhra asked, "What make you think I would want to take the rest of the maidens with us? And for that matter, what make you that we are going anywhere. If I've to put up with you in my head, I would do so, as a reminder of my foolishness. But I've no intentions of going with you anywhere, nor with any other wetlander, but especially with you!"

"No sense of humor either," Taval Griellin murmured to himself, making both Talend and Miralen stare at him. Selandhra laughed almost at anything, sometimes she even laughed to wetlanders' jokes! She had more sense of humor than any three other women that Teland knew. The man tilted his head to one side and clapped his hands few times, "That was a nice speech, but there might be a problem here, you see, Selandhra, I've every intention to take you with me. If I've to take those... flea bags along if you insist it, but you will come with me." Teland veiled herself silently; Miralen was already veiled. After a moment of hesitation, Selandhra veiled herself too; ready to kill, they faced him.

"Tell me, would you try to kill me, unveiled?" Taval Griellin asked, seemingly unaffected by the danger they radiated.

"Of course not! Don't you know anything?" Selandhra snapped at him scornfully.

"Not quite," Taval Griellin said quietly to Selandhra, eying her in a way that made Teland's hand itch for her dagger, "But I've every intention to learn." Selandhra growled wordlessly.

The black veils were torn to shreds and pulled away from them by something they could neither see nor fight. "Now are you ready to come with me?" Taval Griellin said; sounding slightly amused. "Or would I have to carry you all the way to the Black Tower?" Teland began to understand why Selandhra cried.

"There is no crime unworthy to save a warder's life, nor an action may left untaken. Life and soul, heart and mind, we belong to each other, never calm without those who lies in the back of our heads. From now to the end of time, until last breath is taken, many are one. One is many. As high as the price will be, in gold or silver, a waterfall to make her laugh or our very soul, we shall pay it. For there is nothing more important for the Guardians than the Sisters of Battle they had taken. And anything shall be forgiven, as long as Gaidar's life was the cause. For there is nothing to equal the Gaidar, and may nothing ever be."

This quote, taken from "The Black Tower's Code", the set of rules and regulations that the Asha'man follow, sum everything one could say about the Asha'man and their warders.

Asha'man are capable of doing everything if there is the slightest danger to their warders. In one example, I witnessed the heights an Asha'man's flagitiousness can reach, once his warder is in threat.

Several questioners that once belonged to the Children of the Light had captured one of Jonan's warders, Delir, close to three months after the Last Battle. None of them survived the incident. Jonan Marley is well known, of course, due to his actions in Tarmon Gai'don, and he had the reputation of a man with icy blood. Never it had been recorded that he showed the slightest sign of temper. Nor that he had any sadistic nature. I can witness myself that Jonan never turned to violence unless he had to, but there is nothing more atrocious than an Asha'man with his warder in danger.

I've seen what left from those questioners, despite all my years as an Aes Sedai, and the recent horror we've all experienced in the Last Battle, I've never seen a sight more terrifying than that place. I have no wish to see such a thing in my life again.

The Two Towers
Runea Marley and Somara Miliard
The Black Tower
The Forth Age
 

Mierin awoke shivering all over her body, despite the feeling of Narishma's body, fully clothed, pressed to hers and the thick blankets on the bed. The bed? She distantly remembered him carrying her. It felt good, feeling him so close to her. It felt good to know he was still with her. The memories were still dancing in her mind, chilling her to the bone. Memories of the worst fears possible, the worst she had knew in her life.

She tried to push the memories back, but failed, and her mind listed them all to her, with her shivering and fighting back tears and screams.

Narishma had never become a true Asha'man; he went over to the shadow and handed her to Moridin, to die or worse. And the Naeb'lis trapped her again in a cour'souvra and handed the Mindtrap to Narishma, to be held by a bond and a Mindtrap both.

All She could hear was Narishma and Moridin laughing. Laughing when she tried to kill herself and was stopped without even one of them making a move. Stopped by the bond, the bond that had became a prison worse than any Mindtrap could ever be. They watched amused how she tried to die, and how all her attempts failed. She broke down and cried: "I love you," not knowing if she meant Lews Therin or the man who took the bond after him, the man who gave her to the shadow.

The man she had started to love. And the feeling of loving a man belonged to the shadow made her so sick inside she wanted to die, forever. Despite being of the shadow in the past herself, now, the idea horrified her, sicken her, and Narishma watched her all the time, constantly amused.

Narishma kept her, as a lover. And she was destined to live, to live forever, in love with a man that made her want to throw up. To live forever, never free, never with a chanceof being free. Narishma gave her orders, and she was obeyed, gladly. But some distant part of her never stopped screaming, screamed forever, never free, without a chance of happiness. Screaming to the end of time.

There were others, of course, as worse or more, and she did cried for those.

Narishma became an Asha'man, and was loyal to the Light as Lews Therin himself, and he was beautiful and sweet to her, giddy and intensely overjoyed because saidin was cleansed. He went off partying with his fellows Asha'man, and she watched him go with a smile. Let him have fun, she thought. Until she felt him close and she heard him in the bedroom late at night, all of a sudden, laughing and talking to someone. He had opened a gateway to the bedroom directly. Jealously aroused, she rushed to his room and saw him kissing a woman, a golden haired, beautiful woman... her worst nightmare coming true.

As she channeled to set full light in the room, readied herself to kill this woman, to kill the man who betrayed her, she recognized the woman in Narishma's arm, where only she may be! The woman was almost naked, her clothes lay carelessly on the ground, and Narishma pressed her tightly to his own body. Mierin," He said seriously, not bothered at all that she had caught him and Ilyena bare to their toes, "I would like you to meet my second warder, Ilyena." Saidar left her slowly.

"You!" she screamed after the shock subside, agonized, angry beyond control, embraced saidar again to kill this woman for once and for all... and then she felt suddenly the urge to do it slip away. She glared at Narishma, and he smiled and said: "The bond wouldn't let you do any harm another warder of mine, Mierin." There was no mockery in his voice, and somehow it made it worst.

The hate and the fury still bubbled inside of her, but she couldn't make herself kill the woman. And all this time Ilyena gazed her with laughing deep blue eyes, and silent message in them,"He'll love me more than you, Mierin. I won again.... For the second time, your man is now mine!" And she knew it was true... Ilyena had won again, but this time, she wouldn't be left behind, Narishma meant to keep her, and Ilyena. And she couldn't make up her mind with what was worse.

Mierin turned around in bed, clutching Narishma's shoulders. He awoke with a jerk, his eyes in deep shock. "Tell me you love me, Jahar Narishma!" She insisted, she had to hear the words or she would go insane. She had!

His eyes softened, so big to his face, full of emotion, "Of course I do, Mierin. And always will." He hugged her, hard. His voice cloud with emotions,"I'll never let you go. Didn't you know that? You're my wife, forever!"

That is what I hoped, but I had to be sure." she sighed, suppressing her memories, trying to enjoy the moment. Knowing that those nightmares were as near impossibility as they could be helped not a bit.

"What time is it?" Narishma asked after a while.

"I've no idea." She told him, "I think we've slept for at least a day."

Narishma nodded, "I must go now, " He said, and moved as if to rise, but all in all, it took a very long time before they got out of bed. And Mierin discovered that her newfound shyness was easily forgotten.

Balir walked through the streets, washing in pure joy, Asha'man trailing along all around him, saidin filling them to the point where pain and life were one and the same. Every last one of the Asha'man was shouting and laughing as hard as they could. He looked back at them, and laughed even more, men able to channel, once doomed to go mad from the taint but now... "Cleaned! Free!" He shouted in joy, free from the taint, free from the dark one's touch on saidin and experiencing, for the first time ever, saidin, pure and untainted. Saidin flowed in him, and skies above were lightening in green fire, and then red, and with every other color imaginable.

He looked about him, the Andorans stared at them in shock, even fear, he laughed and ran on, let them fear what they will, he was holding saidin and nothing else mattered. Nothing! Save that sweet flow of life. He lost all sense of time, only that he still held saidin, and that the dream didn't end.

He saw a child the age of five staring at him, and wove Fire and Air, a ball of blue cold fire appeared in front of the small boy, and he laughed as the boy touched it gingerly. Tying the weave, he laughed harder. Looking at the skies, he saw a dragon floating, the size of a big house, made of fire and air, much the same as the ball he made for the little child. He wove the flows to increase the size of the creature. Other dragons appeared in the air, and other creatures too. Men's face, and women's, pictures made of fire and air that danced in the air to the Asha'man's will. A Trolloc the size of a house gnarled in the skies, only to die by a storm of purple lightnings.

It was a game, pure and simple, and he joined it gladly, his creation was Taim's face, he didn't used fire and air, instead, he took a cloud from the sky, forming it the way he wanted. But he lengthened the nose, and widened the cheekbones; the hair became longer. Teeth sharper and longer, a monster made of cloud, walking on air alone, shouting soundlessly.

But the game bored him soon enough, and he let his weave dissolved. Other took his place, all this power cried out to be used, and the Asha'man were eager to do so.

He heard someone moaning nearby, and turned a corner to see a girl, less than fifteen, that apparently tried to get a better view of the display in the sky. She fell to the ground from one of the roofs. Bending knee over the girl, Balir Delved. Searching for the hurts. Three ribs broken, and the girl's left leg crushed, without Healing, there would be no other option but cut it off.

Yet Balir had Healing, and now he wove the complex weaves. The girl looked at him, gasping and panting, men's healing felt as if you were burning, "You can channel!' That was an accusation. "Why did you help me? My mother said all the Asha'man are mad and evil!"

Balir laughed as he help the boy to his feet, "Tell your mother she is wrong, girl." He said, and watched the girl fleeing away with a smile. Then he raised his hand and sent three fire balls, green and yellow and burning red after the girl; to follow her for few days, certainly something to attract the boys' attention. He thought, amused. And laughed, without the slightest bit of self-control again. Life was too good not to savor it.

Turning back, he ran straight into a group of women, those Aielwomen, maidens the spear. He laughed hysterically, saidin filled him, magnifying ever sense and experience, a few women could be just what he needed right now. The women stopped and stared at him, laughing hysterically in the streets of Andor, his fellow Asha'man could be heard everywhere, doing everything they could dream of in celebration of this wondrous event. For some reason, the street emptied as soon as he entered it, he couldn't understand why.

The women in front, the leader, so he guessed, signaled to the women behind her in maiden's hand talk and all but five ran off. The remaining five surrounded him, spears in hands, face veiled, "He's gone mad, they've all gone mad " he heard one of them say.

He turned to her and laughed "No..." he began but nearly collapsed laughing before he could get the rest out. Even being mad seemed funny. Suddenly the maidens attacked, each one a blur, striking at him, trying to take him down. He had been thought two dozens and more ways to stop such attack, with or without saidin. All deadly, spears nearly touch his skin when he finally channeled, a simple weave, harmless, yet effective in stopping their annoying attack. He looked at them all again, each one frozen in mid strike and smiled harder.

"Good evening, Ladies. If you excuse me, I'll be off, you'll be free in an hour or three." And raced away around a corner. With so much of saidin, he savored every heartbeat of life so strong that it became painful.

He ran for what seemed like minutes. Yet, judging by the sun, it must have been hours, before he came in contact with another group of maidens. He prepared the weave he had used on the other women and was about to launch it when one of the women shouted, "Wait! We will not harm you! We wish to invite you to join a game". The Asha'man raised his eyebrows, curious.

"A game," he said, "what kind of game." He wouldn't mind to play a new game.

The women who had spoken looked at the other women and nodded, "It is named Maidens Kiss," she said with a smile. He smile widen, it sounded fun.

"Then let us begin this game, Maiden's Kiss." Spear made a necklace around his neck, nearly breaking the skin. And amusement died. "The rules of the game are very simple, they had to be, for a man to understand them." A woman explained as he readied flows of Air to hold off the spears. "We kiss you, if the kiss is satisfactory we ease up the pressure on our spears". The Asha'man smirked, this game didn't sound very challenging, yet he didn't release his flows, he could easily have more than a few scars from the previous encounter with the maidens of the spear. The woman continued "However, if the kiss displeases us, we increase the pressure on our spears, a bit of incentive to try harder next time".

Before he had a chance to say anything one of the maidens kissed him full on the lips, he gasped, still holding saidin, the kiss seemed to go on for an age, each detail, each sense enhanced. He readied flows of saidin, unconsciously, too busy kissing the maiden to know what he was doing. Too busy feeling the kiss to think coherently. And the weave he had been preparing lashed out and attached itself to the women, she moaned into his mouth and soften against him, smiling uncontrollably. Another of the women smirked as she pushed the maiden that he just... kissed,away from him, another pair of far derais mai had to hold her up. "Selan has always been easily pleased, let us see how good you are with one more experienced" She lowered her spear and kissed him, and again the flows of saidin readied themselves and woven without his mind have any saying in the matter. He had never kissed a girl with saidin flowing in him, never felt a kiss so clear, so... pure and full of life. With saidin sharpening his senses, a kiss felt like a dream never ending.

Her reaction was almost identical to the other maiden, soft and yielding. And when the kiss ended she simply dropped her spear on the ground and sat next to it, apparently he had satisfied her enough to put her out of the game. She sat down on the ground and suddenly jumped up, rubbing her palms, there had been a sharp rock where she had sat down. The Asha'man winced as if he felt her pain in himself. Only when he started rubbing his own palm to soothe the pain did he began to realize what he had done.

The realization cleared his obscure mind. He had bonded two women, without their consent. He lost his hold on saidin, the shock too much for him to bear. It shook him off the joy saidin set inside him.

What would he do, he couldn't break the Bond, and even if he would find a way, doing so would probably kill the warder, and him as well. He sighed, the euphoria of the day lost on him now, there would have to explanations made back at the Black Tower. And none he looked forward, forming the coldness that were needed for saidin he sent himself to the True Source, half afraid what he might find. Afraid that the taint returned, that the vile feeling would turn his stomach and sank into his very soul. Saidin waited, as clean and pure as he picture in his dreams alone.

He doubt if the maidens would let him take two of their numbers, and had no wish to give any explanation whatsoever, he wove air, and set the flows to fade in an hour. And, ignoring the maidens' protests, lift the two maidens he had kissed - his bloody warders, the Light burn his soul, still dazed of his kiss - with flows of air, and opened a gateway for skimming back to the Black Tower.

The pair danced, the man wore nothing but dark gray breech that fit him like a second skin, and soft leather boots. The woman wore cadin'sor in gray and brown and green. The pair danced, and they danced to the music of the clash of metal against metal, as sword met short spear, or the sound of the sword hitting leather buckler.

Elayne watched them with amazement; joy reached her through the bond, overpowering, overwhelming, and strong enough even to mute the pain in Rand's side. She have seen the warders training, and heard Aviendha talking with longing about her days as a maiden, but she could hardly believe her own eyes when she watched them dance together. Elayne recalled that once Aviendha said that there was only one dance she was ready to dance with a man. And Rand had more skill in the dance of battle than any she had ever met. Save maybe Lan. "She is very good," She said quietly, she didn't want to disturb the pair; although she doubted that anything could do that. For some reason, Rand and Aviendha enjoyed taunting and shouting and fighting each other as much as they enjoyed kissing, she would slapped Rand until he got his head straight and have rings in his ears until the Wheel of Time would turn a spoke if he would ever behave her the same as he did with Aviendha.

But Aviendha accepted it without a blink and replayed ten times as much as she got. It was a mystery to Elayne, but that was how it was. "She is more than simply very good." Min said, "I think that only Sulin bests her, and not many are equal."

Birgitte nodded, "Indeed, she served at least five years as a maiden, and she carries not a single scar, that mark her as either a great warrior or a great coward." Elayne tensed at the insult to her near sister, Birgitte looked at her, lips curled in amusement, "Just look at her, Elayne. I doubt if she understand that fear is more than just a ward." Min laughed softly to that, a hand touching her stomach.

"Which one is better?" She asked; she had little knowledge about such matters. Yet it seemed as if it was Aviendha that attacked most of the time, with Rand deflecting the thrusts as easily as a child chasing away a cat. Their speed kept increasing as the circled each other, none showed any sign of tiredness, nor that they had any trouble continuing in the battle forever, never mind that their movement became a blur more often than not. Aviendha suggested this... amusement, when it became clear that Rand was ready to explode if he would have something to do to drive thought about saidin, cleaned, from his mind. He feared drawing too much, and rightfully. He said that even the thought of how saidin felt, clean, was dangerous; it was more than simply the pull of the One Power. Rand knew to be careful, but he seemed to have little control on himself now.

Birgitte's eyes were intent on the pair, at least some of Rand's joy had to do with the fight, "They hadn't touched their limits yet, Elayne. And it may take hours for such a battle to settle." She fell silent for a heartbeat, "Yet there are no levels of skill in battlefield, Elayne. There are only those who survived, and those who hadn't. And even the best can die in battle." Would Rand die too? And in what battle would he die?

No, there was no question whatever or not Rand would die or not. There was only the question of when, and how. Blinking away tears unshed, Elayne grimaced; tears are for after, woman. Maybe, if she would repeat it to herself enough times she would begin to believe it. Maybe.

Min laid a comporting hand on her shoulder, "Don't lose hope, Elayne. That is the one thing we can't allow ourselves." Min understood her; they were standing on the same spot, in love with a man that was doom to die. And despite everything, Min managed a twisted smile that held little mirth in it.

Birgitte nodded, feeling her emotions, guessing her thoughts, "Noting is lost until the battle is done and the crows feed, Elayne." Min grunted sourly.

"Thank you," Elayne laughed, "That was cheerful," but it was, in a way. Birgitte knew her well.

"I meant it," Birgitte said, serious now, "Min's... condition is not the end of the world." the last was deliver in a whisper, there had to keep some secrets from Rand now, to save his life. "It's often the other way around."

"I don't know what I would do if I'd to choose between Rand and the world," Min whispered slowly, "I dare not reach a decision, it would be a betrayal either way." Elayne growled in frustration; it was too close to her own thought. It wasn't fair!

Her eyes returned to Rand, he was perfect, absolutely perfect. And he was hers, never mind that she had to share him. The only defects in him were that old, horrible, half healed wound in his side, and that scar that crossed it, both of them full of evil and painful. She couldn't understand how he could live so normally, when his side throbbed as if stabbed anew with every breath he took.

If he could ignore pain so strong that it made her want to cry for him every time she let herself feel it, she certainly could push back the pain she felt, even for a little while. Love is two-thirds joy and one-third sorrow, she recalled Lini saying once, where did the old woman gained such a stock of saying? Lini never seemed to be wrong, and she always had a saying or two handy.

Yet Elayne knew that no pain of the body, not even Rand's half healed wounds, could be as strong as the pain she would feel, losing Rand.

Dorindha, of the Smoke Water Miagoma, smiled as she fondled her belt knife. There was word from the spear-sisters of some fine amusement. One of those black-coated wetlanders had fallen for a Maiden and offered to play Maiden's Kiss. Dorindha was glad she had sharpened all her steel today. In the last two days the city was in chaos, and the skies were a marvel. It would be good to put one of those Asha'man down a peg of three.

The Far Dareis Mai had gathered around a fountain in the middle of a dusty square just outside the Old City. Only a few of Narys's close kin and near-sisters stood around the black-coated man. As Narys's second sister, she was to be one of those who played the game. Slipping through the crowd of watchers, she stood beside her second sister. "This should be entertaining." She told Narys, rumors began to spread in the city, strange rumors, disturbing. Maidens disappeared, in numbers too big to be ignored.

And the numbers of the Asha'man in the street seemed to be reduced too, yet no bodies were found. Maidens playing maiden's kiss with Asha'man vanished, to be more exact. But the danger made it all more amusing. And if something strange happened when you kissed a man that could channel, Dorindha was certainly willing to try it. Narys seemed eager too.

Narys was the older of the two. She had the rugged features of their father, the sept chief, and the deep-set gray eyes of her mother, the Wise One. Dorindha resembled her roof-mistress mother, with her more delicate features, fine blonde hair and eyes that resembled the blue Waste sky. The two had been close growing up, despite the ten years between them. Dorindha had wanted to be Far Dareis Mai ever since seeing Narys wedded to the spear. Being spear-sisters was even better than being second-sisters and they had often spoken of saying the words that would make them first-sisters as well.

Dorindha studied the man furthered. He was tall, compared to other wetlanders and powerfully built. With dark hair and dark, almost black eyes. Both the Sword and Dragon gleamed from his coat collar. It had something to do with rank, as far as she understood. Not much was known about the Black Tower. He was barely a man, Dorindha estimated that the Asha'man was not much above her own age, seventeen. "What is his name?" She asked her second sister.

Narys snorted, "He is Jarn Merril. He keeps asking to be called Jarn though."

Dorindha nodded. Wetlanders did like to be called by only half their name. It was an intimacy she wondered at occasionally. She nearly started at the sound of her sister banging on her leather buckler; then blushed with shame. No one had noticed her jump like a rabbit, but it was just one more reminder she was newly wedded to her spear.

At the sound of the spear on buckler, Narys's kin moved around Jarn Merril in a circle. He showed no fear, just calm arrogance. It would be a joy to bring this wetlander down a peg or three, or more.

As one, the Maidens placed their spears at his throat. The man still did not flinch away; in fact, he seemed amused. "What come next?" He asked, curiously, not at all bothered that the spears might shave him if he would take a breath too deep.

"This," Narys was the first to put down her spear and step over to the man clad in black. He smiled in anticipation, then leaned down and gave her a chaste peck on the lips. The watching Maidens hollered and pounded their spears on their bucklers. With a grim amusement, Dorindha moved her spear a fraction closer to his neck.

Then a leathery Maiden called Shaen took her turn. Jarn Merril tried a bit harder this time, but was still rewarded only with a tighter ring of steel around his neck.

Around the circle it went, with no Maiden being pleased with the results. The wetlander seemed eased even when the blades nicked his flesh, in fact, he only grinned wider to himself, was this how madmen were?

Finally it was Dorindha's turn. She stepped up to the man and grinned at her spear-sisters. "Surely you can do better," She told him, "I'd better kisses from my brothers."

Jarn Merril looked very intently into her eyes, where a spark of grim amusement danced. "You wouldn't like it if I would try harder," He told her, "believe me, you wouldn't like it at all."

"Do you kiss that bad?" She mocked him; he looked insulted. "Or does the spears bother you?" He glanced down at the speared and then at her, taking her face gently in both hands, he delicately brushed his lips against hers.

She nearly smiled when her teasing succeeded. But then she shuddered as something raked through her entire body. She was melting in his arms. No, she was flying above the clouds. Stronger than the first time she had drunk too much ousqui. It felt like the first taste of food after days of hunger. She felt like falling and flying together, a sweeter sensation than she had ever known before. It became stronger, almost too much to bear, and stronger still, and then... it died. And she collapsed against the wetlander, nearly sobbing. The spears were taken away from him, she was distantly aware of amazed whispered between her spear-sisters.

Dorindha knew her spear-sisters must be wondering what was going on, but she was aware only of Jarn Merril, excruciately aware of him. She knew he had a slight cut on his thumb. She could feel amusement and something very close to shock in the back of her head."What...what have you done to me?" she panted. "Take it away! Take yourself away!"

"I'm sorry, my dear. I don't know how." he paused, looking confused. "I think I shouldn't have done that."

She punched him hard, below the ribs. And nearly doubled over gasping in pain that wasn't hers. "What have you done?" she demanded. Her spear-sisters hadn't moved, but the mood had changed from festive to dangerous. More than one hand twitched to a black vile.

"I have taken you as a warder, very much like an Aes Sedai and her Warder. You are my Warder now." The man stared at her; arrogance disappeared from him for few moments. "I did gave you a fair warning, though." he grinned at her; arrogant again, then reeled as she gave him a full armed slap across the face. Dorindha clutched her jaw hard, it felt almost identical, his pain, her own. How could she fight him, when it hurt her as well?

"Undo whatever you did!" She commanded in a quiet tone. Her spear sisters spread behind her silently, veiled, ready to kill.

"I'm sorry, girl. I don't think there is a way." Something flashed on his face; he was trying to be sneaky! When his face was a clear mirror of his emotions and thoughts. "There is much honor in being a Warder. Even Aes Sedai have become Warders to Asha'man"

"Wetlanders' honor!" she spat. "I want none of it! You will take me to your leader now! Someone must know how to break this bloody thing."

"As you wish, girl." He shrugged; he didn't seem to care much. He was again unworried. "But I do not think the M'Hael can help you. Or that he would want to." The last was supposed to be to his ears alone, apparently.

"And don't call me girl!" She commanded him, "I've a name!"

"Yet I don't know him." Jarn Merril said calmly. Did nothing break through that shield of tranquilness?

"Dorindha," She told him, what would happen if she put a knife in his belly? "Dorindha, of the Smoke Water Miagoma Aiels." Turning her eyes to Narys, she said, "Spread the word, don't let any maidens get near this... filth, or any of his kind," Jarn Merrill threw his head back and laughed. Glaring at him, she added, "I'll be back as soon as I'll be freed."

A gateway opened above the fountain, with a stone platform within its inky darkness. Jarn Merril stepped onto the edge of it; then held out a hand to Dorindha. "This is the best I can do at the moment, my dear. Come along." Glaring at him, she scorned his hand and climbed into the gateway herself. This fool wetlander would pay for what he had done to her!

As the gateway closed Jarn Merril turn his eyes to Narys: "Don't expect her any timesoon."

"The Dragon Reborn trusted few and little. Yet there were those who gained his full trust. His wives, Elayne, Aviendha and myself, Min. Birgitte, Elayne's warder, his general, Davram Bashere, the few friends he had left, Nynaeve and al'Lan Mandragoran, Matrim Cauthon and Perrin Aybara. Yet Dragon Reborn trusts others too, for a single reason. The dozen Aes Sedai that had sworn to him and came with him into the Dragonmount, to cleanse saidin. Verin Mathwin, Brown ajah, Alanna Mosvani, Green ajah, Merana Ambrey, Gray ajah, Rafela Cindal, Blue ajah, Faeldrin Harella, Green ajah, Bera Harkin, Green ajah, Kiruna Nachiman, Green ajah. Elza Penfell, Green ajah, Nesume Bihara, Brown ajah, Sarene Nemdahl, White ajah, Beldeine Nyram, Green ajah, Erian Boroleos, Green ajah.

Logain, Leane, Toviene and Halima Albar, Eben Hopwil, Narishma and Mierin Jahar, Flinn Damer, Valir Nensen and Arlen Nalaam.

All those who were with him inside the Dragonmount when saidin was cleansed. That event created a loyal group, none that have lived what we've lived could be disloyal to the Light.

Cleansing saidin gained the Dragon the complete loyalty of large number of the Asha'man, although it's important not to underestimate the actions of Logain Albar in this direction. However, this move also cost dearly to the Dragon Reborn. About one third of the Asha'man vanished that day, and for a long time, none knew their fate. Another result of the day was Nemesis. The woman, at the time named Ilyena, appeared about two day after the cleansing, when we were all celebrating; and caused a commotion that nearly destroyed everything the Dragon Reborn ever built. Her actions were certainly to be suspected, from the very beginning, when she...

The History of the Black Tower, volume III
By Elmindreda al'Thor
The Court of the Sun
The Forth Age

How many women can truly say that they don't know whatever they had been with a man before or not? Mierin wondered when they arrived in the hall where they had been drinking ousqui in order to forget, she found Nynaeve, Flinn, Eben, Lan, Elayne and Birgitte already there. Birgitte made her remember something, tugged her memories, but shecouldn't really remember what it was. They had been invited, Eben appearing for a moment in their room, looking highly amused at their expressions, to tell them the Lord Dragon means to celebrate the cleansing if he had to use the power to make us all smile, as the Asha'man put it.

They were drinking warm herb wine, and offered her and Narishma to join with a smile. Cleansing saidin had created a kinship between them and a sort of trust nobody and nothing would ever break. Mierin noticed how bad Elayne, Flinn and Nynaeve looked. Elayne's face was still dark, her eyes red, she must have cried, for a long time.

"Have you already tried to touch saidin, Narishma?" Flinn asked quietly. They all have seen the most terrible things, too. She shivered, and Narishma's hand found hers, comforting her.

Narishma shook his head, letting those little bells in his hair tingle. "Not yet. At first I did not have the strength, and now I do not have the courage. I remember how it felt when you putted all of the taint in the prison, Flinn, and it felt so... vivid, so ecstatic, vigorous, snappy, that I am afraid I will loose myself in it once I reach for it. That I will not be able to stop myself from drawing too much."

Flinn nodded in agreement. "I feared the same. I wonder if the Lord Dragon - " His words trailed off when Logain entered the room, as silent as death despite his size. And Leane, Toviene and Halima on his just after him.

Lews Therin and Min and Aviendha entered the room together only few heartbeats later. Min's face lost their constant grin.

Few minutes later, the rest arrived, fourteen women that had sworn fealty to the Dragon Reborn. Of free will, apparently, not something hard to believe, with Lews Therin. And two more Asha'man, that seemed to be incapable of releasing their grins. They seemed to split their face from one end to another.

Narishma smiled suddenly, a grin as wide as on the face of the two Asha'man that just entered; Mierin didn't remember their names. "Beldeine wouldn't like it." He murmured to her ears alone, "No, she wouldn't like it one bit of it!" He stared at one of the Aes Sedai, and held her more tightly. A beautiful Aes Sedai, but Narishma only grinned at her, ignoring the glare the Aes Sedai sent to her, and felt amused and relief at the same time, she would have to talk with that... Aes Sedai ... later.

They sat down together in a common silence, until Lews Therin broke it with few words, "saidin is cleansed." Somehow nobody had the energy to laugh or to cheer.

"Have you reached for it already, my Lord Dragon?" Flinn asked.

Lews Therin shocked his head miserably, "Once, for the barest heartbeat, and it's pulling nearly killed me. I wanted to be together with others when I try again. To be stopped if I loose all control."

"I fear that too," Narishma said from his spot next to her, still holding her hand. His hand was warm; it felt comfortably, natural. It belonged there.

"And me too," Logain added. And the other Asha'man echoed him.

"We used to have lessons in keeping ourselves from drawing too much," Nynaeve said quietly. "But this was parallel in our learning of the True Source on itself. I don't know what would happen if you, who are already experienced in reaching saidin, would experience it without the taint."

"It's too bloody sweet, Nynaeve," Lews Therin said, "I thought about everything, but not this. I never considered the power itself as the greatest risk."

"Maybe we could not stop ourselves," Flinn said somberly. "Maybe we would burn ourselves out. Sweet irony, I assume. To survive the Cleansing only to die from not being able to stop drawing too much of saidin."

"Tell that to the Dark One," Mierin heard Halima saying quietly, "He would enjoy the joke, I died once, I've no intention of dying again."

Mierin felt Narishma's emotions in the back of her head, uneasiness, slight fear, and patted his hand. "We could make a link," she offered. "We could back you off when you are drawing too much. And you can't draw too much in a link. Of course, you men will be the ones in charge, but I think the link would be able to protect you."

She saw the glow of saidar around Elayne and Aviendha appear at the same moment and then it surrounded every other woman in the room save Min and Birgitte. Elayne sighed, "I thought I was so tired that I could never embrace it again. So tired for the rest of my life. Forever unable."

Nynaeve smiled warmly, despite looking like she had slept in her cloths, "I think we've all experienced this. We have all been very, very afraid."

"Fear is what you feel when someone try to stick a dagger through your heart, girl." Halima said acidly, "Fear is what you feel in the storm of battle or on the point of losing control of saidin. What that was, all those things you felt, was pure horror being poured into you, your mind created the visions to fit to that." Mierin could live without the explanation.

She noticed how the woman clutched her skirts tightly. Bravery is not shown by not feeling fear; bravery is when you fight fear down. It was a common saying among the soldiers in the army of the Light, back in the War of Shadow. After today, she knew, none of them would ever say a thing about those nightmares created by the creature she set free and served. She opened herself for the One Power and linked herself with Narishma, with the rest, allowed the flood fill them until the joy of life reached the border of pain.

"What shall we do?" Elayne asked breathlessly, her eyes blurred with a dock of tears. They were tears of joy. She felt the male half inside her, and the men were frozen. And the devastating feeling of joy weren't her feelings. They resulted from the men, and from the link. So much power cried out to be used, had to be used.

Mierin looked at her bondholder. Narishma's face was beaming with joy, with such an expression of ecstasy that she would never forget it. This must be the happiest moment of your life, my bondholder; she thought and couldn't help a smile.

Later, she could never recall who was it that led the circle, maybe it was passed around, and it wasn't truly important; they all led it, in truth. The weaving was complex, and beautiful in it's own way, filling the air around them, Earth and Fire and Spirit.

The floor under their feet began to change, until it had become what they wanted... they stood on a huge form. A circle of black and white, divided by a sinuous line, the walls, the ceiling, were the shining gray, almost silver, three shades from the hair her new body had, the only beautiful thing in her new body.

"Under this sign he will conquer," she heard someone whisper, she did not know who spoke, the Aiel girl, Aviendha, most probably, not a hint left of her hate to the woman.

"The first combining of the male and female part of the One Power in three thousands years that had no created by need and duty." she recognized Elayne's voice. "And we make the ancient symbol for the Aes Sedai. It had to mean something!"

"It does." Min said, "It does." She sounded certain.

"No weapon shall be raise in this room," Lews Therin's voice echoed in the big room. "Nor any violence allowed to enter. And no evil may enter. For as long as this mountain abide." As he spoke, the words appeared, golden against silver gray, on the wall opposing the doors. Then the link faded. The power leaving them, yet the sense of together wasn't gone.

Mierin felt Narishma flooding with emotions he could not control and gave in to the terrible desire to hug him.

Halima clapped her hands, emerald green eyes shining with victory. "Today," She pointed at the symbol marked on the floor, "they name it the ancient symbol of Aes Sedai. Few remember the name it bore when the Hall of Servants still stood." She turned her eyes to Lews Therin, "Name this room Balance, Lews Therin. For the Balance of the Light you took as your banner."

Lews Therin inclined his head in acceptance, "It will be so, then." He said quietly, "The name fit."

"Now that it's done," Halima said cheerfully, "Let's celebrate!" A bottle of ousqui floated in the air toward her and she laughed. "We made it, people. We cleansed saidin!" Her smile widened, "Let's just hope this new age will be even slightly more interesting than the Age of Legends." And this time, they all cheered. They made it. Female or male, in this age and the one he was born in, Eval Ramman remained the same.

For a little while, while she was drinking and celebrating with the people she cooperated with, she could forget the painful memories and the fears. For a little while, she was truly happy. The happiness lasted far less than she hoped.

Lews Therin suddenly gave a start, as if someone pinched him bottom, Min, who leaned on him, drinking a bottle filled with wine, not ousqui stumbled and nearly fell, she held herself barely erect when she scrambled up, "What happened?" She asked, anger and worry in her voice. Somehow, she didn't spill a drop from her bottle. She wouldn't have pinched his bottom, wouldn't she? Not with the rest of them here, surely.

"I felt... something." Lews Therin said, "It felt like a fade's stare." They all stared at him unbelievingly. "Well, I did!" He said, and then his eyes locked on the doors, that opened silently. To reveal a very familiar woman, they all looked at the newcomer.

"I found you," the woman whispered. "At last, I've found you." Lews Therin's cup made a strange sound as it smashed in his hands, sending blood, ousqui and shattered glasses to the floor, Lews Therin didn't seemed to notice.

Mierin recognized her before any other save Lews Therin. That golden hair and those blue eyes, that accursed face... Ilyena! It can't be! Light, let it be anyone but her! She screamed in the depths of her mind, while Lews Therin whispered that hated name. "Ilyena!" With shock thickening his voice.

The woman collapsed to the sound of her name, like a chopped down tree, and fell to the floor. And no one made a move, nor dare breathing. Yet Mierin felt tears in her eyes. She could push the memories away. But this wasn't a dream, she pinched herself twice already, it didn't help, the worst she could think off had became true. And she had no idea what she was about to do.

Asha'man's kisses, Unbreakable promises. - A common saying between the warders in the Black Tower.

It takes a fool or a woman in love to kiss an Asha'man. And the two are one and the same. - A saying in the White Tower.

The worst an Asha'man can do is to steal a kiss. - The Dragon Reborn, private conversations with the M'Hael.

The most important law in the Black Tower states that, "In order for a man to truly be an Asha'man, he needs the Sword, the Dragon, and a wife." Bonding changes the Asha'man, matures them. Calming them down, an Asha'man with a warder cannot ignore his wife, nor can disregard duty.

"An Asha'man must never forget that he's a part of the world. And mustn't be allowed to forget the meaning of the title he's carrying." - The Dragon Reborn, a speech before the Council of the Black Tower.

So far, no Aes Sedai had been fully ready to accept the Black Tower's view of warders, unless bonded. And no single Asha'man had been able to accept the idea of warders not taking part in every area of the Aes Sedai's life. That is, despite some of them that had been taken warders to Aes Sedai.

Despite using the same words, and few common attributes, there is little that resemblance between the Asha'man's bond and Aes Sedai's one. The weave used in the Black Tower to bond was originally developed to do just what his name implies, to prevent the Asha'man's wives from running away, and the bond, of course, stand in the very heart of every Asha'man existence, and hence, in the very heart of the Black Tower itself.

The History of the Black Tower, volume IV
By Elmindreda al'Thor
The Court of the Sun
The Forth Age

"Have you heard what happened, Amelin?" Lyandra Anshar blasted into Amelin's rooms, her hair was hanging lose and her green silk dress more than a bit wrinkled. She always looked like this, even moments after wearing a new dress.

Amelin looked up from the book she was reading, smiling at her friend, "Nice to see you, Lyan. What should I have heard?"

Her friend fell down on Amelin's bed and laughed. "Oh, you and your reading! When are you going to take a look at the real world?" She grabbed the book from Amelin's hand and read the title. "Reason and unreason, by Herid Fel. Philosophy, Amelin, you?"

Amelin stood up from her bed, smoothed her blue dress and asked impatiently: "Why don't you just tell me what happened?" If Lyandra was the very symbol of chaos, Amelin was always neat. Lyandra said once that she can stumble head over heals the entire length of the dirtiest heal one can find, and she would stand up with not a wrinkle in her dress. Amelin took it as the compliment it was.

"Oh, yes." Lyandra chuckled charmingly. Her blond, nearly white, curls danced on her shoulders when she shook her head. "I almost forgot... Well, the Asha'man have gone mad. They are raiding the city."

"What?" Amelin exclaimed. "But I thought they were in Cairhien." So rumors placed them, together with the Dragon Reborn, Lyandra was the best source for rumors and gossip in Caemlyn Amelin had ever met. A week ago Lyandra claimed that the Dragon Reborn had gone mad or died, ruining Cairhien entirely, the city, not the country. People couldn't keep their mouth shut near Lyandra, or so it seemed.

"Well, they aren't, and they are all over the city. Didn't you hear the noises from outside?" Lyandra rolled on her back, and looked at Amelin from a tilted position. She took a long breath and continued: "Anyways, my sister said it wasn't that bad, because when they are kissed, the madness will vanish. And they aren't killing everyone, just laughing and shouting and... haven't you even looked outside your window last night? The skies burned!"

Amelin raised an eyebrow. "I was at my library, Lyandra. Are you sure you're not telling a fairy tale or something? Insane men that can channel... that have to mean another Breaking of the World." The idea frightened her so much that she shivered. Lyandra just shrugged, she couldn't accept the idea of worrying about the tomorrow; she lived the moment with endless energy and passion.

"No! No, it's true!" Within a heartbeat Lyandra stood next to her and took her at her wrist. "Come and take a look outside, in the city. They are everywhere! And I heard that some of them are really handsome and cute."

"And it should be our duty as nobility of Caemlyn that we take their madness away, isn't it?" Amelin felt how a grin appeared on her face. The idea was certainly interesting, most of Lyandra's were.

Lyandra's blue eyes were sparkling. "Oh yes. Our duty and pleasure." She giggled shortly and then all but pulled Amelin with her, out of her rooms, out of the house, to the streets. It did not take Amelin long to run along with her friend, trying to find one of those cute Asha'man. It was two hours to sunset, and Amelin wondered how she could have missed last night's events, the library had no windows, but still, the noise was shocking, creature made of fire fought in the skies, and the skies themselves seemed uncertain if to remain blue, so many colors were there that her eyes began to ache when she tried to see them all in once, instead she concentrated on each one at its turn, a red Trolloc gnash his teeth in the skies, and then it held a flower in those huge hands, the last place she would have expected to see such tender thing. The Trolloc turned pink, and the flower grew rapidly, then there were a dozen of them, and a hundred, and then a thousand or more, red and blue and white and purple and yellow, and a huge one, twice the size of the Lion Palace, dominated the skies in its black.

Lightning stroked from clear skies where clouds shaped into human forms fought each other with hate marked on their face, most of them females, large number of them unclothed. A storm of green lightning hit the Lion Palace, and she watched fearfully, expecting the ancient building to fall apart, each lightning was the as wide as the oak that had been planted in her house's garden by the Ogiers, before the Trollocs war. But the palace only shined greenly for a few moments, not one stone falling. A firewall a mile wide appeared in the skies, formed itself into a hawk and flew above the city, its call surged in their ears. "It would have worth it, to live in the Breaking, just to see that!" Lyandra exclaimed. "I don't think I will ever get tired of that. It's... beauty."

"Indeed," Was all Amelin could say, and that was to say the least, taking her eyes from the skies was hard, but she turned her eyes to the street they were standing in, even Lyandra, who saw all that last night and as she came to her house, stood with her mouth gaping like some country girl that never saw a place that had never seen any place bigger than her village. But watching people's reactions always fascinated her, the streets weren't empty, as she half expected to find. But full of people, she saw many that stared at the skies in awe and fear, but they watched it still. And every store was open, a girl no more than seven run by them, holding a globe of green light the size of her head. Joy spread on her face. Silently she touched Lyandra's shoulder and pointed at half a dozen Aiels, in the cloths they all wore, no sense of fashion, they had. None of the Aiels moved a muscle, and their soft boots float at least a foot from the ground.

Lyandra nodded and then pointed at far more interesting sight, a short man, a Cairhienin, by his face, clad in black, the first she have seen wearing black today. Couple of maidens walked behind him, each at least a hand taller than he was, veiled. No wonder, Aiels and Cairhienins despite and scorned each other. The man turned his head to say something to them, maybe he was trying to calm them, but, if anything, it made them walk more rigidly. The three passed through the crowd like it wasn't there; it split before them, the three walked in a bubble of empty space.

"The only time I've seen people do that is with White Cloaks!" Lyandra said, and giggled, "I wonder what they would think about it?"

"The Asha'man or the Children of Light?" Amelin asked, "Their reaction would be the same, I assume, rage. And they will be even angrier knowing that the other side is just as angry for this. Neither would like the comparison." White Cloaks despite the very idea of the One Power. Claiming that Aes Sedai would ruin the world again, Amelin had no need to guess much about what they would have to say about the Asha'man.

"I think he's taken already, Amelin." Lyandra said, "We should find one that is not taken already."

"He was too short to be cute," Amelin noted, "And I don't think that channeling make a person cute, you do remember Elaida, don't you? She is as uncute person as I've seen."

"Elayne can channel," Lyandra said absently, "And I've heard she had got the Dragon Reborn to herself. Do you think she kissed him?"

"Oh, Light!" Amelin groaned, sometime Lyandra's ears caught too many rumors, and she enjoyed pretending she believed them all. "Let us just find an Asha'man and kiss him! I don't believe that particular rumor, even if the rest is true. Elayne has too much sense to get involve with the Dragon Reborn; mother met him and she said that he was the coldest and hardest man she had ever man she had ever met. Do you really believe that man is capable of love? Elayne isn't fool enough to believe him if he would tell him he loves her, he only wants to control Andor."

"There is other possibilities, Amelin." Lyandra said, her eyes searching the crowd for black clad man, "Elayne might have decided that it's her duty to do anything to save Andor. And if that means that she has to bed al'Thor, do you believe she wouldn't do that?" Despite her behavior, Lyandra was no fool. The thought was unpleasant; Amelin knew Elayne well, before she was sent to the White Tower, there was little the woman wouldn't do for Andor. The same went for her and Lyandra as well, as Amelin well knew. If, to save Andor, she had to bed with a Trolloc she would do so, and Lyandra too.

"I don't like this," She muttered loudly. Andor must come before everything else, dear. She remembered her mother's favorite saying. And, There is no need to like what you do when duty is the reason for your actions, Amelin; there is only the need to do what is required of you to do. Her father always said when she complained that her duties are extremely unpleasant. At the time, it was going to a dinner at the Lion Palace, not a week after she and Elayne had the most terrible fight possible. The lesson was well remembered, and Amelin knew that Lyandra had had almost the exact experiences. They didn't talk about it, an unpleasant subject to say the least, but no talking was needed, one day they would lead their houses, she would be High Seat of House Taravin, and Lyandra would be the High Seat of House Anshar. They didn't talking about it, no talks were needed.

"Neither do I, Elayne is our friend." Lyandra said somberly. "But there is nothing we can do about it now. You're taller than I am; can you see anything black? I want to find a cute one, Amelin. And think, we are going to kiss someone to sanity!"

"I don't think I've ever done that," Amelin told her dryly, "Most often, the result should be reversed." Kissing takes their madness away? Oh Light, I will never have such a good opportunity to kiss a man that can channel, Amelin thought, half amused, half serious. It would be the most exciting adventure in their life, although something in the logic that directed them was a bit obscure, to say the least. They could think of reasons why not kissing an Asha'man later, after they would kiss one, a cute one.

For one moment she thought about Mefil, the baker's boy, and the kisses in the darkness until her father, Lord Sheraen of House Taravin, found out, and chased the boy away. She had never seen Mefil after that but once, when his black eye and the bruises on his face were about to start healing. I am sure that father will understand this time... she told him then. Laughing, she followed her friend, who was just as enthralled as she was. It was Lyandra who taught her never to be worried about things she could do nothing about. And Mefil and her kissed when she was fifteen only. For some reason, stolen kisses were much more pleasant than other kisses.

It did take quite a long while before they found a cute one on a little square in one of the garden the Ogier created close to the palace wall. They have seen others too, five of them, but one was far too older for them, old enough to be their father and more, and other was simply... unattractive, not that he was ugly, just short of it, with mouth too wide to his face and nose far too small. The third was obviously drunk, and he hadn't washed lately, twenty feet away, they could clearly smell him. The forth was taken, a tall maiden stepping next to him, or being dragged by him, it was hard to decide. The fifth could have been cute, if he hadn't two black eyes and a woman dressed in Ebou Dari dress behind him.

They almost became frustrated from the attempts to find a cute, untaken, Asha'man when they found him. He was all alone, sitting at the edge of a marble fountain and played with the water. When he ran his hands through it, it bubbled up in shiny colored lights, floating in the air like soap balls - but these ones really shined like little lights. He laughed as he watched them, a happy laugh full of joy and love for life.

Lyandra and Amelin were hiding themselves behind a house. Once in a while one of them popped her head around the corner to take a look at him. "He doesn't seem insane to me," Lyandra whispered. "More... joyfully."

Amelin nodded as she watched the man in black. He was really cute; the stories were not exaggerated at all. His hair was dark brown, and the lines of his face were almost delicate, so friendly and nice in the light of the bubbles. He did not seem much older than she and Lyandra were. And he reminded her of Mefil. Mefil could enjoy the little things in life intensely; this Asha'man did the same. And the man looked like a country folk, even thought the breech and coat were made of black silk. The only decoration he had was a silver pin on his high collar.

Amelin liked him immediately. "Come on, Lyandra. Let's go talk to him."

Her friend hesitated for a moment. "Well... I don't know if-"

"Now come on! You were the one who told me about this in the first place!" Lyandra looked guilty.

"But what if he is really insane?" She protested.

"Does he look like it?" Amelin asked, staring at her friend with frustration, she could never do it without her Lyandra, it wouldn't be... right.

"Not really." Lyandra said hesitantly.

"Well, then!" Amelin grabbed Lyandra's wrist and pulled her with her just like Lyandra did with her not long ago. She approached the Asha'man firmly, but with every step she took the certainty vanished more. When she finally stood before him, she felt her hands trembling. What if he would kill her? Her mother would skin her alive if she would let herself die.

The Asha'man looked up from the light bubbles and looked at them. "Hello girls," he grinned. "How nice to see you. Are you going to keep me company tonight?"

Amelin felt her cheeks burn, but Lyandra laughed charmingly and let him pull her on the edge of the fountain. "Maybe we are. Tell me, how do you make those bubbles?"

He smiled and a yellow-golden bubble floated between their faces. And two emerald bubbles the size of her fist rose in the air to dance near Lyandra. Soft silvery bubble floated in Amelin's direction. "Weaves of Air and Water, a tiny bit of Fire. It is not that hard to do it. "He was a man that could channel, but Amelin couldn't be afraid of him, she touched the bubble lightly with one finger, slightly afraid it might bite her. It felt just like water, but it shined in silver light.

"You can truly channel saidin? And you aren't mad or anything worse?" Lyandra asked, unaffected by saidin being channeled so closely to her.

He laughed joyfully. Such a warm sound, Amelin thought. "No, I am not mad, and I will not be." Jumping to his feet, another bubble of water rose to join the dozen or so that already floated in the air, this was ten times the size of his head, nearly drying the entire pool; it shifted colors with every heartbeat. "Saidin is cleansed, girls, the taint will not corrupt us anymore."

The news had no affect on Lyandra, she just used the subject to flirt with him, and Amelin was observing him with big eyes. He was so cute. Somewhere, the information registered, her mother should know about it, later. After she would kiss him.

"And what are your names, if I may ask, girls?" He asked after a while. The huge bubble sank back into the pool, colors gone from it, Amelin took the silvery bubble in her hands; she wanted to keep it.

"I'm Lyandra, from House Anshar," Lyandra told him, looking at him in a way that set every man on fire. Lyandra was not that beautiful, she was just charming. And she knew how to use it.

"And I am Amelin from House Taravin."

The Asha'man grinned. "Nobles, the future plotters and rulers of Caemlyn?"

"I guess you could say that, although I think you mistake us for Cairhienin." Lyandra smiled in her sweetest way. Asha'man or not Asha'man, he was still a man.

Amelin decided she would take the next step. They always flirted that way. Lyandra was the flirter, but Amelin was always the one to be kissed first. And she was not any prettier than her friend. Maybe it was because she remained more mysterious than her friend. She laid her hand on his arm and said in a low, warm voice: "And what is your name?"

"Darian al'Falder. I am from the Two Rivers." His eyes were almost black, Amelin noticed. A woman could drown in them.

"Would you like to kiss me, Darian?" Amelin asked, and smiled faintly at him.

"How could I refuse such an attractive offer," Darian laughed, and before she could even take a breath, he pushed his lips firmly on hers and kissed her. The feeling was wonderful, she couldn't remember it being so terrific - her body trembled a bit, it felt like ecstasy, it was like exploding, like merging together with him, she was one with him, and it was so sweet, so sweet, so wonderful and beautiful... the ecstasy reached the edge of pain, crossed the edge, and exploded.

When he let her go, she felt tears in her eyes, and her whole mind and body seemed to be hassled. Panting, she sat on the edge of the fountain. For a moment simply gathering her strength.

As she splashed some water on her face, she could hear Lyandra say: "That must have been a good kiss. Can I have one, too?"

Amelin wanted to say no, you can't! But she did not have the energy. She had lost every last bit of control on her feelings and reality. Light, girl, stop this foolishness! He only kissed you! You can't count the number of times a boy kiss both of you. She spun around when she felt faintly the same feeling of ecstasy returning. Darian was kissing Lyandra passionately, and she felt something... doubling. She felt as if it was her that was kissing Lyandra.

These are his feelings, not mine! She realized. I feel what he feels! How is this possible?

When he let go of Lyandra, her friend suffered even worse than she did. She gazed at the man with glazed eyes, softly moaning. She nearly fell as she tried to seat next to her on the pool's edge. "What have you done?" she hissed at Darian, no longer thinking he was cute. "What have you done us?"

Darian stared at her in amazement, "I kissed you, just as you asked!" He said, "That was... not all." He gaped at nothing. And slowly he sat himself on the fountain near them, his face a mask of stunned shock.

Lyandra's eyes were dazed as she spook, "What more have you done save kissing us?" He used the Power! Amelin thought angrily, it wasn't fair; it was the best kiss she had ever had, and now she had no chance to get more. She didn't want to be kissed with the power.

A long silent came from him, broken only by heavy breathing; she was glad of that, he did tried. "I... I... took you as..." he stopped to swallow hard, his face a mask of disbelief. "As warders, the Light burns my soul! I took you as my warders!"

It wasn't until Min nearly fell to the floor that Narishma focused his attention on the Lord Dragon. He was busy staring at Mierin. And trying to ignore Beldeine's eyes, he had been told that he had disturbing stare. Beldeine could give snakes lessons in glaring. And the only time he stared back at her, Mierin felt... betrayed, although he couldn't understand why. It was Beldeine that chased him, not the other way around, and not even leaving her hanging above a pit a mile deep for four hours changed her mind. She didn't interested in him as a human being, he was simply an Asha'man, and she was eager to prove she wasn't afraid of Asha'man.

"I felt... something." Rand said, "It felt like a fade's stare." That was all the explanation he offered, and his eyes seemed to be searching for something, something that might attack him. "Well, I did!" He snapped at Elayne's direction, the woman looked at him with eyes wide with shock.

Mierin's hold on his wrist tightened, it tightened enough to leave a bruise. She was surprisingly strong for such small woman. "What happened - ?" He began to ask, and then he saw the woman. Very tall woman, with golden red hair the color of the sun in a clear day, her hair reached her waist and gather in one long braid. She was dressed in a ruffled green dress, in a style unfamiliar to him. Blue eyes scanned the room, until they laid on the Dragon Reborn. "I found you," the woman whispered. "At last, I've found you."

Narishma glanced at Elayne, he was right, the two women looked like sisters, except that Elayne had no sisters. Maybe a cousin, the woman that entered was only few years older than Elayne, but easily as beautiful.

The Dragon's reaction to the sight of the woman could be only described as deep shock. The cup he held in his hand, thick green glass, shattered. He didn't even seem to notice that he was hurt. "Ilyena!" He whispered, stunned.

As if the name was a sign, the woman collapsed. A horse, black as night and big enough to be a warhorse stepped through the door. No one moved when the animal snort and bent its head to push the woman on the floor, as if it was trying to wake her. How that woman reached here? And the horse, for that matter!

A short man in cloths in Cairhienin fashion rushed into the room, "Ilyena Sedai?" He said, kneeling near the unconsciousness woman, "Are you fine, Lady?"

Eben stared at him, and mouth silently a joke they shared, "Nothing should surprised you around the Dragon Reborn!"

"This is the first time I've seen any such thing!" Varil muttered, coming closer to him, nearly an hour after the woman entered the room and caused more commotion than a horde of raging Trollocs.

"You've not been around the Lord Dragon long enough," Narishma told him with a smile, Nynaeve, who still stood only because of Lan's support, held her stomach and glared at the black horse,bound with air. Nynaeve knew nothing about war-horses, apparently.

"Indeed," Varil agreed, "I begin to wonder whatever it was worth it, going to the Black Tower."

Narishma glanced at him, the man was full with saidin to bursting, as he himself was, and everything was worth it. He said as much, glaring at the man, when his attention was distracted.

"My Lord Dragon," Flinn said, making Rand's head turn. "She is waking." The Dragon Reborn's head turned; he was questioning the man that came with Ilyena. By his face, he was ready to skin the man if he would hesitate a heartbeat before answering. The man felt it, and talked as quickly as he could. No one save those gathered in the room knew about the Cleansing, and Rand was very... specific with the man.

The man, who claimed his name was Der Cal, stood rigid, trying to flinch away from flows of Air that held him as surely as any stonewall. He claims to know nothing whatsoever, only following the unconsciousness woman to here because she wanted him to.

Mierin divided her eyes between him and the woman on the floor. Anger and fear battling inside her, her eyes could bore holes in steel. She was that way since he had to order her not to try to kill Ilyena. He could understand the anger, yet not the fear. She loved Rand al'Thor no more; he knew it for a fact. What reason she had to fear. No, it went beyond fear, beyond anger, fury and horror, or something even stronger.

Mierin weren't the only one glaring, Min and Aviendha stared at Rand with eyes as sharp as knifes. Elayne hadn't taken her eyes from Ilyena for a heartbeat, and she was as pale as new snow.

Rand didn't seem aware of them, despite their bond to him. He was too busy questioning Der Cal, and sending guilty looks at the woman on the floor. "Ilyena," Rand said, kneeling beside the golden hair woman. His voice was pained. For some reason, Min, Aviendha and Elayne looked at if they were stabbed, straight in the stomach.

The woman's eyes opened slowly; she stared up at the man kneeling behind her, "Lews Therin?" There was question in her voice.

"I... I'm Lews Therin." Rand said, and something flashed in his eyes, it was all he had time to say before he was thrown away, smashing into a wall. The woman scrambled to her feet, Mierin's anger seemed to melt away, a shocked, yet pleased expression on her face. She moved toward him, forgetting her hostility to him.

"Why, Lews Therin?" The woman asked as she scrambled to her feet. Her voice quiet and deadly, a lightning strike, the size of a small tree, straight toward Rand. The man, still shocked, couldn't protect himself. Narishma wove Air and Fire, forming a shield; he saw other shields, felt his shield touching others, shields that he couldn't see.

"Don't hurt her!" Rand shouted as he rose to his feet. A shield surrounded him and the fair-hair woman, a weave Narishma never saw anything even slightly similar to. Hindering any from reaching them, whatever with the True Source or any other way, Narishma studied the weave closely; it seemed, very... handy.

The weave might have stopped them from interfering, but it hindered neither sight nor hearing. And Narishma cursed his lack of knowledge in the Old Tongue. He wasn't aware that the Lord Dragon had such control in the Old Tongue. All he could understand were few words here and there.

Ilyena's face seemed to be carved from a rock, if rock could be beautiful and angry at the same time. While Rand's face were still pale as he face her. Kinslayer was a word he recognized, and Dragon, and something about oaths given that had been broken, death was also a word that repeated more than once, along with betrayer and love. And what seemed like a list of names, that Ilyena delivered in a voice as flat and cold as death itself. And each name landed like a whip or Rand. Yet he seemed to become colder at the same time.

Ilyena did most of the talking; with Rand trying to put a word here and there, yet she didn't seemed ready to let him speak. Weaves of saidin moved constantly in the air, slashing at something her couldn't see, Ilyena's weaving; no doubt, trying to kill him.

It had to be stopped, somehow, the woman, Narishma could hardly believe that she was named Ilyena, after Lews Therin's long murdered wife. Or that she was that wife. But one thing was clear, she obviously didn't know Rand al'Thor well, or she would have chosen her ground more carefully. His eyes darkened quickly. But something else caught his attention before he could do anything about it; Mierin's face, they... beamed with joy. And she leaned against him, wrapping an arm around his waist as if she belonged there, which certainly she did, in any other moment but this. "What are you so happy about?" He demanded to know, but even in his anger. He still couldn't make himself push her away.

"Nearly four thousands years I've been waiting for this very moment, Jahar Narishma." She told him in a serene tone, yet she all but bouncing on her toes! She didn't look at him, she was too busy staring with obvious pleasure she didn't even bothered to hide. "It might have worth dying. You've no idea how much trouble I've passed to cause the slightest breach between those two. And now..." She simply nodded, nothing more was needed. Ilyena didn't sufficed herself with simply talking,

Flows of Air and Fire, woven just so, hit the air constantly, like sharp knifes hitting straight at their target. "How strong is she?" He asked quietly. And for the first time since the barrier around the Lord Dragon and Ilyena Sunhair was placed, he stared at the others gathered in the room. Rand's warders were pale, wives, though for some reason the man didn't bothered to tell them about this little trap hole in the bond. The only answer Rand was ready to give him was a distant murmur about men not putting their neck on the headsmen's block with of their own free will. It made no sense to Narishma. Save himself, he could hardly name a single of Asha'man that had openly admit to his warder that the bond held no difference than marriage. And the reasons were obscure at best.

"She is as strong as I'm," Mierin said slowly, her eyes focus on the two. He couldn't believe that he could love his wife more. Couldn't accept the idea of lying to her. Why the others did so?

Be the reason to that mysterious behavior as it might be, Rand's wives seemedto be on the edge. And he would wager his soul for a copper that Elayne and Aviendha held saidar, as strongly as they could, for that matter, by the itching of his forearms, every woman in the room did. And all the men were full of saidin to bursting. And even now, he had to fight the source, not only saidin trying to destroy him, a fight that only made him more aware to the life that poured into him with every heartbeat. He had to fight himself too, not to do something with the power. There was a gold mine about three miles below them; he could feel the gold calling him through the stone. He already began to plan the necklace, gold and silver, the silver could be find not twenty miles from him, the Dragonmount was a treasure of valuable metals. Golden roses and silver crests, with the ancient symbol of Aes Sedai in the middle. It would fit perfectly to Mierin's neck.

Narishma glared at nothing, it happened again, he had to put all his will into not using the power, it cried out to be use, so much of the power, every bit he could hold, and he hadn't gained his full strength yet, wilders were strong, very strong, among men, when the wilders had been hunted for three thousands years, the only men with the spark that were still born in this days were all among the strongest to come to the Black Tower.

According to Taim, the Aes Sedai culled out of the human race only the weakest among those who were born with the spark. The rest had time, time to do something with theirs fate. Most of them declared themselves as the Dragon Reborn. They didn't escape the madness, yet they left something behind, only memories sometimes. Yet sometimes, a child, with a promise inborn in him was left, for this generation or for a child a hundred years after the man who was his ancestor died.

But, despite touching his borders already, it wasn't enough, yet he had to keep it as this level alone. A bit more, and he would burn out. Strangely, it was the thought of might happen to Mierin that kept him from drawing too much. Without her, he might have been ready to burn out, just for the sheer joy of the power.

"Stop this, Narishma." Mierin said, not taking her eyes from Rand and Ilyena, or moderating her grin, for that matter. "It's dangerous." He snorted, as if he didn't know this.

"So is your expression," He told her, "And what would you gain by creating a rift between the two of them?" She turned to stared at him, no longer smiling.

"Sometimes, Narishma," She said coldly, slowly, "it's better to hold you tongue. In few words, you've ruined a moment I've been waiting ages for, literally."

"What do they say?" He inquired his warder, ignoring her anger.

"She didn't like dying," Mierin said absently, still glaring at him, she didn't seem aware of answering him, "And she didn't like him murdering their children and friends, back in the end of the War of Power. She listed every one of them for him." She shook her head slightly, confusion felt strongly in her, "She sound nothing like Ilyena that I knew." For some reason, the last was full of relief.

Elayne, Min and Aviendha grunted at the same moment, turning his attention to the tall man and the golden hair woman. The reason for the surprised gasps from Rand's warders was obvious, the man stood rigid, somehow looking even taller than he usually was. The shield that surrounded the two broke. And the Lord Dragon spat something in the Old Tongue, harsh and cold and hard and grim! He finished shouting, and stood for a moment, fists tight, breathing hard, then a gateway, leading to utter darkness open behind him, he strode through, none had chance to take any action whatsoever to stop him before the gateway close behind him.

The look on Mierin's face was of utter shock, "What did he said?" He asked softly, his voice just barely reaching her ears.

"I've married you, indeed, and loved you." She whispered, as thought she didn't believe what she was saying, Ilyena looked like she had just reached the bottom of a pit she was falling forever in. "There are no words strong enough to give you the smallest understanding of how I felt when it became clear to me thatit was I was the one who killed you! There is nothing I can say that would make you see how it's to live with such horror on my conscience! Yet, if I'll have to do the same again, knowing the price, I would! A thousand times again! And may the Light burn me for it!"

Tears shined on Ilyena face, and then the first sob came. Another followed, and another, until the woman collapsed on the floor, her face between her hands, sobbing helplessly, miserably, sobs that seemed to be torn from her very soul.

Narishma stared at the woman for a moment, his eyes turned to Valir and he nodded toward the woman sharply. He couldn't do anything for the woman himself; he couldn't even let himself be in the same room with Ilyena without Mierin's temper flaring at him. Valir nodded and moved. And Narishma moved his eyes throughout the room, Elayne, Min and Aviendha looked almost as bad as Ilyena was. Nynaeve stared at the scene; opened month, eyes wide, she clutched to Lan's hand like he was the last real thing in the world. Logain paid no attention to the crying woman, He was too busy arguing in low voices with Halima, the raven-hair woman face him coldly, and Narishma began to wonder whatever the man had as much problems taking care of Halima as he had with Mierin. Maybe he should ask the man for some advices. Of course, that the man had three warders didn't say anything to his favor. Only madman would take more than one, and any but a fool would choose carefully. Glancing over his shoulder to Mierin, he sighed inwardly. He was ready to admit he was a fool, but at least she wouldn't bore him. His eyes slide over to the Aes Sedai, save Beldeine, who still had her eyes on him, they were talking quietly among themselves. Varil took care for Ilyena, pulling her to her feet gently and talking to her in a soothing tone, and all that time holding the strongest shield he could weave between him and her. Varil was very careful, always.

"Eben," Narishma said, walking the small distance between him and the younger Asha'man, "Could you take care for the Aes Sedai? I think that this... party is over." Eben shot him a hard look; the man gained the dragon before he himself did.

"Beldeine is there," Eben noted finally, "Maybe I should let you do it, just to see what she will do to you. She didn't like it, when she heard about... Mierin."

"Since when do I care what Beldeine think, Eben? Or you do?" Narishma asked coldly. "If I'm lucky, she might develop interest in you." The man - despite his age, none of the Asha'man that had came to Domani well were boys anymore - laughed sourly.

"Light save me from that," He muttered, and turned to Aes Sedai, "and from all women as well." Eben added before he began moving. There were many stiff necks and hard eyes, yet the Aes Sedai left the room.

Before they were all outside the room, Narishma caught Beldeine's arm, "I'm already taken, Aes Sedai." He made his voice frosty and hard, not the easiest thing to do, when all he wanted to do was to laugh until he would cry, or to dance until he couldn't hold himself up. "Find yourself another prey to hunt." Without waiting for a replay, he turned back to Mierin. And all in all, Mierin's eyes met his, and even without the bond he could see jealously and fury and betrayal battling inside her. Light! And all he did was talking with Beldeine!

Leane tried to hide a yawn behind her hand as she entered the main room of the quarters she share with Logain, Toviene and Halima, the morning after they celebrated the cleansing of saidin. They have scattered not long after that woman entered. The last she had seen, the woman was still sobbing helplessly with Valir trying to soothe her. It was hard not to feel sorry for her; yet Leane had tried, with Nynaeve's help, for hours, to comport Elayne and Min and Aviendha.

The Dragon's three warders were not far from breaking into tears themselves. Elayne simply closed herself in a shield of cold arrogance, when anyone could see that she was the one who was hurt more than the two others. And Aviendha seemed to be willing to break anything she would lay her hands on, but especially the car'a'carn. Min was... she didn't seem to be fully there at all.

They have agreed at last, that Rand must return on his own accord, they couldn't go for him; it was something he had to solve himself. That was the stage Leane left.

She hoped the three would be fine, but she had others worries too, more important then the three's sadness. The Dragon Reborn must be in the Last Battle. The man couldn't let himself disappear so. She was still troubled by those thoughts as she examined the room; Logain sat on a carved wooden chair by the stone table in the center of the room, staring at the air just above the center of the table. A strange mix of wires that created the outline of a cube in red and green and blue wires hanged in the air, the cube was about size of a Trolloc's head, Logain's eyes focused on the cube. It turned around slowly, and inside the cube; Leane caught more flashes of color.

"It is just something to busy him," Halima said defensively, she sat on a chair opposing Logain, and held a spoon in one hand, she use it to point at the cube. "It wouldn't harm him, it would take him few hours at least to solve it, and it should keep him from troubles."

"What is this?" Leane said, taking a seat and sending a hand to grab the tray that lay, untouched, near Logain.

"That is my breakfast." Logain muttered.

"That was your breakfast," Halima grinned at him, then turned her eyes to Leane, "you might call it a riddle, it is... was used to practice the power." Today the woman wore a dress that didn't expose half as much as the woman usually seemed to enjoy exposing. Leane had the same discovery few weeks ago when she found out that every Domani dress vanished from her cloths chest. And at the time she surrounded hundreds of Aes Sedai, she thought Logain's jealously was sweat, although she made sure that he would understand how angry she was on him. And never mind that it was risking his life for something that foolish and not for being so jealous with her. And, just to prove a point, she made sure she would have new dresses just like the he took. "It gives him something to do, and there is little chance he can get into any trouble with this weave. He can't seem to control the desire to do something with the source."

Leane stare at the plate she stole from Logain, she had to go back to the White Tower soon, suddenly she wasn't as hungry as she had been before, she had others duties save being near Logain, as pleasant as it may be. Halima laid the bowl of stew she was eating on the table and stood, there was nothing left in it, and it wasn't a small bowl. "I would need you and Toviene today, Leane." She said as she walked toward Toviene's room. "I think it's time to build my network." There was an eager light in the woman's eyes.

"Let Toviene sleep as much as she wish," Logain said, not taking his eyes from the spinning cube, a riddle? Leane wondered, then pushed the thought away, she could ask Halima about it later.

"Why?" Halima stopped to challenge him, "I need her, and I doubt if she could be of much help while she is still snoring." Leane took a bowl filled stew, rabbit stew, by the smell, and leaned back in her chair to enjoy the show. Halima and Logain always fought each other, like two cats in a sack.

"You won't need her," Logain repeated calmly, "You're not going anywhere. Not unless I can keep an eye on you. And Toviene doesn't snore, you do." The fool didn't even looked at Halima.

Halima hissed, Leane wondered what it was that awoke the woman's anger; suddenly she looked taller than she really was, more dangerous. The bowl of stew that Leane held flew from her hands, just when she was about to take the first bite. Logain was too busy staring at Halima's riddle to notice the flying bowl. Yet he certainly noticed it when the bowl, filled with hot stew, crushed into his head. "I was eating that!" Leane exclaimed, holding an empty spoon. But she smiled despite her empty stomach.

"I will make you another," Halima said without taking her eyes from Logain. The cube stopped spinning, And Logain jump to his feet, his chair fell back, cursing he tried to clean himself of the stew, all this while glaring at Halima hard enough to pull down a horse twenty feet away from him. He seemed too angry and surprised to think reasonably. "What do you think about an Asha'man stew? I know an excellent recipe for a mule's brain." Halima took a step forward and raised her hand, delicate fingers tightening around something Leane couldn't see. Logain's eyes widen slightly, and he threw himself back, a well of fire springing from the floor, where he stood a moment ago, it linger there for a heartbeat, and died.

Leane stopped smiling, taunting Logain was fine, throwing tempers was fine too; trying to kill him wasn't. "Halima," She began, but the woman paid her no mind. Logain regained his balance when Halima made another step toward him; he was pulled to the air and floated three feet in the air, surprise gone from him, replaced by cold anger. As soon as the surprise was gone he was released, and somehow, he managed not to fall as he crushed into the floor.

"What gave you the idea that I need you to keep an eye on me?" Green eyes flaring and face twisted in fury, she still looked like any man's dream. Leane took back her seat, and grasped a piece of bread with some loaf, Halima wouldn't harm Logain, not too much, at least, and he deserved what he got. She couldn't explain for her life how she knew it. But she did. "What gave you the idea that you can keep an eye of me? Or that I will allow it?" Logain stood, face dark, anger becoming fury.

Halima reached out as if to touch him, thin streams of fire flaring from her fingers. Logain didn't move a muscle, but the flames stopped a foot from him, "That is enough, Halima." Logain said through clenched teeth, Leane could feel him trying to control his anger.

"No!" The woman said, and a flash of Light stronger than the sun blinded Leane, she embraced saidar blindly and wove a shield of Air around her, just to be on the safe side. "It's not enough, not until I will shove some sense into that load of rubbish you call a brain. And I don't care if I'd to use a hammer."

Logain done nothing Leane could see, but Halima's eyes widen, her jaw was set, and she stared at Logain in such a way that Leane doubt if a herd of horses could move her an inch from her decision. "What are you so afraid of, Logain?" Halima asked, her voice too mild. Leane wished she could see what the two did with saidin. All she saw was the two of them glaring at each other, and the air nearly humming with tense. "I can't run away, you made sure of that. I can't return to the shadow, I can't even want to do this." Logain growled wordlessly, "Is that too hard on you, darling?" Halima asked, voice pouring honey, "I can make it harder, honey."

"I can stand whatever you would throw at me," Logain said, "I've already proven you this in the White Tower, or have you forgotten that?"

"I was limited then," The woman replayed, "Some Aes Sedai might have suspected something was happening if I would have tried to kill you with the power, I would have to use few things that would have torn the very heart of Tar Valon. There was nothing I could do beyond trying to sever you."

Logain took a step forward, and another, it seemed to Leane that he had to fight something to do so. His movements slow, as if he was walking inside water. "Release saidin, woman." Logain commanded, shaking with fury.

"What is going on in here? I was trying to sleep." Toviene demanded, gliding into the room gracefully, her eyes were directed to Logain, Leane remembered Toveine from her novicehood, the woman's eyes seemed able to probe into one's very soul, exposing every sin and secret you wish to hide, it seemed to affect men especially.

"The children played," Leane answered in Logain's place, he was too busy taking deep breaths and staring at Halima as if he wished he could kill her. The woman simply crossed her hands below her breasts and grinned at him, never mind that the grin looked more like a show of perfect teeth. By her expression, Halima would be overjoyed to go for Logain throat with her teeth alone.

"Again?" Toviene asked, rising an eyebrow at Logain, "Can't the two of you, for a change, pass an hour without arguing." Toviene's voice was the same she used for a novice who broke a law, but here eyes rested on the overturned chair Logain sat on, with a broken bowl and what remain of a stew that smelled just like she loved it. The rest of the stew was spread on Logain's head and shoulders, near the chair there was a black circle two feet wide, with no doubt what caused it. Toviene gave her accusing look, what had she done, "And why couldn't you stop them?" The woman asked. "Before they would move from destroying furnishing to killingpeople."

Leane shrugged, "They are enjoying it too much, I didn't want to interrupt the game."

"Enjoying?" Logain said coldly.

"A game, Leane?" Halima shouted, "You think this is a game? A game would be to skin him alive, then healing him, only to skin him again, and doing so until he beg for mercy." Logain gave her a sharp look she didn't seemed to notice, Toviene swallowed nervously. "This is no game." Her attention passed to Logain, "I don't care what you think, you arrogant fool whose mother bedded with goats! I've a work to do, and I am about to do it! Toviene, change into something more suitable and eat something! I don't think I can't stand the company for a long time. Not without turning argues into battles." It was the first time that Leane notice that Toviene wore only her shift. Logain had the expression of a boy whose toy had just been taken away; he noticed it long before, no doubt. He seemed unaffected by Halima's words. Toviene blushed like three suns and hurried to her room, Halima's amused laugh chased her.

Halima looked at her dress; the most decent dress Leane saw her in, "The first thing I'm about to do is to visit a seamstress." She murmured to herself as she trotted toward her room.

"Work?" Logain snorted, "Seamstress!" Halima turned her head at him as he sank into a chair, "Women!" He muttered loudly, disgustfully. A strange expression crossed Halima face. Then she turned her back to him, just as the chair he was seating broke apart. He turned his head up, seating between the remaining of the chair, looked at the ceiling, and moaned loudly, desperately, "Why me, Light? Why me?"

Close to six Asha'man out of any ten that had reached the Black Tower before the Cleansing of saidin has at least one warder belonging to Far Derais Mai, the maidens of the spear, and often more. The reason for the large numbers of maidens serving as warders is quite simple:

Soon after the Cleansing, most Asha'man nearly went mad from joy, clouded mind and judgment, they had raided Caemlyn, then, the nearest city to the Black Tower. Nearly two thousands maidens were in the city at the time, unknown to anyone at the time was the fact that saidin had been Cleansed. And the Saldean soldiers that had guarded the city was gone together with the Dragon Reborn when he left to Illian, and remained in that country. And the Lion guard had only begun to re-assemble, as Elayne, the queen, ordered.

The only defense the city had were the Aiels Rand al'Thor had brought with him when he retook Caemlyn and Andor from Rahvin. There couldn't be a doubt that the Aiel assumed that the Asha'man, to the last boy in the Black Tower, had gone mad, yet they went against them. Had a single Asha'man wished so, nothing but charred ashes would have remained from the city. Yet not a single man or woman was that did not deserved it were hurt during the Days of the Black Guardian, as most people commonly name the event.

Despite several occurrences that caused a rift between the car'a'carn and Far Derais Mai, the maidens wish no harm for the Asha'man,who followed the same lead as they did. Yet they had no choice, when they thought they had all gone mad.

The Asha'man, at the time, were incapable of harming anyone and anything, too drunk from drawing saidin, finally cleansed, that all they've done when being attacked was simply to leave their attackers frozen for few hours, harming nothing save the Aiel's pride.

Yet the maidens found another way to distract the Asha'man's attention. There is a game among the maidens of the spear, called the maiden's kiss. The game involved a group of maidens, and a male victim. The maidens' spears are being held close to the man's throat and he's demanded to kiss every one of the maidens. It the man kisses well, they ease the spears a little; if he doesn't... then they push the spear a bit more, to encourage the man to kiss better.

Those of you who are aware of the Asha'man's bonding techniques would be instantly alert to the problem an Asha'man face, playing this game. Asha'man bond by kissing the woman they choose to be their warder, and the woman bonded feels as if every pleasure she'd felt in her life was summed into a single heartbeat, all the light of sun focused into a single moment, when the Asha'man weave the flows, and the woman is being bonded to him, forever.

One can easily argue how much the Asha'man were responsible of theirs action during that time, however, the results were the same. And nearly all of the Asha'man had one warder at least in the end of the Days of the Black Guardians, whatever they had one when the Days began or not. Most of the new warders were maidens, yet no all, Caemlyn was, and is, one of the great cities, and as such, people from all the lands came to the city, for many reasons. The rest of the warders taken at the end of the few days when the Asha'man ruled Caemlyn came mainly from Andor, yet a considerable number of them came from every land, from the Dragonwall to the Aryth Ocean.

Forcing a bond on a woman is considered an action beyond rape, in the Black Tower, and it was forgiven only twice in the Black Tower's history, when Aes Sedai, sent by Elaida, failed to form an attack on the Black Tower, all those Aes Sedai were captured and taken warders. The only second time that forced bonding was ignored was in the Days of the Black Guardians.

However, there can be no doubt that the warders eliminated every thought in the Asha'man's mind about the advantages of having a warder. There methods are worth to be remembered, if we take Hefal's actions...

The History of the Black Tower, volume X

By Elmindreda al'Thor

The Court of the Sun

The Forth Age

Lessa saw the black-coated man walking down the streets, slowly turning. He looked... Not drunk, but so happy that nothing else mattered to him. These Asha'man... They had come to Caemlyn for some reason two days ago, and all of them looked like this. At least that one wasn't throwing fire around or lifting things in the air or setting the skies alight, or any of the other impossibilities she had seen the last two days when the Asha'man seemed to be everywhere she looked for more than five heartbeats.

The Maidens guarded the town... But these Asha'man were too ripe a joke to resist. Her spear-sisters were back a street, playing Maiden's Kiss with one of the Asha'man they had talked into it. This, it seemed, was the only thing that calmed the Asha'man down a bit. For some strange reason, the Asha'man didn't behave at all like any other men she had seen playing Maiden's Kiss. They didn't seem to sober up until after they kissed a maiden or two. Usually that part came when the men had a necklace made of spears.

She had left, though. She wanted to find out what they were doing here and why... And it wasn't likely she would get answers any time soon from the one she left behind, he was too busy kissing. Glancing back, she saw Arolin drop spears and bucklers and wrapping her arms around the Asha'man, the spears around his throat were taken away completely. By the look on Arolin's face, he earned it completely.

She softly walked up behind the black-clad man. Somehow, though, he heard her before she came anywhere close. He had sharp ears. He was alone, as well, and would make a good one to question... But he still wore that ridiculous smile on his face that all Asha'man seemed to wear. Well, she could help him with that.

"Tell me, then. Have you ever played Maiden's Kiss?" It wouldn't be properly done, without any of her sisters, but she just wanted to humble him a bit. At his confused look, she smiled, again. It was always more fun with wetlanders, they didn't knew the game. "I'll show you..." Her spear point touched lightly against his throat. "Now... You kiss me. If it's well enough done, I'll ease off... If not...you'll not need to shave today." Burn the man! His smile widened as she spoke.

She would show him... She put a bit more pressure on the spear-point, and leaned forward to kiss him. But as their lips met... something happened, strange, exotic, feelings, emotions. Like the first time she saw a river, so much water she could hardly believe they all could even exist. It felt like... the first time she tasted an apple. So sweat that she could hardly swallow it, full of water and red as blood. It was everything she liked in the world, smells, tastes, and sights. Every memory of joy and happiness in her life returned to give her some more pleasure. It was... indescribable.

Eldan leaned back, as the spear was removed from his throat. He could still feel saidin, clean at last, rushing through him. He could also feel the woman in front of him, now. The flows he had woven in that moment were of Bonding, and there was no way to release them... He didn't intend to take a warder, but even if he would found a way to break the Bond... he didn't want to do so. The joy of saidin swept him along, and all lesser considerations were lost. She would be more than a fine warder.

"What is your name, fair lady?" He looked at the Far Derais Mai in front of him. She stared at him for a moment, still lost in the feeling, and then narrowed her eyes at him. "I am Lessa, of the Red Ford hold. Who are you, and why are you asking?" She shocked her head as if to shake something from her face.

He smiled, feeling her emotions, guessing her thoughts. He had never had a warder, nor needed one... But she would do well, if any woman could. It felt... strange, to have someone so close to him, and at the same time, it felt right. As if he wasn't truly whole until now, and didn't know what he lacked. "My name is Eldan Delvar. And it wouldn't disappear if you shake your head," He smiled wider, he couldn't control it, saidin was so sweat he almost cried, "You are my Warder, Lessa. And nothing can change that."

She stared at him in shock; he could feel the emotion echoing through the bond. Then, his head rang from her slap. He was just glad she hadn't used her spear, though she gripped it like she wanted to. "I am not..." Her voice dripped with scorn, "...your Warder. And I will not be one, either."

"Can you not feel it?" He gave a gentle tug with saidin to the bond, and she gasped. "We are already bonded, and there is nothing that can be done about that." Almost before he had finished speaking, the spear flashed at his throat. But he still held saidin, and before it reached the target, both it and his Warder were wrapped in flows of Air.

"If I die, so will you." He growled at her. "So there is nothing to be gained from that. You are not harmed, nor will you be." He didn't drop his smile, still feeling the sweetness of saidin untainted.

"You will have nothing of me, if I must kill us both." She spat at his feet.

"Very well then..." He frowned, and stepped backwards. "If you would have it that way." He turned his back on her, and began walking down the street. He grinned as he released the flow that held her. She was still bonded; she could not escape that. All he did was giving her some space to breath, and that was only an illusion. Few things had almost immediate affect on the bond, she would find her way to him; he knew that for sure.

He walked slowly through the streets, drifting at random, sometimes going the game in the skies, channeling just because he could and it was fun. Then, as he passed in front of a corner, a strong hand grabbed him, and pulled him into the dim light of an alley.

It was Lessa; he knew she was following him for the last half an hour. "What have you done? Why can I feel you in my head? Why can I not leave you?" Her words were hissed out. And by her eyes, she was ready to pull a dagger at him.

He stared at her, forcing down a grin, it was saidin; how could a man stop grinning with saidin inside him? With the power being so sweat and clean and wonderful, he couldn't release the smile for his life. "I told you, you are already bonded, and that can not be undone."

She frowned at him. "If I must..." She straightened, to look him in the eyes. She was very tall for a woman, maybe an inch alone shorter than he was. "...I will accept this, then, because there is nothing else I can do." She cut him off as he began to smile wider. "And if you try to take advantage of this, you will find that not all women are as weak as Wetlanders' women you know. There is plenty I can do, short of killing you."

He wasn't about to be intimidated by her words, "As a Warder, that is all I ask..." He extended a hand to her. "If you would come with me?" She glared at him, and stalked forward, out into the street. He could feel... Almost pride coming from her. He grinned, again. She would do well, indeed.

"Absolutely not!" The replay made him blink. "As I said, I accept the bond if I must, a lesson to teach me that there are reasons for laws and customs, but I'll not follow you like a wetlander woman, a dog chasing its master."

"I doubt if you can compare any warder to a dog, but you've a point there," He noted, "I think that I -" He stopped as the surged of fury, having the bond to warn him as she tried to stab him with the shaft of the spear, she was smart enough not to use the blade. All his training was worth the time putted into them. He skimmed back smoothly, moving a leg behind her left foot and tripping her. She tried to stop her fall as he caught her, her back against his chest, his arms locking her hands; she was strong, very strong, yet he was stronger. He gave her a quick kiss on the back of her head, just above that tail of red hair she had.

"I'll leave you for yourself now, Lessa." He said, feeling her becoming rigid,"But I will return to have my claim on you." Releasing her, he stepped back from her, and wove gateway for skimming. He was gone before she could regain the control on herself.

"If I will feel you within a hundred mile from me, you loutish mound of decaying Trolloc's leavings," Halima said frostily, "you will gravely regret it. I neither need nor want your... assistance, so stay away from me, I've no need in an unattractive load of second-hand sheep barf." How could a woman so beautiful own a mouth so vile? But of course, Logain reminded himself, she wasn't really a woman, or she hadn't been. She was certainly a woman now. Of course, she got mad if he tried treating her as a woman, and furious had he dare suggesting that she wasn't a woman.

He looked at her innocently, so he hoped, "What made you think that I would try to join you, dear?" Curses would have little affects on her, but honey names had much more affect on her, and it amused him to no end.

He could feel her control on her temper wavering, and when she regained her composure again, her lips curled back in disgust, "I know you, and it has not been a pleasant experiment."

Logain took hold in saidin and turned his attention to the riddle Halima presented him, it required both speed and delicacy; he could do either, but not both. The cube began to spin; fire and air creating the outline of the cube, seven flows of earth and water were tied inside the cube. The purpose of the game was to untie all the flows without crossing streams with the cube's flows once.

Halima tied the flows as strongly as she could, apparently, and untying wasn't something to be done roughly. He stopped counting the numbers of time he failed, but Halima was right, it was more than useful to gain skill in the power. "Didn't your mother tell you not to lie, honey?" He asked softly, words were his only weapon against her, and he was about to use them if it would kill them both. "You enjoyed... meeting me very much." He growled inwardly as he failed again. And tried again, he would continue until he would get it, or collapse, whatever comes first.

"My mother also told me to go in the Light, you recalcitrant brainless son of a nauseating pureed stable sweepings! Does it seem like I've ever listen to her." She was flushed, but not entirely of anger. He tensed as she took hold of saidin, but she didn't attack him, not directly, at least. He stared helplessly as her flows moved passed through the cube's wires, she untied all seven flows without once the spinning flows who created the outlines of a cube even getting near her flows. "You should practice more," She told him, half amused over his frustration, the other half still furious. She set the riddle again, and tied it up. "When you're done, try solving this," She told him, a pyramid appearing next to the cube, "the rules are the same, but the spinning is faster." And there were two dozens flows. Amusement won fury in the back of his head, and she bared her teeth at him in a wide grin. Could it be done? He wondered, staring at the pyramid.

That was what he remembered from her after she was gone with Leane and Toviene through the gateway. Her first destination was somewhere in Arafel, but she moved away from there in less than an hour.

He could have traced her, of course, but he believed her threats, there was much a woman can do to make a man's life miserable. And he had no wish for Halima to begin researching this field of being a woman. He would have to use the bond to force his will upon her, if needed, he would do so, but Logain disliked very much the need to force his will on her.

Again he tried to work out the riddle, and again he failed, reaching only five untied weaves before his flows touched the surrounding cube. With a curse, he rewove the flows he just untied and began it anew. He had the strange feeling that Halima was standing behind his shoulder and laughing to his attempts. He even looked back, unnerved, but there was no one there. He stared at the door that led into the corridors of the Dragonmount, he was ready to swear that it was close before, and no one opened it.

Shrugging, he rose to close the door, and sat back to continue his effort solving this... riddle.

An hour later he stared at the cube and felt a grin spreading on his face, he had finally manage to do it. Saidin flows in him like the sweetest river, molten life. Before, frustration hindered some of the joy of the power. Now, there was nothing to make him forget the sheer joy of the power. It was so... sweet and pure and full of life and so strong he nearly drowned in it.

That was the reason Halima gave him that riddle to solve. He didn't even looked at the second riddle, it would take weeks of training before he would manage to solve it, and he could remain in those rooms no longer. For some reason it felt slightly... wrong.

From the first time he channeled, when the mayor of his village caught his daughter and him in the barn, to the day saidin was cleansed, saidin was a two-edged blade. Pure ecstasy and pure evil, he never thought it's possible to have the first without the second, but now he had it, and he nearly shock from the feeling.

He opened a gateway, to the Black Tower; he wanted to know how the Asha'man reacted to the cleansing. There would be much feasting; he was ready to bet. And he was more than willing to join the party.

As the sun rose above the distant peaks of the Lion Palace's towers, a wind blew through the streets, stirring the dust and dirt of the day before. The shopkeepers opened their doors, and venders set up their stalls. As some early shoppers meander the streets, a few voices cried their wares. The crowd slowly thickened, people began to shove and push to purchase the first fresh fruits and vegetables of the year. After nearly four days of chaos, the city became quiet, people stared at the skies worriedly, covered by dark clouds, no longer shaped by saidin into every from imaginable. Fire no longer thrust in the air in columns hundred feet tall and ten feet wide. The skies held no longer visions to stare in awe. Lightning no longer flashed in the skies, in every color wished by the Asha'man.

The chaos ended, so it seemed, and the peace returned to Caemlyn. But even as the crowd pressed to get closer to the stalls of wares, people were shying from the few darkly dressed men that marched through the milling throng. The black-coated Asha'man walked through the crowd as if it were not there. Deeply wrapped in calm self-assurance, they radiate death and danger with every catlike move. Their madness were gone, apparently, there was not a single grin on those hard face. The people of Caemlyn couldn't decide what they rather had. The number of Asha'man in the streets was no way near to what it way as the beginning of those days.

But almost every grim faced Asha'man was followed by one or two women, most of them dressed in the drab brown and gray and green clothes, to suited for the wastelands beyond the spine of the world. Grey and blue and green eyes stared down any who dared to smile. Hands hovering, ready to don veils at the slightest chuckle, these women watched for anyone who would dare to attack the black clad man in front of her. Fewer were those who wore dresses, whatever from wool or silk or velvet.

Few in the crowd understood this strange pairing. That so many of the Aielwomen, who called themselves Far Dareis Mai, would follow those men who could channel, without the men doing nothing to stop them was beyond belief. Nor the reason why the other women, those who did not belonged to the maidens of the spears, followed the Asha'man, some in anger, some with reluctant clear on their face, but most walked with a mix of desperation and fury.

Many of the women glared as hard at the back of the Asha'man they've followed as to the people in the crowd. The people of Caemlyn could not figure out if it the women set themselves to watch the men of he Black Tower, or the Asha'man set to watch the women, they guarded each other, that was clear by their expressions, and all of those pairs or threes, and, in rare cases, fours, stayed within five steps from one another.

None dared to stare openly, for pain and humiliation awaited any who gave more than casual notice. The Asha'man were grim as death, and the last few days they have shown their might, in displays no illuminator could ever copy. All that with the tainted half of the One Power, even the Aiels were careful to hold their stares until after they had passed, but there were stares still. Only the Asha'man and the women who walked with them knew the entire story.

One of them were Lashid, red hair and blue eyes, she stared at the man that strode easily two steps in front of her. The crowd opened up for the black clad man, And Kidar Sharden deserve the blacks! Lashid thought furiously, he is nothing but a d'tsang!

And he held her life and fate in his hands! It was so unfair she wanted to scream. Kidar Sharden had explained her, in great details, what he had done to her. Among the maidens, there were few insults worse than to tell a woman that she would put her soul for a bridal wreath to lie at a man's feet. By Kidar Sharden's explanation, that was exactly what had been done to her.

And there was nothing she could do about it!

He forced her to come with, if one can call a simple request forcing. But she had no other choice but to follow. Saidin was clean, so the man claimed. And she was to be his warder, with no way back, and all that because she played maiden kiss!

No doubt the man thought that he might get more kisses from her! She would greet him with steel!

There were no parties in the Black Tower.

Logain sat stunned; he lost his hold of saidin along the story Kimali delivered in a hard voice. His eyes returned again and again to the women who were gathered in the room, Aielwomen, most of them, who stood or sat on the floor, face rigid and eyes hard.

He saw two girls that couldn't have been more than seventeen, both of them clad in silk, talking quietly between themselves, the tall one held a dagger in her hand, but Logain doubt if she truly knew how to use it.

A woman dressed as tavern maid cried softly near them. The maidens were the only ones not showing anger or fear or desperation. "And there are more in the city!" Sora Grady joined Kimali and glared at him. "Not many of the men returned, but every one who did returned with a warder!" Rand sent Sora's husband somewhere; she didn't really know the details. But she was worried about him, "If that man will take another warder..." Sora knew more about the bond than most other warders, being among the firsts to be bond, she knew there would be absolutely nothing she could do about it. Logain glanced at the women, he counted thirty six, and Kimali said that twenty one Asha'man returned to the Black Tower, before telling him again how it all started, when the Asha'man felt the taint fading.

"Where are the men?" He asked Sora, cutting off Kimali, the woman came to the Black Tower following her younger brother, and she was close to sobbing when she described how he returned with two of those Aiel animals, as she put it.

"They are in the training area," Sora said, and he nodded curtly before turning his back to her to search the men, he might strangle them all when he would reach them.

The traps set all across the Dragonmount were removed before the cleansing, they would have gotten on the way. And Logain doubt if anyone had the time to re-weave them.

The Black Tower was about to be moved, and burn Taim for not being here!

It was four hours past midnight when Miribai Aflet set one fragile sea green glass on the counter and filled it carefully with liquid. Despite her caution, some of the clear stuff sloshed over the side, and the heavy, crude voice shouted in her ear again. "Careful, wench, every drop costs more than you're worth. "Her hands shook as she set the bottle back down, wondering how she could get rid of him. The great ham-fist snatched the glass, and the girl wondered why the delicate stem didn't snap in half under the pressure of the thick, ugly fingers.

The wide-faced, piggy-eyed customer seemed to sense the gist of her thoughts, and he snarled wordlessly at Miribai. She backed up, looking around for someone, anyone to help her; but no one was there... He reached out one ugly paw and caught hold of her collar, despite her efforts to avoid him; he gave her a shake that rattled her teeth. As she was beginning to panic, he tossed her away. Somehow she managed to break her fall, but half the skin on her palms was scraped; her knee hurt where she'd landed too hard. A big, boisterous laugh rang out above her somewhere, and she shivered, hearing the footsteps made by those massive, horrid feet. The door slammed shut behind him.

Unsteadily getting to her feet, Miribai used one corner of the bar for support, hoping that he wouldn't come back again. Of course, she knew better than that; he always came, each night, just before dawn, at the same time, and she couldn't turn him away. He was a customer, after all, she thought with a trace of bitterness. And Mistress Ataulf would skin her alive if she didn't serve him. Even though he tried to hurt her often when he was drunk, which was almost always. Mistress Ataulf refused to close the tavern even when the Asha'man raid the city and the skies were never truly dark, people comes to tavern no matter what, and in times of trouble there are good many who would like to drown their troubles drinking. Nothing is worth losing so much money!

The glass was on the counter, somehow intact, though empty, along with the few coins he'd set there before. She picked them up and put them away, and the glass she brought back into the kitchen. On her way out, she caught a glimpse of her own face in the mirror; there were circles under her eyes now that had never been there before, and her dark hair was disheveled from the fall she'd taken. Dark, harried-looking eyes set in a too-pale face flashed in the mirror for a moment before she moved on.

Locking the doors was easily done, and so was finishing the clean up. The one man left in the bar were dozing quietly, facedown on the table; she didn't think he'd bother going up to his rooms, despite having paid extravagantly for them. So she shook him gently and helped him up; he leaned on her heavily as she got him up the steps and eventually closed the door behind him. The next day, all he remembered was the face of an angel floating in his drunken haze, but that man would never find out whom she'd been.

Back downstairs; she gave the Common Room one last glance-over to be sure everything was as it should be.

The door slammed open, and accompanied by a sharp wind, a man stepped through. Without really looking at him, Miribai said, "We're closed."

"I don't care." The man sound drunk, he certainly smelled so.

At that, she did look up, and found herself gazing at too gleeful face, swarthy-skinned and black-eyed. He was young, and his eyes were the only pretty character in his face.

His eyes were the single redeeming feature of his face, but they were too joyous, too happy; the expression on his face terrified her more than anything the grimness of a customer before had done. He grinned at her and she shivered. "I don't care. Tell me, what do you have to drink in a place like this?"

"Ale," she answered hoarsely. "But we're closed. Please... please leave." He shook his head and advanced closer; her breath was coming faster now, the closer he got, the more fear she felt. Running would be fatal mistake, she knew.

"No. I'm not going to leave, pretty girl. Find me something, will you? It's been... a long day. I'm thirsty." She flew behind the bar; perhaps if she obeyed his wishes he would leave. How had he opened the door? She thought she'd locked it... How could she have forgotten? She glanced at the man, no way to know what colors his cloths were, he looked as if he bath in mud, and by his smell he drunk far too much to be healthy.

"Ale?" she inquired fearfully, and he nodded, still smiling rakishly. That smile was unnerving, and so were the eyes, too black and gleaming for comfort. Miribai poured the glass for him; hands shaking, she spilled even more than she had for the other. But this one didn't care... Suddenly she thought that he wouldn't care about anything, right now, and that scared her too...

He drank it in one swallow, and the smile never left his face. "Now, please leave," she said again, and again he shook his head.

"No, milady, I'll not leave till I've had another. Tell me your name, or I'll not leave at all."

Uneasily she poured another glassful, and began to mop up a bar that was already clean. "I'm not a lady... I'm Miribai. Miribai Aflet."

Another single gulp and it was gone. He tossed a few coins onto the damp wood, and one fell, turning on the ground for a moment before she picked it up. "A lovely name for a lovely girl, I'm Sethos Merik."

She put the money away and took the glass. Squelching her rising fear of the stranger in the dirty coat, she told him, "Good. You know my name, you had two drinks, now leave, please..."

"I fear I cannot," he replied gravely, but the mocking grin never changed. "I am captivated by your beauty."

"That... That's ridiculous. I shall have to call the men to have you thrown out, if you do not leave immediately!" Now her nerves were really on edge; there were no men around to call, in reality. She was never more aware of that in her life.

"Go ahead and try," advised Sethos calmly, and toyed with his red-tinted glass. Miribai threw down her rag and quickly moved around the bar, thinking only to get away and be safe...

He snatched her wrists as she went past, and her skirts slid along the floor as she struggled to get away. It was no use; he was far stronger than she was. "Stop," he ordered her calmly, and she looked up into the too-black eyes. Against her will she obeyed, too fearful to do anything but obey. She stared helplessly at her captor; Sethos still smiled merrily. Half hypnotized, Miribai couldn't move away, even when he released her arms and held her chin in one hand; she shivered with his touch. Maybe he wouldn't kill her if she would do nothing to provoke him.

The girl shook like a leaf, but that didn't seem to bother him. He leaned forward and pulled gently at her; she moved according to his wishes, leaning into him as he did thesame. Anything would be better than him killing her in his wrath.

Then he kissed her.

He kissed her, and it was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. It was like being burned alive. It was like being ripped apart. It was all the light in the world focused into a single moment of time. Every stolen moment of freedom she ever had in her life. It was like dying and being rebirth, love and hate, fire and ice, all at once, in a terrible, tyrannical pulse. It was everything and nothing in the same time, joy and sadness and tears and laugher. Everything surging in her, her entire mind opened to... something, she had no name to it.

Her hands grasped Sethos' dirty shirt desperately, as she tried to keep from falling. Gently he clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her shriek; it was so effective that she could hardly hear it herself. As Sethos took his hand away, a low moan escaped her lips, but no one could have heard it even had they been in the next room.

Miribai collapsed and he caught her, holding her to him tenderly. "There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" he cooed into her ear.

Finally she caught her breath. "What... What have you done?" she asked in a whisper, and realized that she could feel... He was there, in her head, somehow. That was the thing her mind opened to! Him! Miribai was aware of him, and he... was there, where no other had any right to be! In her head, where she could dream about freedom all for herself, the only place she was free!

"You're my Warder now. Hush; don't cry... Everything is going to be just fine..." He held her to him considerately as she began to weep. The tears fell like rain, and did not stop when the sun came.

It was late afternoon when Miribai awoke at last. She was long used to getting up at that time, and despite the fact that she had gone to bed later than usual, she still woke up then, in her own somewhat dilapidated double bed. The only difference was that someone else was in it beside her. Smelly someone.

She jumped nearly out of her skin when she saw him, even though she had smelled, and felt, he was there before she'd looked. He had taken his coat off as well as his boots; they were lying on the floor. Apparently he was still wearing the rest of his clothes... She was fully clothed too, and when she thought about it, she vaguely remembered him carrying her up the stairs and into her room, with her mumbling directions through the tears. And she remembered the kiss that had linked them.

A slight throbbing in her head was probably what had awakened her, she thought, and knew that it was his headache and not her own. If hers headache was annoying, his would be much worse when he woke up... All she could see of him was the back of a curly black-haired head; the rest was hidden beneath the blankets. Miribai was glad of that.

But just as she was thinking that, he stirred, both in her head and in the bed, and sat up, facing away. Sethos stood up wearily; shoulders hunched slightly, and came around to her side of the bed without looking at her. A tear slid languidly down her face as he turned and faced her. He looked older this morning, and tired; before, he'd seemed younger than she, but now he looked the same age as she did - though she'd begun to look older than she was. He looked older in the sun light, older, but not prettier, unfortunately.

Another tear mirrored the fall of the first; his hands reached out to her, and he drew her up to stand before him.

His face was grave and sorrowful; she noticed for the first time that his eyes were kind, rather than madly glinting, as they had been the night before. "I'm sorry," said Sethos mournfully; Miribai turned away, wishing he would let go of her hands so that she could cover her face with them.

Instead, taking a deep breath, she turned back to him and asked the first thing she wanted to know. "Why?" her voice broke, and pain flashed across his face suddenly.

"I don't know," he replied in anguished tones."There is no reason I can give you save that I was drunk. And that cannot stand for an excuse, not for what I've done to you. If it helps anything, I couldn't regret it more."

Her eyes pleaded, and she asked the second thing. "Can it be undone?"

"Even trying would almost certainly kill you." Now his gaze was determined and earnest. "I'm not going to let that happen."

"Please..." she begged, and more tears fled down her pallid cheeks, to follow in the paths of the first.

"I can't!" The admission seemed to have been wrung from his innermost soul, and she knew that he was speaking the truth. One of his hands dropped hers and came up to brush the tears from her face. "Miribai... please..." She looked back up at him, and tried to stop crying; it was more difficult than she'd thought it would be. "I need you," he told her almost inaudibly, and wrapped her in his arms.

She pushed him away, and he tripped on the bed, "Yet I had enough for more than a single lifetime with men that smell of ale and mud and dirt!" She shouted at him, he stole from her the last pieces of freedom she managed to keep. He deserved the worse she could think off. She bent down to take one of his boots and threw it at his face. "Get out! Get out of my room! Get out of my life! Get out of my head!"

He evaded the thrown boot with amazing flexibility. She took the other one and held it, "Out!"

"Miribai..." He began, but she had enough of that.

"OUT!" She screamed at him, outraged.

He was out almost immediately, "I will be back, Miribai." He told her seriously. "I can do nothing about it, I fear. I'll be back." She threw the boot at him, yet it hit the closing door only. He was out, coatless and bootless, and she was more than glad about it!

"Your mother was a hypocritical cauliflower who was so ugly her fellow villagers had to keep her on the stables, under a pile of hay, so the horses wouldn't run away." Halima said sweetly, in the Old Tongue,to the seamstress as the three of them approached the short, pale hair woman. Leane gaped at the black hair woman, Toviene only stare.

"Pardon, Lady," The seamstress said with a small bow, "I do not have any knowledge in the Old Tongue."

"Never mind that," Halima said, motioning gracefully with her hand, "I was admiring your store."

"Thanks you Lady," The seamstress beamed at her, "How may I help you? I'm Donevan Kelir."

"I'm Halima Sedai," Halima said, "Those are Leane Sedai and Toviene Sedai." She pointed at them, each in her turn. Toviene glared at the woman's back.

"Do you've any idea what are the punishments for pretending to be Aes Sedai, Halima?" She said coldly, in the Old Tongue, Halima proved a moment ago that the seamstress didn't know the Old Tongue.

Halima turned her head at her with a grin that could have set any man's heart racing. "But I am Aes Sedai, Toviene. It's you who have no right for that title."

The seamstress eyes were slightly afraid, but no doubt that she felt honored. In Arafel, as in all the borderlands, Aes Sedai was not something to be feared of, the other way around, in fact. "What may I do for you, Aes Sedai?" The woman might have doubt Halima's claim, hadn't she been there with her, neither Halima nor Leane had the look of Aes Sedai. But she did, and everyone knew that no Aes Sedai would let any woman escape falsely claiming to be Aes Sedai.

"I need everything!" Halima said, her eyes seemed to be searching something, "I've lost all my wardrobe's content, and I would like to fill it anew." She raised a hand to stop the seamstress from talking, "Money, of course, wouldn't be a problem. A thousands gold coins should suffice, isn't it?"

The seamstress face became red; it was ten time the price she would have asked had Halima wanted all her cloths from silk and velvet. "Aes Sedai, I mean no disrespect," The seamstress began nervously, "But this is five times the price I..." Toviene smiled inwardly, the woman might be honest, but no fool.

Again Halima stopped her, "It would hardly cover your expenses, mistress Kelir." She said calmly, "I've some... special demands of you."

Donevan face paled, "I don't know whatever I can do anything special, Aes Sedai. Certainly not for an Aes Sedai."

"Silence," Halima muttered, moving forward to take a half made dress, black velvet and laces all over. "Do you have silk in the same color? I don't very fond of velvet?"

"Of course, Aes Sedai." Bemused Donevan said slowly, "I've every color of silk, every lord and lady in Arafel buy their cloths from me, but, as I said, I'm not sure I'm capable of making anything that would fit Aes Sedai's taste, especially if you want something special."

Her words had no affect on Halima. She stood frozen, her head titled to one side, listening to something else. "I need nothing that you can't make for me, girl." She said absently, the seamstress stiffened, she was at least fifty, and Halima looked nothing more than twenty-five if that. . "Do you've a piece of paper, dear?' Halima asked, she nodded to herself in satisfaction suddenly, and a smile appeared on her face. "Cats! That should do it, of course, I should have thought about it before!" She whispered, almost beyond Toviene's hearing.

"Cats?" The seamstress asked, handing Halima a piece of paper, a bottle of ink and a pen. She sat down on a chair with the expression of a woman that couldn't be surprised more than she already had.

"Yes! Cats! You've a bunch of them nearby, and only one of them is adult, by the sound. How old are they?"

By the sound, Toviene wondered, Dovevan's face held only distant surprise, of course Aes Sedai would know everything, and of course that she would know about her cats, and that only one of them was adult. It seemed that what surprise the seamstress more than anything was that Halima didn't know the cats' age. "They were born a week ago, Aes Sedai." She answered. Halima stared at the pen with the same expression she stared at Logain, a mix of deep distaste and forced acceptance.

"Good, that is very good. I would like to have them too." Halima murmured in satisfaction, Dovevan's hands clutched her skirt tightly as the pen rose into the air without a hand touching it. It dipped in the inkbottle and scribed hastily on the paper. From where she was standing, Toviene couldn't see what Halima was writing. Leaneleaned against a wall and watched Halima and the seamstress with a wide grin, the woman made a joke of everything.

"The cats?" The seamstress asked incredibly.

"Yes! The cats, the young ones, not their mother," Halima said impatiently, "What else am I talking about?"

"Well, of course, Aes Sedai." The seamstress seemed to be ready to flee in horror, "I was worry who might take them, those are not the best times, you know. With that strange summer we'd and how it broke so abruptly. I feared that I might have to drown them, I can't have half a dozen of cats running around here, simply impossible, it took me almost a month to teach -"

"That is perfect," Halima said, "but I've other places to go today," In the same tone of voice, and in the Old Tongue, she said, "What would happened to us if Logain dies?"

Leane lost her grin, and Toviene felt her stomach sinking. It wasn't something she enjoyed thinking about. Despite what Logain had done to her, and because of that, she loved him. Love that had been forced on her, but love nonetheless, it had been long since she last felt that emotion, but she knew her heart well enough to admit her own feeling, even to herself alone.

"I asked him about it," Leane said slowly, "Each time he evaded the subject with enough skill to be mistaken for a Cairhienin. If to judge by the bond we Aes Sedai use, we would be dying corpses, living only to avende his death, without caring whatever we'll survive the task or not."

For ten heartbeats, Halima froze completely, her face unreadable mask, "And still you agreed to be his warder? He asked you to be his warder, and you agreed?" Incredibility was so heavy in Halima's voice that Leane laughed.

"I asked him to be my warder first, and I could hardly expect a man to do anything I wasn't ready to do." She replayed.

Halima raised an eyebrow, "For some reason, as long as I was a man, that is exactly what women expect me to do." Toviene opened her mouth, and closed it without saying a word, what could a woman tell to a woman that was a man? It was... peculiar, to say the least. She wondered how Logain handled it, considering her and Leane's suspicions about the bond; it must be twice as hard for him as it was to her to accept Halima. And ten times harder for Halima herself.

"Aes Sedai," Donevan said hesitantly, "I beg pardon, but, as I said, I've no knowledge in the Old Tongue."

"Never mind that," Halima said, "As I was saying, I need something special of you. I've enough with dresses. I need a full set of man's cloth, to my size, of course." The seamstress seemed to be relived to hear what Halima's special desires were. Toviene would have given much to know what the woman expect Halima to demand from her. "As I said, the money is not a problem. And I've two more wishes of you, dear." Halima continued, handing her the piece of paper that she asked few moments ago. "Have this embroider on every coat and shirt you're going to make for me."

The woman smiled, that was a well known ground for her. "Of course," She beamed at Halima, "But are you sure you would like man's cloths? It would be such a shame to put a body like yours in a man's cloths. I can make a lovely dress for, to make any man stare."

Toviene notice Leane wincing, it didn't took much to flare Halima's temper. "That is what I'm trying to avoid." The woman said, then she glanced down at herself and muttered something in the Old Tongue Toviene very much wished she didn't understood. The thing didn't sound probable, and until now, Toviene thought it impossible. "I fear that nothing could do much in that direction, this body is build to please men's eyes." And more, Toviene thought, but she had no wish to direct the woman's anger at her.

"As you say, Aes Sedai." Had Halima would have said she wanted man's cloths to fly, the seamstress would have accept it without a singe blink, no doubt.

"How much people you've?" Halima asked, facing the seating seamstress with stern pace.

"People?" The seamstress stared at Halima, beyond surprise after less than half an hour with the woman in her store. "Arafel has -"

"I meant," Halima cut her off with a voice that could have froze the Aryth ocean in a hot day, "how many people you've that are working for you? As seamstresses!"

"I've twenty girls that work for me, Aes Sedai." The woman said fearfully, Halima was clearly angry. "I will set five of them on your cloths, Aes Sedai. As soon as we're through the measurements, will you be here next week?"

"I said I've two demands of you, Donevan Kelir." Halima said sweetly, "As soon as the measurements will be done, I expect you to set every girl you've on my cloths, and fetch a needle for yourself as well. I'll have those cloths ten hours from now."

Ignoring entirely from protesting Donevan, Halima turned her head to them, "I expect the... measurements to take a while," She said, with deep distaste. "In the meantime, go outside and fetch me every kitty you can find, none of them may be old enough to open its eyes." Again, she used the Old Tongue.

"What are you going to do with cats?" Leane asked incredibly.

"I meant to live forever," Halima said absently. She lay one hand against the seamstress mouth, "Shush, we are trying to talk." She told her, in the same tone of voice Toviene would have used to school a novice. The seamstress eyes went wide with shock and indignation. But she was too fearful to do anything but obeying. Halima seemed to have no problems switching from the Old Tongue to Common, "Now, it seems that I'll have to die trying." A sad grin appeared on her face and was gone. "I died once," The shiver was almost invisible. "I've no intention of dying again, not so soon. And certainly not because I've let a man kiss me."

Toviene raised an eyebrow, "You let him; you were complaining that he bruised you when he tried both jumping you and kissing you at the same time." Halima's face took an interesting shade of pink.

"Never mind that," She said hastily, "I don't meant to die. That is the important thing! And if Logain dies..." She let her voice fade; Toviene was ready to give much to know the exact reason.

"You don't have to sound so practical about it!" Leane said, just short of a shout. "The man loves you!"

Halima let the hand she laid on the seamstress' mouth drop as she pointed sharply at herself, "Have you ever looked at me? Every man above fifteen falls in love with me on sight! Had I bothered paying any attention whatsoever to that I would have done nothing all day long but lying on back!"

Leane straighten her back, glaring down at the shorter woman, "Not that kind of love!" Leane shouted at her, "And you know it as well as I do!"

"At least, not only that kind of love." Toviene added, a little more calmly the Leane, but not much, was the woman blind as well as deaf to what happened in the back of her head?

Halima snorted, but said nothing for a moment, she seemed to be thinking, "Aes Sedai," Donevan almost begged, "Can we start the measurements? The sooner I could start the sooner I could finish," And get rid of mad Aes Sedai for good. But the last haven't said, although it was clear by her face.

"Go outside and find me some cats!" Halima ordered, releasing them with a graceful motion, "And remember, none of them must be old enough to open its eyes!"

"Cats!" Leane grumbled as the walked down the street, "I once was the Keeper of Chronicles! And now I'm being sent to fetch cats for that... infantile container of noxious..." She stopped; Leane wasn't half as good with curses as Halima was.

"Ideas?" Toviene suggested, "I'm sure she wouldn't have sent us to find cats if she hadn't had some use of them. Good use." Leane grumbled something about Trollocs and Halima that Toviene pretended not to hear. "She don't want Logain to die, somehow she will use the cats to help Logain survive. And that must be good."

"What is she going to do with cats a week old?" Leane asked, "Throw them at an attacking trollocs and expect it to stop to eat it while she run away?"

Toviene shrugged, "Maybe, but in the meantime, try stop sulking." She continued walking, leaving Leane behind her, glaring hard at her back, easily ignored.

"I want half the money," was the first thing Mistress Ataulf said to her as Miribai went downstairs from her room, after crying for more than half an hour in her room. Crying because the last scraps of freedom were finally taken from her. It took her nearly an hour to fix her appearance so she could leave her room with no evidence of last night's... events, although horrors would have been better to describe what the man did to her.

"What money?" Miribai asked; it would be for the best to pretend that last night never happened. She would take it an hour by hour; that was what she did when her mother died.

"I saw the man coming out of your room today, girl." Mistress Ataulf said sharply, "Don't play games with me! I told you when I got you to work here, if you take men to your room in my tavern, you give me half the money, now give it!" She held out a big, fat hand, and gave Miribai one of those stares that always made her shrink and swallow in terror.

Today, the glare had no affect on her; she was too tired and hopeless to let it touch her. With all her strength, she slapped Mistress Ataulf on her face and turned her back to the frozen women. "Come back here, you rotten wench!" The shout came just when Miribai opened the door. Miribai ignored it. She was too busy staring at the man who leaned just outside the building.

"I told you to go away," Since he left her he found time to take a bath, and changed his cloths. Black silk that nearly shined in the sun, it made her even more aware of her simple wool dress, or to that she left everything she had in the world in her room, and that she had no intentions whatsoever to return there.

"And I told you that I would never be able to do so, Miribai." He replayed calmly, "What ties us together affect me almost instantly. It would take a while for the affects to be felt on you. But that would happen, and when it does, you would need me as much as I need you."

"Is that an ultimatum?" Miribai asked, and began to walk away from him. She had no idea where she was heading to, Away from him, away from the tavern she had worked for five years in.

"I can give you none," Sethos said as he joined her. "Never."

"How sweet of you," She said acidly, "If you were that way yesterday, we wouldn't have this trouble at all!"

Guilt! Strong and sharp and burning inside him, "That was the first time I ever got really drunk, Miribai." He grimaced, "Considering the results, I think I will avoid being drunk ever again."

She slapped him, hard! She felt the pain in the back of her head, raged, she hardly noticed that, "Do you've any idea how many times I've heard men saying the same to women! Do you know how many times I've seen it being broken? Go away and let me live my own life."

"You can't!" He insisted. He caught her hand in his when she tried to slap him again, a strange feeling, feeling her hand both through the bond and as she always did, strange, and not unpleasant.

"I've been taking care of myself since I was six years old!" She shouted at him, not caring at all that people stared at her. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"

"Like you did last night?" He asked softly. He was no prettier in sun light, even cleaned. His eyes were the only think that saved him from being ugly. Even drunk there were big and soft and warm. Sober, they could make him, slightly, attractive, to the right woman, whom she was not, despite his claims.

"Last night," she said coldly, "I was facing a drunk man that can channel, I would know what to do next time I will encounter your kind."

"If you say so," He smiled.

She continued walking away from him; she needn't to glace back to know he was right behind her back. "I told you to go," She said without turning her head back to him.

"I rarely do what I'm being told to do." Sethos said, a foot behind her. "You might have noticed that."

"What do you want from me?" She exclaimed, turning back to face him. She had to dance back a few steps as to not to fall on him.

"Everything," He said, one finger tracing her cheekbone. She jerk back from his touch, but he only smiled, sadly, she thought. "Mind and soul and heart and body, Miribai." He said, very slowly, "I want it all. You've my heart tied to you, along with my soul. I can hardly stop thinking of you." His grin spread wider, "All is left now is to you to accept it before you can have my body as well." Did men think of nothing else?

People turned to stare at the pretty woman with wool dress that, in the middle of the street, slapped, with all her might, to an Asha'man that could easily pick her up with one hand.

Hand burning in pain, and a cheek that burned in the back of her mind, Miribai turned her back firmly to the disgusting man, and walked gracefully away from him. This time, he hadn't tried to follow.

"Seven hundreds twenty six!" Toviene said coldly, more shouted than said, in fact, "We've gathered seven hundreds twenty six kitties for you! And none of them with its eyes open! Do you've any idea how much time it took us? How much effort? Cats never attack Aes Sedai! Not unless there is Aes Sedai fool enough to try to takes the kitties away! Seven hundreds twenty six, and you say it's not enough."

Halima ignoredToviene entirely; she was staring admirably at the small creature she held gently in her hand. It fit perfectly into her palm, with nearly golden fur, it looked a little like an angry dog, since the ears almost didn't exist at the moment. "This would be perfect, Toviene." She whispered in awe. Leane stared at the woman, then at the small fur-covered creature. She could see nothing to define it from the Seven hundreds twenty-five other furry creatures that were spread all over Halima's room, bed and furnishers.

"And what were you doing, Halima?" Leane asked, seven hours of searching for small, furry, creatures that seemed to be made of little else save claws and teeth, and the woman simply disappeared in the air. When they returned to Dovevan's store, the terrified woman told them that after the measurements were done, Halima stepped through a big hole that opened in the air. Luckily, Toviene was just strong enough to make a useful gateway. You swore you wouldn't grave your lost strength any more, woman! You've saidar, however weakly, and it's far more than you could ever wished to have.

"I told you, Leane." Halima said impatiently, "I needed to set up a network, you can just dream it, you've to make one."

"I've set up a network of my own, Halima." Leane said, forcing patient into her voice. "No one can dream a network, a network you dream about remains a dream."

Halima gave her a peculiar look, "I tend to forget how much knowledge you... Aes Sedai lost." She said softly, in almost a whisper. "Suffice to say that I already had a network of eye and ears ready. I never trusted Friends of the Dark to be very good spies. A man or a woman that are ready to give information to the shadow knowingly aren't to be trusted."

Leane raised an eyebrow, "And what exactly did you do?"

Halima threw her head back and laughed, "I never claimed I'm to be trusted, Leane. Never!"

Toviene sniffed, "Tell us something new."

Halima shrugged, "No one knows where the borderlands' rulers are, from Shienar to Saldea, the kings and queens simply disappeared from the face of earth."

"Where did you heard that?" Leane said, her own network had reported nothing of the like.

"Few servants that couldn't keep their mouths close at the sight of me." Halima said with a slight grimace. "As it is, I've convinced few men the last six hours that we've an affair. They would do practically anything for me." She grimaced fiercely, "If Logain wouldn't have forbade me to use Compellation, it would have been much easier."

"You, above all," Toviene said sharply, "shouldn't be so eager to use Compellation. Logain's bond ties us to him through Compellation! We're forced to do what he wishes us to do because he Compel us to do so! And you speak of using against others?"

"I'm not so sure that the bond is based of Compellation," Halima said quietly, fondling the little creature in her arms, "The weave is as complex as anything I've learn in the Academy, I'm surprised that the Asha'man managed to come up with something as sophisticated. But still, it's wrong, unsafe to use. And will probably kill any man if he would try to use it. It doesn't make sense!"

"Have you tried to ask Logain?" Leane said.

"Bah!" Halima growled, and added something in the Old Tongue, Trolloc's mating ceremonies, if Leane got it right. Logain wouldn't be pleased to find his name there. "Prying answers from the Dark One is easier than from this man!"

Toviene laughed suddenly, two sets of eyes focusing on her, "Before we would begin to discuss men, why wouldn't you decide what you're going to do with seven hundreds twenty six kitties? They would be hungry soon, and they could starve very easily."

Halima blinked, for a moment, she looked startled, then three or four dozens of small kitties rose from to bed, and into the floor, carried by saidin, the male half of the True Source, woven by a woman.

Halima sat on the space she had freed and stared at the kitty she held, then, in a very low voice, she began cursing. The vilest curses Leane have ever heard. The Old Tongue gave Halima large freedom when expressing her ideas; and the woman stressed the language's borders.

Not surprisingly, the word that repeated more times than any other was Logain's name.

Relin trembled inside as she held the handle to the door of The Drunken Bull, a tavern the sort she had been warned again and again not to come near to. She had never been allowed before even to consider enterring such a place. It was, as her nanny put it. A place unsuitable for a young lady, or any woman at all, at least not the kind of women that work on their feet instead of their back. She was seventeen, Light! Dimor was in her name day party, she should have known her age, but she still thought the girl in her charge was too young to understand her words. She was twelve no longer! "Don't you like to know what kind of women work on their back?" She whispered to Shoni, her friend since they both were in the cradle.

"I'm not that sure that I would like to meet a woman that is..." Shoni hesitated, flushed and finished in a whisper, "working on her back, Relin."

"Nonsense, Shoni," Relin said in confident she didn't really felt, her curiosity put her in trouble before, and would put her to trouble in the future, she was sure. So there was no reason why she would get in trouble now. "Can you imagine yourself another time where we can be free before we both will have gray hair?"

"That is why I'm worried, Relin." Shoni said, she was always the cautious one, while she was the one who got the pair of them in troubles. "What if one of those men is in here? It looks like a place they would enjoy of." Not much chance of that, unfortunately, the men seemed to vanish slowly from the city, one by one, there were no more displays in the skies, and hardly any evident whatsoever to the tainted male half of the True Source being used.

"I always wanted to see a man that could channel." Relin said cheerfully, opening the door, "We weren't allowed to see Logain." Their parents protected them in a shell that resembled too much to a dungeon. Shoni heard about the Asha'man coming into Caemlyn accidentally, when she entered a room with her parents discussing the subject, and she was sent to her room like a child when they saw her. That attitude made Relin want to scream, and Shoni, although much more calm in her reaction, was just as annoyed by this treatment. Did their parents truly think that their daughters were complete idiots? Foolish enough not to understand what the grand display in the skies were?

Until today, the biggest adventure she had in her life was when a boy stole a kiss when Dimor wasn't looking. Shoni was caught kissing a boy in a dark corner in a garden, and Relin envied her to this day for that adventure. Even though she and Shoni were parted for a whole month, it was worth it. Both she and Shoni cried when they rejoined. None ever felt quite right without the other.

"They aren't just men, Relin. They can channel, and I don't want to be near one of them when he would go mad, or see one of them rotting." Shoni stated the last with a glare and a stubbornly held her head. "If you want to see men, we can go elsewhere, and pretend they can channel."

"I fear you don't have any luck here," A man emerged from the shadows, his voice amused to no end, obviously he listen to the entire conversation. Shoni jumped and breathed too quickly, her hand clutching a belt knife that Shoni's parents made sure that could hardly harm a piece of bread even if Shoni would use all her strength.

"We... we... have money for you if you want it." Shoni said in trembling voice, "Just... just don't hurt us." Relin stood frozen, looking at the dark figure in fear. That was what came from her wish for adventures. They were about to robbed, and only robbed, if they were lucky.

"I fear you run out of all the luck you had," The man said again as he stepped out of the shadows, yet, somehow, he seemed to carry some of the shadows with him. "I'm not after money, and I fear that I'm neither mad nor rotting." He made a perfect bow, "Although I fear I might start raving soon, staring at your collective beauty." Relin laughed weakly, her mind screaming warnings, the man wore black; she was desperately hoping that Shoni wouldn't make the connection. But her childhood friend was too busy staring admirably at the man. Anger well up in her, she had been forced to admit that there was more than enough to in that man. The only common physical character between her and Shoni was their height, too tall to be pretty, as Dimor mourned often. Yet the man was a full head higher then the any of them. He had dark long hair that reached his shoulder and was tied back with a wide leather cord, she couldn't be sure about the color of his eyes... yet assumed they were deep brown. He was too perfect to be real, one of the biggest man she'dever seen. And no doubt strong enough to lift her up in the air with one hand, or to break her neck with one twist of those huge hands.

He was too... too... himself to let him stay near her any moment more than necessary, the kind of man she loathed at site. The kind of man her parents would think as perfect for her husband. Someone that could tame your wild nature, she had to stay away from him or else she would try doing something unforgivable to him. "If you excuse us," She said to him, as politely as she could, "we would like to go inside the inn, it's cold here."

"It's, isn't it?" He said, sounding slightly surprised, his cloths were light, and he couldn't have unnoticed the cold, maybe he was too poor to allow himself other cloths, maybe he wasn't an Asha'man, and maybe, just maybe, she could control that sudden urge to giggle hysterically. Common sense, rusty after no being used for so long, advised her to leave with Shoni, that still stared at the black clad man as if she never seen a man before in her life. And never mind that she had been dragged to dark corners in her own house to be kiss by a man six years older than her.

She tried to open the door when he put his palm on it, stopping her with the door open just enough she could see safety, yet not reach it. "I think that this is the first time anyone named The Drunken Bull an inn," Said, amused, then his tone became serious, "I fear I can not allow you to enter here." He said quietly, "This is no place for the like of you."

"Enough!" Relin exclaimed, that Shoni was still looking at him like he was a candy, and as if Shoni was half way to starve set her fury higher than it have ever been before. "I've heard enough lectures to suffice for a dozen life times. I'm tired and sick of what I can and can't do. I'd enough of my parents telling me to do, I'm seventeen years old and I'm - "

"Foolish enough to risk that pretty neck of yours for a stolen adventure." The man said darkly, "You should have listened to your mother, girl." He moved forward suddenly, and somehow, lifted her to his shoulders as if she weighted no more than a feather. "Come!" He ordered Shoni; "I've other things to do than take care of two lost puppies."

"Let me down this instance!" She shouted at him, and added a few words from her small vocabulary of the words she wasn't supposed to know, had Dimor would have heard her she might be switched! But she would have kiss Dimor, the old witch, and accept any punishment whatsoever gladly just to be back in her bed. How many times she had been warned? Now she passed the limit, and, Light burns her, she had taken Shoni with her. And the man might kill them, or worse, and it was all her fault!

Yet she wasn't about to give up, not as long as there is the smallest chance of escaping. Kicking with her feet done no good, neither hitting his back with her fists. She screamed, as loudly as she could. The men inside the tavern must have heard her, why none of them came to check what was going on.

"Put that thing down!" She heard the man ordering Shoni; "You might kill a small mice with it, but nothing beyond it!"

"Let Relin down!" Shoni said, her voice shaking, clearly she was panicked, but she didn't run away, it made Relin proud of her. And, at the same time, endlessly frustrated with the bloody woman.

"You, too, have the common sense of a goat?" The man asked, and Relin had to close her mouth tightly to avoid throwing up as she was tangled like a sack as the man lift screaming Shoni on his other shoulder, He hadn't took his left hand from around her waist, it set her in her place as well as any steel chain would have, the knife, if such thing deserve the name, laid on the floor. Relin saw it as the man began walking away from The Drunken Bull, where no one bothered to see why a woman was screaming in the middle of the night.

"What are you going to do to us?" Shoni whispered fearfully, after it became clearly that trying to get away would help nothing.

"What I'm going to do to you," The man grumbled in a deep voice, "Is to take you somewhere when I can explain you what almost happened to you tonight. And I'm going to make sure that this lecture would remain in your mind, even if I've to make sure you would seat lightly for the rest of your life."

It wasn't half as bad as Relin imagine herself it would be. But it was still unacceptable. The man seemed to be unaffected completely by her struggles, or Shoni's, if anything, she suspected he was amused!

She no longer recognized the part of the city they were in and that sent chill into her heart, they was totally depended on his mercy, Shoni's face took a green color long ago. And Relin's stomach felt just the same, she was so sick that she clanged to the man, I don't know even his name! She thought furiously, closing her eyes helped, but only a little.

"This place I know well enough for Traveling," the man grumbled loudly to himself. She shoved fingernails into his coat and shirt, trying to hurt him somehow. Shoni moaned loudly, she seemed ready to lose the content of her stomach on the man's back. "Here," The man said, and tried to settled them both on the ground at the same time, which only managed to bump her against Shoni. She was too sick in her stomach to even notice him, falling to her knees, she threw up everything she since she was nine years old, or so it felt. She heard Shoni doing the same near her, with the man whose name she didn't know kneeling near her, talking softly.

When she rose to her feet, he offered her a handkerchief to wipe her mouth. Shoni was seated on a low stone bench, and she was pushed beside Shoni. "Why did you have to make this to us," Shoni asked, holding her stomach hard, she seemed to trying fight the urge to sick up again. "And why did you carried us for so long, that hurt." Shoni's admiration to the man was completely gone; no doubt they both would have bruises, which should teach me to listen to mom and pop. She thought sadly. There were tears in Shoni's eyes.

"Because, you wool headed idiots," He said, nearly shouting, "Had you entered that place the way you are, dressed in silk and staring big eyes at everything. You would have been lucky if they would have slit your throat first and then rape you, if you wouldn't have been so lucky, that could have been the other way around!" He stared at them and signed tiredly, "Do you understand what I'm talking about," he asked, obviously expecting a negative answer.

"Of course we do!" Shoni, sweat Shoni, that never threw a tantrum in her life, shouted at him. All Relin could do was seat down and wonder how her brilliant plan would have ended. She felt sick, and not for the voyage on the man's shoulder anymore. "What I want to do is what gave you the right to haul us the way you did half way around the city! Like we were nothing more than two bags of loaf!"

"If we would have stayed there few more minutes, we would have been attacked," the man said coldly, "and I don't think I would have love to kill them, not today, at least. And, in case you haven't noticed, I carried you for quarter of a mile only!" He turned his back toward them, and began to pace the length of the yard he brought them to; it was small, and smelly! With only that bench to decorate it, houses that seemed too old to keep standing surrounding it. Relin rose to her feet, they felt like water, "Let us go," She said quietly, because she thought she might begin crying any moment, "I... thank you for... saving us, but now I want to go home."

"And who is going to guard you after I'll put you in your beds?" The man said, turning to face her, looming above her in the darkness of night. "The way I see it, you will skim tomorrow's night to another place, twice as dangerous!"

"Listen to me, you goat faced horse kisser," Relin hissed at him, "I'm not about to let you go half a mile from my bed, not to mention anything to put me in it! All I want you is to leave us alone! Are you too stupid to understand it?"

"No, but you're too naive to be true," His laugh made her grit her teeth. "But I think I might have a solution for you."

He stood five feet away from her, but he crossed the space in a single heartbeat, and grasped her head in his hand, titling her eyes to meet his. He didn't hurt her, but she couldn't move her head a hair width. And then, he kissed her, actually kissed her.

She could have counted the times she had been kissed on two hands with much room to spare, and all those times were only when Dimor was away. Both her and Shoni's parents were rich merchants, and they over guarded their daughters. Neither hers nor Shoni's parents, who, like their children,practically grew together, were born rich, but they gained wealth and power, and, by the small snatches of stories she could pry from her parents, and what Shoni heard while eavesdropping, the path to wealth wasn't neither paved neither smooth.

But they have every intention to make sure that their daughters would lack nothing, save freedom. They meant to make sure that they wouldn't have to go through what they'd to in their own youth, and didn't understand that they created something, that, in Relin's and Shoni's eyes, was far worse.

The man kissed her, and all thought fled as warmth flowed into her from his lips, sweet warmth, that filled her to bursting. She was a butterfly flying over a flower field, enjoying the warmth of the sun, a hawk searching for a prey, but also flying for the sheer joy of flying, an oak near river, old enough to see Arthur Hawkwing, listening to the birds' talk. It was like... like something she never felt or dreamed about before.

All those dreams of what she thought as pleasuring couldn't compare to this. It was... it ended, just as she was about to decide what it was. Leaving her gasping for air and weak knees, she clutched to him, the man without name, clutched to him hard. She could think coherently, only that he was there, and... that was all that was important to her, somehow, for some reason, even thought she loathed him.

"Don't worry, pretty girl," She heard him saying, but it wasn't directed to her, who was he talking with? Was there anyone here? Shoni? The name had some meaning to her; it had to. "Your turn would come soon too." The man said, and suddenly she felt like crying and laughing in the same time.

Stepping through the gateway, Logain showed no sign that the Cleansing of saidin had any affect on him whatsoever. Rage burn pleasure away, he seized control on himself with iron fist. One slip, and the Light alone know what he might do. Halima could feel it, as clearly as she could feel her own emotions. Carefully she set the gorgeous creature she held aside. The man simply disappeared for two days, without a word coming from him, and he was on the edge throughout those two days constantly. She wasn't worried about him, of course; in fact, she fell in love twice the last two days with Logain gone.

The first she fell in love with was the little kitty that lay on her bed, either sleeping or eating most of the time. She had done so before, of course, but always under others' supervision. It took her longer then she expected, manipulating it, but once she finished with the general design, it went quickly, she finished more than half of the kitties already.

She had some talent in those areas, but she pushed her limits here. And, of course, she had to avoid killing the little creatures, which was why she used infants, their endurance to the kind of manipulation she was using was amazing. But still, if lucky, she could finish with seven or eight kitties per hour. With Seven hundreds twenty-six kitties to work on, and only a day and a half to work with, she pushed it and finished nearly three hundreds. She kept that little golden kitty for herself, the rest where stored in Logain's room. And Leane and Toviene's eyes glared at her every time their eyes laid on her. None like to... baby seat a bunch of small, smelly ugly creatures, as Toviene put it. Especially since Halima came up with a way to feed the kitties, she was just glad they obeyed, the kitties were important. Although she wanted to make it a surprise, to everyone, which was why she had told the two as near nothing as she could.

As she walked to the door, to find out what the man was scheming now, not because she missed him, she savored her new love. She had no idea how much she missed breach until she had them again. She burned every dress in her wardrobe to ashes, just to make a point for Logain. Some men, and him included, for sure, apparently had very strange ideas about women's proper place. If Logain would dare saying a single word about her clothing, she would set his hair on fire!

He traveled to the main rooms of their quarters, he felt like he wanted to strangle something. Halima watched aghast, nearly seventy five women passed through the gate, most of the women in dresses cried,the others, those who wore breach and coats much like her own, but in gray and brown and green instead of the darkest black possible, stood rigid, moving as if every movement caused them endless pains. They glared at anyone, anything, for some reason, large numbers of the glares were directed at her, most women were jealous of her. It often amused her to no end, not now.

"Do you collect them in groups now, Logain?" Halima asked acidly, staring at the woman that followed. He ignored her; she had to thank the bond for that, had anyone else dared taunting him at the moment...

"Toviene, Leane take care or all of the women. Halima, I need you with me." He ordered, tying the weave of the gateway at the same time. Halima grimaced; she hated being ignored more than she hated being a woman.

He didn't look back, the sight of the women was probably more than enough to break his self control at the moment, if what she understood what he was feeling. He was on the corridors of the Dragonmount before she could make more than three steps to follow him.

"Have you sat on a sharp thorn, Logain Albar?" Halima said sardonically, she had to run to catch up with him. "What has set you aflame like that, you son of mule?" She put a hand on his arm and stopped him, "I've no intention of going anywhere unless you begin to speak." She said seriously, clear green eyes glaring at him.

"Apparently," He said through clenched teeth, "The Asha'man has no more self control than any sheep I've met."

"Oh," She rose an eyebrow and grinned, "That surprised you. You don't seem to have much the last few days." His glare slide right past her, after facing Shaidar Haran's glare, it only widened her grin. "What have they done to anger you?" She titled her head to one side, "I can think of several things that I would have done had I had a reason to celebrate." She glanced down at herself, "That is, if I weren't in this... body." The last came out as a whisper; she hoped he didn't hear her. Logain shake his head slightly, he didn't like to be reminded who, and what, she was. Neither did she, for that matter. "It doesn't matter anymore, isn't it?" Halima muttered with a twisted grin, "At least not with anything I'm ready to do. What have they done?" What he would have done had he been in her place? The thought made her grin.

"Every last one of them abandoned the Black Tower and went to Caemlyn." He said, by his face, he would like very much to have one of the Asha'man in front of him, to punch him in the nose, or strangle him. "They gave the citizen every reason to believe they all gone mad!"

Halima shrugged, "You weren't very coherent lately, Logain." She reminded him, just in case he didn't know it himself.

"The last couple of days are a reason to doubt my sanity," she thought she heard him whispering.

"They would calm down sooner or later, the same as you did. It's no reason to be that much angry." Silently she cursed him and his curiosity, a woman channeling saidin; that was something he couldn't believe, and when she tried to kill him... Killing her - if he could, they were almost equal in strength - was impossible. So he taken her as a warder instead, and all her troubles began.

"You're doing it in purpose, doesn't you?" He questioned in a tight voice. She enjoyed taunting him, bringing him to the edge. So far she counted three dozens times when she was sure only the bond stopped him from trying to kill her.

She stared at him with surprise; big emerald eyes staring at him in a way that she knew that was making him want to strangle her. She had absolute control on her face, now, at least, inside his head; all the man would feel would be only amusement and slight regret. "What are you talking about?" She asked, any judge would have convicted her, no human being could be that innocent. She practiced that expression long ago; it worked as well when she was a woman as it did when she was a man.

"Never mind," He muttered, raking a hand through his hair. She couldn't recall when she last felt him asleep, he couldn't sleep, at first, when saidin raging in him, so pure that it brought tears to him eyes. And nothing in the world could make him lose the One Power; a dream that he never let himself believe in became true. And now he had to face the not so pleasant results. "They didn't suffice in leaving the Black Tower, they seemed to lost all control of themselves. I don't think that they harmed anyone, not intentionally, at least, but as far as I've seen, every man or women in Caemlyn is in terror. And that is not the worst of it." In a whispered he thought she wasn't hearing he added, "Burn Far Derais Mai! And burn every woman along with them!"

"Oh?" Halima said with a grin when he stop in a junction between two corridors and tried to remember which one would lead him to his destination. This place was deliberately created as a maze. "Where are you going anyway?"

"To find Rand bloody al'Thor! Where else!" He said as he took the left turn, "He need to know about it, someone has to take control over the Asha'man, and Taim simply disappeared, if we have any luck, the man couldn't control saidin when he felt it clean at last and died. But Taim isn't the kind of man to make us such a favor."

"Why don't you try to calm down, Logain?" Halima suggest, her voice dropping honey and acid at the same time. "This corridor will take you nowhere, Lews Therin's rooms are that way." She walked into the right corridor, ignoring his curses.

Following her, he asked, "Did he return?" The last he had seem the Dragon Reborn, he fled from a woman who claims to be Ilyena, his long dead wife. Halima wasn't so sure about the woman's identity. Something was... wrong in her, she knew, but she couldn't say what it was. But death changed you in many ways, some of them greater than you could imagine.

"I don't think so," She said absently, "Why not you?"

"Why not I what?" He asked, his temper boiling.

"You said that someone has to take control over the Asha'man, why not you?" He nearly tripped his own feet to her words.

"The Light save me from that!" He called, startled. "The only time I was in command was when I led my army, and I only did that because I'd to save my throat. It was the only way to avoid the Aes Sedai." And even that failed, at the end, he shivered at the memories. She could identify with him. "It was enough for a dozen life times."

Halima took a turn in another level crossing, not slowing for a heartbeat, "Why? What happened?"

He deliberately misinterpret her question, she would pry the information out of him, sooner or later. "Every last man who knew how the weave, and had the strength to do so had taken a warder, or more than one!" Halima sucked in a breath with a hiss, yet she said not a word. "Now do you understand what I'm angry about?" He nearly cut off his tongue trying to swallow the words.

"I understand perfectly well," Halima said emotionlessly, and Logain fell silent, as her temper nearly escaped her control again.

"You know, Logain," She said pleasantly as they came closer to Lews Therin's rooms. "You're a true, rare example of unattractive loaf of musty foot fungus." He stopped on his track, staring at her back in amazement.

"What did I did this time?" He asked, he truly didn't understand.

One frustration Halima clearly remembered from the days she was still a man, she hadn't turned her head to him as she continued walking. "If you don't know, Logain bloody Ablar," She said, using her sweetest voice. "I'm not about to tell you."

His pained groaned sounded like music to her ears.

He emerged from the shadows that hided him, black on black, he was nearly invisible as he came near the woman, lying with her eyes closed on the pallet spread on the floor. Despite having her eyes close and her breathing even, she was awake, something the man knew even before he kneel by her side. "How did you pass the guards?" Hate was easily found in the voice and in her too. Hate and bitterness and half a dozen of other emotions she couldn't name. All focusing around the man kneeling near her pallet, she held a long dagger hidden beneath the blankets, and was more than ready enough to use it.

"You know what I'm, Lessa. The guards didn't even saw me." He whispered to her, did he think that if he would whisper the rest of the maiden wouldn't wake? They knew he was coming. Asha'man arrived all day long, very often with grim faces, to take their warders, the truth about what the Asha'man did upon kissing had became common knowledge far too late.

Lessa could understand it; her... situation was too humiliating to speak about, not to anyone. The silence was understood, no one could ever imagine that there would be so many Asha'man would take warders among the maidens. "You sent me flowers!" She accused him. Still with her back turned on him and eyes closed.

"I did," Surprise was strong in his voice, "What is wrong with that?"

"Barbarian!" Lessa muttered. "You don't even understand what you've done!"

"I send a bunch of roses to my warder," Eldan Delvar said slowly, "Why are you so annoyed?"

She rose to a seating position, hugging her knees to her chest, and looked at him, "Among us, it's the woman, or women, that ask a man to marry them." Wetlander had it the other way around; they were truly barbarians.

"I know, I spend the last day at the palace library, searching for anything about the Aiels." He said softly; then rose an eyebrow, "Are you intend to ask me to marry you? If so, I would gladly accept - " She tried to punched him, hard, straight on his nose. He moved his head quickly, and she hit only air. The strength of the blow sent her fumbling into him.

A spear hit a buckler, and the maidens lying in the pallets all over the room rose. They have all the warning the needed. "Light, woman!" Eldan exclaimed as she fell against him. "I understand strange customs, but it's quite impossible for you to rape me!"

Hissing with indignation, she tried to hit him in the ribs, and was rewarded by something lifting her up in the air. "I had enough!" Eldan growled, rising to his feet, only to find that he was facing dozen maidens,fully clothed and armed, all veiled.

"You can't have me," Lessa said calmly, forcing panic down, Light, she was three feet in the air, held by nothing. "If you try, they will stop you."

He glanced at her, with a grin that made her want to shiver. "You're forgetting who I'm." He said calmly, then returned his eyes to the maidens, "How it will be?" He asked calmly, not showing the slightest sign of fear, he didn't feltfear, only amusement and confidant. She would gladly kick his bottom, hard. "One by one or all of you together?"

Arolin snorted, they were friends since they had wedded the spears, often considering of saying the vows that would make them into first sisters. She had been taken warder too, although her Asha'man was yet due to come, Arolin didn't doubt he would come. "We follow ji'e'toh, wetlander."

"How lovely," Eldan said slowly, "unfortunately, I don't." He smiled harder, saying that.

Anger and fear battled inside her to no end. She couldn't seat down for her life. Rand was away, very far away. Strange how quickly she learned to trust the bond. The same bond that was now full of pain and sorrow and shock. "How you can be so calm?" Aviendha burst, she could hide her emotions no more. "Rand al'Thor had run away, and that... woman is sharing this hold with us!" At least Elayne showed some signs of nervousness, as light as they might be. The golden hair woman sat slump on a chair, chewing her bottom lip and arranging skirts already neatly spread. Birgitte sat next to her, talking to her Aes Sedai with a soothing tone, Aviendha wanted to explode!

Min raised her head from the book she was reading, staring at her, she carefully marked the place she was reading and closed the book, and rose to her feet. Standing, she was a full head shorter than her, yet somehow, it seemed like it was the other way around. "What am I suppose to do, Aviendha?" She asked, "What can I do? We agreed that we mustn't go to Rand, not now, not the way he's. That will be the worst thing to do now; you were the one suggesting that we shouldn't come to Rand. You said that he needs a time to calm down. That he have to have time to think. Then what can I do?" Min squeezed her eyes hard and trembled, "Don't you think I'm as worried as you are? I feel his pain, enough sorrow to drown him completely. The only thing I can do is wait, what else do you expect me to do?"

"I'm sorry," Aviendha muttered weakly. She didn'tmean to make her near-sister cry. "It's just that - " There could be no excuses, in ji'e'toh, being among wetlanders for so long seemed to affect her more greatly than she thought. "I have toh, near-sister." She began to say, when the doors to the room slammed open, giving her a start, Logain stride through as if he had every right to be here, in their rooms.

"I need the Lord Dragon," He said coldly, his face could be used as an anvil, cold and expressionless and hard. "Where is he?" Aviendha saw Halima passing through, eyes burning with green fire as she glared at Logain. The woman knew her manners, at least.

"Rand is not here." Elayne said frostily, rising from her chair, "as you can see for yourself,whatever it is that you need him for, surely it can-"

Logain took three long strides, looming over Elayne. Embracing saidar, Aviendha unsheathed her belt dagger, the Light of saidar surrounded Elayne as well. And from the edge of her eyes she saw that Min had a knife in each hand, Birgitte pulled a long knife seemingly from nowhere. "Listen to me, girl." Logain said, ignoring Elayne hissed breath, "As we speak, you've more than four hundreds Asha'man ravaging your capital, I don't have time for moods or games. Not from you, nor the Lord Dragon bloody Reborn, where is he?" The Light of saidar slowly faded from Elayne.

"What... What did you said?" She asked weakly, both hands pressed to her stomach.

Logain stared at her for a moment and took a step back, "What I said," his voice much more pleasant than before, "was that the Asha'man are all around Caemlyn, and that I need Rand. Nothing was damaged that I could see."

"He didn't said that no one was damaged," Halima said acidly, Logain half turned at her, but she continued despite the warning glance he gave her. "Apparently, Asha'man enjoy collecting women. I would be surprise if any woman from fifteen to fifty would remain in Caemlyn after they are done."

Elayne didn't even turn her eyes to the black hair woman, "What is she talking about, Logain Ablar?" Her voice demanded an answer.

"Some of the Asha'man decided to play tricks," Logain said with a disgusted expression, "All I know for now is that Far Derais Mai are more foolish than any Trolloc."

"What does the Maidens have to do with the Asha'man?" Aviendha asked, fingers tightening around the dagger she still held.

"It would takes too long to explain, Aviendha." Logain said curtly, "There should be four or five dozens of them in my rooms, you could speak with them, I'm sure they would be more than glad to talk with you. I, on the other hand, has a stubborn man with a stone head to take care of." Min gave a weak laugh to his choice words. It was all too true.

"I will take you to him," Elayne announced, eyes burning, "I will - "

"You will do nothing," Halima said, "You are the last one Lews Therin would like to see." Elayne took a deep breath; she looked like she had just been slapped. "The three of you are the last he would like to see, next to Ilyena." A frown crossed the woman face, "Of course, there were other women in Lews Therin's life. Do you want the list?" The daggers disappeared from Min hands, and she sat down stiffly, touching her stomach lightly for a heartbeat.

"That is enough!" Logain snapped at Halima, his tone only hardened when his attention returned to Elayne, "Open a gateway to him, use the bond to guide you, put it half a mile from him, I don't want to startle him."

"I know how to weave a gateway," Elayne said in icy voice.

Halima opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Logain turned at her, and she closed her mouth hastily. The Light of saidar surrounded Elayne as she wove Traveling, Halima passed through, by Elayne's expression; she was more than ready to close the gateway on the woman. As soon as the gateway closed, Elayne wove another, this time, into the Lion Palace.

As the gateway close, Min took her book back with hands that trembled visibly, "I hate her!" She muttered loudly.

"Why?" Aviendha said quietly, sniffing the air, recognizing the odor that hanged in the air. "She said nothing but the truth." The words hung in the air, as vile as the odor that came from the gateway, the smell of the Blight.

Eldan simply took her along with him, ignoring her shouts and curses. She was being carried by something she didn't see, hanging five feet from the ground. "Do you mind, now, tell me what annoyed you so much you gathered your friends to guard you from me?" Eldan Delvar asked as she floated through the gateway.

She kept her mouth shut stubbornly.

"All I did was sending you flowers, Lessa." He continued as if her silence hadn't bothered him one bit. "It's hardly a reason to be angry. And I don't understand how marriage has to do with... me sending flowers to you."

"Among us," She told him frostily, unable to move a muscle beneath her neck, "It's the woman's place to decide whatever or not she wish to be married to a man. A man can imply that he would see such offer honorable and would accept it." He still stare at her as if he understood nothing, "One of those way is the man send flowers to the woman. Implying he would like her to ask," She wished she had a dagger in her hand. The man had the goal to smile.

"So you're angry because you think I want you to marry you, or because I act as if I do but has no wish to do so?" She stared at him for a moment, trying to understand what he meant. Men never talked sense.

"You arrogant heathen cake of infected lizard snot!" She shouted at him, it was all she could do. Given half a chance she would have go for him with her hands alone. But he gave her none. "I don't want you, not in my head, not in my life, nowhere!"

"Tsk, Lessa." The man said softly, "Weren't you've been thought that you shouldn't lie?"

"I do not lie!" She snapped at him.

"Then why do I feel the lie on your tongue?" Eldan Delvar asked.

As far as she could see, they were in some sort of windowless corridor, no doubt lighten by the One Power. She had been lowered to the ground, until her boots touched the ground; she had no idea how welcoming a stone floor could feel. "Where have you brought me?" And in the same breath, "Take me back!"

"After all the trouble I took to bring you here, I don't think so," He replayed, "Maybe some time later, when you would tame that temper of yours." It was foolish of him to release her. She jumped at him, too furious to remember any of her training, pulling him to the ground. She still tried to hit him when, half way to the floor he twisted, speed impossible. His arms embraced her, and when they both landed on the cold floor, it was his body that sheltered her. She felt the air whooshing out of his lung as she fell on him.

For a long moment, she laid on him, then she rose, she felt his pain, his back and shoulder, mainly. But his head too, his eyes were closed, his breath quick. She knew he wasn't awake.

"Burn you, Eldan Delvar!" She muttered; she wanted to kick him, hard. But this would have to wait. She tried to lift him. She was strong, but he seemed to weight twice her own weight. She gave it up quickly and caught his wrists, "First thing, Eldan Delvar," She told the unconscious man that she dragged forward, where he was heading, she hoped there would someone there to help him. Head injuries were dangerous, and she knew only what every maiden knew about healing. "You're going to start eating less." She took three more steps before she understood what she was saying. She stopped with a foot still in the air. When did I decide to stay with him?

The surrounding around them was full of life, trees bushes, grass, everything, the heat was overwhelming. Despite the new winter in the world, the Blight was always warm, and every life in the blight was dangerous. The rotten feeling inside them, a smell that wasn't exactly a smell, a sense of something wrong, made them both recalls the taint. "I don't like this place," Logain muttered loudly. He had been in the Blight once, and the memory still made him want to vomit. All around him, he could feel the Dark One's wrongness; that was the best name to what he felt. As if the taint returned.

Halima groaned miserably. She was full of saidin, Logain doubt if he would ever get used to his warder, the prettiest woman he'd ever seen, small and tender and with a tongue to fit a venomous snake. Could he ever get used to see a woman holding saidin? He pushed it away, and continued walking, Halima wove fire, a simple enough weave, she always choose the simplest weaves possible, and it didn't matter that she also used weaves that were of the most complex he had ever seen, when it was possible, she was simple. It was faster and more efficient, so she claimed. Logain wondered whatever she knew how much this particular attitude in her thought him about her.

Everything a hundred feet from them was burned to ashes, his boots made strange sounds, walking on ashes. The Shadowspawns fled, the trees burned. Logain kept one eye on her, the second on the skies, Darghakar weren't the only flying creatures in the Blight, as he knew well.

"Tell me about yourself," Halima said suddenly, making him freeze.

"Why?" He inquired, "So you can use it against me?"

"Not today," She said softly, her eyes never rested, and she walked in the same flowing move he saw so often at warriors at battle, ready to turn and fight at the slightest sound. "Not here, never here." She was afraid. The Blight was the Dark One's kingdom, and she made it clear that she didn't expected to live long, betraying the Dark One.

He had every intention to prove her wrong. They had betted it, her suggestion, not his. It was too... morbid for his taste. But the price was worth it, in his eyes, and she laughed at him, saying that she wouldn't be able to demand her price if she would win.

As long as she could laugh, he couldn't worry too much. The moment laugher died, so did the person, and he knew it well enough from himself.

"Of all the places in the world!" Halima muttered loudly, "That irresponsible bunch of rancid braised pus had to choose this place!" Logain put a hand on her right shoulder, pulling her to a stop. Her weaves changed instantly. She raised a barrier around them, not stopping cursing. He learned more about the Shadowspawns' mating process than he had ever wished to know. For a moment he wondered what part Lews Therin took in the curse. It sounded... equally unpleasantfor both male and female

"If you will stop before you'll make me vomit," He said before she reached the parts he believe worse than what she said already, "why are you so angry?" A moment later, he added, "Is this how it's really... is with the Trollocs, and the others?"

"I hate this place!" She shouted at him, "Hate this place more than anything else in the world save the Pit of Doom. And I would sooner walk into the Pit of Doom than there." She pointed north, where he could see the now-familiar yellow glow, stronger than the sun.

"Why under the - ?" He dropped the question quickly, "You can return to the Dragonmount if you like, Halima. I can take care of him on my own."

"You wouldn't be able to take care of ice melting in a summer day, Logain!" She screamed at him, she weave fire, a ring made of saidin, of fire wall a mile in height appeared in a circle a fifty feet around them, even from that distance, Logain could feel the warmth of the fire. It began to spread quickly, in three heartbeats, it was already two hundreds feet away, he channeled at three hundreds, fire and air to cut her flow, it took effort, with something the size she was weaving. It fade completely at four hundreds feet. The way she stared at him... she was breathing quickly, with saidin inside, he could here her pulse racing. Not of effort, it was too much emotion that made her tremble so, and horror was the strongest.

She shrugged off his hand and continued walking, no longer channeling, but she had readied some of the nastiest weaves he had ever seen, "You don't know Lews Therin enough to do any good." She said with a hard voice.

"And you do?" He asked, striding next to her.

"Learning Lews Therin was a surviving skill in the War of Power, Logain Albar." She said scornfully to him, he didn't mind, for now, anger pushed terror aside, he rather have her angry, at him or at someone else - not that she seemed angry at anything but him, not that he saw – than her have afraid. "And survival was something I took lightly one time only!" She shivered visibly, he wondered, in the most cold, distant part of his mind, the one that he hated and respected at the same time, if she knew that she now stepped closer to him. She gave him a grin that held some mirth in it, "Lanfear used to give us advance lessons in understanding Lews Therin."

He stared at her, it was sometimes hard to know whatever she was joking or not, she had a... peculiar sense of humor, to say the least. "It was a joke, isn't it?"

"Men!" She growled, and then sent both hands to her mouth and guilty expression appeared on her face, the same expression of a girl with a hand in the cookies' jar with her mother just stepping into the kitchen. "I hate women!" She said, her voice hard and her eyes burning, "I hate them almost as much as I hate this place."

"Maybe it's not my place to mention it," Logain said, trying to push down a grin and knowing very well she felt his desire to smile, "But you are a woman!"

"Why do you think I hate them?" She grumbled loudly, smoothing black, shining coat. He blinked at her, it was the first time he noticed that she didn't wore a dress. He stared at her before, didn't look. It was quite easy, staring at her, although dangerous, she had a tendency to throw tempers when she noticed his eyes on her. And Halima's... tempers were quite a bit more than he could handle safely. She never actually tried to kill him, not since that time in the White Tower. When they fought now, her flows lacked the final strength that would make them dangerous. "I liked women," Halima continued, "Once! When I didn't have to be one!"

"Does being a woman is that bad?" Logain asked; Halima was the only one that could truly answer such a question.

"Go with me into the Pit of Doom," Halima said angrily; "The Dark One will surely give you this body in exchange to an oath of fealty to him." Logain thought that there couldn't be a doubt that Halima was the only one in the world that could sound disgusted, talking about the body she had. One found it hard being disgusted from a body that was as near perfection as possible. Of course, her tongue needed to be cleaned, but Logain thought that cleansing saidin would be easier than cleaning Halima's tongue. And he had no intentions trying. "Of course," She said, almost cheerfully, "I would like to have yours in exchange." The way she eyed him made him shift his shoulders uncomfortably. It was nothing like the way women looked at him since he was... fifteen? No, it was sixteen. Keep boasts to others, you can be truthful with yourself, at least. The familiar greediness was there, but something else, she looked at him as if he was a cloth she was trying to decide whatever it was worthy enough to wear.

"Don't joke about such matters, Halima." He told her, trying to ease his discomfort.

"I wasn't joking," She told him absently, she was too busy staring at him in a way he found extremely uncomfortable. Then she shrugged, "I assume I'll have to take you to Tal'aran'rhiod and show you."

"That is not exactly what I've in mind when I think of being in you." He told her, smiling as she became redder than the sun.

Facing him, she drew saidin to the point where he could feel the pressure on her, where a bit more would be deadly. "If you think that I will allow you to force yourself on me, or that you've any hope to succeed in that, you are -"

"I've never forced myself on a woman before," He told her, his voice ice, his mind fiery fury. "I have no intentions to start with my warders." He stared at her, looking down from his height. "But, unfortunately, no doubt, as you see it, you've a body that stepped right out of any man's dreams." He ignored the fury that began bubbling in her, fear exist no longer, that was the important thing. "Putting yourself in a man's cloths done nothing to hide it, the other way around, if anything. You would have to put a sack on you, a big one, to hide your body. Then you'll have to do something with your voice, and your smell. Maybe then you'll be able to avoid being noticed by a blind man in a dark room, but I wouldn't have bet on that."

She looked at him for few long moments, "Smell?" she inquired finally.

"Yes!" He replayed, resuming his walking, leaving her behind, he knew she would follow.

"Smell?" By Halima's tone you might have thought he was suggesting she would eat a Trolloc, he had to do that once, or starve. Ever since, he decided that starving would be better. She held her hand near her nose and then trotted to catch him, he caught her hand an inch from his face. "There is nothing wrong the way I smell!"

He blinked at her; she wasn't a fool, why didn't she understand. "That is what I've been saying, Halima. There is nothing wrong in your smell, save the small fact that you smell like you've just stepped outside a bed after an extremely pleasant night." He had more to say, but he pushed it too far already.

"Burn you, Logain Albar!" She hissed at him, "Burn you to the Pit of Doom!" Saidin spin around her; flows of air and fire and just the tiniest touch of spirit, the flows lingered in the air for a moment, then they were gone, and so was Halima.

"My Queen," Dyelin hurried to the girl that was her queen on weak knees. She came as soon as summoned, and would have come if she had direct orders not to. She was grateful to catch the new queen just before the girl entered the Grand Hall, it would serve nothing now, to have the queen's temper rage. "Where have you been?" She asked in an accusing tone, "The city had been attacked by those Dragon's men! And the Queen was fooling around with the Dragon Reborn!"

Elayne stiffened visibly, Dyelin couldn't care less; the last few days were simply too much for her. "I was not fooling around with Rand!" Elayne said quietly, her voice strong and proud, the very image of the Queen of Andor.

"I don't care what you were doing with him!" Dyelin cried, "For all I care you could be playing stones with him or bedding him ever since the two of you were gone! Do you have any idea what happened here since you were gone?"

"I came as soon as I could, Dyelin." Elayne stated, "I'd... other duties save ruling Andor. Some of them are as important to me as Andor is."

"Then you've no right to be a Queen," Dyelin said without hesitation. "Have you forgotten all what you mother thought you? A queen places her country before anything else!" Dyelin looked at the girl that she was so fond of, once, before her own daughter gone like mist in a hot day and the city was ravaged by hordes of madmen that could channel.

"That is enough," A woman in boy's cloths, dark and short and as regal as Elayne stepped to face her, "You've no right to speak to her like this." Min, Dyelin recalled her name. Reene Harfor had her loyalties to Andor. And with Morgase dead and Elayne gone, she was the best eye-and-ear in the Lion Palace that Dyelin ever had. Of course, with Elayne returning, Reene's loyalty was to her. There would be no more so very useful reports from the woman who run the Lion Palace. A very interesting tidbit Reene had passed her was that apparently; Min and the Lord Dragon were lovers. Idly Dyelin wondered whatever Elayne had any knowledge about that, and what she thought about it.

"I have every right, girl." Dyelin told the woman sharply, "Since our Queen decided I should rule here in her absence, I would like to know why she was absence at the most critical moment to Andor in the last hundred years!"

"Leave her alone, Min." Elayne order, "We'll discuss the reason for my absence later, Dyelin, at length. Now, I want to know exactly what happened."

Dyelin took hold on herself, barely, "It began six days ago, Elayne." She said, "I was watching, as you instructed, when... chaos seemed to begin in the Black Tower. It's more than three miles away, but the night became day, and... I think that the Black Tower must have been burned to ashes, there was enough fire there to match the sun." Dyelin took a deep breath, that wasn't the end of it, not even the beginning. "The morning after, there were Asha'man all over the city."

Elayne became pale, "How many...?" Her voice trailed off, she seemed incapable of voicing her question. "How many did we lost?"

"About a thousand, more or less," It surprised her that her voice wasn't trembling, it should have, it surprised her she wasn't wailing. "All women. None of the bodies were founded." She blinked hastily, making her voice sound normal, sane. "Lerad, she seemed to be leading the maidens of the spear," She noticed that the third woman, an Aiel, with red hair and green eyes, Aviendha, nodded. According to Reene, there was no doubt that woman was the Dragon's lover until she disappeared one night, few days later, Min showed up. The Dragon was certainly a man; the only thing that didn't fit was why the three was ready to put up with that horrible treatment from a man that was no better than any lecher Dyelin met. A lecher with a good taste, maybe, all three women where more than beautiful, but Dyelin saw little difference between the Dragon's action and Gabriel's. It also give her enough proves that Elayne had no love for the Dragon Reborn. Both males and females of house Tarkand were known to be extremely jealous for the one they loved. She saw not the tiniest bit of jealously between the three women. "Lerad says that the women weren't killed, she refused to tell me what had been done with them, only that it's not much better than dying."

"Maidens had strange way looking at life, Dyelin." Birgitte said; Elayne's warder was shorter than the queen, but not a bit less beautiful. Dyelin had no idea what happened between the warder and the Dragon; she hoped to keep it that way. "I wouldn't have worried too much about it."

"Amelin is gone too," Dyelin said softly, "And Lyandra too." Amelin was her daughter, and she wouldn't have been the slightest worried about her had Lyandra hadn't been missing too, since they were six years old, none of them ever got to trouble on their on.

Elayne put a hand on her shoulder, "They are both fine, Dyelin." Her eyes were burning fury, but her voice was soft. She and Amelin and Lyandra were very good friends, before she went for the White Tower. "I believe I know what happened to them, and they should be as protected as possible. They wouldn't be safer in their beds." Elayne stepped forward, and pushed the Grand Hall's doors open. "I still meant to skin Rand for this, though." She said as the huge doors began to open.

"What was done to my daughter?" Dyelin demanded. But it was already too late. Elayne took one glance at the Grand Hall and turned to her.

The Queen's face was mix of shock and fury beyond limits. "Who did that?"

A cold part of Dyelin mind noted that Morgase done well, teaching the girl how to be a queen. The rest of her mind wanted to wail.

 

Shortly after being bonded to Logain, Halima reached a decision. She doubted if she would last long, not when she betrayed the Shadow. Since death was expected soon, Halima never hindered herself from saying, or doing, exactly what she wanted.

She continued doing so even after the Last Battle. Her philosophy can be summed into one sentence:

"As long as I'm alive, I'm about to enjoy it."

Logain is very much loved by the Asha'man, and half the reason for that are his warders. There was never an Asha'man turned down, asking help from the M'Hael or his warders. Logain complain is often, saying that: "The only thing impossible in the Black Tower is half a chance to get a good night sleep."

Despite his words, Logain is known to always listen to Asha'man in need. Halima, on the other hand, is known to tell a man exactly what he did wrong, and how he should solve his problem. Often enough, her advices are quite forward, more often, they aren't very pleasant to the Asha'man requiring help. Most of the time, she is right. But she never feared admitting she was wrong.

Strangely, she is loved for that even more. Not so surprising, most of those asking help from Halima are those who encountered troubles with women, whatever they are the Asha'man's warders or not. Halima, without a doubt, is the only person in the world, maybe the only ever, capable of understanding both points of view.

On some cases, her unique understanding was more than valuable. For example, soon after the Cleansing of saidin, when the Dragon Reborn...

The History of the Black Tower, volume II

By Elmindreda al'Thor

The Court of the Sun

The Forth Age

"I don't like it," Logain said to the - could he call it a man? He very much doubted it - that walked near him. The man Tall and blonde hair, with pale green eyes, more than handsome, with the Dark One itself dancing in his eyes.

"So?" The man shrugged, "I don't like you very much either."

"Halima," Logain signed, "Undo whatever it's that you did. I don't like this... show."

"The name, Logain, is Eval Ramman." The man said lightly, a smile appearing on his face.

"It would do you no good, you know. You can hold this weave till you will die, but it doesn't hinder the bond, nor does it change the fact that you are a woman, no matter how you look." Logain tried to make his voice reasonable. He truly hoped he succeeded, he hate to see Halima like this.

She laughed as the flows around her melt and gone. "If only you could see your face, Logain." He grimaced at her, but it only made her laugh harder.

For some time, they walked in silence, and fear increased in Halima's mind. Elayne made a mistake, weaving that gateway, Logain estimated, they were at least a mile from that glow only he seem to see. And they walked for half a mile already. Considering Elayne's temper, and Halima's words, he wouldn't have been surprised to find out that she did that on purpose.

Halima began to curse under her breath, her thoughts no doubt following his. He heard Elayne's name and a word he didn't recognize in the Old Tongue. The last few days, Halima expanded considerably his vocabulary on the dirtier parts of the Old Tongue, a very useful language, for cursing,at least.

"What is wrong?" He asked, trying to push worry aside, she would only become angrier, knowing that he was worry about her.

"I don't like this place! What do you think is wrong?" She glared at him like he dragged her here, what was only half true. "Tell me about yourself!" She ordered, "It might help if I listen to someone with the intelligence above average mice." She glanced at him again, and added: "Even if not that much beyond."

"What do you want to know?" Logain asked; if she wanted to here about him, she would have it. He doubt if she would like most of what she would hear.

"Start with the day you began to channel and continue from there," She told him, "Everything before would probably deadly boring." She grinned, as if she just said something funny, and it was funnier because he didn't understand.

"If you say so," He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remember, for a very long time, he pushed those memories away. Still, they weren't parts of him he could safely ignore. "I was... seventeen, I think. I'm not very sure," He ignored her scornful snort, and continued, "She was the Mayor's daughter," He could feel her stiffening; she opened her mouth and closed it with a stubborn look. Anger was clear, it was easy, making her angry, and she forgot being afraid any time she was even slightly upset. "As I said, I was seventeen, and her father caught us in the barn." Halima chuckled softly; he loved the sound of her voice.

"What have you done?" She asked, whatever she felt, she felt with all her heart, with no place to other emotion, curiosity swallowed everything else in her, she would pry the information out of him if he would refuse to give it to her, not that he had any intention refusing.

"I did nothing." He told her, "All I knew is that her father was coming, shouting like a horde of angry cows, and then I was in another place."

She said a word he didn't recognized in the Old Tongue, it didn't sound like a curse: "You've never been able to remember how you did it, haven't you?" She didn't wait to his nod, "No one have, no one ever!" He stared at her, and she rose her eyes to him, "Carry on, what are you waiting for?"

"As I was saying, before you interrupted me, I was suddenly elsewhere, Saldea, as I discovered later, with my skin alone. And it was winter!" He added at her laugh. She ignored him, "Considering the Saldean women's reputation, and my condition, you can draw conclusions yourself about the way I got new cloths." He stole them, but she had no need to know that. He had heard the rumors about Saldean women; he had no wish to spend the rest of his life in Saldea. She grimaced at him for a moment, then her face cleared, even if it was for a heartbeat only.

They stepped out of the burned area Halima created, and the woman wove fire with much more fiercely than she did before. "That is quite enough!" She said.

"Jealous?" He inquired, and prayed silently. The only answer he got was an arrogant sniff.

He didn't speak a word as they came closer and closer to the glowing light ahead of them. As they were two hundred feet from the glow, walking down a small hill, Halima grunted, there was another hill just ahead of them, and the glow he doubt if Halima could see.

"That tree..." Halima whispered, all Logain could see was few spikes of a tall tree, he thought it must be an oak, yet there were no oaks in the Blight. She began to run suddenly, leaving him gaping at her back. The fool woman didn't even kept her hold on saidin!

"Wait, you obsequious sheep!" He shouted after her, then, muttering few more chosen words, he began to run after her. She was very fast, catching up with her; he gripped her arm and pulled her to a full stop.

She didn't try to pull her arm out of his hand; she simply stopped, staring. Logain held saidin to the point where exultation became pain. He could hear her heart beating, air being suck into her lungs. His hands touched the fabric of her coat; the finest silk money could buy. Still rough compare to her skin. He shake his head, sending those thoughts away, it was all too easy to fall into that special trap with saidin, especially now, when the sweetness of saidin was overwhelming.

"What is wrong?" He asked; making his voice soft was hard, very hard. He doubted if she noticed him, her eyes were glazed, with terror. Of all things! He could see no reason for that feeling. No shadowspawn survived a mile from here; Halima already took care of that. And he saw nothing to cause such fright in the tree she was looking at.

She paid him no mind; she walked as if in a dream, completely unaware of her surrounding. In the Blight, that could be fatal. "Someshta!" It was half a whisper, half a shout. She began to shake; Logain saw tears in her eyes. Enough was enough, and burn her for refusing to tell him what was wrong!

"There is nothing to be afraid of, Halima." He whispered to her hair, wrapping his arms around her and placing her head against his shoulder.

"You don't understand," She told him, sobbing, her voice utterly broken, "No one can!"

He raised a barrier of saidin around them, as strong as he could make, and held her until her tears ran out. Part of him was glad of the tears, they would release much within her, she didn't talk about it, maybe didn't even think about it, but he knew what one result of the bond must be. She was no longer the woman she was, the bond changed as little as possible, but with Halima, that meant much. No longer the woman she was, she couldn't accept her actions in the past. Couldn't accept being of the dark. The struggled inside her, even if went beneath the level of her awareness, weakened her, crying, even for another reason entirely; would help. Logain knew that of personal experience, although he much rather not think about those horrible times when the One Power was unreachable to him. Tears often helped, here, they might be the only way for her to heal.

And so all Logain did for his warder was holding her to him, while she cried. Hug her tightly while she cried like a broken heart child. Hold her while she clutched to him and hope that she draw some comfort of his presence. Hold her and cursed wordlessly because there was nothing he could do to help her. Hold her until her tears would run out.

"I... I don't usually do this," She said finally, eyes red and voice shaky. "I don't think I cried since I was a child."

"Then it was a very good, considering your lack of practice." He told her, she didn't step away from him, he was right; crying made it easier. And he was arrogant, selfish aardvark. Whatever aardvark was, a word in the Old Tongue not even Leane and Toviene seem to understand. Halima called him aardvark once; he deserved every curse she ever voiced and more. There were more important things to think about now, much more important than her in his arms. "Could you tell me now why you're so afraid?"

Tears washed fear, for a while yet, at least. "That tree," She whispered into his chest, the bond had its advantages; "his name is Someshta." He could feel her taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself, she failed, and he hugged her harder. "He killed me," her voice savage and fearful and angry at the same time.

"The tree?" Logain asked incredibly.

"Yes, the tree." She didn't shout that, and that make him more worry of her than he would have had she shouted and throw tantrums. "The last of the Nym, named in this age the Green Man." She began to cry once more, no longer sobs that shock her from head to toe, but silent tears that slide down beautiful face. Tears of grief stronger than one could, or should, have felt.

He considered the situation for a moment, "I'll take you... to the Dragonmount," for a moment there, he wanted to say home. "Rand can wait for a little while."

"No!" It was weak sound, but an order still, "I can handle it. I know I can."

Be that as it may be, he still didn't let her move beyond arm reach. She walked straight to the tree, an oak that seemed to be there since the beginning of time. Logain saw the residue of flows of saidin, a ward to defend that tree, but a ward that seemed to be created by a child the first time touching saidin, and another weave that were tied strongly, much stronger, much more focus, much more efficient. Rand's weaving, the later, at least, he had no idea who might have woven the first ward. "And so we meet again," Halima whispered, stretching trembling hand to touch the trunk. "The Light alone knows how much I hate you." There was a spark of emotions within her, anger, with others, that emotion would have been called burning fury, with Halima, it was mild anger. Crying emptied her of all emotions; it often did, for men and women both. "I can destroy it, now. I always wanted to, I could never come here, before, I was too... afraid." Halima said slowly, her eyes focusing on him, "That ward would never stop me, it will take a moment of two only to finish it. Then I might have some peace." He had the uncomfortable feeling that she was saying it more than to herself alone, it sound very much as if she was begging him to allow her this.

Logain sighed, he truly hated doing it, "Do as you please, Halima." He told her, "If you think that destroying this tree will help you sleep better, then burn the tree, or rip it apart." It wasn't a matter of using the power, not exactly, but the bond gave him some tools to control her. Now he used one, it was hard, very hard. He fought to keep the sweat out of his face; fought harder to control his doing, keep it strong enough to her to feel it, keep it weak enough she wouldn't know the source of it.

Somehow, he knew, it was very important moment.

"They appeared seemingly from no where, though the rumors of their presence in the city had been rampaging for some time by the time they appeared in the Palace." Dyelin told Elayne. The woman stared at the mess in the Grand Hall with wide eyes. Most would've, at first glance, and at the second and at the tenth. "The guards did not see them as they entered the palace, and even when noticed, they could not be removed."

Dyelin shivered at the memory, the black coated men, Asha'man, skipped about in a curiously child-like manner, glee written all over their faces, and could not be caught. Like dust in the wind, they slipped right the hands of any who tried to grasp them. Arrows seemed to divert from them, and no one got close enough to run them through with a sword. "They were not striking back. No, they seemed oblivious to all save their own demonstrated bliss. It was simply that the arrows and daggers that sped through the air towards them seemed to, inevitably, fall short." Dyelin didn't like remembering what happened next, Amelin was gone soon after that, with no one to keep an eye on her in the chaos that ruled in the Lion Palace. She and Sheraen, her husband, were too busy to notice that their daughter and her childhood friend were gone until it was too late.

Bright ribbons of color were left behind all over the Lion Palace: brilliant blood red, metallic and shimmering silver, rich royal purple, golden glimmering yellow, midnight sky blue, and so many others. Sparks lit the air, heatless fire, trailing on those same ribbons. Images still formed in the air, half fantasies and dreams, long after the men were gone.

The Asha'man burst into rooms, the ribbons of color on following them. Shattering priceless furniture, while the men, unaware of the damage they caused, laughed in joy, eyes beaming in ecstasy and madness. When, at last, they entered the Grand Hall, they traipsed about, blissfully tossing aside those soldiers that pursued them, almost unaware of their presence. The soldiers where simply pushed aside, by strength above any human capability, sliding down limply, alive and unharmed, but dazed. Yells echoed through the room, twining into the Asha'man's brilliant laughter, child-like in its intensity, seductive in its adult richness. They remained in the palace for the space of four or five hours only, but it was more than enough.

The Grand Hall was where most of the damage was done.

"I see," Elayne said with a voice that held no emotion whatsoever. Dyelin glanced as the Grand Hall, fury rising in her despite that she saw it before. The Lion Throne flouted ten feet in the air, overturned, in its place on the dais there was... something, red and blue and gray, constantly changing shapes if not colors. That wasn't all, looking up; Dyelin almost winced as she saw the mustaches and beards on the ancient queens.

"The Light burns my soul!" A male voice whisper in awe, "I almost sorry that I missed this," A tall young man, clad in black, with two pins on his collar, his hair done in Arafelian style, and accent to match.

"Oh, Jahar Narishma?" Elayne said in a frozen voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Leane, Logain's... warder, told me to come here. She thought you might need help, and she needed me to take her here beside." The man said, apparently unaffected by Elayne's voice. He had very disturbing set of eyes, Dyelin had the feeling they saw right into her skull. "By what I've seen so far, I alone wouldn't suffice." The Lion Throne began to turn, it still flouted in the air, but at least it flouted with legs down and seat up. The... thing that shined where the Lion Throne should have been winked out, and the throne settled down on the dais.

"I want the head of the Asha'man who did it, Narishma." Elayne said, her voice utterly normal. "Then I would like to have his hide, I would have him entirely, piece by piece."

The man shrugged, "It might happen to be just a little difficult, Elayne." He said, by his voice, the two knew each other. "At least three dozens were involved in it, there are too many difference in the style to be much less." One by one, beards and mustaches were gone from the faces of queen hundreds of years old.

"Then I would like all their heads, and the rest too." Elayne lost her composure in a flash; the man was thrown to the air and flouted three feet above the ground. "Do you hear me? I want them, and I want them dead!"

"For some reason," Aviendha said coolly, "I don't think Rand would favor that." Her eyes traveled around the room, "But they did encouraged much toh to you, Elayne. It would serve nothing, killing them without having them paying for their deeds will serve no cause." Min nodded seriously, did none save her saw the impossibility of Elayne's words?

"While you decide what you would like to do with them," The man said patiently, not at all intimidated by the fact that he was flouting in the air. "I would like to be on the ground while I untie the flows."

"Do you know what happened to my daughter?" Dyelin asked; no one else seemed ready to tell her, making her voice polite was the hardest thing she ever did in her life.

"Your daughter?" The man titled his hand to one side, "Who is she? And why do you think I would know what happened to her?"

"Her name is Amelin Taravin," Dyelin said, blocking worries and anger, she could surrender to them later, after she will strangle her daughter. "And she was gone, along with more than a thousand women from the city, while the Asha'man raved in the streets."

"Oh," The man landed on the ground suddenly, his face troubled, "There might be a small problem here." He told her, Elayne made a move as if to hash him, but Dyelin glare at her hard enough to make her reconsider. Nothing will stop her from her daughter.

"What is that little problem of yours?" Dyelin asked, no longer bothering to control her voice.

"Your daughter is now..." The man glanced at the four women that stood near her, and seemed to think again about the words he was about to say, "She is with an Asha'man, his warder, most likely." He told her, not a sign of mockery on his face. Elayne patted her shoulder, trying to look comforting thought her face was still fixed in a grimace.

"It's not that bad," The man said, "And you've no need to worry about her safety, her Asha'man will guard her life with his own."

No one tried to stop her as she walked to the man, a good thing, she would have murdered anyone who would have placed himself in her way. Her husband and daughter excluded; of course, anybody seemed trying to stop her, when she slapped the man's face, hard.

Logain signed, she could feel distaste strongly in him, "Do as you please, Halima." He told her, "If you think that destroying this tree will help you sleep better, then burn the tree, or rip it apart." Halima touched the tree again, lying spread hand on its trunk. The Light alone knew how much she hated it.

The Light alone, She shocked her head, cursing Logain and the bond wordlessly. Something happened to her, soon after Logain took her as his warder, a change in the way she thought, act, behaved. Balthamel died here, she tried hard not to see the skeletal hand that was half revealed under the tree's roots.

She felt very strange, in any other place, she would have said that someone had just walked over her grave. Now, it was she, the one who walked on her own grave, only it wasn't her grave, it was his grave, Balthamel's grave. She very much wanted to cry, her head leaned on the surface of the tree's trunk. The tree that killed her, but somehow, she felt better, much better. She didn't glance at Logain, but she would have bet her very soul, her very life, that he was responsible for that. "I do hate you, Someshta." She told the tree, her voice unsteady, "You began all of this," She made sure Logain could barely hear her, even with saidin in him. "You killed me once, and now I'm to die again." Irritation and fear stroke through Logain and gone, "Whatever it's by the hands of the Dragon Reborn or one of the Shadow's slaves. Sooner or later, it's you who will have the last laugh." She patted the trunk slowly, mind trembling, she felt almost lightheaded. Knowing that Logain was doing it, whatever it was, helped. She stared at the tree for a moment, she had the disturbing feeling it stared right back at her. "I meant to laugh as long as I live, Someshta." She told her killer, her voice now too low even for Logain to hear. "And as long as I live, as short as that may be, I meant to be who I am." No more games, no more hiding.

"Logain," She began to say, turning away from the tree, "I want you - " Something fell from the tree, and she threw herself to the left, grasped saidin, and channeled, all in the same instance.

An acorn hanged in the air, small acorn, had it fell on her, it might have mess her hair a bit, but that was all the harm it could do. She began laughing, she couldn't stopped herself as she rose to her feet, her entire body shaking with laugher. "As much as I enjoy to hear you laughing," Logain said wryly after a while, a long while: "I think that we should reach Rand, and I doubt if he would appreciate you laughing about as we try to convince him to go back." But his words, and his tone, only made her laugh harder.

"Hysterical!" Logain muttered loudly, and added a decidedly unpleasant curse, she was suddenly aware of him raising her head to meet his eyes. She saw, from the edge of her eye, his raised hand as if he meant to slap her.

The slap never landed. Instead, he bent his head to kiss her.

That certainly caught her attention, every shred of it, and muted every wish to laugh.

"Why?" She asked when she finally managed to break the kiss if not his hold on her. She had no need to explain her question any further.

"Slapping you is near impossible," He said, shrugging, "and kissing would have the same affect with - "

She didn't let him finish, "Please bury... this, Logain." She told him, looking at him with eyes that shined with tears, and pointed at the half buried skeleton, "He hadn't had anything decent in his life. I think Balthamel deserve a decent grave at least." She sent a hand to catch the acorn; still flouting in the air on the flows she wove. Then she turned her back to them, tree and man and the skeleton of the man she once was, and began to pace quickly toward the Eye of the World.

He sat on the cold stone floor, cross legs, on the bottom of the stairs, there was a small room there, enough so the echoes will vibrate through him. Asmodean would have love the place, he thought. As it was, the music washed through him, inside him, yet it didn't touch him, nothing seemed able to touch him. But the music flows from the flute he made, saidin used by him to create something, instead of ruining it, music completely unheard in this age, the music drawn from memories of a long dead madman, but the skill at the flute, at least, was his.

Memories danced in his head along with the music, golden hair and blue eyes, dancing with him, laughing, kissing. None of those memories he deserved. Blue eyes, dead, empty, staring accusingly at him. Golden hair spread over the floor, the group shaking, as if not even the stone could bear his touch.

Blue eyes, live, full of anger and fury and grief, staring accusingly at him, so long after his deeds done. Traps! The voice echoed in his mind, the same as the music echoed inside the room, bouncing from one room to the other, over and over and over, strengthening with every bounce. There is no escape the traps you weave for yourself, he remembered Lews Therin saying once. And also, only a greater power can break a power, and then you're trapped again, trapped forever so you can never die. He said it out loud, tasting the words.

The music hadn't pause, he used saidin to play the flute, faster than any human could ever be, bringing the music to new levels of beauty. It was emotionless, though, emotionless like the void that surrounded him.

Emotionless like Ilyena's eyes, an age ago, heartbeats after he killed her.

She didn't glanced at the symbol imprintedhigh on the arched opening that led into the small building, the last that remained of her own age. The acorn was safely in her pocket. The walls around her were made of glowing bricks, but time did much to destroy even what was created with the One Power. Many of the bricks were dark; many others glistened weakly, on the point of becoming dark. The result was twilight, casting deep shadows, with just enough light for her to see, not enough to uncover secrets long hidden.

Leniredal Morelile Chamog, her mind called, the first she had killed, long before the War of Power, long before she even joined the shadow. And there was Honek Feral, and then... her memory was perfect, always. She remembered names, books, events, songs, anything, in absolute perfection. Now, her mind brought up every sin she ever did, every man or woman she tortured, raped or killed. She could sum them up, but there was no point in numbers, as she knew well, ten millions or twenty millions, the moment you began counting, it lost the quality of it, lost what make sin hard to bear. Only it was never hard to bear before, only now, after Logain had bonded her. After the bond change who she was, and what she was.

The changes were deep, and strong, and left the surface all but unharmed.

There was a flight of stairs, leading down, and music that made her freeze in her place for a long time.

Halima walked down the stairs to the sound of The March of Death, the first stair brought to her memory every rage and tantrum she threw in her life. The second brought the victims, a line with no end, numbers that were meaningless, but the sorrow tore her heart to pieces. On the third stair she replayed every murder she ever did or caused, since waking and before, in this body and the one before. She still recalled all her sins in the forth and the fifth stairs, and in the tenth as well, even though it hardly took her any time, searching her vast memory. There were empty holes there, death erased some of her memory, as did the long sleep in the Pit of Doom, trapped just beneath the surface of the seal, the Wheel of Time affected the body, but not the mind. Even now, she shivered uncontrolled, remembering that time.

Halima stepped down the stairs that led to the very heart of the Eye of the World, the sounds of the March of Death dancing around her, tears sliding along her cheeks without her even being aware of it. An endless list being read in her mind, and each name was branded on her heart. Murders, rapes, tortures, corpses in numbers that shook her now never disturbed her one little bit before. It did now, more than she thought she could bear.

Lews Therin sat on the bottom stair, a flute dancing in the air, no hand touched it, but it produced The March of Death in tones sadder than Halima thought possible. "Why here?" She asked, her voice heavy with the tears. "Why here?"

"This is where it all began, Eval Ramman, where I took the first steps on the path that led me to the cleansing, to - " He cut off abruptly, she didn't care, for him, it was the beginning, for her, it was only the end.

"It's very disappointing for you, I know." She told the man as she sat next to him, smiling softly at the breach she wore, and moping tears from her face at the same time. She never thought that a pair of breach could be a reason to be overjoyed. He barely glanced at her, the flute continued to play, and the tones saddened. Logain came near, she could feel him.

"What should I be disappointed about?" Lews Therin asked sharply suddenly, his eyes were focused on the flute.

"Ilyena," Halima answered without a heartbeat of hesitation, she preferred herself to defend herself, but she knew where the conversation had to take them. "It's always disappointing to see a job not well done." The flute fell to the ground, and she rose to pick it up, a fine flute, although she hardly knew anything about flutes, it reminded her the old times, "She should have stayed dead, of course, that way, it would have been much more comfortable to you. Those... girls of yours wouldn't be angry of you, for a start. You wouldn't have to explain Ilyena why you've killed her, your children. There was no need to decide what you'll do with Ilyena. Will you take her, too, as a warder? I've reasons to believe that the other three will have something to say about that, not to mention Ilyena. You can't, of course, simply send your warders away," That was almost a complete sum of all what she understood from the weave she remembered, it was complex beyond belief, and, by everything she knew, fatal. Anyone using that weave would die instantly. She noted herself asking Logain about it. She did twice before, yet he seemed to have a talent in evading questions he had no wish to answer.

"It could have been worse," Logain said suddenly, giving her a start, she forget paying attention to the bond, now he walked down the stairs, a big, dark, man. Almost too big to be real, everything in him was huge, even his presence. She could easily see him leading an army, he was much like Lews Therin in this, both men could capture the attention of any in the room simply by enterring it.

Lews Therin stood suddenly, and distanced himself from her and Logain, "How?" He demanded to know, "How can it be worse, when it's already the worst possible? Tell me, Logain Albar, how?"

"Look at me and then you'll understand," Halima growled at him, "How much you've loved to have Ilyena in a man's body?" Standing, she stretched herself to every inch of her height, which wasn't much, "Six feet tall, full of muscles and as ugly as a new born Trolloc!" She understood suddenly that she was glaring, but not at Lews Therin, at Logain, who stared at her with amazement in his eyes, feeling hurt. The man bloody well deserved it.

Logain brushed her as he moved closer to Lews Therin, one hand slide over her cheek; he somehow made it seem accidental. "You shouldn't be crying," He whispered to her before turning his face to Lews Therin. He walked toward the taller man until they was only a foot between them. "You're very arrogant, Rand al'Thor." He said softly, "Hiding here, sulking, while the world out there need you." Lews Therin was a little higher then Logain, with Logain being noticeably bigger.

Lews Therin always reminded her of the great cats, strength hidden under smooth fur, speed covered with laziness. She wondered idly what would happened to her own cats, they wouldn't need much care in a day or so, she wanted to see Lews Therin's face, and Logain's, seeing what she had made.

Lews Therin resembled the great cats, lean and tall and fast. He even walked like a cat, without making any sound, and he was deadlier than any cat could ever be, her cats included. Logain, on the other hand, reminded her bears; she often typed people that way, by what they reminded her, often, it make sense, as often, it didn't.

She tapped with one finger on her lips, yes, a bear would fit, those huge bears that extinct in the Breaking. Twelve feet tall and nearly invulnerable, Logain gave the same impression as they once did, as if he was strong enough to support the world with one hand, too big to be real. And still, despite his height, he was neither clumsy nor slow. She was attacked by one of those bears once, as she was by Logain, both nearly killed her, of course, the bear lost at the end, unlike Logain.

"Leave me," The command was delivered with such strength behind her that Halima froze, she could do the same; it was a matter of self-confidence, nothing more. And the Light knows that Lews Therin never lacked that, she didn't like this being used against her. It was almost compulation, orders that went below consciousness.

"It would do no good, trying to talk with him," Logain said to her, ignoring the man he stood next to. She threw the flute at him, Logain caught it with one hand; he didn't even have the manners to make it look hard.

"He's holding too much inside," Halima said, then she smiled, "I know just the right thing for him to do."

"I'm here," Lews Therin said coldly, "just in case you've not noticed it."

"I noticed, Lews Therin," She told him, walking toward him. "Believe me, I noticed." Nothing showed on Logain face, but fury burned him from the inside, it made her want to laugh. She stooped less than a foot from Lews Therin. Fury became stronger in Logain, and jealously, for some reason. She shrugged it off, she could think about it later. With all her strength, and with saidin to her aid, she stroke with a fist at Lews Therin's jaw. It came to him as a complete surprise, with no time to defend himself or evade the fist. Had she wasn't using saidin it wouldn't have matter. There was nothing she could do to harm him with the strength of her body alone. She did use saidin, however, and he flew upward, reaching nearly ten feet above the ground, before he fell back. Logain caught him, as easily as if Lews Therin weights nothing. Both jealously and fury were gone, anger was visible, with amusement and relief.

"Why?" Logain asked as he laid the other man on the floor. Halima was grateful that Lews Therin lost his consciousness; she didn't want to do that again. "Why?" Logain asked again, she didn't bother answering him, her hand hurt; she puffed on it, even the touch on air against her bruised knuckles hurt.

She glared at Logain, and then at Lews Therin, it was their fault. She might have to think for a while to come up with the exact how, but it was their fault. "He need to release much within himself, and he wouldn't have come with us to where he need to go." And as long as they were talking about releasing what one felt, she kicked the man on the floor, twice, before Logain stopped her. "I can't tell you for how long I wanted to do this." She told Logain; before she let her head lie on his shoulder and eased her body. She nearly fell before he caught her.

"Are you mad?" Logain asked sharply.

She began laughing suddenly, a throaty sound that still made her want to seek the woman who made it; it seemed like nothing she could produce. "Probably, Logain." She told him, "Now, pick him up while I make the gateway, you don't know this place well enough." She knew this place like she knew no other. She also knew the place she was going to, the closest thing in this age to what she used to call home.

Two falcons soared in the skies, wheeling and playing in the blue and gray light of a dawn not yet woken. Samira watched them through the open window, the only room that she had seen with windows on, the others she had seen had with anything resembling windows had big gaps in the walls, and were nearly frozen. Devon was far away, and she could imagine that she was all alone in the world.

For a moment she wondered what Devon was doing. It had been almost five days since she last saw him, and not a word came from him, not that she cared, of course. She never left her rooms since she had been brought to Dragonmount. Until few hours ago, she found this room after she got lost, when hunger became too strong to ignore, she didn't care much were she was, and the beauty shown through the window was amazing. So she stayed. Being inside the fabled mountain could rouse little interest even in her. Devon might have thought that it would be safer to have her here, within the hollow heart of Dragonmount. She felt him coming near three hours ago, but he didn't try to search her, or to talk to her as he tried before. Maybe he had gone mad, the way he suddenly began to laugh and smile and then disappeared through one of those gateways.

It didn't matter. Nothing did.

It was so peaceful now; early in the morning with the double windows open so the sweet breezes could caress her face. Dragonmount, the monument of Lews Therin Kinslayer's love and agony for an Aes Sedai named Ilyena. Sometimes she wondered whether it was irony that had made Rand al'Thor choose this as a hiding place, so the Asha'man had told her, a dark man that seemed to be too big to be real, when he brought her to this place. Samira thought he might have tried to calm her down.

Tar Valon glimmered in the distance, a pale blur not so far away. She had spent many years of her life there, most of them happy ones. She had been lucky; even in the splitting of the Tower, not much had changed in her life. Happy memories, yet there seemed little urgency. The Tower, her duty, and indeed the world outside seemed so irrelevant now.

The falcons drew up with showy screams, and as one they plummeted down, dark bolts on swift wings. She soon saw the cause of it, a lone eagle in the sky, drifting lazily.

How she had loved the idea of flight as a child! It was a passion that had survived even adulthood, that time when most tender fragile things such as dreams die in unmarked graves. Things that flew fascinated her, and sometimes she bought caged birds just to set them free, to watch them spring like arrows from a bow out of captivity and into the sky. It had taught her one thing: flight was freedom. As children, she and Sarad had often argued about what happened when a person died. Of course, they waited for the Wheel to birth them into the world again, but where did they go in the meantime? They had had a theory.... she recalled, a child's dream, but...

The eagle called once. Twice. It was taking slow, graceful circles, just a little above the level of her window. It seemed to her that it was waiting, calling her, and watching her with Sarad's golden eyes. Each bird was the soul of a person waiting to be woven into the Pattern again, and as birds they flew free, even the Friends of the Dark, who took flight on midnight wings to give their vision to their master.

Some birds mate for life. Some, like the eagle, the goose, the falcon, the stork and the swan, are never parted. To be together forever, or at least until the Wheel of Time turned a spoke once more. The eagle looked at her with familiar gold - brown eyes. It seemed to her that she saw it smile.

"Wait for me, Sarad! I'm coming." This was a good day to test her theory of flight, but in order to fly, she knew, one must first fall.

"The last time I entered such a place, I lost six months." Logain said, setting Lews Therin on a table, the man still hadn't waken, and show no sign he was about to wake soon. Halima's fist still hurt. She would have kicked the man again, or hit him few times with saidin, he felt like he was made of stone.

"Oh, what happened?" Halima wondered idly. She glanced at the room, filthy and smelly, the floor was covered with rotten hay, stained with drinks and blood. The bar was in one side, shaky and old and unpleasant to look at. "Jelon," She called the man that once owned The Light's End, the name still amused her.

"I woke in the Blight, with a crazy idea about reaching to the Pit of Doom and killing the Dark One." Logain grimaced, "And with the worse headache possible."

"Yes, lady?" Jelon came quickly; she didn't use saidin on him; only fear and money tied him to her, as tightly as she was tied to Logain or more. Jelon didn't seem the slightest surprise to see her with Logain, or that Logain held Lews Therin like a baby, as if the big man weighted nothing. What she was sure he noted was her laugh.

"I thought I told you to take a bath," She comment, even in her standards, he was too dirty and smelly and full of fleas and ticks to get in touch with.

"I did, Lady! Last week!"

Halima sighed inward, "Since when getting wet in a rain mean bath?" She asked Jelon, she liked the man. "Give us the strongest drink you have, not the one with the mice in it, I warn you, and then jump into the sea."

"Yes, Lady." Jelon's face took a grave expression.

"And I don't want to hear how much you're attached to that... thing on your back, put something else, the Light knows I pay you enough to buy a noble's cloths." She added.

"Yes, Lady." Jelon sighed heavily, "I will do as you please."

"You pay him," Logain inquired softly, very softly, "Why? He's nothing but a sack of flees that smell like a three days dead rotten Trolloc."

"Two days," She corrected him. Unfortunately, smells were memorized too, "Not three days." She ignored his eyes, it was easy to do, as she found out; maybe she should practice that. The Light's End was full of its usual... customers, all men; few women dare enter such places. Halima heard that death was the best thing a woman could find here, of personal experience, she rather have anything else. Anything! There were more scars visible here than in any room full with old soldiers. And not one here save Lews Therin or Logain she would have trusted not to sell his own mother if he would find the price appropriated. She gave them all a wide grin; the affect was visible. She was, so far, unharmed only because of Logain, towering near her. Those men simply wait for a chance to rape her; she waited for that eagerly. She had to hold her temper for far too long.

She took a chair that didn't look like it would collapse under her weight, as light as she was, now. And turned it so her back would be turned to the wall. Lews Therin lay on the nearest table. Logain sat very close to her, he was cautious not to turn his back at the men too. Steel whispered against leather as his pulled out his sword and laid it on the table, easily visible. Halima stuck an elbow in his ribs, "Don't ruin everything!" She told him.

"You want to be raped?" He raised an eyebrow and looked arrogant. "If so, you wouldn't have to come here, you could have simply told me."

She put her hand on his throat very gently, "Logain," She whispered at his ear, "Keep those thoughts for yourself." Then, just to make a point, she bite his ear, hard, and moved away as fast she could, avoiding his startle jump.

"Blood and Ashes!" He shouted, rising to his feet in one quick motion, sending the rocky table to the floor, "Light, woman! Can't you, just once, let go of me?" He turned his head to the other men in the room; the word tavern didn't fit this place. "Do any of you want her? I'm willing to sell her in a very reasonable price." Taking back his seat, one hand clutching his ear and staring at her with victory in his eyes, "I lie, of course," He said to her ears alone. Bending to lift the table back to its original position. "I'm not going to be reasonable with anyone, you will be sold for quite a price, I expect."

"Logain," She told him sweetly, Lews Therin moaned weakly, she ignored the man, "Have you ever been plunged, head first, into a wall?"

"Twice," He told her, smiling widely, thinking he said the last word.

"You want it to happen a third time?" She meant to say more, but stopped short as Jelon came near, holding a tray with seven huge tankards full with liquid. "Drink something," she told Logain when Jelon set the tray on their table. "And you, go take a bath!" Jelon sighed, but she knew he would do as she ordered. "But first, Jelon," She told the man, who stopped and beamed at her, "Put a tankard down this man's throat, gently, I want him to survive it." Jelon nodded quickly, anything to delay the bath was fine by him.

"What is it?" Logain asked slowly, "It smell like the inside of a Trolloc." Lews Therin sounded as if he was being strangled to death; Jelon did his job well. He showed her the empty tankard with a smile that revealed black and yellow teeth, where he had them. Only half the tankard was spilled on Lews Therin, the other went down his throat.

"Very good, Jelon, now, a bath, I would like to be able to breath near you." Jelon wasn't offended, only mournful as he walked outside the tavern. "You don't drink it for the smell of it, Logain!" She told Logain, taking a small sip, trying hard not to cough herself to death. Her new body didn't know how to handle such things, she truly hope it would learn, she meant to keep drinking.

"You drink it because it's the easiest way to die?" Logain asked, "Or because the morning after even you would like to die."

"Be quiet," She muttered, Lews Therin moaned again, "Put him in a chair and make him drink one of those. "

"Are you absolutely sure it wouldn't kill him?" Logain teased her, but he did as she asked.

Lews Therin only began to wake when Logain put a tankard in his hand and ordered him to drink it. Halima winced as she watched the man drinking. He coughed for half a minute after the first sip, but he continued drinking. Slowly his eyes focused on her. "Never even consider doing such thing to me again, Halima Albar." He told her slowly, one hand rubbing his jaw, the other holding the tankard. Logain's face took an interesting color, something between green and burning red.

"My name is not Albar." She told the red hair man scornfully, trying hard to hold her temper, the man was already half drunk, Lews Therin didn't drunk much; Rand al'Thor followed him, apparently. He had at least half a tankard in him already, and the man was already half way emptying his second tankard, he had to be drunk. What they drunk didn't seem to have a name, but it was bloody strong.

"You hadn't told her yet?" Lews Therin asked Logain between coughs. "You're Halima Albar, and there is Leane Albar, and Toviene Albar, and there would be more Albars, soon. Much more, I would expect." He took another huge sip and coughed for some time, "A lot of little Albars," He continued after some time, Logain face were certainly green. He felt sick, if the Lord Dragon was right, he would feel much more... uncomfortable very soon. "Have you impregnate any of them by now?" Lews Therin asked.

Logain silently took a tankard, looked at it for a moment, and then he set it back down. "To the best of my knowledge, I didn't. Halima wasn't ready to participate." Logain answered quietly. He stretched a hand to put on the opening of her tankard. "You can drink it, Halima." He advised her, "But don't expect me not to make acid comments tomorrow's morning when I'll have to hold your head above the washbasin while you threw up everything you ever ate in your life." Glaring at him, she lowered her head and tried to bite him, his hand was gone like mist. "Do you have some flavor for human's flesh, Halima?" Logain asked, then he began to smile, "Or is it my flesh only you seem so eager to taste." Calm, Halima reminded herself as she rose, calm, she reminded herself again when she took the tankard near her and threw it at Logain, holding his head with saidin, the flows thorn apart a moment too late. Halima winced at his pain. He didn't curse, a reason to worry, he just looked at her, dripping... unnamed drink and...

"Keep your tongue clean," Halima told him, Lews Therin clapped his hand, and some other men as well.

"Hot temper as always," Lews Therin said, "And your taste at choosing places to enjoy at hadn't changed a bit, hadn't it? Where are we, for that matter? This place reminded me of Kiloner Deris." Halima smiled, remembering the tavern with the worst reputation in the world, they were much the same, in truth.

"Tear," Logain answered, he didn't wipe his face, just looked at her. "A tavern named The Light's End, if you can believe it."

"Oh, I can, easily." Lews Therin replayed, setting down an empty tankard and taking another, "Eval Ramman always like places that smelled worse than a battle field in a hot day." Halima winced at the name she once had. She stared at her tankard in amazement; too much of it was gone. She sat it carefully outside, she believed Logain, and he seemed to have a sharp tongue at need.

"You still like them, I see." Lews Therin told her.

"I see no reason to change that," Halima told the man slowly. Calm, you idiot, stay calm!

"I see;" Logain said, "More than one." He stretched a hand as if to touch her, she bared her teeth at him. And he snatched his hand back. Lews Therin laughed.

Halima put her face between her hands, elbows leaned on the table, and wondered silently how did she reached here. "You wanted to live forever," Lews Therin said suddenly, giving her a start, she thought she had better control on herself than to voice her thoughts.

Logain took a tankard, by his expression; he meant to drown the conversation in the drink.

"Considering that you led the Light," Halima told him, "it was much safer among the Shadow."

"Safer!" Lews Therin roared, "How could it be safer in a place where the easiest way to achieve a higher rank is to kill those above you."

Halima lost all hold on her temper, "With your battle tactics?" She shouted at the man, "Your idea of winning a battle is to gamble against all odds."

Lews Therin stared at her, giving her his pull attention, a disturbing thing; he seemed to be able to read her mind. "And I won!"

"How many time even ta'veren can win, playing against the rules of probability?" She was furious, "At the end, it was only a matter of time before you would have lost. We stopped you and your army, Demandred and Bel'al were already invading our territories, it was a matter of time alone, and yours run out!"

"And at the end, I won still!" Lews Therin hissed, "No battle I commanded was lost!"

"There is a difference between not losing in battles and winning battles!" She shouted at him, "What about Paran Desen?"

"What about Paran Desen?" The man roared, Logain emptied half a tankard in one huge swallow, he didn't coughed once, and he raised the tankard to take another, "I won the bloody battle!"

"And how, you risked the entire world because of you being arrogant! What would have happened had Ishmael chose to stand and fight instead of fleeing? What would have happened had you lost? I'm fully aware that you're arrogant enough to think you'll survive anything, but you couldn't let your pride affect you while your gambling with the Dark One! Not when the world is on the stake!"

"Paran Desen in the spring, do you remember anything more beautiful?" Lews Therin sighed into his tankard.

"I rather had the Sharon," Halima said, "There was much... fun there." Logain looked sick. "I think I liked the Academy most, however."

"It was a beautiful place as well," Lews Therin agreed, "Although I don't doubt that your reasons differ than mine. You left only few hearts unbroken by the time you finished the academy." Logain's face became just the slightest green, and he felt sick, and miserable. For some reason, it made her smile, widely. "Those were good times, the good old days." Lews Therin sighed again, "I missed them."

"The good old boring times!" She corrected him, "The strongest of us could hope for nearly one thousands years lifespan. And the strongest Aes Sedai are often the most qualified, what were we supposed to do with our life, when we reached everything we ever dreamed or wanted in the age of hundred or less? What left for us but endless years with tomorrow all but identical of yesterday." Logain stopped looking sick, he gaped at her.

"Bored?" He inquired in a voice that held all the disbelief in the world, "You could reach the age one thousands years, and you claims that you were bored?" Logain's eyes took a far off look. "I never hoped to reach thirty," He said in a voice that sounded like none of his own. Halima blinked at him, if she would ignoring the Slowing, he was about forty.

"How old are you?" She inquired softly.

"Me?" He looked at her for a moment, she had the feeling he was seeing through her, "I'm twenty-seven."

"You didn't age nicely, Logain." Lews Therin grinned, "With a bit of luck, when you reach one hundred, you will look like she did, at three thousands." Rotten body; a tongue that fell off from her mouth when she first tried to talk, after they have climbed up the path of broken daggers that led from the Pit of Doom; she remembered looking at hands with horror, able to see, through gaps in the flesh her own bones. Eyes week with age, body nearly collapsing under its own weight, muscles that once were powerful became water. Trapped near the surface, the Wheel of Time passing slowly affected her body. The oldest creatures alive stepped outside Shayol Ghul; they also looked so.

"It's not a matter to joke about, Lews Therin, or should I remind you of Mierin's doings?" Halima asked coldly, Lews Therin groaned sourly, "Do you remember your wedding? It was a wonderful display of emotion, I think Asmodean wrote a song about it, not very good song; but no song can be good with a name such as: ‘The trio's wedding.' Not to mention Ilyena and Mierin's reactions to each other. They nearly toppled the entire building, and you stepped between them, like the fool you've always been. You made each think you support the other, Ilyena refused to marry you after that. I still don't know how you convinced her in the end. Something to do with this thing called love, I assume. But it was certainly worth the visit, it was nice of you inviting me, I don't think I ever thank you about it. If I remember correctly I laughed myself till I'd sour mouth for a week."

She stopped to take a breath when Logain spoke: "Have you never been in love?"

"Of course I did!" She replayed, "You want the names? I can give you every last one of them?"

Logain grimaced, fists tightening for a moment, then he forced himself to calmness, "How long did it often last?"

Halima shrugged and smiled at him, "Most often, until I undressed her, in rare cases, until she undressed me." She replayed, Lews Therin began to laugh, and she didn't hide her wide grin at Logain's expression.

She was aware of commotion behind her for quite some time now, luckily, she raised her eyes just in time. "Darkfriends!" That came as a hiss, from more than one men, Halima didn't doubt a heartbeat that there were darkfriends among the men gathered in the room, of law rank, most probably, but they would try to kill her still, to make sure they wouldn't be uncovered. The rest were as bad as any darkfriend.

A man almost as big as Logain stepped forward, the leader, he had a short sword in hand, or maybe a long dagger. It wasn't a nice weapon, "We know what to do with darkfriends! Especially you!" The man stared at her and licked his lips in expectation, Logain made as if to rise, sending his hand to his sword, face like a thunderstorm.

"I will take care of that," Halima said, rising with a grace she was well aware of, the only reason for wonder was why they weren't attacked before, the claim they are darkfriend was only an excuse, their cloths were far finer than any those men saw on anyone save nobility. She gave the men's leader her widest smile while she wove Air. He was picked up in the air, and crushed, hard, into the wall opposing her, the wall shock for a few moments, but it held. Halima grimaced; the man rose into the air and plunged against the wall twice more, until the wall broke and the man flew through it.

Nodding in satisfaction to herself, she took back her seat. Jelon stepped through the door, looking at the broken wall, then at her, agonized. He was wet all over; he was very... literal man. The room was empty beside Jelon, Logain, Lews Therin and herself. As soon as it was clear that the One Power was being used, the room emptied. That was the fastest retreat Halima saw in her life, and that included the battles in the War of Power.

"You still had a tendency to destroy whatever anger you," Lews Therin comment calmly, Two tankards stood near him, empty, and another was held in his hand, he obviously meant to get himself drunk, he should have been already drunk, but save loosing his tongue a little, the drink seems to have little affect on him. It was clear evidence to his state; the mind could overcome the body, for short periods of time only, as she knew better than any other, for now, his... grief held back the affects of the drink. Halima had no wish to be him, tomorrow morning. "I'm surprised that Logain survived you."

"Did I?" Logain said, sheathing his sword and seating in his chair, he glanced at the wall few times, the man left a hole seven feet wide and five high. Jelon checked the damage with sad eyes, sending every now and then angry glances at her. He said nothing, of course. The man might be smelling, and not the brightest in the world, to say the least. But he survived in this tavern for years, which took something. Still, she knew she could trust him with her life, her gold and her promise were more than was need to acquire his loyalty. "I'm not so certain I would, it had only been a week." Halima laughed to that, and Logain grinned at her.

"Wouldn't he be even slightly angry about you ruining this...?" Lews Therin seemed to be searching for a fitting word, not that there were many, to describe The Light's End.

"I own this place, he wouldn't." She told the man before he found the right word.

Logain snorted, "A farm in the Blight would be a better place to spend your money at, Halima."

"I like this place," She replayed to him, if he thought that he could make her change her mind about owning this place he was gravely mistaken.

"There is no place like home, isn't it?" Lews Therin said, Halima winced, looking at him. He began his forth tankard, the last that remained, and his voice was too slow, to say he was drunk would be an understatement. "You always liked that kind of places, and now you own one. Do you mean to make a career out of this? And how under the Light have you gotten ownership of such a place? I can hardly imagine the owners selling it to you."

"Jelon understood, in the end," She told Lews Therin, "I offered him more money that he saw in his life, and told him that I would turn all his gold to water if he would think of betraying me, I'm still paying him to run this place. It's not a place I would like to see ruin."

Logain chuckled, looking at the hole she created, "You don't want it ruin but you still ruin it yourself."

She ignored her bondholder, "What are you going to do with Ilyena?" Now that he drunk so much, it seemed that he was capable to face the fact that the wife he killed returned from her grave, after time so long.

"I don't know," Lews Therin replayed slowly; trying to be logical even thought he emptied three tankards already, and most of the forth one, not to mention that tankard she ordered down his throat. "The Light burn me, I don't know."

"I think you have other things to worry about, more important than Ilyena," Logain said, she glanced at his tankard, three quarters emptied, she was horrified to see that more than half of her tankard was gone. Logain would have his acid comments tomorrow morning, for sure. "The Asha'man took the cleansing a bit too well, I sent them to the Dragonmount to calm down, but they seemed to have taken warders without the women's concept." He didn't look at her and had the goal to sound angry with the Asha'man! "More so, I expect Elayne to be angry enough to try to skin you, the Asha'man... messed a bit the Lion Palace."

"What!" Even drunk, Lews Therin managed to pull himself up in speed near impossible, keeping himself erect, however, seemed beyond him. And he crushed down to the floor as fast as he went up.

"Do you mean to help me up?" He demanded from the floor, "There is something wrong in the floor! It wouldn't hold still under my feet!" Halima laughed as Logain helped the man to his feet.

More than anything else, the warders hold the Black Tower together; every Asha'man knows that he can trust his warder in the hands of any other Asha'man. Any Asha'man would do close to anything to defend any Gaidar, knowing that in his turn, his warder would be protected.

Mortal enemies are ready to die for each other's warders, while they wouldn't blink at seeing the other dying.

The History of the Black Tower, volume XIV
By Elmindreda al'Thor
The Court of the Sun
The Forth Age

It was like being drunk. Like the rush after drinking a whole skin of wine or a jug of good brandy, saidin leapt and tingled each time he touched it, gave him a thrill not unlike being in bed with a pretty, willing girl.

He laughed, the knife scar wound that ran down his left cheek pulling a little, the result of a tavern brawltwo days ago. How good that had felt after the months in the Black Tower! Just using his fists and his old skills again and none of saidin even though it felt like liquid lightning flowing in him, pure and scalding in his grip. Some of the men had been so overjoyed they had spent nights making displays in the sky that rivaled any Illuminator's fireworks. They couldn't get enough of saidin's unadulterated feel, often channeling until they were exhausted, until they were so close to burning up they had to let go. Logain was said to warn everyone that all were to channel no more than four hours a day, till everyone got used to it to ensure that none would burn themselves out like overused candles.

Devon found the thought amusing, Light, is there anything not amusing, with saidin clean? His laugh echoed crazily off the rocky walls and ceiling, and he brought himself up short. Had he waited till saidin was cleansed to go mad? That caused him to laugh harder.

In a way, it felt good to be in Dragonmount. The word was, the Lord Dragon was planning a celebration like none other in the history of the world, and what better cause for a celebration? The only thing he could have done without was the loud argument and cursing that never ceased between the two behind, where Rhodri was trying to persuade his Warder to walk instead of digging her heels in like a mule. Though he could hardly have called Memara a mule. Memara of the Four Springs sept, that was all he got from her name, there was a long line of titles afterward, from which he remembered only the word "Taardad".

At least an inch taller than the six feet, dark haired Rhodri, she was all long limbs, flame colored hair and hard, resentful eyes. Devon felt personally that the only thing that kept Memara from sticking a knife between Rhodri's ribs was the bond. As it was, when she'd discovered what had happened, she'd given him a beautiful black eye.

He grinned. Being newly raised Dedicateds, neither he nor Rhodri had not traveled off the Black Tower much, and had not much experience with Aiel, particularly Aiel women.

A holiday in Caemlyn, it had been, a holiday that had exceeded all his expectations, though trouble might come as the price of it later. Caemlyn had been full of Aiel, it seemed, and little else by way of protection. It was strange. Last night, the forth and last in that endless celebration,he and Rhodri had been on the rooftops, admiring the moon and doing handstands after finishing a skin of wine. Alone one moment, then surrounded by threatening forms bearing spears the next.

Rhodri had been in the middle of a handstand, and a foot sweeping him off his hands had him flat on his back before he could yell, a spear-point or two under his chin. Thrilling to the clean fire of saidin, Devon himself had found it only too easy to cloak himself in shadows and slip some distance away. He didn't doubt Rhodri could take care for himself, he had felt Rhodri being full of saidin, seen him preparing defensive weaves in an instant, but then one of the shadowy figures had spoken in the husky, caressing voice that only few fortunate women were born with.

"What do you do sneaking about rooftops in the dead of the night?"

"I might ask the same of you," Rhodri had answered easily. "What under the Lighta woman doing on the roofs at night?"

The figures had glanced at each other, and in the moonlight Devon had seen the black veils drawn over their faces. "We are all women," another had said. "You wetlander men have strange manners and ideas."

"If you're referring to my less-than-courteous greeting, it was because I was and am in a supine position. Permit me to rise and I'll show you a bow that wouldn't be out of place in the Lion Palace." Rhodri had made to rise, but the first figure tensed, not shifting her spear.

"Was that a joke, wetlander?" a third asked suspiciously, "Where is your friend? It's not often wetlanders manage to avoid us."

"Any man, wetlander or no, who's mad enough to voluntarily wear the color of the d'tsang could be foolish enough to do anything," the first one replied grimly.

Rhodri had grinned. "He probably fell off the roof at the shock of seeing your collective beauty," he'd said with outrageous confidence. Rhodri was always a lecher. But this was no place for smart words,and Devon had half-expected to have to save him from having his throat slit, but amazingly, the second one, who seemed to be the leader, had laughed with that purring, throaty voice of hers. "Ease your spears. This one would like to play Maiden's Kiss, I think."

A ripple of laughter arouse to his word, eager laugher. Women were strange!

She even helped Rhodri to his feet as they unveiled, though features had been shadowed in the moonlight. He had watched Rhodri grin insolently, brushing off his coat. "What's this kissing game? This is a little unexpected, but I'll do my best on such a short notice." Devon had thought they'd laugh themselves to fits.

And suddenly the laughter cut off and Rhodri's neck was surrounded by spear-points in a tight ring. No hangman's noose could have been more uncomfortable.

"This," the second woman said, a hint of a grin in her tone, "is Maiden's Kiss. It might be strange to a wetlander man, so let me explain the rules." She did so very well indeed. Devon had almost given himself away by snorting his laughter, but the necklace of points Rhodri had been wearing had been very real indeed.

"Memara, you claim the first. Tell us if he is all smoke and no fire." A woman said, and chuckles from all around as Memara, the one with the pretty voice,hesitated slightly, then stepped forward and took hold of her spear near the haft, leaning in as gracefully as a leopard. He had hardly been able to believe it when he saw Rhodri readying the weaves. Devon found that he was regretting he didn't stop the man. On second thought, Rhodri would have thanks him.

But as it was, as soon as the maiden learned what Rhodri had done, they barely made it out of there without harming any of the Aielwomen.

Now, as he walked through one of Dragonmount's many smooth tunnels, he wanted to chuckle at the thought of what the others would say, or the M'Hael, for that matter. He felt Rhodri was already beginning to regret his hasty actions.

A little way down, past two branching passages, and down a flight of steps. If his instructions were right, that should get him to the great mess-hall, which was also to serve as an Assembly Hall when the Black Tower would finally establish itself here, so Toviene told him, shouted at him, to be rather exact. She didn't like Rhodri's actions. He couldn't wait to see the reactions of the other men when Rhodri walked in with his prize.

Pale light streamed in through the great, arched entrance, and he quickened his pace, a grin spreading over his face... he stopped in his tracks.

The great chamber, hollowed out of solid rock with the strength of saidin, was impressive enough in itself, especially now that saidin was lightening it... Polished benches, chairs and table filled the vast floor with its maroon, gold and blue carpeting, and tall windows as high as a man would let in ample sunlight once the sun rose. Paintings and huge hangings adorned the rock walls that had not been there before, but none of these caused his stare. Men wearing black were scattered about the place, but it was not them he gaped at either. It was the women. There must be at least thousand of them; with less than half that number black clad men.

A while back they had bonded Aes Sedai, and some men had wives or sisters or daughters in the Tower, but that could not account for the number of women in here now! He shook his head, wondering if he was hallucinating or man. Apparently not, there they were, women of all sizes and shapes, most young, all pretty in this way or that. A good many wore cadin'sor! Other maidens, Apparently, he winced at their sight.

He heard Rhodri's boots scuff to a halt behind him, as he and Memara fell into stunned silence that soon broke into a shocked gasp. He saw golden heads, dark heads and red locks. Some wore the skirts of maids, tavern maids, servants, and merchants. There was a fair scattering of silk and linen and velvets and laces, and even one or two women that weren't maidens in breeches! He even saw one whose dark skin and earrings clearly named her A'than Miere, even though she stood in a dress of Andorran cut... Andorran cut. His heart sank into his stomach, and he closed his eyes for a moment in desperation, Rhodri wasn't the only one fell into that trap.

They glared at him, at the other men, at everything. He hadn't felt this much tension at the same place since Domani Well. Some had reddened eyes, others were crying. The scene looked very familiar... as familiar as the Aes Sedai tents at the Black Tower, save that the men were still bouncy and buoyed and keyed up, despite the negative emotions raging through the bond.

Speaking of that, he should go to see Samira. Tentatively, half afraid of what he would feel, he reached to the pocket of emotions and sensations in his head that were hers. All he found was quiet calm, contentment, almost as if she was daydreaming. The first thing he had done when Traveling here was checking on her, but he doubt if she even noticed him. The relief he felt was palpable. "By the Light!" Rhodri was saying.

"Is it custom for you Asha'man to go around collecting women as if they were no more than coins or horses?" Memara said acidly behind him. Rhodri took her veil, a wise move, but she seemed ready to break the custom.

Hastily, Devon ducked his head and made his way through the crowd. Many of the men called or waved to him. "What, hunting wasn't good?" Othar Miran called, smiling for all he was worth. Light, the Mayiener was surrounded by three women!

"You blinded son of a monkey-trainer, your mother have fathered you with the goat she used to milked." a pretty girl with tilted dark eyes - was she Saldean - was cursing at Tiran Frecha who stared at her with pale eyes, there was a spark of amusement in Tiran's eyes, and the girl certainly saw it.

"Go away! Go away! Go away! Go away!" The scream seemed full of frustration more than anything else, nerves stretched to a breaking point, but the sound still made him start and ready flows of saidin, coming unexpectedly as it did from a pale, freckled girl in a stained Taraboner dress who would have reached up to no more than his chest and must weigh half his weight at best, she clutched her head with both hands. Her shouts seemed directed to Geral Telik, who tried to sooth her with little success.

"My mother always said that men had no more brains than an ox," a Far Dareis Mai with cropped pale hair, almost white was saying scornfully to a beleaguered Alir Fedon, who had both dragon and sword on his collar.

"And more hot air than a pot full of steam," her companion said, narrowing pale blue eyes at her Asha'man.

"Give us back our weapons," a third said almost on top of them, the angry flush in her cheeks almost matching the color of her hair. Was the man mad? Taking three maidens as warders was the most foolish act Devon could think about?

Rhodri couldn't handle with the one he had.

"My mother would kill me!" a Cairhienin girl seemed to be wailing over and over again, and for some reason, Devon found himself laughing, desperately laughing. It was either this or crying. He saw Jonan seating on the floor near one of the walls, the man looked like he wanted to die. Even with saidin pure! He began to inch his way toward his friend, the crowd made it hard, and his ears seemed to explode from the noise, mostly female voices, angry and afraid and desperate.

"Let me go..."

"What right have you..."

"Barbarians! Bandits! Despoilers of the innocent...."

"Spawn of a hog and Trolloc ..."

"It's not my fault!"

"What have I ever done to you to make you do this to me?"

"You wetlander fool! Are you idiot enough to..."

"You will have to get used to it! You son of sheep! I've no intention to change what I'm. Certainly not for you!"

"The Light blind you!"

"There's no place..."

"I refuse even to consider it..."

"I shouldn't have left the Black Hills..."

"Get rid of this amusement, I will not have you laughing at me!"

"There is no way..."

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

"In the name of the Creator!"

"What have your mother laid with, you... you..."

So many shouts and screams and sounds that his ears seemed to explode, yet he refuse to let go of his hold in saidin. "What in the Light is going on here?" He shouted, to be heard over the crowd's noise.

Jonan started, jerking out of his seeming reverie on the floor. "What?" He had a long cut on his face, from the right ear to his mouth

Devon cast a harassed look around. "Are you blind, man? What is this?"

"You didn't take Warders in Caemlyn?" Jonan asked morosely. "Every man seems to have had at least one."

"You don't have one."

"I do," Jonan said sadly, rubbing the cut on his face, "and I regret it as much as I can. Why in the name of the Light do you expect me to want to take another, with Runea on my hands already? But I did it anyway," Jonan Marley snapped irritably. "I could pound his nose to the back of his skull for him, so help me!"

"Whose?" The man wouldn't have taken a man as his warder, wouldn't he?

"Moran! Who else? The time Runea's spending with Moran is too much by my estimation. Or by any other." Jonan eyes scan the crowd, but Devon saw no woman the man's eyes laid on.

"Who had you take?" He asked Jonan, who jerked as if stabbed to the question.

"Delir," The man said, pointing with his chin at the dark skinned Sea Folk woman. "I think I thought it might be fun, and, for a change, Runea would be the one to be jealous." The man groaned, "Delir don't really like me, not one bit. And I can't say I blame her." Jonan glanced at him, "Was it Samira's fault you took no second warder? You missed not a thing, believe me." Again he touched his face, and winced, muttering a silent curse.

Devon opened his mouth, and then shut it. Jonan had a point. Perhaps Samira was the reason why bonding another had not been on his mind when it had occurred to almost every other man who joined the Black Tower. "The M'Hael isn't going to like this."

"The M'Hael isn't here anymore. He ran off with about one third of our number, the disloyal bastards." Jonan snort, angrily.

"What - !" He snapped his mouth shut just in time.

"You've really had your head in the clouds, haven't you? Taim's turned, my boy. Some say to the Shadow, some say to his own glory. Some even say he's gone mad, though I think we're not that lucky. Half of those who made it to the level of Asha'man went with him. Dashiva, Gedwyn and Rochaid were probably under Taim as well when they attacked The Lord Dragon." Jonan seemed to loose all his uneasiness, and by his eyes, he was swallowed by huge weave of fury.

"But we thought they'd gone mad..." Devon protested.

"That was the official story. Do you believe everything you hear? I thought Murandians were more suspicious than that."

"I'm still Lugarder enough to challenge you to a duel with daggers if you keep this up." Devon touched the hilt of his dagger instinctively.

Jonan laughed at last, and eyed the scar on his cheek. "Was that how you got that mark? Pretty impressive."

Devon shoved his hands into his pockets, itching to loose the high Andorran collar of his coat. The heat did not touch him, but he didn't like the way the damned thing closed around his throat. A collar to chain a raving dog that you didn't killed because it was useful getting rid of the rats for you. "Well, things don't look too bad. Who's the new M'hael? Or is the Lord Dragon finally going to lead us himself?"

"He's too busy, you know it. We're not sure yet, though some of the older Asha'man are already arguing the point." Jonan smiled unpleasantly, "Can you picture yourself Alir as the M'Hael?" He barked a laugh, "I'm not sure he hadn't gone mad already."

Devon stared at him, "Alir? The next few years, he will have to watch his back. The man had taken three, and they are not very happy about it."

"Neither does Delir," Jonan muttered, and Devon's eyes focused on the Sea Folk woman, then on Jonan's face.

"She gave you that beauty mark?" He asked, leaning on the wall and grinning.

"Who else?" Jonan demanded, "You've seen me fighting, do you think I would have let any do this unless I was sure she wouldn't hurt me. The bond won't let me hurt her, but vise versa isn't true. Burn Canler soul!" Jonan had known the man that discovered the bond, Devon didn't, and no one knew what happened to Devon's wife, the first warder for an Asha'man ever.

"How did you take her?" Devon asked, it seemed like a story worth telling.

"Maiden's kiss!" Jonan snort in disgust, "Far Derais Mai found out that this seemed to be the only thing that has any affect on us. No wonder, when we take warder by kiss. And those goose brains here not belonging to the maidens have decided to follow them! Delir actually thought I would fade in a cloud of smoke if she will kiss me." So this was why so many had taken. Devon chuckled wryly at the picture Jonan described.

"And the maidens didn't understood what was happening?" He asked incredibly. Rhodri explained it in details, just before Memara punched him straight in the eye.

"Apparently not," Jonan signed, "Or some did, and the rumor didn't spread fast enough. The rumors about kissing did spread fast."

Devon let it drop; he could question Memara later, if she wouldn't strangle Rhodri by that time. "Who has the best chance to be M'Hael? I don't think I would like Alir as M'Hael, or Mefod. And I'm sure they both want to be M'Hael."

"Ambitious bastards." Jonan murmured silently, "No one knows, it depend on the Dragon Reborn's decision. And as far as I know, he had gone with Logain somewhere, and both he and Logain are rumored to have three warders each now, so you can guess why they ran away."

Devon's sigh was full of envy, "Impossible! The bond doesn't allow you to run away from your warder, Jonan, or the other way around. And Logain would run of nothing, and I doubt the Lord Dragon would run of anything!"

"True enough,." Jonan agreed cheerfully, "We'll find out, eventually. Aren't you going to see Samira?"

He nodded. "It's strange, you know. She's very quiet of late. I feel almost nothing. It is... disturbing."

"Wish that I had your luck. Runea cries herself to sleep every night, and the first few days I had to drag out the shredded bedding and replace it with new every morning. Moran couldn't do it, of course. " Jonan rubbed the back of his neck unhappily. "It's almost enough to overwhelm even the joy of saidin. You're going to see her now? I'll come with you, I need to go away before Delir would found out that she still has a dagger or a dozen on her."

Moving out of the hall and its din, they stalked swiftly down the passages together, two tall men garbed all in black like menacing shadows. "She's thinking again, or dreaming. I don't know which." He said slowly, touching her knot of emotion in the back of his head again. "She's happy, a little excited."

"What's there to get excited about? It can't be the view, I took a look on her for you some time ago, there is only one window and it opens out right onto the River Erinin, where she can long for her beloved White Tower all day long..." Jonan muttered, then they both stopped short, looked at each other as the realization dawned on them, and broke into a run.

He had never felt such a jolt of panic in his life, scuffed boots slipping on the smoother bits, going so fast that he almost slammed Jonan into a wall one time when they couldn't turn fast enough. A little more... Light! She was laughing! The oak door loomed ahead of him. Not lessening his speed, he turned his shoulder and slammed into it, breaking the lock and crashing it back into the wall, never once thinking of saidin, despite being full with it to bursting and more.

The sky was glorious, streaked with hues of pink, gold and pale, pale blue. The room was cold, because the double windows had been thrown open as if to embrace the rising sun, here, beyond the windows there was nothing, a mile's fall. Against this fierce, natural glory was silhouetted the form of a woman, who stood on the outer sill with head thrown back and both arms raised, as if preparing to take flight.

"SAMIRA! Noooo!" She did not even turn a hair, but raised herself delicately on the tips of her toes.... and leapt. An eagle shrieked in the skies somewhere above.

For the life of him he could not have said how he made it in time. One moment he was standing there, all the horror bleeding through, and the next he had slammed into the sill, feeling the pain rise and encircle his ribs, but it did not matter. His arm was almost being pulled out of its socket, for he had hold of a handful of her gown. The fabric was ripping loudly, and then weaves of saidin were wrapped around her. Jonan's weaving; he was too frightened to keep his hold on the power.

"Blood and Ashes!" Jonan's voice barely registered in his mind. She was screaming, screaming and twisting and clawing as if trying to scratch her way out of the weave that held her. He had never such emotions ever in his life; boiling rage, dying panic, relief, almost hysterical laughter. He lifted her up to the window, and it took both him and Jonan to bring her in, even bound as she was. She nearly died!

The bond was full of trembling frustration, fear and anger, an anger to match his, and a sorrow that was new, and as bottomless as the Pit of Doom of the Aryth Ocean. A sense of loss, as though the thing she loved most in the world had been ripped away. Despite his anger and fury, he flinched, jerking mentally away from the coil of her torrential emotions and thoughts that occupied the space where only the empty blankness had once been.

Jonan loosed the flows that bound her as he slammed the windows shut, and none too soon, for she sprang up and pounded at the panes, till he caught her, pinning her arms to her sides. Instantly she brought her foot down on his toes, thin leather slippers on boots, it did not bother him much. What bothered him was when she kicked him in the shin. "Samira, stop it!"

She was arrested in the act of raising her fist. "Sit down!" he ordered, fury nearly overwhelming him.

She sat down obediently in a nearby chair; her eyes flashing hatred, red flags of color in her usually cool cheeks. Tears trickled down her face as she fought uselessly against herself. The Bond forced compliance; adjusted as it was to control her.

"Why couldn't you just let me fall?" her voice was choked with the fullness of her anger. "Was it too much to ask for death, to be let to fly free as so many others have been? What difference would it make to you, with one less Aes Sedai to worry about?" She would have spat if she could.

Devon felt as if she had slapped him across the face. Jonan took one look and turned his back on them, looking out the window. He wished the man would say something, anything. He needed some help here! He needed... He was on her side and clutching her face hard, pulling her to her feet. He was hurting her, he knew it, the bond shouldn't have allowed it; the bond shouldn't have allowed it to her to kill herself either. "You will do no such thing again, Samira Sedai! You'll not even consider such escape! Is that clear?" His voice raked, he thought he might kill her, he never felt so much anger in his life. His hands left her, not by his own free will, and she nearly fell. The bond allowed only that much, only so he could order her not to die, he saw his fingerprints on her face and felt sick. He settled her down and knelt by her side, ignoring Jonan entirely.

"Why would you say that? Have I ever been cruel to you?" She jerked away from his hand, and he curled his fingers in frustration, he knew he deserved as much. "I have tried my best to protect you, to comfort you, but you never let me near! I could never hate you, ever; surely you must know that. The way it is, you are like another half of me, body,mind and soul."

"Half of you!" She said with wild hazel eyes and utter contempt. "You ask me if you have been cruel, you who murdered my Sarad!" She stood suddenly, and faced him, she suddenly looked like those Aes Sedai from the Legends he had heard as a child, strong enough to bring the entire mountain on his head. Powerful enough to make the Dark One himself dodge aside and seat quietly until she would decide what to do with him.

Her Sarad? Was he one of her Warders? With the emotion it engendered..."He was... your lover ?" No matter what his position, it still felt awkward using that word with an Aes Sedai.

Judging from her expression it was as if he had called her much worse. "Beside being my warder, he was my twin brother! You've no idea what it's to be half of something! You could never know!" She began crying, tears leaving mark on her cheeks.

"A Twin!" Devon heard himself echoed by Jonan, shock in both voices. "But... that's impossible! None of the men we... we took looked anything like you."

"How could you know what he looked like when you took him from the back?" she said venomously, still crying. "At least Riadl and Machrin had the honor of a warrior's death."

He thought desperately back, and then stopped. "That man? He had gray hair!" She had no rejoinder to that, but she flushed.

Even before Jonan's warning hand touched his sleeve he understood. By the Light, how old was she? Her honey-colored hair had no gray in it, and her ageless face could have put her anywhere from sixteen to sixty, but he had the horrid suspicion that she might be beyond that. With his mere twenty summers, he felt like a child compared to his Warder. His Warder, Light helps him! There was another word he could have used, one that some of the men were fond of using, but he shrank from that. Yes, she was beautiful with her small, heart-shaped face with its aureole of honey braids beaded with blue-and-white porcelain beads and those green-flecked hazel eyes, but she hated him. And for some reason, that hurt. The man he killed, Sarad, was at least sixty, if not more, and it was known that warders aged quite slowly. Her twin brother, he had not even thought about the possibility that the Aes Sedai version of the bond being that platonic.

"Samira, I'm sorry, but I cannot undo what has been done." He hesitated. "If I could turn back time, believe me that I would never hurt you or any of yours." She was silent, but there was something in the bond that he could not define. Regret? At least the emptiness was gone. What was it that Toveine had said,if she could feel she would heal? A small spark of hope; but a bright one, an idea sparked in him. "Will you come with me, Samira? I need your help." This time the sensation was recognizable: surprise. She allowed him to take her arm, but showed no awareness of his touch either as he led her from the room, exchanging a glance with the puzzled Jonan.

Logain was in the Lion Palace only twice before, the first time was when he had been taken to Tar Valon to be gentled, and his mind jerked away from that time. The second time was yesterday, when he finally convinced himself that there were too few Asha'man in the city to do any serious damage and ordered Balir to gathered all the Asha'man he found and send them directly to the Dragonmount. Then he had to travel back to the Black Tower, and spend hours arguing with Sora and Kimali, when finally he arrived to the Dragonmount, it was already after nearly three days of not sleeping. Now a yawn ripped apart his mouth. The small fact that Halima and the man he had to carry were singing in the Old Tongue - he was certain was the song was filthiest Halima knew - helped not a bit.

If the frighten servant was telling the truth, Elayne should be in the Grand Hall. This place held too many bad memories for him to be comfortable, the Grand Hall especially. Two men in red and white stood erect near the huge doors that led into the Grand Hall, they made no move to stop him, they saw who he was holding, and now they stared at the Dragon Reborn with eyes so wide that they might fall off to the floor any moment.

"Open the doors!" His order was complied almost immediately, with the men moving slowly, not taking their eyes from Rand.

Elayne was in the Grand Hall, together with seven or eight others save Min and Aviendha and Birgitte. "Here he is," He told the Queen of Andor as he walked to the dais and set the Lord Dragon on the stairs leading to the Lion Throne. "He's yours, do whatever you want with him." At least the man stopped singing.

Elayne was very pale when she first put an eye on Rand, now, her cheek burned with anger. "Do you have any idea what your Asha'man did to the city?" She demanded coldly, stepping down to her bondholder, her husband, although Logain doubt if she knew that.

"Why don't you seat down and tell me?" Rand suggested cheerfully. His eyes slide to the nobles that stood nearby, staring at him with eyes as wide as the guards'. "Pardon me for not rising," He apologize sweetly, "It seem that I have some disagreements with the floor, it tend to move under my feet and throw me flat on my face whenever I try to rise."

"You're drunk!" Elayne exclaimed, in a voice that held all the disbelief in the world.

"Am I?" Rand asked him. "I don't think so, all I did was drinking just that much." His hands spread as far as they would go, and he stared at them in confusion. Logain doubt if the man could remember the existence of saidin, he should have seen the flows of Air Halima wove.

"Oh," Aviendha and Min joined Elayne, "And you expect not to be drunk, after drinking that much?"

"The last time he smelled so," Min murmured audibly, "He didn't take a bath for four days!"

Halima laughed to that, attracting everyone's eyes, not that the men's eyes weren't on her already. In those black coat and breech that showed her body so well, any man would. "Did he kept you in bed that long?" Halima asked, Min's face became red, "Or was it the other way around?" Logain noted with interest that all Rand's warders became as red as the sun.

"Halima," Logain growled silently, she told him that she decided to say whatever she wanted to say, and do whatever she wants to do. She did just that now, and he was about to get in troubles. She fell silent, but she still felt, and looked, very amused.

He turned his eyes to Elayne, "I don't think that there can be a single Asha'man in the city, but I've troops of Asha'man searching for them until they would be convinced that none stayed. I expect that by now they are already where they should be." Rand didn't want the knowledge of the Dragonmount to become public knowledge.

"And what about the women?" Elayne demanded, "I want them back, the Asha'man you may keep." Halima chuckled softly.

"The women are with their Asha'man, Elayne." He told her, "And they are there to stay."

"Impossible!" A woman with golden hair, much like Elayne, stepped to face him, a finger stabbing him just below the chest. "I will have my daughter back! And if I've to kill the Asha'man that take her as his warder with my bare hands!" Somehow she made it sound worse than murder, an Asha'man bonding her daughter, not her killing her daughter's Asha'man with her hands alone, which was quite impossible. On the other hand, by her face, she was ready to try.

"You can try that," He told her, "There is an extremely small chance of you succeeding, and you will end up with two corpses, not one." Halima sucked air into her lungs, and he cursed himself silently, she might as well believe that, there were worse things than the truth, but not many, at least not in his eyes.

Another woman joined them, shorter than that angry mother who gaped at him, with hair that seemed only few shades from white, "Both my and Dyelin's daughters are gone," She explained silently, clearly she was as frightened as this Dyelin, but she controlled her anger better. "We fear that they might have suffered the same fate as many other women had, since they were gone in the same time you Asha'man... were in the city. Can you confirm or deny that?"

"Suffered?" Logain wondered for a moment, "Whatever happened, Lady," He promised the woman, "Your daughter hadn't suffered, not by the hands of any Asha'man. That I can assure you." Halima muttered something loudly, in the Old Tongue. Rand laughed to that, everyone else sent horrified glanced at Halima.

"Still, we want to know." The woman insisted, "Those are our daughters, surely even you can understand that -" She stopped with her mouth open, realizing what he just said.

Halima moved suddenly, lying a hand over the woman's shoulder, "I've no doubt that you're right, he isloathsome, bad tempered, flea-bitten, and most of the time he smell like petrified skunk waste. That is, not to mention that his brain seemed to be filled with nothing but donkey gonads. I seriously doubt if he can understand how to do anything but drink all day and pick at his nose all night." Logain glared at her for all he was worth, fury burning through tiredness. Rand clapped his hands and added some words in the Old Tongue that sounded approving. Everyone ignore him, a hard thing usually, but now he laid slump on the stairs, looking sick and nothing like the horrifying Dragon Reborn. "I, on the other hand, might be able to provide you some help."

Both Dyelin and the other woman focused their eyes on Halima, "Where are our daughters?" They both asked in the same time.

"Where are the fathers?" Logain asked Elayne.

"Tearing down half the city searching for Amelin and Lyandra." She replayed. "If they are harmed, Logain Albar, I will have that Asha'man's hide."

"They aren't, not if they have been taken warders, but what make you think that they had?" Logain questioned, "There are thousands dangers in a city the size of Caemlyn. Any could have killed them!"

"Not in Caemlyn!" Elayne protested, "Maybe in other great cities, but not in my city."

Logain sighed, "It is a surprise me to see you're that naive, Elayne." He told the woman slowly, Min was watching him carefully, and he tried hard to avoid the flare around Rand al'Thor, a ta'veren shining stronger than the sun.

"What are you talking about?" Aviendha asked him, Elayne seemed to lose all ability to speak. He doubt if any had called her naive, ever.

Logain rose an eyebrow, the Aielwoman, at least, should be aware of the dangers. "There is a tavern, named the drunken bull," He told the three women, "A woman enterring that tavern would wish she was dead in a few minutes, and a man would be killed for the boots on feet." Elayne looked sick.

"I will make sure it would be ruined!" She vowed.

Logain shocked his head, "Then another will be open, and that was only an example, there are several streets in Caemlyn a man or a woman walking alone would likely wish to die very soon. And The Drunken Bull is not the only tavern of the kind, only the worst. The Lion Guard helped, before it was disassembled, but without it... You should thank the Asha'man for that, at least. Several of them tried to attack a warder. They were... taken care of." Save stepping into the Pit of Doom, Logain could think of nothing more dangerous than attacking an Asha'man's warder. Sticking a hand into a viper nest would be safer.

A strange sound attracted his attention, Rand leaned on the dais weakly and tried to stand, no one made a move to help him, the smell might have to do with it. And Logain noted that Elayne tried hard not to breathe through her nose with him near her, not only Rand.

Failing to stand, Rand turned his head to one side and done one thing that could have not happened in this room before. Elayne stared at him, Logain saw tears in her eyes as the man that held her bond vomited on the dais that led to her throne.

Halima looked at Rand and laughed so hard she could hardly stand.

The minute he left the hall, she scrubbed at her skin as if it burned. In a way, it had, and it shamed her to the bone. She would not feel anything at his touch! No! Better to die than that. She did not have time to think on it long. Devon's request was clear, and he left only so he could find her sisters, for the time being, one Aes Sedai would have to suffice.

"Aes Sedai?" said a pretty, plump girl with huge blue eyes in a face surrounded by brown ringlets. She was Andorran, and in a minute she had crossed the room and taken hold of Samira's sleeve, which was in a way a measure of her desperation. Questions poured out as more girls and women approached. Why were they here? Were these men already mad? Why were they being held captive? Were they really bonded, or was it all only a cruel joke? Was the Dragon Reborn angry at the folk of Andor? Was he dead? Were the Asha'man going to break the world again? When could they go home? Could she break the bond?

"I do not have all the answers, but I have a few. You are safe, for now, and the men don't intend to harm you. That you have been bonded, however, is a sadly inarguable fact," she said grimly. Devon had long, delicate hands, and a swift way of moving that was pleasing to the eye, burn him! The cries of distress that rose snapped her out of her thoughts.

"What can the Car'a'carn have thought, to let us be dishonored so?" demanded one Maiden, shocked enough to acquire comfort words from an Aes Sedai, of course, the Maiden would have never put it that way. But it the truth, whatever the Maidens would like to admit it or not.

"I believe the Lord Dragon does not know, yet, and that most Asha'man, for the moment, unable to control themselves, one of the results of saidin being finally cleaned." The babble rose again tenfold at this. From the edge of her eyes she saw Toviene, talking with a woman that was more than a head taller than her. And Runea too, with Moran on her side, as always, she thought she caught Jonan's angry face, talking with a Sea Folk girl that couldn't have been more than eighteen, she held a bare dagger in each of her hands and seemed quite eager to use it. Other Aes Sedai appeared, trying to calm the women, Devon was right about that. The Asha'man left the room slowly, and the tense in the room had almost gone with their absence. She didn't saw a single black clad man in the last half an hour at least, but still the women constantly stared over their shoulders, as if they couldn't feel that their Asha'man were far away,a mile or so, she estimated, this mountain was huge, and it seemed that it was entirely filled with caves and rooms, big enough to contain three or four dozens cities the size of Tar Valon.

She moved away, out of the center of the group as they talked animatedly to each other, the barriers of race and politics and social standing forgotten in the necessity of the situation. Feeling as tired as if a hundred years weighed on her, Samira spotted a girl on the fringes of the group who stood oddly enough on the side, arms folded, face calm.

She approached her. "Good morning." The tall, black-haired girl said nothing, merely looked down, but it was not out of rudeness. Her large gray eyes were full of sorrow, something that touched Samira herself. "Who are you?"

A moment passed before the girl answered. "Ildan, Aes Sedai. A good morn to you."

"Where did they take you from?"

The girl's mouth twisted a little, but her bearing was admirable. "They took me in Andor, from an inn we were staying in, but I be from Illian. He," she jerked her head to a slender, red-haired boy not more than three years older than her who was at the other side of the Hall, several Asha'man stood there, but they stepped no closer to their warders. They seemed to talk urgently with one another. The man Ildan was staring at seemed to listen intentionally,but his gaze returned to her at regular intervals with an almost doting possessiveness. "He did want a dance. It all seemed to in good fun, but the next thing I knew was that my knees did want to give way, and he dragged me through a hole in the air. I did not realize he was an Asha'man." Did Devon take a warder in Caemlyn as well, a second warder?

"No Asha'man, my girl. A mere dedicated." Samira replied, she found herself staring at the crowd, searching for a woman who might be Devon's second warder. It shouldn't have bothered her, but it did.

"Whatever they do call them. This black-coats are the Dark One's own creatures," the girl said vehemently, yet her eyes strayed to her Dedicated, and when their gazes met by accident she tossed her head and turned back.

"They were merely suffering the effects of saidin after the cleansing." Samira did not want to defend them, but the words had surprised her a little. "It can't have been that bad."

The girl's laugh was ironic. "That bad, Aes Sedai? Meaning no disrespect, but they did leave Andor in chaos. All the women who were there shall remember those nights. Some will weep, and some will carry bad dreams of it to the grave. Can you imagine how we did feel, we who knew almost nothing of the Black Tower, save that our fathers and brothers were all for throwing them out, if not for the Lord Dragon's Orders and the absence of a Queen in Andor. Rumors said that the men were going mad, that they had killed the Queen Morgase, or that they were Darkfriends to the last one."

"Do you believe them capable of such things? Do you believe them mad?"

The gray eyes moved uneasily. "I do no be a judge of such things, Aes Sedai, but I do know that it was four nights of fear for us women. They should no be allowed to raid a city and take us from our families and parents. What are we if not free people? We do no be toys for them to take as they will and discard as they please. And the Aielwomen were kind, they were strong and brave where most did cower, but they, too were taken. If the Aiel cannot stand up to them, who can?" The girl had lovely voice, warm and throaty, Samira noted, and a brilliant mind.

"Child, your spirit is admirable, and your words strike true, but tell me; do you, in your heart of hearts, truly hate your Bondholder?" Samira refused to think what her answer would be, had she been asked such question.

No answer to that for long moments, then the girl bowed her head in shame. "No, I cannot, Aes Sedai. How did you know?" She had no choice but to answer, Samira knew, and the First Oath left her no other choice but the truth.

"I know because I cannot hate mine." Ildan's head jerked up, and Samira could not help smiling a little. The first since Sarad died. "You are right, we may not be able to stand up to them, but we can make them realize that we are not so easily vanquished. Did you know, child; that you can Channel? You've the spark, and you'll begin channeling in few months at most, if you've not already?" The shock expression on Ildan's face gave her all the answer she needed, " No? Well, I do not have much to occupy my time here; you shall be as good a student as any. And in the meantime, we can teach those Justice's Defenders few lessons about women."

"I want to die," Rand groaned, just before he let his head fall into the washbasin, for a long moment he considered simply letting it stays there. He raised his head back to the air and sucked air into hungry lungs. Cold, nearly frozen water, slide down his body. And he winced at the pain of those frozen water touching the wounds in his side, the old wound he gotten from Ishmael in Falme, and the new one, a cut from a dagger taken from Shadar Logot. The water doubled the pain in his side, and did nothing to help the pain in his head.

"You deserve that, you know." Today, Min held no pity in her heart for him. Today, he had little pity on himself. Slowly he drugged himself to the bed and threw himself into it, closing his eyes and wishing for death. "What made you go drinking, I never thought you'll drown your trouble in a skin of wine."

"Min," He begged, "Do you mind speaking just a bit less loudly? Do you mind feel less loudly?" His head felt like it was spited into two, and every sound made him more aware of the pain.

"No!" It was nearly a shout, he opened one eye to look at her, she was seating on the far side of the bed, clad in pale red breach and coat, more beautiful than any goddess human imagination ever created.

Half opened window sent rays of light that hurt his eyes like knifes, but one of those rays of light bathed Min in light. She looked a little like she was burning; so beautiful he wanted to cry. "You're cruel!" He whispered hoarsely, she was cruel enough to make him want to wail.

"I am the one being cruel?" Her voice went higher, the pain in his head seemed to double and then double again. "You left without even bothering to let us know where, you were gone for two full days, the Asha'man ravaged Caemlyn and Andor, and you're gone. Logain had to go fetch you, and he said you refused to come until he drunk you! That is, without mentioning the small fact that you wife appeared in the Dragonmount, or that she tried to kill you!"

"Ilyena," Rand whispered, then the rest of what Min said registered in his mind, he jerk upward, seating in the bed and trying hard stop wishing his head would fall off his body, "What did you said about the Asha'man?" He nearly shouted, and he caught his head between his hands, falling back on his back. "I'm about to die!" He told Min, she snorted carelessly and glared at him.

"I doubt it," A new voice said, loudly. Aviendha ignored his groans as she sat next to him, "Nynaeve made it, she says it would help you."

"Maybe it is a poison," Rand said hopefully, "I wouldn't mind that now." Aviendha snorted, a mirror image of Min.

"Drink that," It was almost a shout, and it sent tendrils of pain into his mind, like huge worms that crushed his thoughts aside and ate his head from the inside.

"Semirhage can take lessons from you," He muttered, quietly, as she put the cap to his lips. "You can teach her what being cruel means." Aviendha smile tightened just a bit, and she poured the entire cup into his throat, it taste like Trolloc's saliva, like carp pus, the most vile thing that ever passed his tongue, including the taint. The smell cringed his nose. Aviendha held his head with one strong hand and pour every drop into his throat; he felt it going down, every inch of it.

A long time later he pushed the cap from his lips and tried to mutter few chosen curses. All he could do was coughing. "You would have been more merciful had you poisoned me!" He accused, Min watched them, cross legs, with open interest.

"Probably," Aviendha agreed cheerfully, the bloody woman enjoyed this, and she could feel his emotions! "But now you feel better," Somehow, it sounded like a question, even thought she could feel his physical state as well as with her own body.

"I would feel much better if I have a kiss," He told her, making Min laugh.

"He must feel better," She told Aviendha, "If he can think about kisses."

"Indeed," Aviendha agreed, but she made no move to kiss him.

Grimacing slightly, he looked at Min, "What did you said about the Asha'man?" She told him, in details. And he sat up in his bed, Aviendha had to lean a hand on his back to keep him from falling back, fury almost burned the pain away. "How did I got here?" He asked, Min's story ended with him singing in the Lion Palace, a most lecherous song; Apparently. He remembered nothing from the moment Halima took the flute in her hands. Anything after that moment simply gone of his memory. This was their room in the Dragonmount, he thought, his memory was... fuzzy, to say the least.

"We took you here, I and Aviendha. Elayne stayed in Andor. She said that as soon as you wake, she expect you to hand her your hide." Min told him, Aviendha muttered curses about his size. When he commented that it was the first time his size bothered her, she punched him just below the ribs.

"Had she asked a few moments ago," Rand said weakly; trying to breathe hurt, "I would have gladly given it to her, now, unfortunately, I have other things to do than please her." Aviendha muttered something he wasn't suppose to hear, he grinned at her, and dance back as he felt fury nearly overwhelming her.

He turned to the door and focused all his being at reaching at the door without falling flat on his face. "Where are you going, Rand al'Thor?" Aviendha asked sharply.

"To talk with those sleazy, flea-bitten, abusive men who dare call themselves Asha'man." He answered, pulling the curses straight from Lews Therin's memories.

"Don't you think it might be wiser to get dress first?" Rand looked down at himself, and did what he hadn't done in what seemed eternity, blushed.

Some of the Aes Sedai that became warders to Asha'man has warders of their own. And the hate between any Aes Sedai's warders and the Asha'man she is bonded to is often on the edge of being fatal.

Both sides agree on only one thing, the Aes Sedai must survive. For the Aes Sedai's warders, it's a matter of survival, if the Aes Sedai dies; most probably they would, too. For the Aes Sedai's Asha'man, it's much more...

The History of the Black Tower, volume XIV

By Elmindreda al'Thor

The Court of the Sun

The Forth Age

The Aes Sedai sighed heavily as she fell into the chair, taking the first moment of rest in what seemed like ages. She did her best to ignore the crowd around her, at least thousand women, all speaking, shouting, crying at one. It had been only a few days now since she had been bonded; yet it seemed like years. She

lay back tiredly, pondering the events that had befallen her.

She was in the last troop of Aes Sedai caught and taken warders, by that time, the Asha'man developed a routine. Fifteen of them appeared, seemingly of nowhere, and loudly stated that if any made a move the warders would die. They were all shielded, and there was nothing to do but to surrender. Giliar Dolenid grinded her teeth hard, she was of the Green ajah, the battle ajah, and she had to surrender to save her sisters' warders. At least she had taken none as of now.

It was partly her over-confidence, and partly ignorance that had made her so unprepared for what happened next. What happened was worse, or best; it differed according to whom you were talking with. Giliar found it humiliating, she still haven't found a man to fit her demands so she could have him as her warder. Now she was a warder, and she obeyed, she had no other option but obeying, but that she obeyed humiliated her still.

What humiliated more was after the man broke the kiss, she fainted! Like a child never being kissed before! She was bloody Aes Sedai, and she fainted!

Upon awakening, she had opened her eyes to find herself on a bed in what seemed like an inn room. An Asha'man, the same one from before, was staring down at her curiously. She was still shielded. Cringing in utter horror, she had composed herself and sat up. Trying to stare up at him intimidating, she had been begun to say: "What - !" when she was rudely interrupted by his coolvoice.

"I have bonded you, you are my warder now." Just those few words... so obvious, so simple, yet it had come to her as a mighty blow, she had flinched visibly.

Taking a deep breath, she had nodded at him and started to rise. Once on her feet, face to face with him, she had calmly - or as calmly as she could manage, asked him one question. "How?"

Motioning for her to sit back down, he had calmly, emotionlessly unfolded his tale, not leaving any room for questions, ignoring her comments and shocked gasps. When he left, she had been silent. What was there to say? There had been so much, all of it shocking.

Now that she looked back at it, she felt confusion, loss, anger, all muddled up into one. He had no right to do what he did! And now saidin was clean! The Red ajah had no reason to exist anymore. And the reason she was sent to the Black Tower exist no more as well.

And more important than everything, she was a warder to an Asha'man that could have thought Elaida few things about being arrogant. She didn't doubt his explanation; he didn't lie to her, for a reason unknown, she was certain of that. She was not about to have to live the rest of her life with a man that arrogant! And it would be the rest of her life, or his, Apparently, no way to break the bond, and he only laughed when she asked him to let her go.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly tried to piece her thoughts together, doing her best to ignore the other set of emotions inside her head. He asked her to use Aes Sedai's reputation to calm all those girls and women the other Asha'man had gathered, and she obeyed! His name was Tolir Ganjad, cold eyes and mirthless smile, and she was trapped, trapped as surely as she would have been if she were bound with chains.

It was five hours after he woke, when he finally was dressed up and ready to go. He asked Aviendha to go take Sorilea and Amys from Cairhien, if the secrecy of this place already vanished... he never like doing only half a thing. And now he had few grand ideas for this mountain.

"I would need your help, Aviendha." He told the red hair woman, "I think I would need both Sorilea and Amys to calm the maidens down even a little bit. Fetch them for me, will you?"

"Shade of my heart," She stared at him, as if she never saw him before, "I thought you already learned, not even the car'a'carn command the Wise Ones."

He only stared at her for a moment, then: "Tell them that I order them to be here as soon as they can, Aviendha! Tell them that I said it, the car'a'carn they follow." Aviendha shake her head, but he didn't let her finish, "Tell them also that when I order something, they will obey."

"Are you mad?" Min asked, stunned. "Sorilea would have Aviendha's head for breakfast, and yours for lunch!"

He ignored Min's comment and looked at Aviendha, "Tell them what I said, Aviendha." He said quietly, softly.

"No!" Aviendha clutched his hair tightly and pulled his head a little down, so he stared eye-to-eye with her. "There is nothing you can say to them that would make them more resentful to do anything you will beg them to do later. Even the car'a'carn is not a wetlander king!"

"Really?" He released his hair and put a hand under her chin, "But I am a bloody wetlander king. And I expect the Wise Ones to obey when I order, one army can not be led by more than one commander, that is a sure way to lose a battle. And it's a bloody war we are in now!" He had enough of the Wise Ones and their version of ji'e'toh; he had enough with trying to understand women! More than all, he had enough of trying to figure out Ilyena's doing, according to Min, she was still sleeping, with a little luck, she would sleep until after the Last Battle, for once, somebody else could take care of his problems, the Light knew he had too many of them to be taken care all by himself.

"If you put it this way," Aviendha hesitated for a moment, then she nodded, "I will tell them that, but don't expect that they will answer orders from you or any man!"

"One more thing, Aviendha." He told her, she already began to weave a gateway, small one, nothing like the one she made so long ago, taking him into a snow blizzard and making him chase her half way around the world. "Tell them that The First of Servants still keep the oaths to the Jhen Sedai, ask them if they keep their vows too." She looked at him with obvious surprise; he truly hoped she didn't understood what he was talking about. The Servants of Peace, Jhen Sedai, those of the Aiels that could channel were named so. If even the smallest scrap of the threat survived in the Wise Ones' memories, then it would bind them as it did in the War of Power, bind them to him like little else could.

He shacked the memory away, and looked at Min, she sat on a chair, watching him watching her. "I would need your help too," Something very close to panic sparked in her eyes.

"Only as long as it has nothing to do to Cadsuane," She threatened, "Aviendha may have enough courage to face Sorilea down, I don't."

He grimaced; he hadn't thought about Cadsuane for a long time, very long time, if fact, he tried to push her from his mind. "It has nothing to do with Cadsuane, Min. Elayne should be here now, too. There would be many Andorran girls out there, unless I missed my guess, and she is their queen, she need to be here."

"If would be easier to face down Cadsuane and Sorilea both that take Elayne from Andor now." Min told him, but she rose from her chair to give him a short hug. "You're going to take care of the Asha'man, and the warders? I have been outside few times," her eyes lost that ever-existing laugher that shined in them, "What they did is horrible,Rand, they should escape without being punished."

"They won't," He vowed to her, to himself, "If there was a way to break the bond safely..." He shocked his head; ifs only get in the way, clear the field and get ready to work without wishing for what cannot be. He remembered himself saying that once, long before the Dark One was freed from his prison. "First, I have to wake Logain." Rand murmured as he wove the flows of a gateway.

"I think I like him," Min said, "You still plan for him to be the next M'Hael?" He nodded at her direction, his mind off, he told her and Aviendha about his plans, the little he already had set in mind. "It might be a problem, Rand. Logain hate power, with passion to match yours." She blushed suddenly, "I meant your hate to being the Dragon Reborn, Rand." She said hastily, "Not to - " She seemed unable to continue.

He laughed softly as he planted a small kiss on her nose, and another one on her lips. He still grinned when the gateway closed behind her. He wove a gateway to Logain's rooms. He needed the man now, and burn the man's uneasiness with power. There was not a soul Rand knew that were capable of running the Black Tower for him, not any he trusted, anyway.

The door to his left was Logain's, he knew. He opened the door, it was unlocked, fortunately, not that locks could stop him. The sight of the room made him freeze him. There were cats everywhere! Thousands of them, in every shape and size and color, he saw a huge one, almost twice the size of any normal cat he had ever seen, and others that were half the size of his fist.

He caught a glimpse of a gray cloth and brushed cats aside as he reached to kneel by the woman's body. The cats ate some of it, Apparently, but he saw the death wound immediately; a hole the size of his fist, it passed right where the woman's heart should have been, a ball of fire, most probably. Turning the woman on her back, he fought down anger, whoever killed that woman would pay for his deeds.

For a very long time he stared at the woman's face, eyes. It wasn't like always, when he memorized faces to be remembered, to remind him the priced already paid. It was stunned shock that held him in his place. The woman's eyes were dead; they were dead before that hole in her chest was burned. A Gray Woman, a female soulless. Rare creature, Rand mused, and not one I would expect to see here.

Someone, a darkfriend or one of the Forsakens, most probably, opened a gateway into the mountain and let that woman skim inside, there might be more than one, Halima was this soulless' target, there was no other choice. But Mierin was in this mountain as well. He began to move and stopped when that huge cat jumped to block his way. Rubbing its body against his leg. Rand kneel to caress the creature's fur. A beautiful creature, almost golden, with green eyes that stared at him without blinking, if another soulless attacked Mierin, either she was already dead or she survived. Rand had no idea what he would rather have.

Rising and pushing the big cat aside, Rand made it slowly to the door. Leaving the body to the cats. He had no place in his heart to pity those who were of the shadow.

Samira kept herself near the girl from Illian, Ildan, when silence spread through the hall, weaves of it, spreading fast, as women and girls fell silent in what seemed like awe or fear or both. She stared at the opening to the hall, where five people stood, Toviene she recognized immediately, and the same as Logain, he told her his name when he brought her here, it hardly seemed to matter her, then. She had never seen a man that big, or with those eyes. She had no idea what she would have done had it been Logain who took her as warder, instead of her sweet Devon, who - !

He had killed Sarad! The shout echoed in her mind. Yet she couldn't thanks the Light enough that it was Devon and not Logain that her life was tied to.

She felt pity for Toviene, the woman looked just as she always did, but her eyes returned to Logain in regular intervals, and, even as far as she was, Samira shivered at what was clear in the woman's eyes. Is it so with all of us? Samira couldn't help wondering. The men that were at the door - the Asha'man that Ildan stared at so very often and his friends - were gone.

The entrance to the hall was fifteen feet wide and twice as much as tall. Yet the man who stood next to Logain, easily as tall as him if not more, seemed to feel the entire entrance.

His eyes, Samira decided, were what made him so... impassive. His gaze swept over the hall, and he seemed to meet every woman's eyes, one by one. "The Car'a'carn!" She had heard many of the Aielwomen whispering, half in anger, half in hope.

She heard many others whispering, "The Dragon Reborn!" mostly in terror. She kept her mouth shut, there was no hope for her, not from this direction, not from a man whose eyes met her for a moment only, yet it took all her Aes Sedai serenity to keep her from trembling. Ildan took a step closer to her, "Is he going to kill us all?" She asked fearfully.

"I don't think so," Samira said, "It would turn every Asha'man against him for sure, so I believe." She could have done very well without the last three words, yet the First Oath required them.

Soon, no one made a move, all frozen under blue-gray stare, Samira remembered the time when Sarad had hidden a snake in her bed, expecting her to scream, but she caught it just behind its head and stared into the creature's eyes, fascinated.

The Dragon Reborn had the same eyes, cold, hard, without the smallest drop of mercy, or any emotion at all. She doubted not a heartbeat that the man would have executed every last one of them, if he could see the slightest use in their death.

She had no idea how much time she stood there, trapped, like any other woman in the room, in that snakelike stare. Her feet ached, but she dare not moving. It was bad enough that he simply stared in her direction, she want to do nothing to attract his full attention. Only now Samira truly looked at the other two figures, females, one was in red and white dress, and she carried herself with an undiminished grace, tall and fair hair and eyes. The other had dark hair, and she wore man's cloths in pale red. Not even the presence of the Dragon Reborn could diminish those two women's presence. Something in them caught the eye, Samira decided, although she couldn't say what exactly.

Finally, the Dragon Reborn spoke, his voice full of disgust and scorn. He said a single word, and turned: "Asha'man!" He didn't shout it, but in the silence of the hall, it was possible to hear a pin falling. Logain touched Toviene's shoulder for a heartbeat saying something to her, and then followed the man who carried the title he once claimed to.

Asha'man, Justice's Defenders, that was the meaning of the title those men that could channel took upon themselves. And as the men began to walk away from them, Samira began fearing for Devon's life. And, looking around her, she saw expressions very much like her own. Despite their wish, none of the women gathered here - however they've been bonded - could truly wish her Asha'man to die.

And the worse of it, Samira knew they could do nothing about it!

Rand didn't run, but wasn't far from it. Logain had to stretch his legs to keep the man's pace. "I think it might be best if you will wait for a time until you're calm again, My Lord Dragon." He tried, not for the first time. "At the moment, you're in no shape to..."

"They will hear me out, Logain." The Dragon's voice was as cold as grave, and frightening in its quietness. "And they will hear me out now. Not after I'm calmed down a bit. There is no way I'll ever calm down after this! What were they thinking! The fools!"

"I doubt if they were of any control on themselves whatsoever. No more than you had." Logain noted, but it felt like hitting his head in stonewall. The man refused to listen to reasons. And he had other reasons to worry about, save the man's anger. Considering the way he had been awakened by, with a skin of the vilest drink he had in his life being shoved into his throat, he could hardly blame himself for the fury he felt. But the fury wasn't directed to the man he strode by, all the anger in the world was direct at himself.

"Have you seen them there, all of them?" Rand's voice held the barest touch of pain, so Logain thought. By his face, you would have never known. "Far Derais Mai belongs to me!" He growled, "My society, the way Aiel see it. My people, my responsibility, and I let them all down." Did I let Halima down ? Logain wondered, and Leane and Toviene as well? What bloody happened last night that caused him to wake in Halima's bed? He still couldn't remember! Beside Halima, he had much more horrifying things to think about, like Rand's bloody intention to make him M'Hael. So far, nothing made the man move a step from his decision.

"There was nothing you could do about it," Logain said, "At the time it had all began you couldn't fight an angry cat. And saidin was impossible to touch, not only for you, for all the rest of us, or have you forgotten? It took us nearly two days of rest just to be able to touch it." He sent himself to saidin, the cold fury of the male half of the True Source helping him clear his head; unfortunately, it also made him very aware of his tongue, and the vile taste that still remained on her, worse than the taint. That thing helped with his headache, but Logain half thought he would rather have the headache than the taste.

"I can never forget what happen," the Dragon's voice was dark, cloud in shadows only the man knew. And Logain closed his fist tightly around his sword hilt, knuckles white. He has his own shadows to fight, Leane's face, staring upward despite her lying on her stomach, dead, her neck broken by his own hands, hunted him, and others, as worse and worst. "To the maidens, what my Asha'man did is worse than death!" Logain understood none of it, how could Rand be a member of a society reserved for women only? And why would the maiden resent so much being a warder?

Of course, his own anger on the Asha'man was only slightly weaker than the Dragon's, yet his reasons couldn't differ more than the Dragon's. Third of our number gone! And the rest lost every bit of self-control they ever had! That is, not to mention their taking warders without sufficient reason, a part of his mind named himself hypocrite, yet he had good, strong reason for taking Toviene and Halima, even if it was curiosity as much as the desire to live that led him to bond Halima.

He assembled the Asha'man in a room big enough to contain twice their number, near two hundreds and fifty men, as far as he could tell, he had no time to count them. And every last one of them had at least one warder. Most of the warders taken in Caemlyn, those who hadn't took a warder in Caemlyn, less than a hundred, already had one, or more. The only ones who hadn't took warders were the newest soldiers, ignorant to the weave or too weak to weave it. They were also those who were mostly affected by the Cleansing.

Logain blinked tiredly, he had far less sleep than he deserved. He had to find a way around that hangman's noose, being M'Hael wouldn't be that much far from death to him. Rand only snorted when he suggested Halima.

"I agree with you that they did wrong," Logain tried one last time to soothe the Dragon's temper, as they came closer to the room when he had gathered the Asha'man. "Yet I wouldn't suggest you to..." Maybe with his temper smooth his would reconsider his foolish and hasty decision.

"Wrong!" Rand came to a halt, so abruptly that Logain took three steps before realizing that the other man was behind him, staring at him as if he never saw such sight in his life. "Wrong? Have they killed them all, it would have been better, the way the maiden see it."

"Not all the warders are maidens, Rand al'Thor." Logain said, his voice icy fire. "Or have you forgotten this? What about the rest of them?"

"I forgot nothing," Rand said, and resume his trotting, "What about them, then? Their families, love ones? Husbands maybe? What can you tell a man that his wife had been taken warder? That she is now belongs to another? Love another? And not of her free will at all?" There was an edge in the man's voice, making Logain ready some weaves to shield anything the man might throw in his wrath.

"None of the women the Asha'man took is married." Logain said, that was his very first thought, and the first thing he made sure of. "None of them weremarried, at least." The only law Taim stated that Logain supported wholeheartedly. Although none, as far as Logain heard, was foolish enough to pass it to the warders. There wasn't much difference between the warder bond and marriage anyway, but women tend to make a great fuss about such things. And there were enough troubles with the warders as it was. He would have bet his last cooper that there would be much more in the coming future. Noneof the Asha'man saw any reason to disturb the warders with such news.

"That is the entire problem, isn't it?" Rand said, "The bond goes too deep, Logain. We have no right to shake them so off their lives. No right to do any of this." And that came from a man that, even if it was for the space of few days only, held four warders. "They have done wrong enough, Logain, more than I'm ready to have. And the Light be my witness, I'm going to make them pay!" Logain nodded curtly, and wondered what were his chances at running away with Halima, Leane and Toviene in the middle of the night. Few and little, he suspected gravely. And he could have never left without his warders.

Toviene couldn't believe how much she enjoyed taking care for all those women, it was the greatest responsibility she had in twenty years, save attacking the Black Tower, of course, and that hadn't gone very well.

This, however, was a field she knew more than well enough, "Runea, Giliar, Lemai," She ordered, despite everything that happened; the rest of the Aes Sedai still obeyed her. "We need to have those women fed, and find them a proper place to sleep." Before, with only the women Logain brought, they handled that quite well, Flinn took care of that, Traveling into the Sun Palace and taking enough food from there, it would help nothing now, not even a palace could feed a thousands more people along side with those it had to feed regularly.

Lemai nodded, "As far from the men as possible, I suggest." She said, her voice still heavy with that Taraboner accent even after all those years in the White Tower.

"No," Toviene showed the shock on her sisters' face, "Do you think we would be allowed to distance those women from the... Asha'man?"

Runea snorted, "We're Aes Sedai, the Light help us all, what does it matter what those men think?"

Toviene stared at her for a long moment; did losing one of her gaidin affect the woman's mind? "For how long would you jump if Jonan would say 'a toad'?" She inquired softly, Runea blushed like a sun, and glared at her in a way that made Toviene want to slap her, the first lesson one were thought in the White Tower was that a woman didn't fought saidar, you've to surrender to the power before you could control the power. The woman seemed to forget all she had been thought.

"I don't like it!" Lemai exclaimed softly. "It's bad enough that we were bonded, all of us. But now we have to obey those men."

"Show me another choice and I will have it!" Toviene told the Taraboner woman. "Until then, keep your mouth shut. Unless you have some suggestion about how we are going to find enough food to make sure none would starve." Where they were about to find enough food to feed nearly a thousand years.

"Boil the Asha'man!" Giliar said venomously, she barely had a day to get used to being a warder before saidin was cleansed.

Toviene smiled at her, the woman just solved half their problems, "I think I know how we can make the food, the only problem is where we can get the needed commodities."

"There is enough food in here to feed an army," Elayne said suddenly, stepping from the crowd, her white and red dress and regal expression distinguishing her from the crowd of horrified women. "Rand took care of that first thing, so I understand, although it was hardly used, I understand it became quite a custom here, to travel to the Sun Palace's kitchen in Cairhien and take a tray loaded of food."

"Very good, child." Lemai said, her voice warm; "You are quite brilliant, and very strong in the power, when you will be an Aes Se - ."

"Call me child once more, Lemai, and I make you wish you were stilled." Elayne said with voice made of ice, "I'm Aes Sedai, and there is only one women stronger than me."

"You're nothing but an Accepted!" Giliar growled, "When we return to the Tower, I personally make you wish you never claimed to have the shawl."

"Are you blind, woman?" Elayne asked scornfully, "You will never be allowed near the White Tower without your Asha'man on your heels, and you would have to thank the man for saving you from being courted for betraying everything the White Tower ever stood for!"

"Politic is fine when your stomach is full," Toviene put in, "You might have ate, Elayne. But there are thousand other women here who hadn't, most of them are Andorrans, your country. I suggest you would find me an Asha'man and lead us to those food storerooms."

With a glare at Giliar, Elayne motioned them to follow her, somehow making it seemed like she weren't being ordered. "Why do you need an Asha'man for?" Elayne asked her softly, there was no hostility between them, and Toviene didn't thought there could ever be. The Cleansing of saidin created a sort of tie between them, all those who were in the room when the Dark One attacked, she might dislike Elayne, or disapprove her action, but she would trust her to death.

"I'm about to teach him how to make a stew," Toviene said, with every last bit of Aes Sedai's serenity she could master.

Elayne looked at her for a long moment, and then, in a voice that was as near inaudibly as possible, the Queen of Andor began giggling.

The black door - made of stone, like most of this light forsaken place - swung on silent hinges on a flow of Air. And Logain followed the Dragon Reborn, a titled he claimed once, to the room where every Asha'man he could find gathered.

More than half the men were less than twenty five, most of the missing were above that age, so Devon heard, yet none of those gathered here could be called a boy. Most of them were smiling, talking enthusiastically between themselves.

Devon was at Dumai's Well; he knew well enough that he would never be able to totally forget what he had seen that day. Not for as long as he lived. He also knew that such sights and worse were due to come, and he could accept it; even look forward to it, to have it over and done with. If that wasn't enough to make a boy into a man, nothing would.

The men that talked fell quite, laugher died, under cold gray stare, and a matching black. The Dragon Reborn and Logain, a fearsome pair, in Devon's eyes, walked side by side into the room. And none could miss the hard expressions. Or the amount of saidin each man held. Logain held almost as much as the Dragon did, and the tall, red hair, man held enough to destroy this mountain and everything a hundred miles away, enough to create the Dragonmount, the place they were standing on, a mountain so high that it disappeared halfway in the clouds.

And there was no sign on the ecstasy Devon felt, holding saidin and not feeling the taint sheering its way into him. He had heard that there was a celebration planned, a party for the glory of saidin. Like most rumors, it was certainly false. The two men stopped few feet from the door; Logain was a big man, tall and wide, seemingly strong enough to fight a Trolloc with his bare hands. And he carried himself with a grace that seemed unnatural to a man so huge.

There was something in him, an air of sort, which demanded full attention. Devon knew Logain, trained under him, and he thought the man liked him. Yet now he saw another man, the man that led an army to conquer Gehaldan and made the earth swallow cities that opposed him. Logain eyes, as sharp and hard as they were, couldn't match the Dragon Reborn's eyes.

Cold gray stare, it was full of power. Power that had nothing to do with strength in saidin, a very tall man, Devon noticed, taller than Logain by an inch or two, with a way of moving that reminded Devon of a cat. Both men stood together, and it was more than simply standing a step from one another. "You call yourself Asha'man." It was a harsh whisper, it held so much emotion that Devon's eyes began to search for a hiding place. Yet, in the same time, it was emotionless. "I've given you this name, yet you have forgotten its meaning, so soon. Guardians of What is Right," A snake's hiss, that voice, threatening, looming, frightening. Full of scorn, "Do you have any idea what have you done?" Those gray eyes moved slowly across the room, sending chill into Devon's spine.

He didn't even try to meet those eyes, the Lord Dragon was on the edge, and it seemed he searched for a reason to leash out. "You've the self control of a lecherous goat!" Logain said into the silence, "And no more sense than a mule." His voice, too, was icy cold, and his eyes, not much less than the Dragon Reborn's eyes, bore holes into them.

"Half!" The Lord Dragon continued, he didn't raise his voice, but it came like a whip, "Half of the women here belong to Far Derais Mai! More than four hundred! Maidens of the Spears live for the battle; most of them would rather die than give up the spear. And, by their laws, a woman who had married can no longer belong to the spear." The Dragon Reborn took a deep breath, fury burned in his eyes and saidin filled him. By the look on his face, he was ready to kill them all.

"There is a saying among the Maidens of the Spear," Logain said softly, the softness of a blade being drew from its scabbard. "'You may belong to no man, nor may any man belong to you, nor any child. The spear is your lover, your child, and your life.'" The red hair man seemed incapable of speaking, attempting to control his temper, tension hung in the air heavily. Save the Dragon and the man that once claimed that title, no one dared moving, or talking.

"Now you understand what you have done?" The Dragon seemed ready to explode. "Under no circumstance you'll let your warders know anything about the law Taim issued regarding warders." Something crossed the man's face, gone in a flash, deep distaste. "This law will sustain, however. On this point, there is no argument between Taim and me. Yet, under no circumstance you will let your warders know the truth." Devon thought that nothing could make the man's eyes harder, sharper, he was mistaken. "If there was a way to break the bond, I vow, I would have tear it apart, and you along with it! Unfortunately, that is impossible." Devon tensed; nothing would make him give up Samira! Nothing!

And let the Dragon Reborn burn for it! All around him, he saw similar reactions. He heard Rhodri muttering a curse, and Jonan had a hand on his sword hilt. As if he saw nothing, the man continued, "There is no need to tell you to take care for the warders you have taken. You've no other choice, but remember this, Asha'man." From his mouth, it sounded like a curse, so full of scorn. "You've turned the Bond into a weapon, and every weapon has two sides. Beware of it when it will strike back at you."

The two men stared at the crowd, matching expressions on their face. Save their height, they looked nothing like one another, and yet they managed to look very much the same, mirroring each other. "You might have heard already," The Dragon said finally, "About large number of the Asha'man that had simply disappeared, including Taim. So far, no one seems to know what happened with them." Cold light burned in Logain eyes, matching the Dragon's. Few liked the M'Hael. Logain hated him wholeheartedly, and he made no secret of it. Which was either a show of stupid bravado or carelessness that amazed Devon. "As of now, Logain will lead you."

Logain face had a pained expression for a moment, so Devon thought, but that was impossible. Jonan inhaled slowly near him, "A wise choice," Jonan muttered, almost beyond Devon's hearing.

"I trust him with you." The Dragon continued, Logain sighed heavily as the Dragon turned and left, Devon studied the way he moved for a moment, it seemed that the man had no bones in his body!

"What am I going to do with you?" Logain asked suddenly, "You're supposed to be soldiers, weapons forged to fight the Dark One. I'd better soldiers when I was six years old and played with dolls!" Cold shout, that was the only way to describe Logain's voice. "Find yourselves rooms and make sure your warders know where to go. Then report here, you've exactly two hours, move! Anyone a minute late would regret it!"

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 15 May 1999]

[This was written with the aid of Alanna Sedai & Selinthia Avenchesca]

There was no soft awakening for Mierin, not this time. One moment she was deep inside a dream, the other, she was fully awake. The recent events crushed into her, and she sat, rigid, shaking. Moridin, Lews Therin, Narishma. Names, events, memories crossed her mind. Nothing I can do about it, she thought, surprisingly, the thought wasn't grim. She escaped one prison to find herself in another. It could've been worse, she told herself seriously, I could have died, or Moridin could have crushed the mind trap. She didn't know what would be worse. She had no intention finding out. "Dying is not something that should happen twice in a woman's life." She murmur, rising from the bed. For a moment she glanced down at herself, constantly surprised to find a body that was different from her own. She had her shift on, but not the dress. Maybe it was for the good, she began to develop a true hate for black and red. On the other hand, it had to be Narishma that undressed her, and the thought send her cheeks aflame.

Shaking her head and telling herself how silly she was behaving, why should she care if a man undressed her, before the War of Power, before she was sealed inside the Gre - Dark One's prison, she had more men than other women had dresses. She looked around, searching for something to wear. The bond had something to do with her newfound modesty, she was sure of it, but she had to find something to wear. She might die of blushing alone. She had no intention of dying in the near future - or the far future - from blushing or from any other reason. The dress she wore upon coming to Lews Therin was gone, for good, she hoped. She stared at the wardrobe, or at least at what she hoped was the wardrobe, it was too much to hope that the man remembered that she needed something to wear.

There was nothing in the wardrobe save few clothes, all in black, twisting her mouth in disgust, she noted to herself that she would have to talk with Narishma about it. There were other colors in the world. And he was about to have some of them.

It has been ages since she wore a man's clothes, literally, and Narishma's clothes were huge on her. Not to mention that she saw no mirrors in the room. Saidar took care of the first problem problems, thought not the second. The black breeches and shirt were still too big, but at least they would not trip her feet. She didn't bother with a coat. Properly covered, if not properly clothed, she went through the door near the wardrobe, she passed a room that was entirly empty. Another things she will have to talk with Narishma about, no one could live like this.

The thought stopped her on her track, when did she begin to think that she would share her life with Narishma? It wasn't only what he mentioned casually about her being his wife, what she wasn't and had no wish to be. She remembered him saying something about Tuning and sleeping the worst of it. How much had she slept, for that matter? Angry, she made her way to Narishma.

His sight stop her, he was lying in a chair that seemed to be planned to be as uncomfortable as possible. His head lied slump on the chair's back, and he was soundly asleep. Well, maybe not that much soundly, but certainly sleeping. Mierin considered her options for a moment, she could try waking him, but save using the Power, she saw no way of doing something, anything, that would wake him. She could feel his tiredness, maybe not even icy water would wake him now. And for some reason she didn't like the idea of using the One Power against him. She could send herself to sleep and find his dreams, very often it was a task that could easily take days. With Narishma's bond, she doubted if it would take her more than ten heartbeats to find him. She took a chair next to him and close her eyes before the realization hit her. She was on her feet and on the other side of the room before she stopped herself. Finding one's dreams was one thing, enterring them was something else entirely. What did she feel to Narishma? She rather not think about the only possible answer. Whatever it was, it was strong, very strong. And if Narishma felt for her half what she felt for him, she would be trapped in his dreams. Such incidents had to avoided, she told herself, shuddering. Such incidents could be extremly pleasant, or equally unpleasant, when emotion in such degrees were involved.

What are you so afraid of? A tiny voice inside mocked her, Narishma wishes you no harm. The thought was almost enough to make her enter his dreams, almost. She didn't want to know, she told herself. Strangely, it was the modesty she hadn't felt for so long that helped her now. She couldn't stay here, not with Narishma, not now, the temptation was too great. Then why are you avoiding it? That tiny voice asked her. She didn't know why, she didn't want to know why, all she knew was that she couldn't do it.

Her curiosity always got her into trouble, it was second to Lews Therin alone in that manner, but she never seemed to learn. Opening the black wooden door, Mierin went out into the caves deep inside the Dragonmount. There was much to explore, and for the first time in her memory, she wasn't bothered by her obsession for Lews Therin.

Almost two hours later, Mierin wanted to scream in frustration, the place made no sense, as far as she saw so far, those caves were big enough to contain a large city - the size of the cities from her own time. There were enough room there for hundreds thousands of people! Enough caves, all lighten by angry fire made of saidin, to hide an army the size that have not seen since the War of Shadow! Yet she saw no one there! Why have something so big when you had no need of it? She knew Lews Therin, he wouldn't have allow such thing unless he had some purpose. He wasn't the kind of man to enjoy such grands.

The feeling of wrongness was something she became used to, it was a part of who she was for time longer than she once believed possible, she could almost ignore it.

Shadowspawn! Her first thought was, what could shadowspawn do inside the Dragonmount? How could they reach inside the mountain?

Myrdraals! A part of her mind screamed, and then, a thought that brought a sweat of cold terror, Shaidar Haran! If it was Shaidar Haran, she wouldn't give herself up, life was precious, no one could know more than she herself how precious life was. But she wouldn't be something worse than a slave again.I wouldn't leave Narishma. She was too frighten even to consider that thought, so unlike herself.

She filled herself with saidar to bursting, few could fight her and hope to live, fewer could hope to win, most of those few died already. Lews Therin was the only one that had ever defeated her, in the War of Power, when she foolishly stepped into a trap and barely escaped with her life.

Moiraine Aes Sedai! The name flashed in her mind, the very first thing she had done after... returning was to learn everything she could about the woman who had killed her. No, she had to discount Moiraine, the woman had taken her by surprise, she wasn't about to let anyone do this again.

Thanking the Light wordlessly that she found no shoes in Narishma's rooms, luckily, the floor in all those caves was smooth as mild water, she walked on bare feet, without making a sound, following the sense of corruption. She readied a considerable number of the more nastiest weaves she knew. She could run, she could be on the other side of the world in less than an hour, and that only because she didn't know the place and had to use skimming. She could... but she couldn't. She would skin Narishma for making her like this. She had never had any trouble in fleeing from a threat.

It became even stranger when she reached a door much the same she saw almost everywhere here, but this door was different, for once, she was far from the populated areas of the mountain, if a little more than two dozens people could be called population, second, of course, was the fact that a considerable number of shadowspawn were hidden behind the door. She took a deep breath, Light, Shaidar Haran could be behind this door. She knew the creature could cut her off the True Source whatever she was touching it or not, as easily as she could kill a Trolloc. And she had no idea how the Hand of the Shadow did it. Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the bond that once tied her to the Dark One. She prayed silently that it was, if not, she was doomed. When she returned to the Light, for that matter? Skinning wouldn't be enough, for sure, she would have to think of something else. Later, she was going to take her time with this.

She opened the door, behind it, she saw a man, clad in black, too short to be Shaidar Haran, her reliefed sigh made him turn to her. He wasn't happy, not happy at all. For some reason, Mierin found herself smiling, this was going to be interesting. Closing the door behind her with a flow of Air, she struck with the female half of the True Source.

It is always dark, in the beginning. But where, for anyone, does the beginning begin? Philosophers have puzzled over such questions for countless turnings of the Wheel, and the woman was in no condition to ponder the nature of existence at the moment. Groggy, confused, nearly panicking, she turned her head sharply to the side as she tumbled from her prison, as she stared up at the tall, youthful looking man who stood above her sprawled form.

"You are awake," the man said, reasonably enough, but she narrowed her eyes, elemental suspicion springing into her senses immediately. Something about this man was wrong. She shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be here. Who was he? Who was she, for that matter? "I see you're rather confused," the man said. "It is to be expected," he nodded to himself. "Indeed, it is truly to be expected."

"Who are you?" she demanded, voice hoarse from so long a time without speech. When had she last spoken, come to think of it? A miniscule wrinkle appeared between her eyes as she attempted to puzzle this out.

"Ah, that is a question," the man said. What question did he answered for? "And many would truly like to know the answer. I will tell you this much. I am called Moridin."

Called? It wasn't his name? What was his name, or her own? "You caught that?" he sounded amused. Had he read her thoughts? No, that was ludicrous. No one, not even... who?... could read thoughts. Who had she been about to think of? He was more than others, that was she sure about.

"Very good. He'll be shocked, you know. He'll be torn apart."

"Who?" she asked aloud.

"You'll see," he smiled enigmatically. "You will indeed see, Ilyena Sunhair. You will indeed..."

Ilyena Sunhair, she stopped listenning That was her name, she realized with a start. And she remembered now. Like the name was a key to the door that locked her memories, she remembered her name, and all the rest. She remembered, and she wanted to cry, she understood why she forgot, there was a comfort in the absence of memories.

She knew who the he that Moridin was speaking of was. The same man she was thinking about, the man she was always thinking about.Her eyes blinked rapid tears, and her heart fired rapid shock and betrayal, and her mind blanked.

Lews Therin! The name was the center of her world for so long she couldn't imagine her life without him.

My husband! He was a great man, she knew it from the start, everyone could see it. That was why he was envied and hated. Rarely people could look at one that symboled all that they wanted without envy or hate or both.

My friend! It was Lews Therin whom she trusted with secrets and hopes and fears she couldn't tell her dearest friend.

My love! The Light burn her soul, but she loved the man more than her own life.

My murderer! She remembered dying, remembered all the pain involved. But more than all, she remembered the betrayel.

Moridin gazed down into her eyes, and, knowing she remembered, threw back his head, and laughed. "What do you mean to do?" she inquired, voice low, a dangerous glint suddenly appearing in her eyes, drying her tears. She refused to show weakness in front of this man. She would not! Lews Therin was the only one that knew all her weaknesses. The only one allowed.

"I mean to complete what I have begun," he said, his laughter halting, dark amusement shown in his eyes. "I mean to set you free."

She laughed bitterly, mirthlessly. "A Shadowsworn to set me free? With no strings? Me?" she assumed he was a Shadowsworn, in any case, and he did nothing to to deny it.

"I never said that," he smiled, almost mischievously, the sternness of his face marred by the glee in his eyes. "Everything holds a string of some sort, Ilyena Therin Dalisar. Everything! But I ask nothing of you, your very existance is a message to the Dragon, you are free to go." He gestured her forward, and though she loathed the fact that he was in charge of the situation, she still wanted out. Glancing over her shoulder once revealed the thing which had been her prison. Vaguely, she recalled the name of it. Stasis Box.

It's function to preserve an object, to shield it unaffected by the ravages of time or damage. An object, not a living being, it had... strange reactions when human were trapped in it. How long had she been imprisoned? How much time had passed? "You you really expect me to believe it?" She snorted.

Moridin closed the door the room where the box was contained, he didn't answer, and she couldn't see his face. The room they immerged into was large and tastefully appointed, though simply dressed. She smiled despite herself, feeling comfort radiate all around her. She trusted this room. Moridin smiled again, nastily. "Does it seem familiar?" he asked.

"Yes," she blurted, and then inwardly cursed herself for speaking. She would give him nothing! "It's a replica of the room you died in. You were walking into the hallway, and Lews Therin had just Traveled into the Palace. You were the first to die. The tremors shook you into the hall, but this place ... it remained all but unaffected, for more time you would have believed." he directed a wry look at her.

Ilyena clenched her teeth, glaring at him, "I may be your prisoner, but I will not dance to your tune," her voice was ice, even Lews Therin backed away from her when she used that tone.

"You are stubborn, you've always been" he nodded, "But no one can avoid dancing to all tunes."

"You'll excuse me if I try," she replied sarcastically. "I was never interested in what everyone could do."

"Of course I excuse you," he replied casually, "Because you will fail, and the struggle only makes it interesting. Now, your clothing is in the trunk over there," he gestured to a carved wooden luggage, "Along with some personal items and such. You are, of course, perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, so I did not include any weapons. The Aes Sedai of this Age are pathetic, half-trained girl who think highly of themselves. And against those Asha'man that can hurt you, no weapon would do." Justice's Guardians? What the man was talking about? Aes Sedai not properly trained? But it was a single word in the torrent of speak hit Ilyena Sunhair in the guts.

"This age?"

"Ah, did I forget?" he smiled in a manner that made her sure that he had bad news to tell her, and that he enjoyed it, "You have been sleeping for close to thirty four hundred years, give or take one hundred. The Age is ended, and the next almost finished. The Last Battle between the Great Lord, and his nemesis is approaching. Lews Therin has been Reborn."

"Reborn?" the room was spinning, and Ilyena was feeling distinctly ill.

"Didn't I mentioned that he died? After he killed you, Ishamael came to him, and healed him of his madness. He was offered the highest standing in the Great Lord's regard. The Great Lord would have resurrected you, and your children. But he refused, and destroyed himself. A mountain, called Dragonmount, marks his grave. The Hall of Servants prophecised his Rebirth, the life in which he would fight his last battle with the Dark One, the battle which will decide the fate of the Wheel. He is remembering, Sunhair. He did not want to, but he is. He remembers the end, and he remembers you."

"I will not be manipulated! You seek to turn me in the directions you wish, but I will not be manipulated!" her voice was a deadly hiss, at the moment, she was ready to attack him with her bare hands.

"His name is Rand al'Thor now, a sheepherder. He particularly dislikes being referred to as Lews Therin. But... I'm sure he'd make an exception with you. I'm quite sure." There was a glint of wry amusement in Moridin's eyes, "I truly hope you like the smell of sheeps, Ilyena." A shimmer marked the air, a darkness twisted the air, and he disappeared.

That was wrong. There should have been a gate of some sort. That was like no Talent she had ever heard of. She glared at the spot where he had gone from for a long minute, and then sighed. What good would glaring do? Walking over to the chest, she opened it, and eyed the strange garments incredulously. Their making and style were completely foreign to any clothing she had ever seen. Scowling, she slammed the trunk shut, and sat down on it, bringing long, slender legs into a crossed position. What was she doing? Contemplating clothing when the most devastating news she had ever known had just been delivered to her. Of course, he could have been lying, there was no logical reason to believe him ... except...

She had been waiting for him for what seemed like years, seating on a chair and worrying about him. If all goes well, she wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. If all goes well... What if he dies? She asked herself, or fails? The questions were meaningless, they had no other way. She agreed with Lews Therin on this. Although she still though it would be wiser if she could go with him. He won that arguement, but she hadn't agree to leave. She wouldn't leave her home and flee!

There was a flash of light, and the air seemed to turn, as a gateway opened. Lews Therin stepped through, his cloths were torn and dirty, stained with blood, he was never so beautiful. She jumped from the chair and run to him, laughing. It went well, he lived, and everything would be as it should be again.

Something lifted her off the ground, and she smashed against a wall. She couldn't understand what it was, she tried to shout, to warn Lews Therin. Never she doubted that he would protect her. She watched, eyes opened, fighting for breath. Refusing to believe her own eyes, when he rose his hands and lightning flashed from him. She forced her eyes open, even when the lightning became blinding. Sending tendrils of pain into her eyes. She heard distant screaming, her children! "Why?" She tried to whisper, how many died? How many of her children died? How many of Lews Therin's children?

She didn't take her eyes from him, not when terror filled her, not even when she died.

It had happened so quickly that she had not even the slightest chance of raising a shield, or do anything to prevent her husband's actions. And since when had she needed to raise a shield against Lews Therin? Then pain, brilliant pain for a single instant ... and darkness.

Moridin was not lying about that. Why would he lie about the rest? There could be a reason, but his words had rung of truth, of absolute, malicious honesty. Thirty four hundred years? How had she survived after death? How had this man, Moridin, come to hold her in his possession? And what was she to do now?

Rand Al'Thor. Her husband's new name. Slender, elegant hands twisted into knots as she shook her head. She would go to him. Sooner or later, she would. She would not be able to resist it. She had to find out what had happened, why he had killed her, and what had taken place at Shayol Ghul.

And who was he now? Another life. Would he accept her?

Standing, her face determined, Ilyena Sunhair turned towards the door as it opened. Two men stood there, servants by the look of them.

"Lady, we are to transport your chest of clothes to your horse," the taller man nodded towards the wooded container.

Horse? she frowned. Why would they use such primitive means of transportation? No one used horses save for sport. But if it was all they had here... perhaps the place was in remote location? But even that didn't completely explain it. There was always at least a jo-car, whenever people lived.

Enough, she berated herself. Figure that out later. For now, just make use of what you have.

"Indeed, sirs," she spoke coldly. She did not know the character of these men, and better safe than sorry, "You may do that, then."

The two men nodded, and moved to the large trunk, hoisting it up, moving toward the door again. She followed, wondering as to her composure. The clothes she was wearing at the moment were neat, cool, and as foreign as those in the trunk, she noticed now, knowing that the only reason she had not before was the shock of the entire situation. Soft yellow skirts, divided strangely, fell about her form, and her upper torso was clad in a tapered, silver embroidered, matching yellow tunic. Her jewelry was also tasteful, elegant silver. She frowned. Someone else wore silver, but not with yellow.

White gowns invaded her mind. White gowns, a beautiful face, and a hated identity. A womancalled Mierin. Mierin Eronaile! She remembered now. Full lips curled back in hate, and herdeep blue eyes glittered. Mierin! The woman who had once been Lews Therin's lover, the woman who had repeatedly attempted to take him back. Lews Therin never paid heed to the whore, of course, but it stoked Ilyena's own fires, directed her own anger. And the woman had turned to the Shadow, and called herself Lanfear, released the Dark One upon a world that had surpressed the instincts of war for long milleniums.

Never was it very far from the surface, however, she thought bleakly. Those skills came to us so very easily. Came to Lews Therin, whom the people called Dragon. Light, how he hated that name.

They had arrived in a stable, she saw. The horses, dead black fine stallions, were unnaturally quiet as one of them men saddled one of the equines, and the other lashed the trunk on. "Lady," the man who had spoken previously said, "Have you any further need of us?"

"I do not. You may go," she gestured them away, and a moment later, they were gone.

Approaching the horse she wondered how she would manage it. She'd never ridden a horse in her life. "Well, there's only one way to find out," she said out loud, she needed the comfort in hearing a human being, even if it was only her own. She led the horse outside of the stable, only to find herself blinded by a brilliant flash of light, and a feeling of vertigo. She had been transported somewhere, she knew it. Looking down, she found the perfect view of a city that seemed incredibly archaic in it's make. It was several miles to go, and not a vehicle in sight. Sighing, she glanced at the horse.

"Here's that time to find out," Ilyena muttered as she found a rock and clumsily mounted the horse, wondering why it had not yet panicked. Animals rarely took well to instant transportation. And that was another thing. What weaves had been used to make that gateway? It must be male work, she had not seen the weaves. Nonetheless, it was another talent she had not heard of. Perhaps they had made advances in this Age? But Moridin had called the Aes Sedai of the day "half-trained children." Another mystery to solve.

As she dug her heels into the horse's flanks, and felt it do not a thing at all, save for to shift and glance at her as though she were an idiot, she decided that the most important mystery before her at the moment was how to ride this bloody animal.

That came even before finding where to go.

Five minutes later, and Ilyena was ready to pull out her legendary golden hair in frustration. Or better yet, use it to strangle this cursed horse. Horses! How she longed for a true means of transportation. It was easy to understand why the people of her own time never made horses common mean of tranportation.

"I don't like you," she announced to the horse, leaning forward and around to look into it's placid eyes, "And you don't like me. But I'll tell you this much: I intend to win. And that's all there is to it. So you can be as stubborn as you like, but you're only delaying the inevitable."

The horse glanced back at her, and seemed to roll it's eyes. That was another thing about this animal. It seemed to have a personality all to itself. And there was nothing pleasant about it. It's main purpose seemed to concern her own percieved idiocy. It was not impressed with her speech.

Ilyena sighed and jerked on the reins again, kicking the horse once with her heels. The horse shifted and took several steps forward. Delighted, Ilyena repeated the process, and the horse took several more steps forward. It is working! The horse kept moving, with a little encouragement now and again, moving at a lethargic pace. She frowned; this was not nearly quick enough. Sharply, she kicked into the horse's sides, and it trotted forward several steps before slowing down once more. Resisting the urge to scream, the Aes Sedai grimaced. She could, theoretically, just Travel to the city, but she did not know her starting point, and it would take longer to map it out than it would to ride. And she had no where to skim to.

Besides, she had taken up the challenge, she was not going to back down from the stubborn stallion now. Jerking the reins to the left, she felt the horse move to the side. Now, one pointed kick, and the horse began to move again. Triumph flared within her, and she once more directed the horse forward, kicking after several seconds passed. Perhaps this would work after all.

Sleep gone like mist, slwoly, refusing to fade. Narishma yawned and try to seat on the bed, he remembered he hadn't slept in his bed, and the reason for this, half way to the floor. Cursing silently, and rubbing his side, he stood slowly. Mierin is not here! The thought sent him to saidin before he finished it. The sword that fell from his hands before flew to him. In less than a heartbeat he was ready to fight. All this just because she is not were you can keep an eye on her? He asked himself. It was terror that woke him, enough fear to wake him from a sleep as deep as he slept.

"Calm down, Narishma, there is no need to sulk." Mierin said, stepping through a black hole that appeared in the air. There was something behind her, but he ignored it, focusing on her, she wore man's clothes, his, for that matter, she even had the silver pin of a dedicated on her collar and the dragon of the Asha'man too. His clothes should be huge on her, but she somehow made the neccessary changes. They were still too big on her, but somehow, she looked stunningly beautiful even so. Silverlike hair and night black cloths only made her more exotic. The contrast made his eyes focus on her face.

"The bond," He answered her, only half of his mind could think on an answer. Well, quarter, at least! The rest was too busy admiring her. "Don't you dare simply disappear on me like this again," He fought to keep his voice calm. "You've no idea how much you've worried me!"

"I worried you!" She snapped, "You slept like a baby when I left, what was I suppose to do? I simply went for a little walk, not even a stone head like you can say anything wrong about it!" She was barefoot, he noticed, he couldn't remember where he put her clothes after he put her in his bed. She can be dangerous, he reminded himself, be careful. "And if this is not enough for you, Jahar Narishma," Her tone was molten ice, frozen fire. For some reason she remind him of saidin. In order to control the male half of the True Source you've to fight it for every heartbeat you were full of life and corruption. He wasn't fool enough to try fighting with her, he had the devastating feeling that she would always win. And wouldn't even breath hard doing it. A soldier had to learn what fight one had to avoid. "I've found shadowspawn in this so-called safest of all places!"

Narishma looked at her for twenty heartbeats before coming back to himself, for the first time, he look beyond her, and groaned in desperation. He wanted to strangle her, "Let him go, Mierin." He said, saidin flowed in him, as much as he could take, ecstasy so strong it became almost pain. He accepted the struggle gladly, the harder he had to fight saidin, the better. He didn't want to think about Flinn, hanging in the air, mouth gagged, eyes glaring.

"Have you heard me, Asha'man Narishma?" The woman made his tamper flared faster and stronger than it ever did. "He was hiding shadowspawn in-"

"I've heard you, woman." He snapped at her, Flinn's glare promised death at best, or something worse. How did you force your will on a warder? Something to with your own will, as far as he heard. He had no intention to take a warder until the Last Battle, at least. It wasn't fair to take a woman as your warder when you might die a day after tomorrow, or even during the next hour. Now he cursed his lack of interest in the subject, "Mierin," he said, he tried to... push the knot of emotions in the back of his head, push it with his will alone, "let Flinn go."

Pushing wasn't quite what he did, but words were often useless, if it came to describing what one did when one used the One Power. He should have choosed his words more carefully. So he discovered, Mierin appearantly simply withdraw her flows. She held Flinn three feet about the floor, and the graying Asha'man crushed into the floor as soon as Mierin complied the order. He discovered one more thing, forcing his order was extremely unpleasant, for himself, not for her. What he felt for it was only true and deep distaste, he had no idea whatever this particular emotion resulted from the bond, or whatever it was something that belonged entirely to him. Sending a hard glance to Mierin, she seemed to be unaffected by what had just done.

Flinn, however, was affected. And not for the good side of it.

"This is your warder, Asha'man?" He asked in a hard voice. And saidin filled him to bursting. The man was strong, how could Mierin capture him?

"Hardly, and not of my choice." He answered, Lanfear is second to Ishmael alone. The thought troubled him, and for a good reason. "What has she done?" Mierin opened her mouth, he enjoyed very much gaping it with air. He could feel her glare on his back, but she did nothing. She did held saidar, he could fill the tingling on his arms. But all she did was glaring at him.

Flinn nearly shock with anger, "That... That...."

"However I'd her, Ahsa'man Flinn," He said, before he would have to do anything beyond saying, "She is still my warder."

"I want my Trollocs back, Narishma. She burned them all." Flinn said angrily, Narishma thought that was the first time the Asha'man lost his temper.

His flows were torn apart, and he grunted in surprise, staring at his warder, she gave his the tiniest smile possible, "What have you done with those Trollocs?" Mierin asked. "What could anyone do with Trollocs save-"

"I will make sure you'll have your trollocs back by this time tomorrow." Narishma said, "Mierin simply made a mistake, I... will have a talk with her about it." And just to clear the point, he wove Traveling, and a gateway resolved into Flinn's room. The man chose to live in the part of the Dragonmount that was empty of people, not that there was a part that didn't. Staring into the man's rooms, Narishma did his best not to shiver. The man took Healing all too seriously. The man insisted on studying everything he could about Healing, everything.

Flinn had nothing to say, apperantly, or too much to, but Narishma nearly collapsed when the man only muttered something about men and boys that Narishma pretended not to hear. "Make sure she will not do such thing ever again, Asha'man." Flinn said aloud, in a very cold voice.

"I've no intention of allowing it," Narishma murmured, half to himself, half to Flinn and Mierin.

"Is there any explanation to why he kept shadowspawns in here?" Mierin asked as soon the gateway began to turn and disolve. "And what make you even think that I will allow you to-"

"I think we need to talk, before both of us will say things that we might regret saying." He cut her off, Light, I'm too tired to do anything but sleeping. Certainly too tired to have such an important conversation. But he saw no way of delaying it.

Her mood was lightning quick, she took a chair, the most comfortable one in the room, not that it meant something, and motioned him to seat, as it it wasn't his rooms they were in. "You've spoke about something called Tuning, Narishma, what was that?" She began.

Narishma took the chair, one thing was clear, he will never be bored with her, for some reason, he couldn't recall what was so bad in being bored. "Tuning is..." He began, then stopped, not sure how to define something he wasn't really sure he understood himself. "When an Asha'man bonds a woman as a warder, the weave needs to... change her, and him, so to speak. It doesn't really change who you are, it..." He signed, forcing down a yawn. "It make sure that the Asha'man and the warder would be able to live together without killing each other. It has something to do with changing the way you feel for certain things, such as the Dark One, or the Asha'man. As far as I understand, it's not recommended to stay awake while it take place, your behaviour varries, and there is no limit to what you may do." He smile was wry, the turrent of life and curraption was the only thing that kept him awake. "I don't really know much about it, I never planned to marry."

She froze to his words, "We are not married." She said, she sounded like a queen.

"There is no difference, Mierin." He explained, "In the Black Tower, your warder is your wife, and the bond is equal to marriage." This time, he couldn't hide the yawn.

"Really?" Her tone was dangerous, but he was simply too tired to care. He let saidin go, and nearly collapsed when the walls saidin created, the walls that barred his emotion and body, collapsed. He nearly collapsed himself.

"Bah!" Mierin snort in disgust, "You're too tired even to think!" Her tone changed, "Can you carry yourself to bed?" He was too tired to understand the new emotion he could feel through her.

"Mierin," that was the last he said, everything seemed to crush on him, he hadn't slept enough, and was too tired to fight sleep. Surrender was something alien to those who held saidin, but this time, Narishma had no choice. He had to make one last effort before he give up to sleep, and to dreams. "Don't do anything... drastic." With that his energy ended, and he could sleep.

Mierin looked at the man that claimed to be her husband for a long time. Every part of his body would ache if he would continue to sleep like this. She saw no reason that it should bother her. No reason at all. He sounded barely coherent, talking about Tuning emotions and marriage as if he was sleeping already. "I've seen more men dying that I can count." She muttered to herself when she wove Air. "I've killed and tortured more times that I want to think about," That was true, her actions during the time she named herself Lanfear made her stomach uneasy. "Why should I care if a man already half mad wouldn't sleep well?"

On the other hand, if what he said was right, she was also married to Lews Therin, married for less than a day. "That is what happened when you let a man kiss you," She grumbled, releasing her weave and letting Narishma drop to bed. "Troubles!"

For some reason, the idea of being married to Lews Therin hadn't its affect on her. "I hate this!" She murmured, seating on the edge of the bed. "I really hate it, and you too, Narishma!" She hated not being sure what she felt. Not being sure where she was heading to.

"Death, probably." She murmured, "Again!" She didn't like the thoughtabout dying, not when she knew what was expecting her. She didn't like the thought about her own death even when she had no idea what death truly mean. But her course was set, "To run from one prison, just to find myself in another. And no way to flee or even to twist the bars!" Her laugh was hollow even to her own ears. "That is just the thing you would have gotten youself into before the War, Mierin. But not it's not a game, woman. And you can't leave, not now, not forever."

"Burn all men!" She grumbled, tucking her legs beneath her, and seating more comfortably so she could stare at Narishma with unhidden hate. She hated him! "And let saidin burn with them!" If only she could see the weave used to bind her, if only... The last time you tried doing such thing, Mierin, you set the Dark One free. Said a small voice inside her, What can not be altered must be accepted, the voice continued, sounding so reasonable that she wanted to throw something at it. Are you a-? She muted the voice hastily. And pictured herself stumping on it, just for good measures.

"Who am I? What I've become?" She asked the air aloud. She was used to control the world around her, and despite it when she couldn't. Before, she always back away before everything crushed on her. Now... "Can I escape you, mia'cova'asham'man?" Mia'cova'asham'man, the Asha'man who is my owner.

Her mind reversed the questioned, Can you escape me, mia'da'covale'asha'man? Mia'da'covale'asha'man, the Asha'man who is owned by me. A small smile twisted her lips, a satisfied grin. Here was a man that could never leave her, who couldn't even consider the option of leaving her for another woman. And somehow, she didn't think the prison she was in now was so horrible now, not when she thought about it fully. Not when the bars held Narishma as well as herself.

"So I'm to be your wife?" Her voice chimed. "I wonder who will win the bargain, Narishma. You see, I've no intention of losing."

The first gateway she wove was into a room that was placed almost half way around the world from where she was. The second were to the lands beyond the Aiel waste, a land called Shara, and two or three dozens names beside. The third were to Tar Valon, the forth, to the Blight.

Riber shifted his feet, sighing as he glanced at the sky. Guard duty. How incredibly boring it was. Just what had he been thinking when he'd signed up to the city watch? Of course, considering that his only options had been the Watch, or taking over his Father's inn, he'd chosen the Watch. This bit of recollection, however, did nothing to alleviate his boredom.

A moment more, and he would have sighed again, but glancing out of the open gates, he saw, approaching, a fine black stallion being very clumsily ridden by a tall, slender, finely dressed woman.

Light, this woman looked like she'd never been on a horse in her life. Considering how she was dressed, Riber assumed that she was either a merchant or a noblewoman, her poise cried out Queen. Of course, that was ludicrous, but the guard smiled at the notion nonetheless. Golden haired, clumsy Queen. As he observed, the woman stopped some fifteen feet from the gates, leaned over the stallion's side and slowly slid down, further showing her lack of riding experience. As soon as the woman began to walk, however, all thoughts of clumsiness were banished from the man's mind. Her every movement was grace, flowing like water over a fall. Riber snorted at his own overblown romanticism, knowing the mental poetry was unskilled and clumsy itself.

The woman had reached the gates, though, and no matter how infatuated he was with her appearance, he was still obligated to question her.

Ilyena frowned at the man who held out a hand to stop her. He seemed puzzled that she did not automatically do so, truth to tell. She had seen the wall, and wondered as to it's appearance. Walls did no good, with the power she could topple down any wall, unless made of heart stone, and the ideas of so much cuandilar was ridicules. And the dangers of a city came as often from within as from without. Still, the wall seemed to fit into this whole strange scenario, this almost dreamlike situation. Or it would have been dreamlike if she hadn't been required to work so hard to move but a few spare miles. For some reason, the stories seemed to ignore such things.

The man began to speak then. Ilyena blinked. He seemed to be speaking an incredibly primitive language, a butchered and maimed version of the Common World tongue. Her confusion must have shown because he soon halted and stared at her. He then began to speak in the slow, incredibly irritating manner that people tend to take when speaking to a foreign citizen, emphasizing every syllable. Grimacing once more, Ilyena reached into herself, and embraced saidar, weaving with Spirit to form the solution. It was an almost forgotten weave, something she had learned long ago and all but forgot, there was never a need for the weave before.

The woman must be a foreigner, but what foreigner did not speak Common? Everyone spoke Common, thought the guard matter of factly. And then suddenly, the woman smiled to herself and spoke.

"Guardsman," she nodded her head slightly. Now that was even stranger. She had not understood what he was saying but a moment ago, Riber was sure. The incomprehension had been in her lovely blue eyes, brilliant there. And now she seemed to understand perfectly. He almost shuddered. What if this woman was an Aes Sedai? Aes Sedai could do all sorts of strange things, and in these troubled times, when the Dragon himself walked again, and the Dark One was breaking free, anything was possible.

Rumors of Aes Sedai all around, as well as, terrifyingly, an order of male channelers who followed the Dragon - as if that cursed man had not broken the world once with male channelers! Was he so determined to do it again? - one woman approaching a gate being Aes Sedai was not all that unlikely. Not after he had seen one of those black cloths, and black soul, Asha'man enterring the Sun Palace as if he owned it. Still, Riber felt so regretful as he watched her. She was so very beautiful.

It really was a shame. Of course, it wasn't a fact that she was Aes Sedai, but he saw vividly that sudden, magical comprehension in her eyes, and felt that it was true.

Ilyena gazed upon the man, carefully, seeing the sudden light and - regret? - in his eyes. What had he to be regretful for? It put her on her guard, and she inwardly tensed, ready to use upon saidar at the slightest provocation.

"What is you name, Lady?" the man inquired curtly, all business, not making a move toward her. Inwardly, she frowned. This was all very puzzling.

"Ilyena Therin Dalisar," she said.

The man nodded, and then paused for a moment, frowing at her and giving brief shake of his head. "What mother can be so cruel to give her own daughter such a name?" he muttered under his breath. Too low for her to hear if she wasn't holding saidar.

Ilyena frowned once more. Slightly angry, there was nothing wrong with her name, and any way, no one here would recognize it anyway. An Age had passed, and thus she had used it without fear of persecution should the man turn out to be a Friend of the Dark. What was so strange about it?

The man must have noticed her frowning, for he tensed once more, and said, "And you are from?"

Ilyena blinked and said, "Shal Tera." What else could she say? It was the city that the Palace she had lived in with Lews Therin had bordered. She knew not the names of any modern city, and so was counting upon the lack of recognition to perhaps convince the man she came from a city far too small or remote to be recognized.

He frowned once more at her, deeply, and said "I don't recognize that name. What country is it in?"

Light burn it all but she had no answers to that. Why was she answering his questions at all. She was Aes Sedai! But if what Moridin said was true, and it very much looked to be so, then she was stranded in a time she knew nothing of, and thus needed to learn their ways. Still, enough was enough. The man was a common guard and customs official. She knew of those, and there was nothing to learn there. Quickly, Ilyena drew upon the Source, weaving skillfully, and draping a blanket upon the man's senses, smothering his awareness. A moment later, and both she and her horse, whom she had, during the ride, decided to call Halec, after an old folk tale about the proverbial "Most Stubborn Man in the World," were through the gates. Of course, the tale was very old, those who composed it never knew Lews Therin.

Merchants hawked their wares, women gossiped with neighbors, Men strode boldly in to taverns, and children played in the streets. Some things never change. Ilyena led Halec along the main street, eyes wide as she inspected the beings all around her. Some things never change, but Ilyena felt a sinking feeling in her heart as she realized that many other things did, and in very significant manners. It hit her then that the time she was stranded within seemed to have regressed, rather than progressed, that something must have happened to completely set back development. That brought her thoughts back to another matter. The Aes Sedai of the Age.

Had they regressed as well? Is that why Moridin had called them "half-trained children?" But that was ludicrous. The Hall would never allow such a thing to happen. Ilyena inwardly sneered. If the man had lied about nothing else, he had lied about that. The Hall took it's responsibilities very seriously, and protected it's secrets closely. But then, how could the Hall have allowed the world itself to regress?

This was all meaningless speculation; she could not make any conclutions without more extensive information. Perhaps when she found Lews Therin, he would tell her. But, would Lews Therin accept her? Would she accept him, would she ever be able to forgive him? She could not decieve herself, and think that all was well, that she was not angry with him. She kept it buried deep, but she was angry. It threatened to bubble over in a rush of rage, but she surpressed it, forcing it down in her chest, chocking on it's tendrils. Her own death was not something she could forget, how many others had he killed? All their children were in the palace, every friend she or he had in the world. Lews Therin had gathered them all, to make sure they would be safe, how many had he killed before he stopped? Or had been stopped?

No, this was not the time to confront these issues. Before that happened, she must first find him. And how was she to do that when she knew nothing now of the world? Confront that issue first, Ilyena thought to herself.

Leading her horse to a fruit stand, she smiled at the merchant in chanrge. The man blushed furiously, and rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, eyes flickering from her to the apples in his stand, and then back to her. Ilyena knew her own attractiveness, but this man's reaction was rather overstated. Perhaps he was simply shy.

"Hello, sir," Ilyena said, she hated this new language, how could they abandon the more civilized tongue?

"Mistress," the man bobbed his head at her.

"Sir, can you tell me the name of this city?" Ilyena asked, putting on her prettiest smile.

The man's face went blank, gapping shock. "You don't know, Mistress?"

"I've rarely been away from my home," she said.

"Yes, yes," the man said, "You do have a strange accent. Pardon me, mistress. Hope you don't take no offense."

"None taken."

"Right mistress. Hope you don't take it wrong, but you looked like you're worried about something, when I saw you to begin with, if you know what I mean. Don't know as I agree with a young lady like yourself running away from her home, but perhaps you have good reason," he bobbed his head again, but Ilyena had frozen in shock. Young? The last she'd seen her own face, she had the face of a woman in her late twenties, the way the man said it made her feel like a girl that shouldn't have left her mother's skirts.

"The city?" she whispered, shocked.

"Cairhien," the man said. "I know it's a crazy place to be just to sell apples, but these are crazy times, if you know what I mean." Ilyena, though she was hardly in the know of current happenings, nodded. It was certainly crazy for her.

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate your assisstance," Ilyena acknowledged.

"You're welcome, Mistress," the man nodded after her, head bobbing all the while.

Ilyena, caught up in her own thoughts as she led Halec away, did not noticed as the man scuttled off from his stand, an intent look upon his face.

The apple merchant bowed before the lord, staring up in greed and trepidation. "You have something for me?" the lord demanded, rather petulantly. It was time for his bath, and his extra-marital companion would be annoyed should he be late for their session at her estate.

"Yes, Lord Vernhar," the merchant said, bobbing his head. "There's a woman, a foreigner and nobelwoman, it looks like. She was dressed in a finely cut yellow riding suit, and she wore all fine and pretty silver jewlery. Real items. She was young, around twenty five. She had long gold hair and blue eyes, slender. One of the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my life," the man smiled as he said it.

Vernhar glanced down with annoyance, "Stop drooling, you old lech. Now, take your gold and go," he tossed the bag of gold he held in his hand toward the old merchant, who caught it with greedy paws. However attractive the woman was to him, the gold of her hair apparently could not compete with the gold of coinage.

A foreign young noblewoman, Mikel Vernhar mused, What is she here for?

One thing was certain. Whatever it was, Vernhar meant to find out.

It was the cold that woke him, or so he thought, a flash of freezing wind, that somehow took all his tiredness as it touch him. When he opened his eyes, the very first thing he noticed was Mierin, his warder and wife, moving away from him. "It's about time you'll wake." She said seirously, there was no hint of mockery in her, and the foolishness she wore as a mask before was gone. "I took care of the exhaustion, but I wouldn't reccomend it for you to tired yourself, you're simply unaware of your body exhaustion."

"What happened to you?" He asked, rising from the bed, he had to take a bath, and change his cloths, he noticed. The room wasn't his own, that was another thing he noticed. He clapsed his teeth hard, he wasn't about to ask questions, and she could burn if she thought he would dance to her will. Where was he? The rooms were black and white and silver, pleasant to the eye, but not in any design he could recognize.

She blinked to his words, "What do you mean?" She truly sound as if she had no idea what he was talking about.

Another thought came to him, horrifing, "How much time I've slept?" He asked, his voice cold and hard. The Lord bloody Dragon set the time for the cleansing of saidin. If he had slept for more than a day... He couldn't let himself miss the most important event in the entire age.

"Four or five hours," She replayed. "There is still a full day before Lews Therin means to cleanse saidin." She tilted her head slightly, "I still don't understand how he is about to do so."

Apperantly, bath would have to wait. He didn't smell that bad! Rising from the bed, he scanned the room quickly, hoping to do it without being noticed. The bed was made of black wood, but the blanket and the mattress were pure white. The bed posts each had a silver thread running throught them in a complex pattern. The floor of the room had a carpet, black and white, with silver sinuous line separating the two halves of the ancient symbol of the Aes Sedai.

The walls were utter black that returned no light. The only source of light were a small globe. White and silver spot that seemed to struggled and moved around each other. He could see silvers lines in the wall, pointing him to a wardrobe. They were in his rooms. She simply changed them, in the space of four hours? He wondered, how could she...? He let the question drop, he doubt if there was something she couldn't do.

"You decorated this room?" He asked, as if there was any other option.

She incline her head, "Don't you like it?" She asked, she sound almost... hesitated. "I think that I would have like it better if it would have been silver and white alone. But since you're Asha'man, I thought you would like me to add some black colors too." She changed her cloths, he noticed. To a dress in the white and silver she seemed to be so fond of. The dress made her pretty, but he didn't like her in white, she looked... pale.

"White doesn't fit you," he noted before he thought. He winced inside, waiting for the explosion. He had no more choice but to carry on. "You have pale colors, and white only make you..." He cut off when he glanced at her face.

"I see," That was all she said. He found himself wishing for any other responce.

"I didn't mean to insult you, Mierin."

"Do I deserve the name?" She asked sharply, "I gave it up long ago, Narishma. I doubt if I can simply gain it back. I was named Cyndane, that seemed to fit." She laughed bitterly, mirthlessly. "It fit very well."

Last chance? The betrayer Dashiva insisted to teach him some of the Old Tongue. "Dark colors will fit you better, Mierin." He continued, if he was about to walk over the cliff, he might as well do his best to make a good show the way down. "They would make a lovely constract to your hair and face."

She bit her bottom lip and turned her back to him. His skin tingled. "I wish I could hurt you, Narishma." He almost missed her whisper. He could tears in her eyes, "I don't like you, I don't like what happened. By now, the hounds had been sent. Myradraals, Darghkar, the Chosen, Shaidar Haran," There was so much fear in the name she spat that his hands closed to fists before he was aware of it. If he would ever have half a chance, this Shaidar Haran was as good as death, just because The Hand of the Dark made Mierin afraid.

"The Lord Dragon delayed the cleansing because of you, Mierin." He said, "I think we have about one more day before it will all start. Meantime, why don't you let me explain everything to you." It wasn't a matter of choice, with the bond, his mind knew it, everything that would try to harm Mierin would have to pass through him. The bond changed emotions, pattern of thinking, even when you were aware of its affects. It seemed to be his own idea, to protect her against everything in his power.

He would first have to learn what made her so afraid, he had no intestion to let her stay that way.

Half an hour later, he found that he enjoyed her company. It was a pleasant surprise, "You see, it's not that the bond force me to love you, or the other way around." He answered a question she had just asked him, "What the bond does force is loyality, the impulse to protect, to preserve. I will never truly feel relaxed unless I'll have you in my sight. You are more important to me than my own life."

"That is not something a soldier can afford himself," Mierin noted, and he nodded.

"Yes, it isn't. But in certain circumstances, I can put your life in danger, even sacrifice you, if there is a need of it."

"Oh?" She said, "And what are those circumstances?"

"I must have your permission, not the words, just knowing that you are ready to give up your life in this particular course of events. That you value the cause of my actions, where it put you in risk, more than you value the danger to your skin."

She began to laugh, "It make no sense, Narishma." She said, "No sense at all."

He smiled at her, wonderring if she knew how beautiful she looked, smiling, laughing. "I told you before, I don't know much about the bond." Waiting for her laugh to die, he stared at pale eyes, "Now you're ready to answer my questions? I've certainly answered enough of yours."

"I think," She suggested, "that for every question you ask, I'll ask one too. I think that is the only way in which both of us can be satisfied."

"Why are you so afraid of Shaidar Haran?" He asked immediatly.

"Why do you obey Lews Therin?" She shot back. If he couldn't feel her emotions, he would have never known about that cold wave of terror that threaten to drowned her. "That is why I'm afraid of Shaidar Haran! He can make the source vanish, even when you're holding it. He had done as much to me! I've seen it happen to others!" She rose from the chair and faced him, her eyes lighten with anger. "Only a fool fears nothing, Jahar Narishma!" She hissed at him, "And it take a greater fool to face what I've and not afraid the results of my actions."

"And what exactly have you faced?" He kept his voice calm, and his head too. But he, too, rose from the chair.

Pale face became paler, and she sat down in her chair, face calm, her eyes regarded him with a ilent warning. "Why all this space? No one live in here anyway, why wasting so much of the One Power making it?"

He wasn't ready to let her get away of it. But he let it go, for now, at least, he would find out the truth from her one way or the other. "We've all done it, a circle including all of us, fourteen Aes Sedai and four Asha'man, led by Rand al'Thor. A safe place, maybe the last of them, so the Lord Dragon call this place. This is to be the last resource before the end." Narishma didn't like to think about it. There was a slight difference between preferring for the worst and heading this way. "This place could easily contain more than one million people in abslute safety." The smile on his face was wry, he wasn't aware of it. "It can hold off a another breaking."

"Million people, and no source of food." Mierin said. She pointed a slender finger at him, "What are they suppose to eat, or to drink?"

"There are water enough about a mile below us," he said, "as for food," it was then when he realize why she asked that question, "We get our food from the Sun Palace's kitchen." He embraced saidin, life and death and so much sweatness he thought he might begin crying. The gateway opened into a small corner in the kitchen in the Sun Palace in Cairhien. A corner that none of the kitchen's workers would even look at. He was hungry, Mierin was starved.

He glanced at the widnows of the kitchen for a moment, it was evening, it was very easy to forget time entirely where you lived in a place where you never seen the sun.

"My Lord Asha'man," a tall man, and almost as fat as he was tall, bowed to him, "How can I serve you?" Narishma looked at him, that was new. He wondered who was responsible for this. A word from an Asha'man lips meant more to commoner than a speach of the High Lords of Tear. And no wonder about it.

If this continue, Narishma thought grimly, at the end they will crown one of us! Did Cairhienin never thought about talking with someone, instead of bowing to him? "Some food if all I need." He answered quietly. It heartbeat, so it seemed, he had a tray full of food in his hands, more than any five men could eat together. Mierin peeked through the gateway, and send him a grin that took the breath right from his throat.

"Thanks you," He said, there was no need to be rude. Smiling, he went back to his quarters, just seeing the look on the man's face was worth it all. Mierin took a a piece of bread from the tray before he took three steps. Until he put the tray on the single table he owned it seemed that at least half of the tray was gone.

"Have you used saidar?" He said, clear blue eyes stared at him, his skin tingle, she held an apple in one hand and some kind of a cookie in the other. She nodded, calmly.

For himself, he used more... traditional methods and used a spoon. "Now," He said, she finished the apple already. "You're going to tell me all the things you've avoided." She opened her mouth, but he wasn't ready to have it, not any more. Stabbing the air in her direction with a spoon he said, "I can have it with your will or mine, Mierin, the choice is yours."

It took a little more than an hour, with Mierin's eyes stared at his face, her face and voice held no warmth, her eyes were a raging storm, blue fire. The food lied abandoned, he doubt if he could eat ever again. Now he began to wonder if he really needed to know half what she told him. He wanted to cry, not for himself, but for her.

He remembered dying, he knew he was mad. But he couldn't make himself care about it. Ilyena, the thought sent shivers of pain in Lews Therin's mind. A pain stronger than any of the body. Today was the day. The day his action will be erased, maybe some of the guilt he carried would be eased after today. He didn't thought so, but he could always hope. Hope is all I've. All I've left for the world. He said, or thought, the other man, another reflection of himself, ignored him. I've seen hope die too many times to believe it could exist anymore. Sammael destroyed hope, Ishmael betrayed it. I alone had killed the last remants the shadow left. Hope died that day in Shayol Ghul. Hope died in the Breaking. Those who survived envied the dead, but even death hold no peace for the dragon. Not even death halts fate. How many died for my pride? How many have died for yours? How many will die?

The man ignored him, tried to mute him, Lews Therin could break the walls of the prison, but it would take too much effort. He watched through eyes that weren't his own, but still were his. Logain, Leane, Toveine and Halima. It wasn't his mind that recalled the names. Words were exchanged, Lews Therin ignored them, nothing could matter this day, nothing save saidin. He wasn't the one control the flow of the male half of the True Source that washed him in life. That rotten his very soul. But he could feel it as if he was the one who struggled against the source, when the slightest mistake meant death, when you danced with saidin on the razor edge on bare feet. With saidin flowing through him, he could do anything, he had done anything. Death is lighter than a feather. Again, it wasn't him who qouted the saying.

Others arrived, fourteen women that called themselves Aes Sedai, girls messing with powers they knew nothing about. It could have been almost amusing, if he could ignore the memories of what had been done to him by them. Today, the urge to kill, to destory, had to be muted, they were needed, later... it might not be necessary. Lews Therin abandoned hope long ago, all he had left was the urge to revenge. He couldn't believe anything would result this day's deed, save death. This is how the world die, he said in a soft voice, you are trying very hard to destroy the world, my name awakes nightmares in every soul alive. You will leave none for the nightmares.

Ilyena, he could save her, if only he could trust Mierin's words. She hadn't lied to him, but the idea was ridiculous. If only he could forget duty, if only for a little while, that small time needed to travel to Shayol Ghul. If only the other side of him, a reflection of him that still believed there might be a victory without a price beyond his worst nightmares, would've been ready to give up. He gain control on the body, not on saidin, and that was what mattered.

Aes Sedai's gift? Lews Therin refused to answer, it was hard, when the other could read his thoughts. Always a price that is lower than you could ever wish, always a price beyond your wildest dream. But can I allow myself not pay that price? Can I allow myself be other than the Dragon Reborn?

Answer me, Lews Therin! Light burn your soul! Answer me! The other demanded. But Lews Therin cloud himself in silence, griefing his long dead Ilyena.

Ilyena Sunhair swallowed in near-fear as she gazed upon her own image, reflected back in the small, ornately decorated mirror that hung from the stand where various trinkets and small furniture were displayed. She had wandered deeper into the market place after leaving the apple stand, searching with a singleminded determination for a surface in which to see her own reflected image. She had found it. The mirror before her was small and the glass itself was crudly crafted, but it reflected clearly the image of a young woman in her twenty, creme skin smooth and clear, blue eyes large and bright, lips dark red, golden hair shining brilliantly without a touch of grey. The face were right, maybe younger than she remembered, but... all the rest, the body language mainly, were of a young woman. Only the eyes remain unchanged, as she remembered them, deep blue that hides many secrets.

Light' she thought, for the first time truly understanding what happened to her. She pushed it away before, not wanting to realize what happened. It was too painful to think about, but now she had to. Light help me, what has happened to me? I was dead! How did they ressurect my body? Death cannot be Healed, who did this? And How? Light, why didn't I think of this before? Was I just too overwhelmed? What? I'm young again? Young and lost more thouroughly than I could ever have in my world. It may be the same planet, but this truly is a different world. Primitive fools! They don't know what was lost! How was it lost?!

Despair rose within her, and for the first time, she truly realized that she was alone. Alone. Except for her horse. Turning to Halec, she clumsily scrambled upon the saddle, reaching forward to firmly pat his neck. At least she had no need in a rock this time.

"Stubborn male," she thought, and realized that her musings of the horse were fond. "Perhaps you'll make a friend yet, Halec. You'll take me to Lews Therin, won't you?"

The horse wickered softly, and a woman walking past gasped in horror as she overheard Ilyena's question. She glared fiercly at the Aes Sedai and hissed, "Darkfriend!" before hurrying on, pale face.

Darkfriend? A Friend of the Dark? What had she done to warrent such an accusation? What had she said? Absently, she kicked at Halec's sides with her heels. The horse glanced over his shoulder at her, eyes stubborn, and she realized that no matter her fondness, he was still going to make her learn proper riding method, even if he had to drag her kicking and screaming.

Ilyena slid down from the horse once more, sighing as she wondered what to do. She had no coin; she could not procure a room in any inn. Where their Aes Sedai who might take her in, upon honouring their Order? Perhaps so.

She hated to depend upon charity, but a wise woman knew when to surrender her pride. It would soon be dark, and she did not want to spend the night out in a cold, unfamiliar city. Drawing a deep breath, Ilyena embraced saidar, and sent out probing tendrils of Power, searching for a trained Aes Sedai presence. Over the city in sweeping motions until finally she found a being filled with saidar. Someone was embracing the Source, but it was so rough, so crass, so very clumsy. How could anyone save an ignorant fool wield the Source in this manner? Perhaps this one had not yet come to know her gift; there were parties searching and testing and training a those with the potential at all times, but no one was found instantly. There was always the chance that this girl had not been found yet. But something disturbed Ilyena, as she continued to search. Two more beings she found, in similar condition. One was possible, but three in the same city, unaware of their gift? It was not possible. And there were no trained Aes Sedai around her. Still... perhaps if she found one of these girls she could tell them of their gift, and thus gain hospitality for the night. Those who found they could channel were usually ecstatic. Course decided, Ilyena once more tested the waters, as it were, searching for the strongest presence. There it was. Now she had a destination.

She had come to a small, seemingly private home far from the hassle and bustle of the inner city. It was painstakingly neat looking, prim and proper. Ilyena dismounted from Halec, and tied the reigns to the tree which decorated the yard. Meeting the stallion's dark eyes, Ilyena said, "Stay here, please," she said, voice firm.

The horse shifted, and titled it's head in a most curious manner, seeming to acquiesce. Ilyena smiled in exasperation, turning away to mount the stairs of the little house. Without warning, the door flew open, and a woman, hard looking, ageless, and yet still managing to project age, glided out. Her eyes were sharp, intimidating, and presumptuous. Ilyena despised her on sight.

"What are you doing with that horse on my lawn, girl?" the woman asked calmly.

"Stopping so that I may being myself in to contact with you, girl," Ilyena replied with equal calm, hiding her distaste skilfully. The face told the entire story, a criminal, only a criminal would have to bind using a binder. And there was no use talking to a criminal that could barely touch saidar at will.

"You're arrogant enough," the woman said, more to herself than to Ilyena. "What do you intend to do?" Inwardly, Ilyena snorted. This woman, able to channel or no, and she most certainly was one, and no young girl, was ignorant. She'd no right to speak to an Aes Sedai in such a manner.

"I will thank you to speak to treat me with respect, woman," Ilyena said curtly, imperiously, summoning every inch of Aes Sedai aura she could possibly project.

The woman narrowed her eyes, seeming taken aback for a moment, as though seeing Ilyena in a new light, and then said, "What cause have I to show you respect, girl? I was ordering queens when you were in swaddles, no doubt about that. Respect isn't the due of arrogant girls who haven't learned any lessons on how to speak to their elders. I'm Aes Sedai, girl."

Aes Sedai? Oh that was laughable. Ilyena knew what she was speaking to now. One of those idiot fools who found they could channel, and pretended to be Aes Sedai, lording it over the hapless fools around them who didn't know better, who would cower away from one who could channel when they abused it. Such things were rare in her own age, only once in her own life time, and twice in the millenia before. Anger bubbled up within Ilyena, and her face froze, a statue now carved of ice. Frozen flames of azure her eyes became as she took three steps forward, until she was but a foot from the woman.

"Whatever your name may be, you have slandered the name of the Hall. You know nothing of what it means to be Aes Sedai. You are a fool blundering in the dark, a fool flirting with doom. I suggest that you cease immediately, stop this nonsense, and perhaps you will have a chance of surviving the punishments of true Aes Sedai," her voice was hard as stone.

"I am Cadsuane, girl," the woman whispered, soft and deadly, as though it should mean something, "I am true Aes Sedai, as true as they come."

"You are an untrained, ignorant child who's manage some rudimentary control, and used the Power enough to reach some Slowing. That is all. You are no Aes Sedai. Perhaps had you gone to the Hall when you were younger, you may have been. Perhaps. You haven't much talent, and your face speak for your crime." she noted. The woman had been the strongest presence in the city, but hardly strong for that.

"What Hall, girl?" the woman demanded, then, "The White Tower's it dancing on tip toes around me more time that I can remember. Or do you mean the Hall of Servants? It's lie ruin only three thousands years, no wonder you've not heard about it. You've heard two many stories from the Age of Legends, I think, too many stories, caught up in gleeman's tales too many times. The Hall of Servants is gone, girl!"

Ilyena froze, breath quickening.The Hall of Servants. Gone. Replaced by something called the White Tower? What was that? Where was the Hall?

"Where is the Hall?" she asked aloud. "Where is the Hall? Fool, he didn't lie to me. He said you were all half-trained children now, and he was right. Three beings in the city, rough and ignorant control. You fools. You've desecrated the name of Aes Sedai."

The woman was talking again, arrogant, horribly confident. How dare they? How dare they call themselves Aes Sedai? She realized then that she had shrieked it aloud. Why was she doing this? It was the horror. The whole world was not her own, but the Hall should still be a constant. The Hall should still be there!

"Oh, Light," she whispered, walking over to Halec, ignoring the woman's imperious speaking, "Oh Light, why?"

Vernhar regarded the man before him with a frowning expression. "You are certain?" he inquired, voice deliberately bored.

"I am certain, Lord. She went to the Aes Sedai's housing. She stopped on the lawn, and the Aes Sedai came out. They shouted on each other, but I could not get close, lest I be noticed."

"Did she leave?"

"Eventually. She led her horse away. Neither of them appeared pleased. She or the Aes Sedai, that is."

"Do you know why she was there?" Vernhar asked, his tone deliberatly bored.

"No, Lord. I couldn't get close enough."The man shift his legs nevously.

"Indeed. Approach her. Attempt to gain her confidence. I am curious about this girl," the nobleman mused.

"Approach her?!" the other man gasped, shocked. Never before had his employer requested such a thing.

"Yes. Have you troubles with that?" Rising an eyebrow, he added, "Or with your hearing?"

"She associates with Aes Sedai! For all we know, she could be Aes Sedai!"

"Nonsense. From all descriptions, she's too young. And if she's been arguing with Aes Sedai, she is not on good terms with them. Now go."

"Yes, Lord," the other man spat through gritted teeth.

Ilyena had wandered the city in a daze after she departed from Cadsuane's abode. The woman had been most displeased with her departure, attempting to hold her with flows of Air. They had been pitifully easy to block. At the end, she came close to lose her temper more than once with the woman who claimed to have a title she didn't deserved.

She rode in the street for a little while and finally, she had decided to approach an inn, offering to clear it of rats for a night's rest and a stall for Halec. Considering the primitive state of the world, she had suspected that most places would have a rat problem. She had been right. The innkeeper was most distrusting, eyeing her with outright hate, but he had accepted. Mutters of 'Damn Aes Sedai' had followed her as she took to her room for the night.

Apparently, Ilyena thought to herself as she stared up at the ceiling from her bed, what passed for Aes Sedai now were not well liked by the world. What had happened to bring the world to this state? Briefly, she considered the idea that perhaps the Dark One had won the War, but were that so, the world would be destroyed or overrun by the Shadow's ravages. Even the state of things currently were far better than they would be should that happen. She was ready to scream in frustration. What had happened!?

It was too early to sleep, she noted, and stood from where she flung herself, fully dressed, upon the scratchy blanket. She left her room, and walked downstairs into the common room. There were men and women both, talking, drinking, eating, complaining. She started over to the bar for a glass of water, and then remembered that she had no coin. Frustrated, she stopped, turning about to eye the room once more. Another problem, was the weary thought that rang through her mind. She should have included food and drink into the bargain, but shelter for the night had been upon her mind.

A strand of conversation caught her ear. "I hear the Lord Dragon's not been seen in months," a man said to a friend over a tankard of ale.

"Good riddance to him," his companion muttered.

"No! I don't like him any more than any one else, but if the Last Battle's going to be won, we've no choice but have him. I mean, at first everyone thought he was just another bloody False one, but he's fulfilled too many of the damn bloody prophecies to doubt that he's the bloody Kinslayer come again."

"He's going to Break the World again," the other man muttered, "What's better about that than having the Dark One rule us?"

The other man shrugged and said, "I don't know, but maybe it will be."

"Maybes isn't good enough. I think the Aes Sedai should gentle him, Dragon or no. No man should be able to to touch the Source. Not since Lews Therin." Ilyena rose an eyebrow in surprise, hearing her husband's name. Why would they think that... she could think about it later. Now she listened.

"Well, they didn't, and I think he's grown too powerful to stop. We'll just have to ride out the storm." The two men proceeded to look extremely dejected. Ilyena gaped in shock and swiftly walked over to them.

"You are speaking of Lews Therin?" she demanded of them in excitement. The two men glared up, looks turning considering when they saw her.

"What do you want to know about him, little girl?" the second man asked. He was slightly drunk, she saw now.

"Where is he?"That was the most importnat question.

"No one knows that. Lots of people want to know, but they don't," he chuckled.

"He is called Rand Al'Thor?" she asked.

"Where have you been the last two years, girl? I hear he's an Aiel, surrounded by damn bloody veiled Aiel, hair red as theirs and just as tall. He was here, rule's in all but the crown, of course, but like I say, he hasn't been seen for months. Everyone knows it, honey."

"I am not your honey," she said, suddenly cold. Surrounded by Aiel? No man should channel? Breaking the World? Kinslayer? That one was all too easy to figure out, but what of the others? What did they mean?

The man scowled, "You're the one who came over uninvited. If you're not honey," he said, leering suddenly, "I can show you some," he gestured pointedly.

Ilyena's lips curled into a disgusted sneer, "I think not," she said coldly, turning to leave the table. The man reached out then, hands groping. Ilyena readied a wall of Air for placement when another man suddenly appeared, imposing himself between her and the drunkard.

"The lady said no," the strange man said coldly.

The drunkard snorted and said, "She came over here to begin with."

"To talk," the other said, "Now she's finished." A staring match occurred between the two.

For a moment, Ilyena was sure that the drunk man was going to attack the other, but he eventually settled back in his seat and mutter, "Get away from me, then."He and his silent companion went back to moodily swilling ale.

The strange, intervening man turned to Ilyena then and said, "Hello, my Lady. What is your name?"

"Ilyena-" she started to say Therin, and suddenly realized that the man she had talked to had recognized Lews Therin's name, and so had that woman in the streets, and so had the guard at the gates. It added up. Another Age or no, Lews Therin was known. "Sunhair," she completed. How he felt about it? Even in another age he was known, hated.

"How fitting," the man said, smiling as though he had not noticed the pause. "My name is Der Cal."

"Greetings to you, then," she said, "And thank you for coming to my aid." It really had not been necessary, she thought, but the man had meant well enough.

"I'm surprised to see a noblewoman down in this section of the city," the man said curiously.

"I am not a noblewoman," Ilyena said, "I am Aes Sedai," she did not think to hide it. The state of the world or no, she was what she was, and that was all. If this man could not accept that, he could leave.

Surprise flashed across Der's features. "Aes Sedai? You seem far too young to be Aes Sedai," he noted.

"I have been born very long ago, boy, very long ago." she said, somewhat coldly, she was tired of those games, it wasn't that hard to see how old she was, but no one seemed to guess it.

"Really? I've always wondered what it would be like to live as long as an Aes Sedai. Of course, no man can know that," he said. "I suppose the old Age of Legends Aes Sedai did, but well, that's the whole matter with the Dragon of course, and why am I talking about this. Everyone knows it," he nodded to himself in contemplation. Ilyena stared at him in deep curiosity. Deciding to take a stab in the dark she said, "The man said that the Dragon was Aiel now?"

"Yes," the man snorted, "Imagine that, the Dragon being reborn as a bloody black veiled Aiel. I suppose it's fitting, really, what with all the murders they've commited." Aiel, killing? What a ludicrous notion. Still, the man seemed to take that as a matter of fact. Could even that have changed? Well, if the Hall was gone, why not the vows? She needed to find a Library. Usually, all the answers she needed could be found in a library.

"Where are the Libraries in this city?" she asked.

"Are you sure you're Aes Sedai?" the man inquired, giving her a look as she had asked what colour grass was.

"I am sure," her voice was once more cold.

"Well, there's the Palace Library, of course. Most can't access that, but I'm sure you could. Most are terrified of Aes Sedai, especially now. Just look out for the nobles. They're so deep into the Game of Houses they'll have a dozen hooks and plots into you by the time you take a single step into the Palace. I'm surprised they haven't contacted you, yet. You look like a noblewoman, and that's the truth, whether you are or not. Of course, the last time a man looking like a foreign noble turned up, it was the bloody Dragon Reborn. Turned the whole damn capital inside out with civil war, it did. Perhaps it injected a bit of wariness into them. Then again, this is Cairhien. After all." Ilyena eyed him incredulously, but realized what he was saying, nonetheless. Apparently, this city had a reputation for scheming, but nothing could equal what happened in the Hall of Servants, and worse, in the War of Power. Schemes didn't worried her.

"What is the Dragon Reborn doing?" she asked, curious.

"Well, I'm the type of man whom he share his secret with, but as far as I can see, he's taking over the world. I once heard that he said he's bring peace to the world to face the Dark One when the time came, even if he had to enforce it with an iron fist. Personally, I think it's the only way it'll ever come. The nations are always squabbling with each other," the man said, and then glanced about, "Would you like to take to a table, Ilyena Sedai?"

"Indeed, that would be nice," she said, leading the way to a vacant table nearby. Taking a seat, Der continued, "Anyway, like I said, I don't know much, but he's taken Tear, Andor, Cairhien, Illian, and Tarabon and Arad Doman are all but his. Sure, there's lots of other places, but he's taken all of those in less than two years. Two years! Unbelievable," the man shook his head.

"You seem rather shocked," Ilyena said.

"Well, of course. And interested. It's a popular topic these days. If not a healthy one around nobility. After all, it had taken Arthur Hawkwings ten years just reaching where the Dragon Reborn is now."

"I would imagine so," So, Lews Therin meant to direct an iron fist at Shaol Ghul? That sounded very like him. Did he learn nothing? Endeavours such as he was making now often fell right down upon their makers. What was he thinking? And the answer came to her then. Duty. He was thinking of duty, as he always had, as he always would, for as long as his soul existed. Suddenly, the woman felt very weary, very old. How old must Lews Therin feel? Der had stopped talking, she noticed. He was eyeing her strangely.

"Is there something wrong, Aes Sedai?" he asked solicitously.

"Nothing wrong, Der Cal. Nothing," she whispered, And everything, came the silent rejoinder. "Once more, I thank you for coming to my assistance, and for providing me with this information. I truly appreciate it. Now, I wish to sleep." She stood, and so did Der.

"You're welcome. I can show you to the Library, tomorrow, if you like?" She eyed him strangely. Aiding a woman in a sticky situation was one thing, but offering to show her around a city was quite another. What were the man intentions?

"I mean no offense, My Lady," the said, noticing her look, "It's just that, Aes Sedai or no, the way you ask questions, anyone can tell you're not from here, if you know what I mean."

"I do indeed," she said, lips curling up in a slight smile. "Very well, Der Cal. You will meet me here tomorrow at four hours after the sunrise."

"Deal!" the man exclaimed. He bowed before her then, and swept away, cloak fluttering behind him as he exited the inn.

Ilyena shook her head in amusement and irritation before turning to mount the stairs. Her bed, scratchy blanket and all, awaited.

It would do no good, shouting at Lews Therin, but Rand felt he was about to lose his temper any moment. Alanna's eyes had something to do with it. And Lews Therin taking control, the man wanted to kill Aviendha, planned to kill her, pictured her death. The thought itself tied Rand's stomach in knots of fear and desperation.

Maybe today would change it, maybe. Rand couldn't let himself abandon hope, when that might all he had left. Days of planning, hours of testing weaves with Nynaeve, Logain, Flinn, Narishma, and every last men or women in the Dragonmount that could channel, he couldn't fail now.

He already lost to Lews Therin in one battle, if the taint would continue to sip into him, how long would pass when he wouldn't care anymore? He could never hurt Elayne, Min or Aviendha, the bond took care of that, but the entire world would suffer if he was fated to go mad. No, Lews Therin was mistaken, and if he was right, there was no other choice. None at all.

Alanna moved closer to him, and stopped, looking at Elayne. He didn't knew the fair woman could wear such an expression of frozen dignity. According to Elayne, by tower law, what was done to him was equal to a rape, by tower's custom if not laws. And she made it clear that she wanted Alanna to stay away from him. He would have given much to hear the conversation that Elayne and Alanna had. All he knew was that Alanna looked like scowling child, and Elayne like she was about to burst. But neither one of the women was ready to tell him what they have talked about. Min couldn't look at Alanna without blushing. Rand hadn't consider that part in the nature of the bond. Impatient, he stood, waiting for the rest of the Asha'man to arrive, waiting to the beginning of what might be the end, of the wheel of time and the pattern itself.

Elayne was glad Rand couldn't see his own face, he didn't know that they looked like a stone wall. With cold blue gray eyes. He was... impassive. And only the bond told her he was impatient. She scowled at Alanna, but it seemed to have no affect on the Aes Sedai. It was Rand's stare that stopped the Green sister. Cold and hard and slightly angry. He looked like he would enjoy destroying something now. By what she could feel, he would enjoy it.

Aviendha clutched her skirts so hard her knuckles were white. And Elayne found herself arranging skirt already neat three or four dozens times the last few hours. Today was the day, if they would succeed... she couldn't believe it, they would be free, no more fear that Rand might go mad, no more memorizing of every heartbeat with him, because it might be the last.

If they fails... it was useless to think about it, not when they didn't have a choice. If they fail the world was doomed. I will break the world again before letting the Dark One have it. That was what Rand said, and she didn't doubt that he would do exactly so, use all the power they would draw in order to clean saidin and turn it against the world. If they would fail, there would be no world for the Dark One to rule. If they fail... But they wouldn't, the price was too heavey to fail.

Logain stared at the people gathered in the room, he noted glances sent to him from the Aes Sedai's direction. He couldn't decide what was in them. Fear? Hate? Curiosity? He was a man that could channel, a reason for fear by itself, but they were here today to change that. He had proclaimed himself the Dragon Reborn, but that was dealt with already. He was captured and gentled. Even now, the thought itself sent him to saidin, even the curraption was comforting for a man that had been away from saidin for more than two years. His debt to Nynaeve will never be fully repaid.

He grinned at the Aes Sedai, and chuckled silently to their reaction. He kept Halima on his side, it wasn't that he didn't trust her, the bond forced trust, on her as well as on him. It was al'Thor he didn't trust. Reports, eyes and ears, spies. That was the task given to his warders, Logain knew nothing about that matter, he only hope al'Thor's demand wasn't an open invitation to disaster. But even the worried to Halima, to Leane, and to Toviene couldn't make his mind focus on them for more than few moments. Today was the day, he dreamed about this day from the very first moment he had realize he was touching saidin. It didn't mattered to him whatever they would fail or succeed, whatever the result of the day will be, he will not feel the taint anymore.

The bond would have banned any action that would have risked Leane, Halima and Toveine. Unless he had their approval to this. It was the same as harming them. It wasn't he who decide what may harm them, the bond, in a way no one puzzled so far, banned any action that the warder thought harmful to themselves. An Asha'man's judgement may be clouded due to the taint. And the main purpose of the bond was to stop that.

One could go mad simply trying to understand all the affects the bond had.

Today was the day, and whatever the course that the wheal will weave into the pattern. It will be a day forever remembered in history.

Or the day history will end in.

She could never care less what Narishma thought about her, so Mierin assured herself. But the facts were that she did, very much. He was right, she had to admit, although nothing would convince her to say it aloud. He still had to pay for blackmailing her to tell him her darkest fears. White didn't go well with her new body, in black, however, she was far more attractive. She refused to give up the silver jewelry she was so fond of. Luckily, Narishma made no notes about them. Save the bond there was nothing between her and Narishma. And he could claim that they were married for as long as he want, she would believe him the day the Semirhage would cry for all the hurts she had caused. In other words, never!

Unless she will be bonded. Mierin thought, only half amused. Bonding was simply another cour'souvra. And, at least for herself, the term fit literaly. Lews Therin had to use the bond to gain her soul back, but it wasn't hers. She would have to study it further. But, if half what she heard was true. Her soul, at least the greater part of it, were in Narishma's possesion. And his was hers.

She smiled as she walked the corridors of the Dragonmount, side by side with Narishma. His face were fixed in a mix of grim determination and expectation. Fear and hope battled inside him. For the very first time in her life, in this age and the one before, she could trust a man never to leave her. What did it mattered that the chain that tied him to her tied her too. And she doubt if she was the one whom the ties held more strongly.

Narishma explained the best he could what they were about to do today, and Mierin could hardly look forward to this. Confronting the Dark One not even a week after she forsook him. The plan was risky, but most of Lews Therin's scheming were, and they had a tendecy to work more often than not. It was a gamble, but not one they had any choice in. She wouldn't have Narishma going mad. But still... if Lews Therin had a weekness, it was his pride.

"Lews Therin were always too proud of himself," Mierin said absently, half to herself, as they approched a large black door.

"He does have a tendacy to be overproud," Narishma ageed, "still, it's to be expected from the Dragon Reborn."

She sniffed at him, "Rand al'Thor's pride is nothing compared to Lews Theirn's, he had learned. Yet I fear he hadn't learned enough." Narishma considered the options several times before, When you gamble with the Dark One, he thought, there is no meaning to loosing, nothing will remain if we fail.

It left him wonderring, there were true worry in her voice, and he could make his mind whom she was worried about. She was also quite pleased with herself, and that troubled him too. Saidin, the thought itself pushed worried and troubles aside, despite the taint, despite the power trying to destroy you were you stood, when you were filled with the One Power, you knew that life without it would be as empty as a world without color, or taste, or smell. With saidin, he could smell the corridor they were walking in, it smelled empty. He could smell Mierin, and liked the smell too much to think about it. At least he could control his eyes, and they were focused on the door they faced. If he would look at her... Black dress woven with silver, blue eyes and silvery cascade. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He opened the door, and he could feel every eye that stared at him, and at Mierin. There was a saying in Arafel, dancing is sweater on the edge of the sword. He thought he understood its meaning, but it wasn't until he first touched saidin that the saying's true meaning really touched him. Now, he didn't doubt that he would have to dance on the razor edge every day of his life, with saidin. With his wife, he didn't doubt he would enjoy it. He wasn't aware of squaring his shoulders, he put one hand on Mierin's shoulder, the very first time he touched his wife when she was awake. It was something he noted before, something he was eager to feel again. When he could feel his hand on her shoulder in two ways, as he always felt his hand, and through the bond. It wasn't unpleasant feeling. He met every man's eyes in the room, al'Thor's included. The way he stood, the way he stared at them, it all declared, she is mine.

Narishma was the only one not aware of his own actions, the others, including Mierin, knew very well what he was doing.

The sun was streaming through the window, vaguely registering upon the edges of the Aes Sedai's consciousness. Groggily, she opened her eyes, turning to stare at the window. The position of the sun shocked her. It had to be a but a half hour before Der Cal was to meet her! Scrambling out of bed, Ilyena dusted off her clothing, which she had fallen into bed with. Moving towards the chest of clothes that she had been provided with, she unlatching the buckles that were attached to the wood. Flipping back the lid, she regarded the contents. In the far corner was a bag of powers and creams that she assumed were some form of primitive cosmetics. Under that were assorted, strange undergarments. And then there was various dresses and so forth, neatly folded. She wondered who had gathered them to begin with. Somehow, she just didn't think that Moridin was the type to go shopping for female apparel. Stripping the yellow riding clothes off, Ilyena turned to the wash basin on the far counter. It had been filled the night previous, but the water was still fresh enough. Taking up the soft cloth next to the bowl, the Aes Sedai washed herself, using the water in a careful yet generous manner. Five minutes later, she used the second cloth to wipe the excess water from herself. In truth, she had been extremely disappointed when she had learned there were no automatic washing facilities such as she knew, but in such cases, you made due with what you had. Moving back to the trunk, she took up the undergarments, trying to make foot or tail of them, but they were so very archaic and complicated.

Who would have believed that such garments could have included so many strings! Frustrated, Ilyena clenched her teeth, feverently wishing that there was a Talent thatallowed for understanding of foreign clothing! Trying to remember how the garments had been on before she'd taken the old ones off, Ilyena twisted the new ones here and there, before finally simply stuffing herself in them. Irritably, she tugged the strings tight, scowling as she felt pulls and twists that had most certainly not been there in the last set. Looking down at the trunk of clothes, she quickly picked a tastefully shaded red riding suit. Thankfully, that went on easier. The silver jewelry went back on then. Rooting through the cosmetics bag, Ilyena made to search for anything she knew. They certainly looked nothing like anything she'd ever used before. Natural dyes and plant substances .... There was something that looked like an under eye lining substance, but in a freeform, rather than a joined, soft stick. There was a application swab of sorts with it, which she quickly picked up. And of course, after this, there would be her long, inconvenient hair to pile up.

Sighing, Ilyena shifted, pushing one of the strings of her undergarments irritably back, trying to grasp it through her tunic. Some days, the Aes Sedai thought, it just didn't do to get out of bed.

Forty minutes later, she was hardly in a better mood. The make-up had went on fine, and her hair looked presentable, but Der had arrived and was impatiently waiting in the common room, down the stairs. He had called up twice already, and Ilyena was becoming annoyed. She wanted to arrive at the Library far more than he did, but she must be ready first. Finally, though, she was. Walking down the stairs, lips compressed tight, blue eyes narrowed in irritability, red suit brilliantly highlighting the flush in her cheeks, she presented a furious picture to Der Cal, who waited below. His eyebrows shot up, and he tentatively asked, "Sleep well?"

"Quite fine," she said. That, at least, was the truth. She had slept well. It was after she awoke that the problems had began. Clearly, though, from the man's sceptical look, he didn't believe her. She did not make an effort to convince him, however. It would take far more patience and effort that she was currently willing to expend. "You are taking me to the Library," she commanded as she reached his side.

The man looked at her and said, "That was the idea." Her look, completely intolerant of any attempt at humour, would have been enough to stagger most men. This man was not an exception. "I suppose you really are an Aes Sedai," he muttered as they moved out of the inn. Infuriating. He hadn't thought she was before!

"I am sorry, Aes Sedai, I truly am, it's just that you didn't show your Great Serpent ring, and I thought that you might be an impersonator. Not that many would ever dare, Aes Sedai, but these are troubled times," the servant said, grovelling for all she was worth. Her male companion, hurrying in a stiff butler's uniform alongside the woman, was outwardly calm at first glance, but looking into his eyes, the man was clearly terrified.

When Ilyena had first arrived with her so very helpful guide, she had flat out been denied admittance to the Palace. Apparently, the doormen wished to see the presence of a "Great Serpent ring," apparently a symbol of 'Aes Sedai' in these times. Ilyena had almost sneered. In her day, an Aes Sedai hadn't needed such things to identify. In the midst of an argument, the two servants had arrived. Ilyena, fed up with the entire matter, had tied up the men guarding the main Palace entrance with flows of Air.

She had then walked inside, the two servants upon her heels, apologizing profusely for the misunderstanding. For the most part, Ilyena had ignored them, save to ask the location of the Palace Library. Der, walking at Ilyena's other side, had not, apparently, ever come farther than the entrance, and thus was unaware of how to reach the Library.

"We are here, Aes Sedai," the male servant gestured toward the wide, open, elaborately carved doors, which lead into a room lined floor to ceiling with books. The announcement, therefor, seemed necessary. But the man did seem rather formal. Certainly better trained than the maid was.

"Leave me now," the Aes Sedai said, "Should you alert the guards, they will be dealt with as easily as the others. I suggest you do not," her eyes pierced into them, blue lightening.

"Of course not, Aes Sedai," the two spoke as one before turning and hurrying away.

"They won't tattle unless they think they can get away with it, with someone able to protect them from an Aes Sedai," Der said quietly.

"I am aware of that," Ilyena answered, eyes roaming. There it was. Walking swiftly, she reached the cataloguing box. Twenty steps and she reached it, fingers eagerly searching through the cards. Thankfully, the technique that she used to understand the language spoken here, could be tied off and forgotten completely, as she did now, worked just as well on the read word as the spoken. It didn't work for writing yourself, though. That seemed to require an intergrade understanding of the language itself. But she was not intent upon writing anything, so it did not matter at the moment. What did she have to research? Searching her memory, Ilyena listed the topics. Breaking of the World, Aiel, Dragon Prophecies, the White Tower, men channeling, the Dark One. Anything else? She frowned to herself. Well, that would have to do for now. Quickly, she took up the location cards, and moved to find the books.

Der followed her, eventually speaking, "I'm going over the sitting section," he pointed a floor section of the room lined with rich decor, thick carpeting, and smooth furniture.

"Go on," she said absently, picking out a book. The man snorted irritably, muttering something about women under his breath. Ilyena found herself smiling, men never seemed to change, moving to the next topic. Under 'Dragon' she found old, musty tomes and painstakingly copied newer books. There seemed to be quite a few open gaps on the shelf, however. Apparently, the Dragon was a popular research, as well as gossip, topic in these troubled times She picked out several. And one more, Ilyena noted, moving on to another shelf. The White Tower.

There were few indeed detailing that topic, and no gaps in the book row. Apparently, that was not a popular topic.

Finally, however, she settled in at a long table with an armload of books. It would take a while, she contemplated, but she needed answers. Ilyena Therin opened up a book sporting the title in modern language: The Prophecies of the Dragon, and began to read.

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 8 March 1999]

[This was written with the aid of Lanfir]

Elayne walked her room in the Lion Palace up and down repeatedly, kicking everything that happened to stand in her way, rage burning inside of her. She was too angry to realize that she was behaving like a girl the age of six. A girl that her favorite toy had just been taken away. "Why didn't you support me, Min, or you, Aviendha?" she snapped through the thick silence that hung in the room. "It was you Lanfear tried to kill!"

She just had an awful row with Rand. He was determined to push through what he was doing; she had been determined to stop it. She still was. It had been a sheer fight between his willpower and hers; and had taken very long before she finally accepted she had lost. Elayne thought that nothing would have stopped him. He seemed possessed by it. Light burn his soul, she thought, first taking Lanfear, - Lanfear! - As a warder, and if this is not enough, he means to go to Shayol Ghul, to the Pit of Doom, in an useless effort to save a dead woman. She didn't know what made her more angry. He was about to risk his life where it wasn't absolutely necessary, and going to a place where death expected him, and especially him, to save another woman he loved.

"Why would I have supported you, Elayne, if I knew it would not be of any use?" Min sat in a large chair, curled up with her arms around her knees. "It was useless to oppose him, the way he is now; he will refuse to admit you're right even if you say the skies are blue."

Aviendha looked worried. She sat cross-legged on the brightly colored tapestry as she was used to do. In all this time she spent in the wetlands she still was not used to sitting in chairs. She frowned a bit and leaned against the wall with her back. "And I do not really blame Lanfear for her attempt to kill me, she was just jealous. I have seen it happen before; women killed each other for a man. The only thing I blame her for is that she tried to kill Rand al'Thor."

"And Rand bonded her! A Forsaken!" Elayne agreed passionately. "He really must be out of his mind!"

"She seems to obey him. At least, she did not try to kill us when he introduced her to us." Aviendha smiled a bit at the memory, Elayne found nothing amusing in the memory. The woman... she could like her, and that bothered her more than everything else did.

Elayne kicked against a red pillow that lied on the floor, where it had fallen from Min's chair. "I bet she'd love to strangle you, or any of us, and that she would do it as soon as Rand would let her have let her half a chance. I just do not understand him!"

"Rand uses her as a tool," Min said quietly, studying the tapestry on the floor with an absent look in her eyes. "He uses her to achieve his goal."

"Using a Forsaken as a tool? And Light, using a Forsaken as a tool in Shayol Ghul?!" Elayne caught herself stamping her feet on the floor like a spoiled little girl. She hated the way she was bursting out, but she simply could not stop her raging. She felt so many feelings at the same moment that it dazzled her: anger, fear, jealousy, everything at once and all mix up so she couldn't truly tell which feeling was the strongest. When a woman acts foolish, look for the man Lini said, more than once. Burn you, Rand al'Thor, for making me feel like this! Burn you to the Pit of Doom! The curse had another meaning entirely now, Rand was about to go the Pit of Doom, and most chances are that he was going to die. And he knew it, he was hardly himself.

"Did you saw anything, Min?" Aviendha asked calmly, letting Elayne rage on. She did not seem angry at all, maybe a bit troubled. Elayne wished that she could take such a hold of her emotions, too. But when things involved Rand, she just could not hold her temper. She wondered how he did it. Maybe she should ask him about it, if he would stay alive, and if she would manage not to strangle Rand, Lanfear, and this Ilyena, all the three of them, and that is only for a start.

Min closed her eyes for a moment, opened them again and took a deep breath. "I see too little. A woman I think must be Ilyena Sunhair. And the darkness around Rand is thicker than ever. Somehow, she is connected to the darkness. But she is not evil, not fully at least. And the butterflies are also stronger, there are more of them, but not enough." Min's laugh was full of bitterness, very different from her usual laugh. "Somehow, Ilyena is the one to change the balance."

"Will he survive?" Elayne said breathlessly, nothing else matter, Rand had to live. For the world, for herself, and her two dearest friends.

Min stood up abruptly and walked over to the window. "I don't know," she said with her back turned to the others. "Light, I don't know. He plans to go to Shayol Ghul; bonded to a woman that turned to the Dark because she couldn't have him in her hands! And I do not see if he will survive. What bloody use has this gift of me then? What use I've of only half on the truth, and an obscure half if that!" Min turned back, and Elayne noticed the woman was crying. "What if he dies?" She looked at Aviendha and Elayne, tears streaming down her face. "What then?"

Neither Elayne nor Aviendha had the courage to answer her. Elayne felt her anger dissolve within a few heartbeats and felt only worries and fears. What if he dies? A painful silence fell in the room.

"This must be hard for you to do, Lews Therin," Mierin said. They were still in his rooms, thought inside the Dragonmount, not back in Illian, it had been six hours since he had bonded her, since he kissed her. The second event was by far more important then the first, in her own eyes. But now they were ready to leave. They were both exhausted, and Mierin had to appreciate Lews Therin's patience. Determined to go as he was, she expected him to demand that they would be on their way to Shayol Ghul already.

He replied curtly, biting his words off. "It has to be done. Both of them." His face was harder than ever, and Mierin felt through the bond that all his feelings were an unrecognizable knot of anger, fear, sadness, expectation and determination. He had to goal to wish for, the cleansing of saidin, due to the day after tomorrow, and saving his long dead wife from the claws of the shadows.

Duty was the strongest part in Lews Therin, always, and, maybe for the first time, he had to face two duties, both of them important to him equally, and conflicting each other entirely.

She let her mind feel the knot of emotion in the back of her head. It was strange to feel what he felt, to feel something that was happening outside for her, but she got used to it quickly. She liked it to be sure about his feelings. The bond was by far stronger than it should be, Lews Therin told her, and at the same time, by far weaker than the bond to. By what she figured out so far, she was bending to his will, much more easily she was used to be, and she adored him in a slightly other way than she used to do. More than that, she was willing to serve him. She felt he was weary, too. Elayne and Min and Aviendha had argued with him for three hours. Mierin had not been present while she was left to wait in another room, but the feelings that had come through the bond had been clear enough, and the shouts, a female voice. The same one, the woman had to learn that as reasonable your argument was; no one listened when you shouted it. Anger, love, and most of all determination. And all three of the feelings becoming stronger and stronger while time passed. The woman that shouted, Elayne, so she heard Lews Therin name her, the only time he rise his voice.

Rahvin had complained about the difficulty controlling Elayne's mother, and Rahvin was very good in Compulsion. The door open, young man; clad in black, with a silver sword on his high collar. "I need to talk with you, My Lord Dragon." He said. He had dark hair, arrange in two braids, and pale huge eyes. The sword on his hip looked right there, as if it belonged there. There was pride and confidence in the way he held himself. "In private," the man added.

"What do you want, Dedicated?" Lews Therin asked with a voice colder than ice. That was the last thing she heard, but as the Dedicated continued talking, Lews Therin's face became colder, his emotions stronger, anger, fury, and desperation.

By what she saw, Lews Therin cut the Dedicated off with a sharp motion, a horrified expression spread on the black clad man. But he sent his hand to meet Lews Therin and- .

Ecstasy! Strong enough to pass the barrier of pain, pain so strong it became nothing ecstasy. Her mind seemed to vanish, clouded in ecstasy. Becoming mist by pain.

What was her simply gone, changed and reshaped, distantly she was aware of a ripping inside her, and Lews Therin was no more in her mind. Instead, the small knot of emotions reflected the Dedicated's. That was the last coherent thought she had, before everything gone in mix of pleasure and pain.

Aviendha couldn't have it anymore it, she truly couldn't. Urging might be useless, but she needed to talk to the fool man she was in love with.

Her anger was overwhelming, carefully controlled, maybe, but overwhelming nevertheless. She will not have Lanfear as a sister wife. Yet Rand al'Thor's emotions made her own seem unimportant. Murderous fury, so strong it masked everything else in Rand. She could barely even feel the wounds in his side. Even stranger, there was a hint of desperation in Rand. The man was never desperate. Never!

The huge tunnels inside the Dragonmount were carved using saidin, they reminded her of her home. It was almost like she was back in the waste again. In the Bitter Water Sept again.

What under the Light she was doing? It was no time to think about home! She passed a corner in a dead run; the rooms she, Min, Elayne and Rand shared were straight ahead of her. Saidar opened the doors for her when she was couple of feet from them, and she rushed into the huge hall, her own fault, Rand had a tendency to understand her literally. She shouldn't have called those caves inside the Dragonmount "tiny rat-holes". Rand always had a way to dig the worst of her, how could he love her, when she was the worst when he was near, that was beyond her.

Her eyes focused on Rand, the car'a'carn, the man she loved with all her heart. The man who loved her, although she had no idea how he could. She knew herself; she wasn't a person one could easily love.

He stood near to an Asha'man, a young man all in black, with his head in two longs braids, Narishma, that was his name. But she gave him nothing more than a quick glance; it was Rand she cared about. He wore blue coat, made of silk and worked with gold and silver. And his dark breech fit him perfectly; it wasn't fair that the man could affect her so. Now, however, his face was twisted in what seemed almost like pain. Yet she felt none from him. A silent growl made his face a twisted mask. He stare directly at Narishma, their hands almost touching one another, both men sweat heavily, the very first time Aviendha saw one of the Asha'man sweat. From where she stood, she barely noticed Narishma's face; they had the same expression Rand has. There was no sign for Rand's anger, or no reason for. The reason for her own anger, however, was clearly visible; a short, silver hair woman stood about ten feet apart from the two men. Staring at them, trembling slightly. Her eyes... Aviendha gave her another look, suppressing the urge to leash out with saidar. The woman's eyes, Lanfear's eyes, were glazed, and she stared at the men with unseeing eyes. That alone was enough to set another bubble of fury inside her. The woman had no right to look at Rand al'Thor, the car'a'carn was hers.

"Rand al'Thor." She was stunned by her voice, could that vile hiss belonged to her? The man didn't even seemed to hear her. Mouth tightening, Aviendha sat on the floor, she would tell him exactly what she was thinking about him as soon as he finished... whatever it was he was doing with this Narishma. Obviously he wouldn't notice anything for the time being.

She glanced at the silver hair woman and tried to hide a shiver, the woman tried to kill her once, and without Rand, she would have died. Yet Rand accepted the woman as his warder. You're only upset about it because he had to kiss her, aren't you? A small voice asked from the back of her head. Or do you fear the bond will make him fall in love with her? Her mouth tightened even more, if this was possible, she would not share Rand with a woman who tried to kill her.

Whatever Rand was doing, it had to have something with Lanfear; the woman hadn't moved a muscle since Aviendha entered the room. And her eyes... Aviendha couldn't decide what filled the woman's eyes, pain or pleasure or both. She doubted if the woman could see something at all.

"Done!" Narishma whisper harshly abruptly, giving her a start, "Done perfectly. As much as such thing can be perfect." He took one step backward, stepping away from Rand. He nearly fell over his own feet. Rand looked even worse. But he stood erect, not falling to his knees by mere willpower.

"Take her away, Narishma." Rand said, refusing to show weakness even when he was about to fall flat on his face. The fool man! She rose to support him, ignoring his glare. The man has too much pride! He seemed to realize he couldn't make her leave him, for as long as the two of them lived, and looked at Narishma again, "Take her away, and stay out of my sight. I'm not particularly fond of the two of you right now."

Narishma nodded tiredly, then turned to Lanfear, the woman still stared forward blindly. Groaning hard and muttering muted curses Narishma lifted Lanfear up, and stumbled toward the door, seemingly drained of any energy. Before the doors close behind him, he turned his head to look at Rand, "Remember duty, My Lord Dragon, you can not let yourself die." With this, the door bent and turned, closing with a hand touching them.

Aviendha opened herself to saidar; letting warm and life filled her as she wove Air. A chair carved from dark wood rose and floated in the air to her. Rand couldn't stand for much longer. And the chair was softer than the black stone floor. Rand sat limp in the chair, sweat covering his face, his eyes were close, and he breath hard. "Duty is heavier than a mountain, death is lighter than a feather." He murmured, and laughed bitterly, "I never believed this as much as I believe this today." Suppressing curiosity, she trotted to a table where two or three dozens of wine jars were placed. She searched quickly for the strongest drink that she could find. Rand certainly needed something to drink. The third jar she open was what she searched for, the smell alone brought tears to her eyes. She took the nearest cup and poured the drink, it was certainly not wine; it was probably stronger than osqui! By the look on Rand's face, he might have fall asleep where he sat, She brought the cup to his lips, forcing herself to be gentle; she wanted to hit him with something.

He coughed for a while upon swallowing the content of the cup. "What under the Light are you trying to do, woman? Poison me?" He demanded when he caught his breath.

Aviendha smiled, not bothering to hide her amusement, Rand was still full with all that anger, but he showed none of it. The Light alone know how stubborn the man could be, but he couldn't hide so much anger, not from her. "What happened, Rand al'Thor?" She asked him, "I feel... anger, but you show none of it. I don't know why, but... you're strange, it's as if you're not you."

Rand tilted his head, "How... fascinating. You feel the strongest emotions, no matter if I or Lews Therin feel them." He murmured, "Don't you think so, Lews Therin?" He listened to something for a moment, "I didn't think you would." He said, "Lews Therin is not... happy with my decision." A wry smile spread on his face, "Narishma had to remind me of duty, Aviendha." He shock his head in what look like desperation, his hands were close to fists, his knuckles white. She heard him grinding his teeth in sheer frustration. "I shouldn't have been reminded." He jumped to his feet, nearly tripping on his own feet. "I'm too important to the fate of the world, burn my soul. Too important to risk myself." He took a deep breath. His eyes were a blizzard storm, "When I've to choose between the world and what I care more than the world, the world come first. Now you understand why I don't want you near me? Now you understand why I made sure the bond will let me force my will on you?"

Aviendha shook her head, she had to be gentle here, the Dragon was wounded, an old wound, but, just as the wounds in his side, they never healed. And now they reopened. And they had to be taken care of carefully. A woman has to make sacrifices when she's in love. She thought amused; she stood two feet from Rand. All she had to do was to close the distance between them and embrace him. He went rigid instantly. "Don't be a fool, Rand al'Thor," She told him, lying her head on his chest, "You can't do everything by yourself. And you don't have to pretend with me." She heard him sighing, and his arms went around her. Squeezing the breath out of her.

"I'm afraid, Aviendha." He breathed, "I'm so afraid. I've chosen the world over Ilyena. Chosen to follow duty instead of my heart." He trembled, and it wasn't mere tiredness that shocked his body. He put a hand under her chin, pulling her eyes to him. "It might reach to the point when it will you on the balance, or Elayne or Min." He squeezed his eyes shut. His hands closed around her shoulders hard. "I wouldn't do it, do you understand me, Aviendha? Do you? Abandoning Ilyena is bad enough." His laugh carried the echoes of ever closing madness. I will not sacrifice you for the world, Aviendha of the Bitter Water Sept of the Taraad Aiel. I will not!"

Aviendha stared at the man she love, "Yes you would, Rand. You see, I think that I know you better than you know yourself, and you will choose right. I know you will." She put all the seriousness she could into her tone, and with this, she stood on tiptoes to kiss him.

Some time later, she lied her head on Rand's chest again, breathing hard. He was supporting her now.

"Mierin is Narishma's now, Aviendha." Rand said quietly, "I'm not going to Shayol Ghul, not any time soon, at least." Disappointedly, he moved away, and muttered something too low for her to hear. "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do." He said, "The bond is not meant to be broken. And Ilyena..." He sat down on the chair tiredly, "I have to fight myself, to bring myself to the point were almost no coherence left to do so." His laugh held no mirth; "Narishma was a great help. Although I doubt if he gained what he hoped for." He closed his eyes for a moment, struggle visible on his face. The only emotion sensed in the back of her head was the endless fury, raging, boiling. It hadn't lessened for the slightest bit, not even when she kissed him.

It was insulting, in a way. Although it wasn't Rand's anger. "Rand..." She couldn't chase the worry note from her voice. His face... Suddenly Rand stood; throwing his head back, he laughed.

"Interesting," It was Rand's mouth that moved, but the accent was wrong. "You can stop fighting, boy." The man said quietly, "I have the body, for a little while yet. And I will not harm her either." She knew the man, although she saw him only once. She didn't forget the time when she had seen herself die.

"Aviendha," Lews Therin greeted her, what she sensed from him was still that murderous fury, but desperation were gone. "You don't have a reason to be afraid, your love is perfectly safe." A small smile touched the man's lips; it wasn't her Rand. "For the time being, at least. Maybe it would teach him how I feel." He rose Rand's hand, closing and opening Rand's fist. Not his.

"What have you done to Rand?" She demanded, saidar filled her, but she had no idea what to do. Anything she will do will harm Rand too. "What have you done, burn you?"

"I simply... pushed him away. He had to choose between losing control over the body or losing control over saidin. He's quite upset now. But nothing has happened to him." He paused to take a deep breath, " It had been long since I truly had a body."

Aviendha gritted her teeth, "What are you going to do? Go to Shayol Ghul and save the wife you've murdered, Kinslayer." He was so like Rand that she wanted to rush to him and hug him even as her words made him step back with pained expression.

"No!" The silent command muted her, "I'm no fool, no matter what you or the man who took my place may think." It was Rand's left hand that began to tremble. "But it hurts, Light of Heaven, it hurts so much. Even when I all but sure that she can't be my Ilyena. Whatever I do, I do fully, mad or not, when I've kill Ilyena, I've destroyed her completely. Ripped her soul from her body." There were cold tears in the voice now. "I very much doubt if even the Dark One could have the resources needed to restore Ilyena." Pain, there was so much pain in him that she wanted to flinch away, she wanted to pull him into her arms and soothe all his pains and worries.

He began to walk, a sense of wonder came from him, and the fury was muted, slightly. "Shayol Ghul is death for me, 'Red on black, the Dragon's blood on Shayol Ghul's rocks.' I doubt if you will ever understand the true meaning of duty for me, Aviendha of the Renegade Aiels." She took a step back, his words were like knifes, cutting into her. Tiredness only began to fade in him, but he suddenly was there, so close to her that she could touch him. Not that she wanted to. Not as long as it wasn't Rand who controlled his own body. "You mistake my meaning, woman." he said, "If your ancestors would have kept their vows, the oaths they had forgotten, they wouldn't have survived. And one way or another, surviving is what mattered."

"What do you want from me? From Rand?" She asked breathlessly, she tried to remember every thing she had ever been told about Lews Therin, by Rand and others, everything she had learned about saidar. Searching for a way to help Rand.

"What I want?" He looked at her curiosity; strangely, her question brought pain to him. "I want to die," The words were delivered in cold tone, she heard the truth in it. "I've died before, this was my grave," his motion included the entire Dragonmount, a mountain that stretched up to the skies, seemingly endlessly. "It seemed that simply dying is not enough. I want to die, forever, never to be awakened again. I've done my duty, did more than any could ask me." He grimaced, for a moment, it seemed that he was fighting something, Aviendha prayed it was Rand, prayed he would know what to do, and strengthen her hold on saidar, until life became almost too much, when ecstasy reached the point of pain. "But it wasn't enough, wasn't it?" Rage became strong, and the depuration appeared again. "It's never enough, how many times I've been Borneo to fight the Lord of Grave?" He eyes burned, his words came out as shouts. He frighten her, she was terrified, the only times when she felt so much fear were when she thought Rand might be dying.

"How many times the Lord of the Morning met the Great Lord of Darkness in the Pit of Doom? How many? And when it will end." His voice became a murmur, "I can't remember, isn't it funny? That I can't remember the lives I've lived? If only I could remember... if only. Oh, Light, my Ilyena." Tears streamed down pained face. Aviendha had to remind herself that it wasn't Rand. The urge to comfort him somehow was compelling. "I've killed my Ilyena. The Light burn my soul, I've killed my Ilyena." He shock his head violently, she could hear the echoes of madness in his voice. "No, there can be no peace, there can be no mercy. Only death! Death! I want to die, I have died. I deserve to die, but I can't, can I?" He stared at her, tears staining his face, as if he expected an answer. For some reason, she had no idea why; Aviendha began to pity him. She began to walk to him when he turned away. "DIADRED!" There was so much hate in the screamed word the Aviendha flinched back. "Demandred must die, and the rest too. Ishmael is not dead, he can't die, I've killed him, but death is no bar. No bar, the grave, death, so he calls himself now, we always come back, Ishmael and I. I faced him too, in the gates of Paran Desen, else where, I killed him more times I can count. Why can't he die? Why can't I die? I deserve death; I want to die, to forget. Forget Ilyena, my Ilyena. Ilyena Sunhair, my sweet Ilyena. I should have sent you away, why didn't you left? You would have lived. You would have survived. You loved me; do you love me still? No! Love is death, love is pain!" The words came out in a rush; blue gray eyes were staring beyond her, at something else, something horrible. Lews Therin was barely coherent; he sank to the floor hugging himself, crying. Inside, Aviendha wanted to flee, to put enough distance between her and the man so she wouldn't have to feel Lews Theirn's emotions. "They died, all of them. Everyone I've loved. They name me Kinslayer, they hate me. I'M THE LORD OF THE MORNING! You can't hate me! You mustn't! They are not dead, Ilyena is not dead. She can't be. She mustn't be, I love her. She is only asleep, she will wake in a moment."

The pain was so strong it cut into her like knives, "Who killed her? WHO KILLED MY ILYENA? I will destroy you, Ishmael, you were there. But he didn't kill her. No, it was some one else. I would kill him, destroy him as utterly as I can. Ilyena, my heart, you can't die, you can't... not my Ilyena. NOOOOOOO! ILYENAAAAA! I will avenge Ilyena, I will..."

Aviendha felt moisture on her cheeks, she was crying, crying for the man's madness. Crying for his lost. Had Rand gone mad too? Will he be like Lews Therin? The last resistance she had for Rand's plan for saidin vanished. She will burn the world before letting this happen to him!

"Ilyena," Lews Therin whispered hopelessly, rising to his feet unsteadily. He was still crying, "Who are you? Who are you? No! Go away! Go away! I must go to her, Ilyena. Oh, Light, I've murdered my Ilyena." His eyes went wide, he didn't directed the words to her. But she danced back from him anyway, just in time to avoid being buried beneath him as he collapsed to the ground.

Aviendha had no idea how much time passed, moments, hours, days, it could have been days as well. The three of them sat in circle, nothing can be harder than what she had to do, putting Rand in his bed, calling Elayne and Min from Andor, and the worst of all, all those hours waiting, full with saidar, her and Elayne. Linked, they were still no match to Rand, that was why each of them held an angreal. With the two of them, aiding the two angreals, no one could break the shield. Not even a man as strong as Rand al'Thor.

Min run out of curses long ago, for some reason, she blamed herself for not viewing it. Or maybe she blamed herself because she had viewed it. Aviendha didn't understood, and Min seemed incapable of more than two or three coherent sentences. And even this rarely. Aviendha had to admit that Min faced it better than hers did or Elayne's could ever do. Elayne held the shield with every scrap of the One Power she could draw through the angreals and the link. As if the shield could stop the madness.

"I never truly believed him," Elayne said suddenly, "despite showing him to us, I never believed Lews Therin Telamon really spoke to Rand. Aviendha, are you sure that -?"

"I'm sure, near-sister, I wish I wasn't, but I'm." Aviendha said tiredly, her hands were clutched to fists so hard that they hurt. Elayne had asked this question only two dozens times in an hour.

"I think he's beginning to wake." Min said, her voice tight, a knife appeared in her hand and gone in a heartbeat. She seemed unaware of it.

Every eye in the bedchamber focused on Rand. They were only the three of them, it went beyond saying that none save them may hear about... what happened, what ever it was, until they would know enough. Rand tossed in the bed from the moment she had put him there. He struggled inside, but what he was struggling? The madness? Or the shade of a long dead madman, the man he once was.

Rand sat in the bed, throwing the blankets away, and the shield they created was... pressed, Aviendha knew how strong Rand was, but she was still amazed by his strength, despite all the power the held, despite the link, and the angreals. The shield still bent, very slightly, but it did bend. Elayne draw more of saidar, fear and agony feeling her. Aviendha didn't know what was stronger inside her, fear or anger. If Rand would.... No, he will not. She would not allow it!

Through the bond, the only emotion that reached her was... disgust, mixed with bitter fear. Rand didn't even gave them a signal look when he stumble out of the bed, he didn't look mad, at least they had this. He fell to his knees near the washstand. None of them made a move to help him, it was all Aviendha could do to stand still. She wanted to... she didn't knew what she wanted to do, to seat down and cry or to scream at someone, preferably Rand, fighting with Rand was second only to kissing him, in her eyes. And it wasn't fair! She had Rand fully for herself for less than a week; she couldn't lose him now! The pattern couldn't be so cruel. Rand emptied his stomach, for what seemed like hours, into the washstand.

It was Min who first recovered from the shock, and helped Rand to his feet. "Rand," she said, with him towering above her, "Are you..." She stopped to swallow, "I mean... Oh Light!"

"I'm sane," Rand said, his voice sounded nothing like his own. He sounded hollow. "For the time being, I'm sane." Wry amusement filled him for the shortest moment, replaced by fury in less than a heartbeat. "I don't care whatever you're sorry or not, or even how much!" He growled in half shout, giving Min a start. "I want you out of my head, and the sooner the better!"

He took a chair, not caring that the only cloth he had was his small cloth, Min lingered to his side. Worried expression her face, she certainly look relieved that Rand's shout wasn't directed to her. "I said I'm fine," He roared, this time, all the three of them had a start. Rand was never like this. "I don't need -" He clasped his mouth suddenly, and rake a hand through his hair, "I'm sorry," He said, sounding more like himself, for the first time since he woke. "It wasn't a pleasant experience. " Shudder run through him.

"What happened?" Elayne asked, her voice as cold as crystal.

"Lews Therin tried to seized control," Rand said, Min put a comporting hand on his shoulder, Rand caught Min's hand and pressed it to his cheek. He looked, and felt, like he was about to die of tiredness alone; and of fear too. "Narishma came, to tell me that I've duty, toh, here to the people that live now, not to those who died so long ago. Isn't it right?" Aviendha doubt whatever the question was directed to any of them, "You did what you'd to do, Lews Therin." Rand said, he felt like ice, something she saw only since they've used the bowl. "And you paid the price. Would you've it any other way? Would you?" Rand, it was Rand, shake his head, muttering something she didn't quite heard under his breath. She thought he said, "Would Ilyena have it any other way?"

"Rand," It took more courage than she thought she have, simply walking to him, "I know that you decided not to go, you told me that much before... before.... Before it happened, but what happened to Lanfear. And…"

She was thankful for the bond, it was the bond, that kept her from flinching when he put a finger against her mouth. Not for fear for herself. Rand would never harm her. Ilyena thought so, a small voice taunt her. Letting go of Min's hands, Rand rose to his feet, and began pacing. He moved like a cat, muscles flowing, without making the slightest sound. Tiredness forgotten. When he began talking, it took her a moment to tear her gaze from his legs - he had such a pretty legs. "...Passed her bond to Narishma." Rand fell quite for a moment, he looked like he was fighting down bad memories, "I doubt if there are many deeds harder to be done. I'd to fight both saidin and myself. And then Lews Therin too, he refused to accept my decision. I fear I let myself be affect by him far too much." His laugh was mirthless, "Mierin was always good in sinking me throat-deep in trouble." He stop pacing for a moment, looking at Elayne, "Did they teach you in the White Tower anything about the Dark One, save who, and what, he is? Anything about his nature? His abilities?"

"No," Elayne answered immediately, "not even the browns would study such things." She shivered, "I think it might even be forbidden, by Tower Law. But I can't be sure. Studying the Dark One might cause some to wish to turn to him, that is all is can remember."

Aviendha held herself up with willpower alone, fear that she only began to mute freed itself from her weak grasp. "Rand, what do you mean? I thought you know all this! You seem to know all about it! You plan to cleanse saidin tomorrow, and you don't even know what the Dark One might do?"

Rand close his eyes for a moment; "I did it once before, Aviendha. The result was the taint, I hadn't had any choice then, and I'll make sure there will be a choice for me now. As grim as it may be. And as for my knowledge about the Dark One, very few know more than I do about the Dark One and it's prison." Strange light burn in his eyes for a moment, "Moridin, whoever he may be, seemed to be the only living soul that know more than I do about the Dark One. During the war I..." He stopped for a moment, a wondering look in his eyes, "Lews Therin dedicated time and effort in order to learn as much as I... he could about his enemy. I remember all this knowledge, and I learned few things Lews Therin never had." Forced patience became anger, "but this fool Aes Sedai, three thousands years and they didn't even bothered to study their worst enemy. Children playing games! Did they thought that if they would ignore the Dark One he would ignore them?"

"It wasn't so, and you know it well enough, Rand al'Thor." Elayne's eyes were burning like blue sun, ruse to defend the tower. "Three thousands years the Tower preserved..."

"Rubbish!" Rand cut her off with a sharp motion, "What good there is in preserving? When you've to retreat step by step! When you will stand and fight? When the Shadow will be on the edge of victory? Or will they still refuse to acknowledge the danger?"

Elayne began to say something, when Rand rise his hands; anger was muted and pushed aside. Cold fury and old pain replaced it. "I've seen it before, Elayne. I've seen people that rather die refusing to face the truth. The taint, the Breaking, it all could be lied on this, and I'll not have it again. One way or the other, I will unite the world. Whatever the world want it or not!" The light in Rand's eyes faded, "I've seen the horror that happen when the world break, whatever need to be done, will be done. For there is no price higher that the one already paid."

Aviendha realized that her mouth was hanging open, it was sometimes hard to remember that the young man she love, a man in his early twenties, remember an age that died three thousands years ago, or more. Elayne sniffed, she didn't look impress by the speech, she certainly had more to say.

"Rand," Min began worriedly, then hesitated, obviously changing what she meant to say, "What are the chances for succeeding? In cleaning saidin, I mean."

Rand was stopped completely by the question, "I don't know, Min. I wish I could answer you, but I don't. All I can tell you is that it can be done, and that it has to be done."

"And that is more than highly dangerous," Aviendha murmured to herself, but Elayne heard her.

"That isn't the problem, can we allow ourselves not to try? If, as you say Rand, there is a chance, as small as it may be, to cleanse saidin? What are the chances if you would do nothing?" Elayne's question had one answer only.

Rand smile was full of sadness, "None, Elayne. It's a gamble, but we've nothing to lose."

"Save everything," Min said mournfully, it was so unlike her that everyone's eyes was turned to her, making an effort to smile, and failing miserably, Min said, "You'd better put some cloths on, Sheepherder. Before the three of us will begin to have some ideas you'll have trouble to accept…"

Rand only grinned at Min like a boy about to do franks. But inside, beneath the small cover of amusement, Aviendha could feel expectation, fear, anger, the never ceasing love that was constantly there, but hidden, maybe ever from Rand itself, Aviendha could feel something else. Something she almost became desperate in finding in Rand al'Thor. Hope. "What make think I'll have troubles accepting anything you can think of, Love." Rand said, then he laughed, a free, happy laugh, when he saw Min's cheek becoming deep red.

When she thought about it, and it had a disturbing tendency to pop into her mind every now and then, Mierin found it oddly fitting that the very first words she could remember hearing from the Narishma, who held her bond, and her soul, were curses.

The memory was dim, cloud in the fading feeling that had all of her while the bond exchanged holders. Ecstasy so strong that it reached the void of pain, and passed it. She was half dragged, half carried, by the young man in black striding through corridors light by angry balls of flame. The rock all around them was brown and black and gray, and to their footsteps joined the chiming of bells. For some reason, the man wore bells on his hair, extremely long hair for a man, it reached below his waist, and gather in two braids, with silver bell in the ends of the braids.

Glancing at him, she catch the sight of dark huge eyes, mouth twist in an angry snarl, and face that was quite pretty, just short of beautiful. She very much doubted that he was born more than twenty years ago, if that. She noted sweat he didn't bother to mope of his face. His shirt clanged to his chest like a second skin, It felt good, just being, she didn't have a past she could remember, the future was nothing to be concern about. Only the present was, and it was good to be with this man. Even though he dragged her through seemingly endless corridors in a half ran. Even while he seemed to be searching for more curses to mutter. She wonder whatever she should suggest him some of them, he certainly knew how to curse, but he wasn't the best she had heard, not the best by far. That title belonged to... strange, she could remember, a face appeared in her mind, red hair, weathered face and hard stone green eyes, a man that seemed able to curse for years without repeating himself once. She couldn't put a name to the face. The man stopped abruptly, and she nearly stumbled on him. Slumping into him seemed to clear her mind.

Her name was Mierin, and then Lanfear, and then Cyndane, but now she was Mierin again. She had betrayed the Great Lord, no; he wasn't her master anymore. She betrayed the Dark One and fled to Lews Therin. And Lews Therin kissed her. She knew it had to be important, but somehow, it wasn't. And somehow, that man was responsible to this. It had to do with the bond; she could feel the other man, feel him in a way very close to Linking, but very different also. She couldn't find the words for it. Maybe there weren't any. Lews Therin did said something about the bond changing everything. The man - Shadow consume her soul, she didn't even know his name! - Open a door and enter, the door remained open, as if he didn't care whatever she would follow him or not. All she could feel from him was rage, and exhaustion. She wondered how he could still stand, there seemed to be no energy left in his body. "So you returned to yourself." He said, with the tiniest note of satisfaction in his voice, when she followed him. "Good, I was beginning to fear that you might stay stun forever."

The room was big, clearly made with the One Power; it was strangely empty, with only three chairs and a table; nothing decorated or oriented. As if the man had no interest in his own room. "It might not be a bad idea," She replayed, outwardly calm. Looking at him, she decided that it could have been worse, of course, it could have also better. It was better! "Who are you?"

He blinked to the question, "What do you mean by that?" Worry flashed in him, and was suppressed quickly. "Did something happened to-"

"I mean," She cut him off with a sharp tone, "that I don't know your name."

The man stared at her for a long moment, and then he began to laugh softly. "That is the strangest thing I've ever heard." He said, amused. Mierin consider for a moment touching saidar and teaching him a lesson. For some reason, she had no wish to do so, no matter how angry she was. "My name is Jahar Narishma, Mierin." He introduced himself, formally. So now he had a name, and a pretty one at that. She caught herself just in time. What was she thinking? She loved Lews Therin! Lews Therin! She had nothing to do with this Narishma!

"You have everything to do with me, Mierin!" Narishma growled, making her jump, she didn't realize she spoke her thoughts, "All I meant when I went to the Lord Dragon was to make sure he wouldn't make any foolish step in his haste. What I got, however, was not what I expected. I could live with al'Thor's fury." Mierin hide a smile, the boy had too much confidence in himself. Narishma took a chair; his motions slow, he held himself in an iron grip, but he controlled whatever it cost himself. Inside, he failed to push away anger and bitterness. "The last thing I expected is to get a wife." He said troughs clench teeth.

His fist land on the table, she could feel his pain, he might have continued talking, but she wasn't aware of anything, all her being focused on his words. "Wife?" She whispered suddenly, why was she so stun? It didn't make sense, nothing make sense anymore!

She heard him mutter few curses, by what she have heard; he kept them for something truly special. "I didn't count the Tuning, Light burn me." Narishma put a hand under her chin, rising her gaze to meet his. "Sleep, Mierin." There was something in his voice, something that alerted a part of her mind, a distant part. He had such a lovely eyes. "Sleep, wife. I can shout of you after you wake, dear. Let the worse of it pass when you're sleeping. Sleep!" His voice was too gentle, and he wasn't angry at all suddenly.

"What are you-?" That was all she had time to say before sleep had her too deep for thought to exist.

Narishma sat on a chair near his bed, watching his wife. He met her barely three hours ago, and most of the time he and the Lord Dragon both had moved her bond. Bonding wasn't meant to be moved, and it was for the limits of the bond alone that they had a chance at the first place. Silvery hair was spread on the pillow, face that was far more than simply beautiful. He gave up fighting his own emotions with a heavy sign. He should despite the woman, she had betrayed the Light, and he had no wish to know how many people she had murdered in cold blood. She was a Forsaken, the Daughter of the Night; he had grown hearing stories about him. Stories to frighten children and grown men as well. Instead of hating her, he found himself making excuses for her! It didn't make what she did less wrong, but it made it easier for him to understand her, to accept her. Not that he had had any choice.

She was his warder, his wife, in the Black Tower, there was no difference between the two terms, and that was all there was to say about it. Whatever he like it or not, they were tied together. The limitations created by the nature of the bond itself allow the bond to exchange holders. Those limitation applied to the bond between al'Thor and Mierin, not to the bond between himself and Mierin. And then will never will. She was his forever, and he was her. Completely.

He brushed his finger over Mierin's cheek, and then left the room hastily. She was very beautiful, Light burn his soul, and just for good order, the Light can take Rand bloody al'Thor as well. It was the sound of metal against leather that made him realize that he unsheathed his sword. He took seven more steps, moving to the entrance to his rooms - they were the bigger he had ever had, bigger than he thought decent, but more than one of his ideas about the world had changed. His rooms were bare; he didn't have the time, or the wish to change it. He had nothing but the absolute necessary, although this probably would be his home for the rest of his life. He was Asha'man; and that went beyond everything. For now, the emptiness of the room was for good, he had the space he needed for training. He stood on his feet by willpower only. Transferring Mierin's bond, for some reason he could think about her as a Forsaken, not unless he put his mind to it, from the Lord Dragon was the hardest task he had ever had to do. Even when the man helped him. And he knew that the Lord Dragon was in much worse shape than he himself was. The man had to fight the restriction Mierin's bond created inside his mind. Even a forth bond had a strength, although not half as much as the first three. al'Thor claimed it was resulted by the complexity of the flows. No one, as strong in saidin as he might be, could weave the weave needed for bonding in the forth time. The weave had to be changed, according to the number of warders one had. One had to make sure that the bond would... mixed up with the other bonds, that was the only appropriate term for this. And the difficulty only grew with the third warder one's bonded, the forth was impossible. In order to bond Mierin, so al'Thor said, he had to give up most of the weave. Exhausted as he was, he still forced himself to dance the forms of battle, a deadly, beautiful dance. His thought became focused, cold, as the emptiness of emotions had him when he reached out for the sweet taste of saidin; and for all the corruption he could imagine. Tomorrow, he thought with grim pleasure, tomorrow you will be cleansed saidin. Tomorrow there will be only sweetness in your touch. But his mind returned to Mierin, to he wife, his warder, her bond to him had no such limits; it has the full affect on him, and her.

The sword flew from his hands, and he stare at the place were it landed for a full minute before he came back to himself, he was too tired to think, or to act, and there was the Tuning to consider. It affected him too, not Mierin alone. He glanced back, at the bedroom, the Light alone knew how tempting it was, but he resist it, letting go of saidin, letting his mind focus on the struggle not to let the One Power destroy him in the moment of retreat, help a little.

With a sigh, he sat down on a chair, he hadn't realize how hard those chairs were before, and close his eyes. Exhausted as he was, Mierin's face lingered on his mind as if burned for a long time, and when he finally surrender to sleep, she invaded his dreams too.

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 9 January 1999]

[This was written with the aid of Lanfir]

Part I: Lews Therin

Cyndane felt her legs hurting as she watched the conversation between Moridin and Graendal from her kneeling position. It frustrated her that she could not hear the words through Moridin's shield, not to mention of course that she couldn't get up and walk away unless Moridin ordered her to.

She looked at Moghedien shorty, but she was still kneeling with a bowed head and closed eyes. Moghedien seIed patient, but the Spider had, despite her many faults, a lot of patience. More than Cyndane ever had herself.

They were inside Moridin's favorite place: the bubble outside the Pattern. Cyndane never liked those places because of the unexpected danger of drifting to far away from the Pattern to return, or worse: the exploding. Cyndane had never studied those bubbles anyway, when she needed a hideout, Tel'aran'rhiod had always suited her needs. Moridin, though,seIed to know everything about thI. As if he studied thI for years. The only other person Cyndane knew with so much knowledge about thI, had been Ishamael. She smiled faintly. Another resIblance. They were so much alike that she was almost sure that Moridin was Ishamael reborn. When she confronted him with that fact, though, Moridin seized her with the True Power.

While she stumbled and still trIbled from the hit, he hissed at her: "Don't forget your name, Cyndane."

She gasped, and not because she saw the black spot, the saa, drifting before his gaze. The name. Last Chance. "Don't call me like that! My name is Lanfear!"

Moridin burst into laughter until tears rolled down his face. "No it is not," he giggled, and showed her a cour'souvra. "This is you, Cyndane. Lanfear is dead. You have gotten a second chance. A last chance." She wanted to scream when he touched the crystal - and her mind - but controlled her shock and her anger to shivering. A Mindtrap! "Be grateful for your last chance, girl," Moridin snarled.

"The Great Lord offered you the chance to serve the Nae'blis."

This was just too much. Cyndane held herself barely erect when she spat: "Are you the Nae'blis?!"

"Yes. And you will serve me, girl, as you will serve the Great Lord. He has almost lost his patience with you."

Cyndane closed her eyes miserably when she rIIbered that conversation. This was one of the many conversations where Moridin defeated her every time. Humiliated her every time. She rIIbered the first one, too. She rIIbered opening her eyes after a period of darkness, after a period of pain.

After the fight with Lews Therin - when the Aes Sedai with him, pushed her through the ter'angreal doorframe. That Aes Sedai girl offered herself, too, in her attIpt to kill the Daughter of the Night. And succeeded. Cyndane almost respected her. She was untrained, a child, but she had defeated Be'lal too. Be'lal was a fool. I was not. She was just lucky. I did not expect her. I was only watching... Lews Therin...

Because of the painful mIories, it took a while to figure out that the pretty, silverhaired girl she was looking at in the mirror, was herself. In an sudden outburst of anger, she smashed the mirror with saidar. And while the mirror shattered, she felt the shield sliding between herself and the True Source. She turned around, furiously, to see who had the bloody guts to cross her plans - and saw the tall Myrdraal standing in the corner of the room, looking at her. Smiling. A Myrdraal? Smiling? she thought hazily, but pushed it away angrily. Furiously. "What has been done to me!" She shouted at him. "I shall unknot this bloody Illusion and-"

"You shall not, Cyndane." A human voice said, and Cyndane watched as Moridin walked in, smiling as unhumurous as the Myrdraal did. "It is not an Illusion. You were dead, and this is your next life. This is your body."

Her thoughts jumped away from that point, probably out of selfprotection, and she returned inevitably to the thoughts she was always having. Her greatest love, her greatest desire, her greatest hate, her greatest fear. All in one person. Lews Therin. The name struck her as lightning. The words she said to him seIed to echo in her mind all the time. If you are not mine, you are dead. She rIIbered the pain she inflicted him with, trying to kill him, challenging him to kill her, because she did not want to live anymore. He did not fight back. He was unable to fight her, she found out, and in her fury she had attacked him again. She did not know why he did not really attacked her, but at that moment she did not care, she just wanted his death. He did it again!

He slept with that Aielwoman! He was hers! "He is still mine," she whispered determined to herself. "Forever."

It sounded convincing, at least.

Moghedien looked up at her words and smiled at her in a humiliating way. She did not say anything, but they both knew that the Spider understood. Moghedien had seen the love affair from the beginning until its end.

Cyndane looked at Graendal, whose face had become paler and paler during her talk with Moridin. She kept her face smooth, but Cyndane could see she did not like what Moridin was telling her. Graendal lost her freedom, like all of the Chosen, though Moghedien and herself suffered the most, acting like servants in livery.

Cyndane wanted to be dead. She had lost everything when she fell through that red ter'angreal doorframe. Everything. She shook her head. She did not want to die. She still had a chance. A last chance.

Lews Therin is still alive! He can be mine again! What was death, to her? Without Lews Therin, she almost wished for it. Almost. She almost wished she had the courage to open herself to saidar, to end it all. What stopped her? Lews Therin!

She gritted her teeth. Always Lews Therin. Since almost the first time she had seen him he was in her thought. Scrambling her mind, the only one that made her loose her tIper. Burn the man! She still wanted him, despite everything. She betrayed the Light for him! She died for the man! What more could a man could wish for? But he left her! She forced her thoughts to another subject. Her captivity! She like none of it! And she would be free!

Moghedien stared at her, the spider looked at her, there was understanding in the other woman's eyes. The other woman would help her, if she would find a way to free thI both. Cyndane doubted if there would be a price that she wouldn't pay for being free. Death wasn't something she feared of, but if she was to die, she would want to die forever. Not to awake again caged in a way worse than she already was.

Lews Therin! This time, love wasn't connected to the name. She knew Lews Therin better than he knew himself, better than anyone alive knew. If only she would be able to talk to him. If only she would have a chance to convince him not to kill her. He held himself back, the last time they engaged. With the angreal he could have killed her. He was always arrogant, arrogant enough to show her that she lost him completely. Pain! The world was pain without Lews Therin. He would never be hers, not of his free will. And forcing him to love her would be constantly knowing that had he had a choice, he would refuse her. Yes, she lost him. She only wished it hadn't hurt so much.

Lost in thought, she forgot herself completely. If only she had the chance. Lews Therin broke Asmodean's bond to the Great Lord, an impossibility. Lews Therin would free her from Moridin, if she would manage to talk to him more than a moment without him killing her. Lews Therin would do it, but what price would she have to pay? Not much, and everything. Suspicions, half heard whispered, and a thought that horrored her. A price that would have convinced Lews Therin to betray the Light, in an age long gone. Certainly it had to mean something to him even now, a new body, a new mind. She still saw Lews Therin in Rand al'Thor. Maybe she could even avoid mentioning her suspicions. Maybe knowing about Moridin would be enough. If Moridin was really Ishamael, and she saw no other option, unless... In the Pattern of the Age, every possibility existed.

Most of thI could be accessed form a Portal Stone. Moridin was Ishamael! He had to be! But the reason Ishamael and Lews Therin hated each other with such passion, a hate stronger than the hatred between her and Ilyena, wich took something. The reason they hate each other so much was that they were so like each other. Ishamael was dead, but so was she. Wouldn't the Great Lord be as angry at Ishmael for dying as he was at her? Would such man would be placed as Nae'blis? The other option was something she rather not think about. But her mind refused to evade her suspicion. Had Lews Therin belonged to the Shadow that was the way he would have been.

Every possibility exist, in the turning of the Wheel of Time. The lesson she had learned so long ago echoed in her mind. And another, one she had learn in the War of Power. Sometimes, the opportunities that were too good to be true were traps. But on others, what you saw was what was. Sometimes, rarely, a man was just a man. And the best way to hide something was to put it where you will never look. In the place where you knew as your own. A Dark Dragon or the Betrayer of Hope. Either way, she was trapped. And she would need Lews Therin to escape.

Two thoughts chased each other in her mind. No way to be free from a mindtrap, no way at all. And: Lews Therin has already done the impossible. Two thoughts, two courses of action, and more than her soul on the stake, if she would choose wrong.

Lews Therin would agree to make a bargain with her, she would go back to the Light. Burn her soul, she would even agree to ignore this Aviendha. Would agree to ignore anything.

Her freedom. - Something so simple, something of a value so high. If she would fail... Lews Therin had already done the impossible.

She could hear Graendel's breaths again, Moridin teared his shield down, Graendel seIed to be on the point of fainting, her breath heavey with fear. Moridin smiled at Graendal. The woman's face took a whiter shade of pale. Cyndane could not resist a little smile; Graendal surely deserved it after her act of using Compulsion on her and Moghedien. "You can go now, Graendal. I trust you will follow my orders well," Moridin said, his tone amused. Cyndane hated him for it. He enjoyed his power a bit too much - like Ishamael had done, would Lews Therin be so, had he choosen the Dark One? Graendal gave the Nae'blis a hard glare she was foolish enough not to hide, but curtesied quickly before she made a Gateway. As the Gateway blinked out, Cyndane heard herself say: "Nae'blis, can I talk to you?" And, with a short look at the Spider; "Alone?"

Moridin smiled. "Secrets, Cyndane? Already?"

She gritted her teeth. "I need to speak with you Nae'blis. It is a matter of importance. If you would please..." She hate to plead! But Moridin nodded, the saa drifted through cold blue eyes. Cyndanes own eyes drifted to Moghedien, who was still kneeling and looked at her with pure hate. She jumped to her feet and rushed outside as fast as she could to Moridin's gesture.

"What is it, Cyndane? Why do you have to talk with me in secret?" He could find amusIent in strange places, and if he would find her words displeasing... she couldn't hide a shudder.

"I have been thinking," she said and noticed in disgust that her voice was not as firm as she wanted it to be. Maybe it was good, willows bend in strong winds, and survived, oaks broke and died. And her own death would be extrIely painful. "And I think I know a way to capture Lews Therin."

Moridin laughed. "You never give up, dont you?" But he didn't sound displeased, "How long are you going to try? Haven't you lost enough?" She lost more than enough, but the man would never understand.

"Do you really care?We have a lot in common, you and I. Nobody recognizes us for what we were, and we are both the most powerful people in the world. And we both want to have Lews Therin. What matter the price I pay for you? If I bring you Lews Therin?" She felt the deadness inside her body vanish as a feeling flared up; it was almost enthusiasm. "He can be yours." She almost said ours, a mistake she mustn't do again. And as she told Moridin half the thruth of what she was planning to do, she almost felt happy again. Her fate was hers again. And there was a chance Lews Therin's fate could be hers, too.

When Cyndane entered the room in Illian, Lews Therin was not there. His room was dark and cold, the moonlight was the only light. It shone white and pure through the large window. Exhausted, she letted herself fall on the great bed. It felt good, to lie again in Lews Therin's bed, even if she was alone. The conversation with Moridin, who ever he really was, had been tiresome. She had let herself forgot how stubborn he could be, and how he wanted to play safe. She was taking a great risk with this action, but it would be worth it. All that mattered, was convincing him that this would be worth it. That she would proove she was still reliable. It was the hardest thing she had ever did in her life. Moridin was so intelligent that he understood almost everything she did and did not say. He understood the intentions, not the words. With that fact in the back of her mind, she was able to convince him. It worked! She almost laughed in sheer joy.

While waiting for Lews Therin, she thought about what she would say to him. How she would have to say it. Convincing Moridin was hard, but convincing Lews Therin would be much harder. The Dragon was as stubborn as the Betrayer of Hope had been, if not more. But of course she knew Lews Therins weak spots, and not Moridin's. But would the man Lews Therin was, now, still be vulnerable to what she was planning to use on him? Rand al'Thor led a different life now, with a different love. Cyndane gnashed her teeth. She rIIbered one of the last things she did before she died. Which one of thI? Which one of thI is Aviendha? Jealousy stabbed her. - If you are not mine, you are dead - twiched in her heart, but she had to face it to give her plans a chance of succeeding. She had to forget her jealousy. If you really love him, you want him to be happy. You must let him go. She almost laughed out loud. Bitterness. She could not let him go. Never.

Just as she finished this last thought, Rand Al'Thor entered. Alone, to her relieve. All she only saw his tall dark figure against the light, but she knew it was him. She would have recognised him everywhere and always. He channeled the lamps on, an old habit Lews Therin used to have, too.He gave a start when he saw her. "Who are you?" He dIanded. "What are you doing in my rooms?" She had to bite the inner side of her cheek, since the very first moment she had seen him she knew. Lews Therin was this man. But she could see the farmboy there too, now, save the body, he was Lews Therin.

Cyndane laughed softly when she glid off the bed. "You have changed since the last time I saw you, Lews Therin. You seI harder, colder." She approached him eased, not hastily at all. For one moment she was terrified, if she recognized him, he might have recognized her too, and she would die on the spot. Lews Therin never made the same mistake twice. He did not hurt me before, he shall not hurt me now! she rIinded herself, forcing to smile. Slowly, she touched his cheek - and almost shrieked when he grabbed her wrist within a heartbeat. Pushing her hand away. He surely learned a lot. How much he had changed "Dont be afraid of me, Lews Therin. At least I will not harm you." She said dryly.

"Why do you call me Lews Therin? And who are you?" He still hold her wrist. His hold was firm, almost painful. A bit more preasure, and her wrist would snap. His voice were so cold that she had to hide a shiver. Maybe he was even harder then when he sealed the Bore. She was the last who caught his gaze before the taint attacked him. That look on his face had been --

"You used to call me Mierin, and love me." -- more than determined. More than desperate. More than a man who knew he would die and would still hold on to what he was doing -- Telling him the truth was the only escape she could have, the only one that could free her, either from captivity or death.

"Mierin? Lanfear!" He gasped, and she felt a shield slide on her, so strongly that she felt it even when not holding saidar. He took her chin in one hand, rising her eyes to meet his, she saw recognation in his eyes. "You are dead!"

"Death is not always final with the Lord of the Grave," she smiled faintly. She felt none of it.

"You have changed!" This was almost the boy she met in the world of the Portal Stone. Almost.

"My body died. They gave me another." She hugged herself, she didn't want to remember.

"You are still beautiful," he said and played with his left earlobe. A habit of Lews Therin, and he rIIbered it too. He froze at the moment he realised he what did it.

She smiled at him, faintly. It felt good, knowning that he still thought she was beautiful. "Thank you. Lews Therin." It didn't lessen the fear inside her.

"What do you want?" He said, brusque again, as he realised again to whom he was talking. "I seI to rIIber that the last time I saw you, you were killing me." His eyes could bore a hole in a stone wall, "I avoided killing you in Cairhien, don't count on it now." -- painful to look at. Especially when their eyes met. A whole conversation had lied in that one look. Why, Mierin? he had asked without the use of any words. And she wanted to cry for what separated thI. It seIed not worth it anymore. What made us end up this way? It had been the only moment of doubt. His eyes narrowed, and he was determined to go on. To seal her in. To imprison her --

"I know. I was jealous. I don't always control myself when I get so angry, and rarely when it had something to do with you." Cyndane smoothed her black-and-red dress and swallowed hard, she sat down on his bed. Her knees couldn't support her anymore. She sighed deeply. "Lews Therin, I loved you. I still do. I always will. You know that. But the idea you -- you..." She gulped, tears burnt in her eyes. She had to say it. "The idea you slept with that Aielwoman, the idea I lost you again, it was more than I could bear." She paused for a moment, waited to say the true words where you would manipulate him with. She would manipulate him with the thruth, with the feeling she had when that cursed friend of the dark- Kadere - told her he slept with that Aiel. "I did not want to kill you then, Lews Therin. I only wanted to die. I wanted you to kill me, I was challenging you to kill me - for I could not bear the pain, Lews Therin, I just could not." I will never be yours, I will always belong to Ilyena. The words broke her heart, again. He did not look at her. Quietly he studied the bedspread, though he still held on to saidin, still held the shield on her. She knew it. She brushed against the shield, too faintly for him to feel it. It would hold, no matter what she would do, whatever the course would be, she was in his hands. For him to decide what he will do with her.

"I could not kill you." he finally said.-- and to lock her away for ever, while he would spend his life with that doe sop of an Ilyena. She stared at him in horror, frozen, until she felt the One Power again. The Great Lord had let the shield drop, she could stop him. But just when she embraced saidar, she felt something terrible, horrible, filthy in the air. A feeling of sickness. Around her. And she heard Lews Therin scream, together with the people he brought with him. A scream of intense horror. It was the last thing she heard before she woke up, thousands of years later. --

"I know. But that girl with you, could." Fire blazing around her, burning her skin, burning her, she accepted the pain happily, it was by far better than the one in her heart.

"Moiraine. She died too, I think. The ter'angreal exploded when the two of you fell through it." A long silence fell. Cyndane realised he was not wanting to fight her. He looked awfully tired and wearily. He was too weary to fight her, or to discuss her words. He would listen to all she had to say. She surpressed the want to smile. This was going to be a lot easier than she had planned. "No help for her, not that this would make any differance, she would kill herself before letting herself serve the Dark One." She heard the faint accusation, Why, Mierin?

"Lews Therin, I need your help." It took all her strength to say this words.

He gave a start and looked up. "Why are you asking me to help you? You always took care of yourself. And why would I? You would have none of my help, Lanfear." Resisting after all. There was still a spark of life in him that resisted. It almost relieved her. The name she had choosen, Daughter of the Night, cut her like a whip. The hate in his voice was worse than anything she had ever had to face.

"I think I can give you something valuable in exchange." Her life, her soul, her freedom were on the stake, Lews Therin was the one who used to gamble, and he often won. Would she be able to beat him in his own game?

"What?" He seemed eager to know. Curiousity was by far stronger in Lews Therin than in anyone else she had ever known.

"Have you ever heard of a cour'souvra?"

"A Mind Trap," he answered without thinking. She was talking to Lews Therin now, not to the Al'Thor boy. It frighten her, Graendel knew more than anyone alive about the way human's mind worked. And not even she could explain what might result of Lews Therin's reborn.

"I was captured by one.You must help me to get out." She rose to her feet in indignation when he began to laugh. Her hands itched to slap him. But it would ruin everything.

"Can't you find something harder to ask me to do?" He had changed, she didn't even consider that he would laugh at her. "Why don't you ask me to give you the moon? That is impossible!"

"Healing severing was, too. Cutting bondings with the Great Lord, too. I have seen you doing impossible things before, Lews Therin. You must help me!" She grabbed his hand and squeezed it to stress the urge of the case. The desperate feeling she showed, was true, too. She was playing an act and at the same time, she told the thruth. But not even half of it, somehow, he always knew when she was lying to him. She couldn't risk it now.

"Who captured you?" he asked. She expected him to ask what he would gain by helping her, but not him, this would come later. "How?"

"He calls himself Moridin now. But I believe he's Ishamael." She looked at him, waiting for her words to sink. What his reaction would be?

"No!" But this came as a whisper, his hand squeezed her so hard that she had to grit her teeth not to scream from the pain, "How many time I will have to kill him? How many times! Doesn't putting a sword through his heart enough!?" His voice was harsh, his eyes looked beyond her.

"Death is not always final... not with the Great Lord. Unless you will use balefire, and that has its own risks." Destroying the pattern was something even he would want to avoid, even with his hate to Ishmael.

"I killed him with Callandor! Burned his soul! Wasnt that enough??" The outburst was so full of fury and pain that it startled her. She knew Lews Therin hated the Betrayer of Hope, but this even seemed a bit exaggarated. He jumped up and walked the room up and down, muttering and cursing. Cyndane sat cross-legged on the bed and watched him, worried, it wasn't like him to turn his fury to her, but it was always better to be safe than sorry. She rIain silence, the last she wanted was to rIind him of her precense now. She realized how much she missed him. After a period, he looked up again. "Why did he capture you?" he said even wearier than before. But he was iron, the shield was still firmly holding her.

"I messed everything up by tumbling through that ter'angreal. He gave me another chance. A last chance. He called me Cyndane and gave me this body, and got me in a Mind Trap to control me. So I would not blow this last chance, he said." She couldn't hold back the bitterness.

"Cyndane," he said softly. As if to taste the name. "A pretty name. The meaning though..." He shook his head as if he wanted to chase his thoughts away. "Why do you think I will help you?"

Cyndane almost laughed. She knew him just too well after all. She had him, if there was just the smallest bit of Lews Therin in him, she had him completely. She will gain her freedom again. What do I want more? The price for freedom would be forsaking the Great Lord, but this matter nothing to her. She will lose every chance to win him, but considerring her options, she didn't have a choice. The words came slowly though, she had to force each one of them. "Only one thing, Lews Therin Telamon. I can give you Ilynea." By the look on his face, she won.

Part II: Ilyena

"Ilyena," he breathed, his eyes squeezed shut. To anyone save her, his face where a blank mask, she knew him enough to read the immense pain in him. "Oh Light, Light burn my soul, Ilyena. I, I..." He tottered, it seemed that all his anger flooded away within a hearbeat. Cyndane closed her eyes, trying to regulate her breathing. She felt burning all over her body, and terribly tired. It pained, seeing him grieving so much for a dead woman that didn't deserve him.

When she looked up, he was sitting in a comfortable chair with a high back, his knucles white on the chair's arms. Astonishment was overwhelming him. When he was finally able to talk again, his voice was still a breathy whisper. Full of burning anger, hidden pain."Is she... She is not dead? She is dead! I have killed her myself!" His face were a twisted mask of pain, his eyes widened and almost on the edge of crying, his face lost of all the hard lines it had when she mentioned Ishamael. She wanted to hug him terribly, wanted to kill him for feeling so much for another woman save her.

Cyndane shook her head. "Not really, not fully." It hurts, she cried inside. I dont want to tell him! I do not want to see that look on his face! Burn me, I have to! "I already... sealed when they did it, I never knew this was possible, not for Ilyena. When we awoke, it was not necessary anymore! Until now, you remember her now, don't you?" Did he remember her? The first time she lied her eyes on him? The first time they kissed? Did he remember broken promises of love? Nights of pasion? Did he... The pain inside her was unbearable, so strong she wanted to vomit.

"Did what, burn you!" In one fluid motion, he rose from the chair and clutched her shoulder hard, pushing her to her feet. That was not something Lews Therin was used to do. Rand Al'Thor's habit? Lews Therin would have use the power. "Did what? Who?"

She straightened her back. Now, now is the time. Now I can manipulate him.Gain your freedom, burn you! she shouted at herself, gain freedom, and lose him, what do I choose?. Lews Therin did not seem to notice. "Let go of me, Lews Therin, and sit down. I cannot tell you this if you are threathening me."

"I am not threathening you!" he spat, but took immediate control of himself. "Maybe I am. What did who do?" She took her seat on the bed again, outwardly calm.

He still stood before her, trembling slightly as she looked up to him from her place on the bed. And from this uncomfortable position, she began to talk. His hands were closed to fists. "Soon after we awoke, most of us... Aginor and Balthamel had died already, and Ishamael and I were the only ones awake yet, Ishamael was raging about everything that went wrong after the Sealing. I let him go, I wasn't that interested, I heard you died, and that you killed everyone you loved. Including Ilyena. That was all I cared to know about. And then Ishamael began to talk about that...." She wanted to curse, but swallowed her words as she saw the hurted look on his face. It almost broke her heart. How he must have suffered from what he has done... Maybe now he understood how much he hurt her. "About your wife. And about death not being final after all. That he took her after her death to Shayol Ghul, that the Great Lord had caught her soul. She is there, Lews Therin, sleeping outside of time. Believe me," her voice tightened, He must believe me, he must! "He wondered if she would be useful when you would remember more of your past. He claimed it was possible, I didn't believe him, then. Of course, we both know that he died before he could use her on you, and I would not even dream of waking her up."

His eyes were far off, not seeing her. "Ilyena," So much longling, so much love in this single word. The love that was once hers. Then his eyes hardened, he was beyond fury, beyond rage. He was wrapped in wrath. "Ishmael said..." He hit one of the bed post with a fist, it was almost two inches of hard wood, it shattered like glass. Lews Therin didn't seem aware of it, " How could this be done? Ilyena had no bond for the Dark One to draw her soul."

"I don't know," She told him, the truth, "All I know is that it took every last drop of strength the Dark One had. To pass through the seals and grab Ilyena's soul. I was contend to know that Ilyena wouldn't... interupt my plans for you. She is placed in a stasis box, and I never thought of trying to free her." She did, more than once, she wanted to strangle the woman with her bare hands.

"Until now," he said, but his thoughts were not really fixed at her. His eyes looked far beyond anything in the room, almost as if he was listening to something, or someone. He began pacing, walking the length of the room, another habit Lews Therin had. "I know I can't trust her, the question is, can I trust you?" He said under his breath, talking to himself. He abruptly turned around and walked to the window. With his back turned at her, and watching the view over Illian, he said coldly, "Why, of all women of the world, would you lead me to Ilyena?"

Cyndane holded her hands in the air. Frustrated. "Because I am the only one who knows about her."

"You hate her." The voice were stone hard and icy cold.

She watched the muscle of his back tensing. "I do."

"You still love me." The was a glint of amusement in the words.

"I do." She hadn't bother to keep the fury away from her voice.

He turned to her again. "So why would you help me to get back to her? To reunite us again? You're romantic, but that is not something you would do."

"Burn you, Lews Therin, I told you!" Cyndane jumped off the bed and opposed him, her hands planted on her hips. "I want to be free! No ties that bind my soul, nobody who will order me around as a servant. I do not want to be caged. I want to be free. Free!" Free from all save him, but she couldn't tell him this.

"I can understand that. You always wanted to do what you wanted. Sometimes Iwondered who you served, The Dark One, The Creator or just yourself."

"I serve no one. There is only one person I can stand next to, and that is you. I have told you that before. But since you are not willing, I will do it on my own. Now will you help me or not?"

"You are a dangerous woman, Mierin," he only said, he sound amuse. Suddenly he spun about to face the door, so fast that it alarmed her, sent her to saidar. He hadn't freed her from the shield. "Oh Light, why now?" he just just said before the door opened. It slammed against the wall, and Cyndane saw a pretty young woman with golden curly hair run in. The girl looked excited, "Rand, I have to tell you about-"
Ilyena! Cyndane recognized the woman, falling back on the bed in astohishment. She was so stunned that she barely felt the hate. That is....impossible! Her breathing stopped for a few moments, and she had to use all her willpower to keep it going again.

"Who is she, Rand," the girl said, her voice tightening, her hands planted on her hips. "And what is she doing in your bedchambar? Is she one of the nobility?" She held saidar. And was ready to use it, by the look on her face, Cyndane wondered against whom. Lews Therin regarded her with an angry look.

"Elayne, what are you doing here?" Lews Therin... Rand... asked, he hid his surprise well, and his fury even better, but she knew. "You're supposed to be in Caemlyn. I thought you will be there for a few days." Somehow Cyndane seemed to have lost control over the situation. Elayne, not Ilyena. If she remembered correctly, a friend of that dark-haired farmgirl that Rand once loved... She had been with him in Tear when he claimed Callandor.

"I was, yes," Elayne said. Her whole attitude was challenging. And suddenly, before she began to talk, Cyndane knew why. This was a woman talking to her lover. A woman being jealous. Pain babbled up inside of her, but she pushed it back in that place in her stomach again. It had rested there for years, she had to keep it there. "I traveled here because I wanted to tell you about Egwene. She need to talk with you. But in the name of the Light Rand, who is that... woman?"

Lews Therin looked shortly at her, and Cyndane felt uncomfortable. She was still surpressing the pain. The girl reminded her a bit too much at Ilyena. "This is Cyndane," he said to Elayne, "but I think she prefers to be called Mierin."

The face of the girl softened a bit when she smiled at Cyndane. It made her whole face light up, she was really pretty. "I don't blame you, having such a name, who gave you that poor name?" Her whole behaviour was somewhere between being girlish and an air of dignity. Cyndane suspected that she was high born, with that attitude.

"Maybe you should call me Mierin," she said, answering the other womans smile. "It is the only name I have with some pleasant memories." Her glance at Lews Therin should leave no doubt what she was talking about.

"Seventy four." Lews Therin said quietly.

"Seventy four? What do you mean?" The girl wondered.

"Seventy four time she had tried to kill me, isn't it? Or was it seventy five?" He hadn't bother to hide his contempt, it hurt her more than anything else would. And he knew it.

"What do you mean, Rand al'Thor." Elayne's voice was as hard as steel.

"Nothing," Cyndane said quickly, "We are old friends, and he simply enjoy to tease me, sometimes he take it too far."

"Oh," The tense drained off the girl, she decided she had no reason to be jealous. It was almost funny. "You shouldn't do it, Rand. Will you never learn to be polite" Lews Therin moaned loudly and threw himself on a chair.

The pain attacked Cyndane again. He had lost Ilyena, so he had searched for a woman that would resemble her as much as possible. "Are you lovers?" she heard herself ask.

"Yes," Elayne said simply. "I'm his warder."

Cyndane spun her head to Lews Therin. "What about that Aiel girl, then?"

"Aviendha?" Was he blushing? He almost seemed to. He hesitated a while before speaking. "She, too."

"What?!" Cyndane spat, jumping off the bed again. But the air solidified itself around her, forcing her back on the bed. She hurled herself at the shield, a stone wall she pounded all her might against, but it held. The Great Lord burn his soul, it held. There were tears in her eyes. How could she ever bare this, after the sacrifice she made with giving him Ilyena, how could she? But the next moment she was unable to move, and because she did not feel anything, but saw the glow around Elayne, she knew it must be Lews Therin. "Why, Lews Therin, why?" she cried, helplessy. She smashed at the shield that kept her from embracing saidar again, but it was no use. As much as struggling was. "The Great Lord take you, why?"

She heard Elayne gasp, and Lews Therin hissed at her. He was angry as she had neverseen him before."What do I do with you, Mierin? Burn you, she wasn't suppose to know!"

Cyndane wanted to stop crying, but she somehow seemed to collapse. "Burn me, I am not a coward, I am not weak. This is just too much. I sacrificed everything for you, Lews Therin!" A part of her just could not believe she was loosing her dignity here, but considered coldy that it might help her convincing him to help her. I must show him weakness, she thought, to comfort herself in what she was doing, but the feelings were bitterly real. "Everything! Why did you left me? I would have done anything for you. I love you!"

Elayne goggled at her, mouth opened wide, "What?!"

"I left for a simple enough reason, Lanfear! Ilyena had nothing to do with this, or have you forgot? You convinced yourself that you love me, you never truly loved anything save power! Never! After what you did, be glad I've not killed you on the spot. I can destroy your soul, so utterly that even you precious Great Lord would be able to do nothing! Be glad I don't make you pay for all the crimes you committed in the name of love! The only reason you're still alive and unharmed is Ilyena! Never forget it, Lafear! Never forget who I gave my heart!"

Elayne took a step toward her, Cyndane hadn't saw her drawing the dagger she held in her hand. Saidar surrounded her in a threatening glow, she looked beautiful even with face twisted with rage. "You are dead!" Elayne hissed at her. "You almost killed Aviendha and died!

"So are you when you ever lay your hands on him again!" She replied, no doubt the woman held herself from bodily attacking her with fingernails. She tried to touch saidar again, useless.

"Elayne," Lews Therin said with a voice that could have frozen the Pit of Doom itself, his face were... it make her shudder and hug herself. "leave us alone. Mierin and I have to talk."

"Talk?" Elayne spat, her voice and face filled with disgust and hate. "Talk? This... woman wants to kill you!"

"She will not try again. Now Elayne, please. Leave us alone."

"I will not, Rand al'Thor. If you don't mind, My Lord Dragon, I will remain here to make sure she doesn't threat on you in... other ways." Elayne's voice was frozen.

Cydane smiled at her. "I certainly hope you will be of some use." She savored the sound of the gritting teeth.

"I will regret it," Lews Therin signed, "Leave us for now, Elayne." It wasn't a pleading anymore.

Elayne looked at him with indignation, "The bond is not to be used for such..." She swallowed hard, and continued, she already began walking at the door."We will talk about it with details later, My Lord Dragon." Elayne walked out of the room, her back straight, her curly hair dancing on her shoulders, but she did give Cyndane a filthy glare before she closed the door. A girl after all. How young is she? Nineteen?

When her eyes drifted back to Lews Therin once again, he was observing her with a far away look in his eyes. "How can I be sure to trust you? Most of all, after I have seen this happening? You are not steady at all -- it surprises me that you want your freedom even more badly than you want me. You love your freedom that much?"He glanced at the door, "You have just caused me more troubles than you will ever know. "Do you know it?"

You will be mine anyway, Lews Therin, somehow, she thought, "Good!" She would tell him nothing else. Somehow, after that loss of last hope, new hope had seemed to be flaring up inside her. She did not understand why, things seemed worse than they had ever been, but it was a simple fact.

He smiled faintly, as if he had guessed her thoughts. "I know you as well as you know me, Mierin. It is quite refreshing, you havent changed a bit. I almost understand you. So you want to be free from your Mind Trap, yes? Maybe I know a way." He walked over to her brusquely, took her in his arms and kissed her firmly. At the first moment, she struggled in surprise, wanting to slam him away, but the next moment she realised it was Lews Therin she was kissing, something she had dreamed of in centuries. Breathless and passionately she kissed him back, but he kept control over the kiss. Warmth from his lips flooded into her, as if he warmed her from the inside. Filling a void inside of her with what she had missed for years. It brought a tense with it, a tense that became stronger and stronger, it melted inside of her, became hot, hotter than she wanted to, stronger even, until the point of letting her burst and -- it bursted. With a shriek, she pushed him away in the dazzling feeling that took over her. Something in her mind had doubled, she felt terrible and wonderful in the same moment. She was all bubbly and happy inside, as a little girl in love, and on the onder side she felt.... as if she had gained something. As if she would never been alone again. She was aware of her body, of his, in a way she never was before.

A buzzing in the back of her mind came up, softly at first, but becoming stronger."What have you done to me?" she demanded.

"You want to be free, Mierin. That is what I plan to give you!" He pushed her away from him roughly. And she struggled to stand on unstead knees. "You will not enjoy it though."

With the buzzing, the pain came. It pulled at something outside of her. It pulled harder and harder, and her head, her mind, seIed to burst again, but now inanother way. The pain became too worse to bear, and she realizes she screamed. "What are you doing?! Stop it! STOP IT!" Her whole body ached now, the sheer pain became her world, it drowned everything in a white, pure light that swallowed everything. The pain was not only a part of her, it was inside of her, like something was tearing her apart. Ripping her mind away in slow, little pieces, but taking bigger parts with every taking. From somewhere far away she heard screaming like she never heard before, so full of agony, so full of pain and hurt that it could not have come from a human throat. It was coming.

She was the pain. The pain was hers. It was unbearable, she knew she was dying. Her heart was just about to stop beating. She had to die, this was beyond the reach of each human being. And then, suddenly.... it stopped. Like a candle that had been blown out. The white light disappeared, and she became aware of the world again.

Lews Therin!

She was lying on his bed, and he sat kneeled beside her, looking at her with a tired look on his face. She felt terribly weak, like a new born baby. Her whole body trembled, and it still echoed the immense agony it had gone through. Even her death had not been so painful.

"I can truly call you Mierin now," Lews Therin whispered. He almost smiled.

"What..." She coughed, almost choking in the breath she used for speaking. "What have you done to me?"

"You wanted you're soul back, didn't you? " He sighed, "Cour'souvra are guarded well, it wasn't easy to break the hold it had on your soul. I cannot say it is entirely yours now, but at least it is not his anymore.

"Whose is it?" She asked worridely. She will not be enslaved again!

"Mine." He looked bothered.

"What?!" She gasped, and tried to struggle herself up. Lews Therin pushed her back in the blankets again with an almost gentle gesture. "You have... what?"

He smiled entirely now, the laugh even touched his blue gray eyes. "I really know you well. Be eased, Mierin. I bonded you as my warder. I had to claim your soul from Moridin's Mind Trap, however, and that was the fight you felt. I am sorry it had to be fought in your body, but it was the only focus point I had."

"You bonded me as... your Warder?" She breathed, and she did not know whether she should be delighted or terribly angry.

"As your Warder?" Another voice echoed from behind them. Rand spun around, jumped off the bed and Cyndane - Should she call herself Mierin again? - managed to see who was standing there. It was Elayne again, and with her was a woman with dark curly hair. "You bonded her as your warder?" The dark girl said, astonished. Anger and surprise were visible on both women.

"You stubborn, foolish man! She is a Forsaken!" Elayne spat, stamping her feet on the floor with a strength that could have broken her ankle.

"For the time being," Lews Therin said coldly, "I have a debt to pay, and this is the only way I could think of to free her so she could help me pay it. And she belongs to the shadow no more, I have just severed her from all the ties she may have with the Shadow." Lews Therin stood erect, almost arrogantly smiling next to the bed.

"Did you?" Mierin - She was Mierin again! -asked, her voice still weak.

"I did. Don't be to eager, Mierin, I don't intend to keep your bond. I want Ilyena, then I will give it to someone else."

Mierin moaned and layed her arm over her eyes. She surely had ruined everything. Maybe I did not deserve that last chance. Maybe I should have just died. She thought depressed. But on the other hand, she was his warder. She was close to him. Perhaps there would be a chance again to make him hers.... Maybe he will be mine again. Perhaps there was a way she could convince him not to give someone else her bond.

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 12 January 1999]

[This was written with the aid of Leane Sedai]

Leane was awoken by a slight sound, perhaps a movement that jarred the bed she had to share with Tovienne and Halima. She opened her eyes just in time to see Logain disappearing through a Gateway, a small frown alighting on her rosy lips. "That man is going to work himself to death," she muttered under her breath. "Hardly a wink did he sleep since he Bonded Halima." She gave a small sigh and climbed out from under the covers, ignoring the urge to go back to sleep. It's almost daybreak anyway, and you have a work to do, if Logain agrees to it. The corners of her lips quirked into a smile. Whether he agrees to it or not, actually. As she reached the door, she tossed a glance at the two figures still huddled in sleep. I can't help wishing I had Logain to myself again. He doesn't dare show me too much attention in front of those two, the Light burn the man,he could tell him that he can't bind me to his will through the Bond and end this, no need to hide this.. I didn't agree to the Bond for nothing. She smiled again, affectionately, a touch of sadness hovering in her eyes, and reached for a towel and a robe before opening the door.

A gust of cold air met her skin, making her shiver a little, out of instinct. She couldn't feel the cold, but she was aware of it. She pulled on the robe hastily; a shift was not suitable for this weather, even if she was witless enough to walk in the open with nothing else on. Not that there was a single soul hundred miles from here. She wove flows of Air into a shield surrounding her, a simple weave to keep away the softly falling rain, then walked the short distance to the pool she had gone to yesterday, - was it only yesterday?- with Tovienne and Halima. As she pushed open the door of the bathhouse, she released the Shield around her and stepped quickly inside. It was dark; the early hours of the morning did naught to light the inside of the chamber. Saidar pulsed in her with life, channeling, a luminescent, faintly glowing ball of light appeared above the palm of her hand. She made it bigger, brighter, then fastened into on a wall, tying off the flows. To Toviene or any other woman that could touch saidar a glowing nimbus still surrounded her, the light of saidar, but she couldn't see it, of course. No more steam rose from the water, so she wove flows of Fire to heat it, carefully maintaining the weaves. Fire was dangerous to tie off, no matter how strong you were, at least for women, Fire was something men usualy were strong at. She poured a strong perfume into the water, savoring the scent of it and shrugged off her robe and shift, releasing the weave of Fire, unable to maintain it while she was swimming as her concentration would waver, and dived cleanly into the water, with barely a ripple. The pool was just deep enough in this side. Logain chose his hiding places wisely, or had he created this place?

The water caressed her skin sensuously, swirling around her as she moved, lifting her hair as she sank deeper into the water, allowing it to cover her mouth. There was a feeling of ... contentment from Logain, dimly felt, but pleasing to her. She wanted to see him, she realized, and smiled at her folly. Moving over to the shallows, she sat down on the base of the pool. She was tall enough so that the water only touched her chin when she sat down. Crossing her arms behind her head, she leaned back against the side, and closed her eyes, letting her thoughts drift ... until she found that they always returned to Logain. She chuckled, ruefully, feeling glad that the Bond only conveyed feelings and not thoughts as well. That would be embarrassing. She concentrated on the small part of her mind that was him, that was exclusively his. Coming closer, he returned - so soon? She wouldn't have been surprised if he had been gone for the whole day - and tired, as he always was of late. Her forehead creased into a frown, that was probably caused by the visit to al'Thor with Halima yesterday, and his trying to explain to Halima about the Bond. Why couldn't Halima leave him alone for a while? Doesn't she see how tired he is? I had better make sure he is rested before I leave for the Tower again. She had to admit that Halima's questions were... interesting, troubling, she had a mind to question Logain about it herself, but later! When he was in the right condition, not now. She was worried, worried about him. She pushed those troubled thoughts of him aside, to the back of her mind, and let her tense limbs relax, floating in her private thoughts.Logain would come here, she knew it as surely as she knew her own name.

... She had still been in Salidar that night. It was late, dusk had long settled over the land. A lone candle gave out a flickering light near her, illuminating the area around her bed. She was outlined in shadow against the canvas of the tent, lying on her front, propped up on an elbow, head bent in pursuit of a book, a rare pleasure, when a large, slightly roughened hand was laid on her shoulder. Nothing had alerted her to his presence, his footsteps had been utterly silent, she turned onto her side, her eyes travelling up and up and up... "Logain!" An explosion of breath. The last time she had talked to him, his face had been devoid of purpose, drained. Now, the emptiness was filled, his eyes glittered in the light and expression gave his features life. She shrank away from his hand, the warmth of it terrifying, but letting only uncertainty show on her face. He's come back here to take his vengeance. She thought with deadly certainty. On me and Siuan, and probably others too, the Light burn him. "What are you doing here, Logain?" Her voice was the slightest bit unsteady, but clear.

He had looked at her for a while, carefully keeping his eyes away from the thin silk shift she wore, focusing on her face. Silently, he reached out a hand for her to pull her up into a sitting position. He sat on the edge of the foot of her bed, not looking at her. A bit of red stained his cheeks, she thought, or was it the light? Clearing his throat, he spoke, "I came here to... pay a debt, Leane." Despite herself, she goggled at him, but quickly rearranged her features to their cool sereneness of a few moments before. He hadn't noticed.

"Me?" More surprise than she would've liked mingled in her voice, it was almost a squeak! Light! Get a grip, woman. She told herself sternly. "Me?" She said again - it still didn't sound right - in a more normal tone. Relief coursed through her. He had not come for revenge, as she had earlier thought.

"Um, yes. Sort of," Logain raked a hand through his hair, he still hadn't quite looked at her, "To thank you. I didn't mean to startle you by appearing in your tent like that. But I couldn't very well walk in, the camp would have been awakened in a few minutes. It wouldn't be... pleasant," He stumbled over his own words, making her feel a bit better. He was just as flustered as she was, though for a different reason.

"Siuan was the one who took you from the Tower, and it was Nynaeve was the one that Healed you. Why do you thank me?" Her cool, self-possession was back, her voice decidingly neutral. It seemed to spur him to match her coolness.

Logain laughed shortly, for a moment, he looked truly amused, "Siuan took me from the Tower for a reason, to serve her own ends." He told her coolly. "Nynaeve used me to practice on, not because she pitied me, she despised me, her pride was pricked because she could not Heal those that have been Stilled. She always wanted to be able to Heal everything. Beside, I have already paid my debt to Siuan, telling everyone the Reds made me claim that I was the Dragon Reborn. And my debt to Nynaeve will be paid, but you ... even when you were stilled, you've sense of purpose was there. And you helped me through gentling. Even if you never knew it, in those last few days, before we reached Salidar, it was you who gave me te strength to carry on just the little bit that was needed, you were the one who kept me alive, who pulled me through. And it was never for anything else but to help me live through it." At the beginning of the speech, his voice had been hard, emotionless, but towards the end, he had bared his heart, and a hint of tears actually sounded in his voice.

She could only stare at him, her cool facade beginning to crumble. Her voice shook when she spoke, "I am the one who ought to thank you, Logain. You were the one that pulled me through. You were at the point of death, and yet you came back. You showed me that I could live without the Power, without that, I would have give up long before Nynaeve had a chance to ply her skills. You showed me... what strength means. What it means to be a survivor." She finished, almost sadly. She realize now that this was the first time she ever talked about the time she was stilled with anyone. The absence of saidar, the lack of life was the nightmare every Aes Sedai feared from, and Logain had survived it, somehow. "A man of honor is rarely found. And it's even rarer to find a man of such strength." After that speech, a comfortable silence fell over them. He gave a start to her words, he had not noticed it, but somehow, during their talk, she had inched closer to him, bit by bit, until she was sitting curled up by his side. Or maybe not so surprising, since he had not dared to look at her, garbed as she was.

He was certainly lecherous, she had seen him looking at women, only looking, but it was enough. More than enough, idly, she wondered how he could make a woman so aware of herself just by looking at her. Aware of him, too. It took her much more effort to do the same with men. Yet she had never seen him like he was now with a woman, never. "Tell me about the Black Tower, Logain." Her voice was sudden in that silence, chiming softly in the emptiness. "I have always wondered, what it is like. Is it alike to the White Tower?"

Emotions passed across his face, surprise, maybe a touch of anger? "How did you know I was with the Asha'man, Leane?" He asked, almost roughly.

The corners of her lips quirked up. Did he think her blind? "Where else? You have nowhere else to be, and you hadn't bothered to change, what can a man garbed all in black mean except for a man that can Channel? Beside, I have eyes and ears even in your Black Tower." She added decisively, it was almost a lie, almost. She had tried to convince someone in the Black Tower to report to her, but it was so frustrating she wanted to scream. She had tried simply everything, everything! There seemed to be no servants in the Black Tower, and those who were in the Black Tower save the Asha'man were usually tied to an Asha'man. Wives or lovers, she was stunned to hear that they let children live there too. All in all, it was very frustrating, servants talked, and they could be bought. But there was not a single servant in the Black Tower, the Black Tower held it's secrets well.

He expressed surprise, and to her shock, she understood she had said all this aloud. Relaxing visibly after her explanation, he told her about the Black Tower, their way of training, everything. Whenever he hesitated, she claimed she didn't want him to betray the Black Tower's secrets, and he would continue. He stopped several of times, refusing to answer the more innocent questions, although he answered her in details about others. Giving her precious knowledge. Egwene would be thrilled to learn that there were less than fifty Asha'man, the rest were still studying the One Power. If needed, the Black Tower could be beaten.

They talked of many other topics, through the night, and gray dawn was near when she mentioned Bonding. She asked him to be her Warder, with her heart racing to beat horses. The man gave a visible start at that. He looked at her sideways, considering, then shook his head. "It could never be, Leane." She didn't even know why she had brought the topic up, but she knew it was no jest.

When the sun came peeping over the horizon, she had dissapeared, leaving behind two notes, one for Egwene, and the other, Siuan. Warded, the notes could only be read by them, anyone else save those two would have a rather unpleasant shock. She and Logain left to the hut in Altara that he, Halima and Tovienne were in at this moment. Where she had seduced him, literally. "I have always found you attractive, Logain, you should know that. Even in the White Tower." She told him one day, it wasn't a lie. It was a day later before he had returned to the Black Tower, and she along with him, his Warder, bonded to him. Taim, The M'Hael as the Asha'man called him, was displeased about the whole affair, at best. But done was done, and Logain had refused to even chance breaking the Bond. It wasn't the one he had used to bond Halima, or Toviene, she wasn't forced to obey him, as the two other women were, but in some manners, it was just as different from the bond she knew as the one that altered to compel obedience. It was a dream that she had lived in, only for a week.

Then, she had surfaced to reality again, and had told Logain that she needed to return to the Salidar Aes Sedai camp once more. Alone, this journey, and there she had stayed, for another two months. The army was in Tar Valon, they had won the city. She had told everything to Egwene, after making her promise she would do nothing to Logain, or try to stop her. "Tell them! You are the Amyrlin Seat. Say you dispatched me to analyze worldly affairs. It will not be entirely a lie, I will send pigeons to you, from my eyesand ears. But I will stay with Logain. If you need me, at the Battle, I will be there, if sooner, send a courier, yourself, Siuan ... I do not abandon you, but I cannot abandon him either. I agreed to the Bond. I love him, Egwene, like you love Gawyn." Egwene refused her, logically, Leane had to admit the woman was right. But she didn't like it, and then he suddenly appeared in the middle of the White Tower, his face like a winter storm and, giving no reasons, took her away. And so she had returned once again to the Black Tower, to discover Tovienne Gazal also Bonded to him. That Halima was one of the Forsaken. "What do you think I am?" She had demanded bitterly. "Another toy? Will you also tell me you have ..." She choked on the words, "... taken her to ... to... A Red, Logain! One of Elaida's followers! And that is not to mention Halima, a Red wasn't enough for you, so you had choosen to Bond one of the Forsaken. Egwene was right! I should never have left the Tower for you." She could not regret it, a part of the Bond, her words were half-hearted, but the feeling was there, however small, of hurt, betrayal. For once, all sereneness, pretense at self-possession was gone, replaced by fury."Have you tired of a Domani? Now you need an uptight, weak-willed woman whom you can dominate, is that it?" She knew Tovienne was not at all weak-willed, but tears had come into her eyes, and she made herself angry to hide them, "And how can you even begin to explain bonding Halima?" finally turning away, unwilling to let him see her crying.

She could feel him, next to her, trying to explain. "It has nothing to do with us, Leane." He had insisted, trying to soothe her, wrapping arms around her, but she was angry, stiff and unyielding. "I love you. I would never do anything like that to hurt you. I Bonded them because I'd to, the Bond will force them to do whatever I say, and it is nothing like what is between us. As you said, a Red, a Darkfriend. I could not love a Red, they are the ones who ... gentled me. And it was the Dark One who tainted saidin. Or did you forget this too?" Soothed, for a time at least, she gave in, saying nothing, letting him cradle her in his arms. "But it is best if they did not know that I Bonded you differently, best if they wouldn't know there is another way." he added. She was so tired, that she let it go, instead of arguing.

True to his word, it was not like what had been between her and him, but it was also the end of letting their feelings for one another show. He did not act any differently to her in front of Tovienne and Halima, even when theywas nearby. Occasionally, they went to the hut in Altara, or somewhere far away, until all he could feel from his other two Warders was only the dim awareness of their locations. Then, and only then, did let any emotion show, not that it happened often, and it had taken yesterday's conversation to understand why. Perhaps he was afraid, afraid that the other two would find out, and he would not have any peace, perhaps. She had all but forgotten that night of anger, letting it drown in the depths of her mind, suffocated by their love.

Tovienne and Halima loved him as she did. He loved them too, after a fashion, but it was something that was created by the Bond, with her, it had been there long before. He seem very puzzled when he hadn't found that she and Tovienne and Halima weren't at each other's throat. "Why, you treat them with more warmth than you do me, I thought you would be angry at them being Bonded to me." He sounded so disgruntled that she had come very close to laughing.

"I am angry at you Bonding Toveine, she never agreed to be Bonded, she had nothing to do with it. And she is a Sister, even if she wasn't Aes Sedai, she is a woman, that is enough to make me side with her instead of you men who tangle up a woman's wits, then do exactly what you've done. Halima... is another matter." He hadn't bother to ask further.

The realization was sudden and shocked her out off her thoughts; Logain was close, very close. She opened her eyes to see him push open the door. A smile played about her lips. The light she had made went out, she hadn't bothered to tie it strongly. He knew she was there, but he couldn't see her, she realized. "Leane?" He called softly. Careful not to make any noise, she slid under the surface, moving towards where he stood, at the side. Surfacing, she grabbed hold of his legs, he looked down, realizing she was there, a split second too late before she pulled him into the water. "Still tired?" Her voice rang out, mocking. He stood up, spluttering, drenched. "What was that for!?!" He frowned at her, then hastily pulled his eyes away. He had the strangest ideas about modesty.

"For loving all three of us, for acting like the worse lecher I've ever met. For being the most wool headed man I've ever met. For acting like al'Thor and..." She replied unconcernedly, his glare sliding past her.

He raised a hand, tiredly. "Not now, Leane, I don't feel like arguing with you."

"Who said a word about arguing?" Her voice turned sultry, suddenly, throaty."It was also because you told me I needed a bath, yesterday." She affected a sniff, and scolded him in a mock-angry voice. "That was not polite, you know. Sometimes I think you will never learn manners." She shook a finger at him, climbing out of the pool. "Oh, by the way, the water is lavender-scented, you'd better get out. Or else you will smell like a flower field all day long." He stared at her, ignoring her nakedness, and scrambled out. "Lavender-scented! Blood and ashes! The Asha'man are going to... " That worked pretty well, she thought. He didn't feel troubled anymore, rather, scandalized, probably over the scent, and amused. Putting on her robe, she used a flick of the Power to dry his clothes out, squeezing them dry. Water ran in rivulets down his face to pool at his feet. She flashed a wry grin at the image he presented, damp clothes, wet hair, and smelling strongly of lavender. "There, I thought you needed a dunking to untangle your wits. If you fall dead from exhaustion, I will dig your grave myself, after killing you a second time. You'd better have a proper night sleep tonight, not exhaust yourself and expect us to tend to you. You shouldn't act like a ten year old boy, sulking over being sent to bed." Hestared at her; she was amused to no end!

"Women!" That was all he seemed able to say.

"As I said, studying women is all a man can do sometimes." She sighed languidly, and stretched, then kissed him as thoroughly as he had ever been kissed before. Shaking his head, he sat down on the edge of the pool.

"You almost made me forget what I came to find you for. I'm going to cleanse saidin with the Lord Dragon and Nynaeve tomorrow. I'm moving you, this place isn't going to be safe for long."

She sprang up. Her eyes so wide that she must have resembled an owl. "What!? What do you mean?"

"Saidin is going to be cleansed." He replied patiently, too patiently.

"I heard you, Logain Ablar. Why are you attempting such a foolhardy thing? Elayne told me this was how Rand al'Thor acted, you are catching his hard-headedness from being around him so much." She said, certainty showing in her voice. "You could get yourself killed." Seeing that talking would not convince him, she tried to cajole him out of it.

"What must be done, will be done. I follow the Dragon Reborn." He said quickly, and she signed heavily, he would walk bare in a blizzard and claim he was sweating in this mood! He was determined, she could feel it. Nothing was going to persuade him otherwise.

She sighed. "I don't know who's the bigger fool, him for going, you for following, or me for not leaving you both. Come, let us go back to Tovienne and Halima. We can talk about it there." And get Tovienne to help me talk some sense into him, hopefully. Too much to hope for Halima's help. She stood behind him as he wove a Gateway, then followed him through it to the hut. Halima and Toviene were already dressed, suprisingly, there was a bowl with water near the bed, it wasn't there when she was awake. She supressed a guilty stab quickly, she had a luxury bath, while the two women had to suffice with a quick wash. But on the other hand, they had lazed around for half the morning! Both women sat on the bed and glared at Logain, hard. "You don't need to follow me, Leane. You don't even need to be nearby. I am sending you, Halima and Tovienne to Andor." She whirled around, sparks in her eyes. "You are sending me nowhere. I am going with you when you attempt this... effort. I was strong before I was stilled, and I still have skill if not strength, not to mention this ..." She pulled out a belt buckle from the pouch on her bed, and his eyes widen as he laid his eyes on it. Halima gasped in surprise, and took a step forward. "And those... and this." She touched the rings in her ears, and the necklace snugged around her throat. "Angreals, this one for you." She held out the belt-buckle. Toviene looked eagerly at the necklace, Leane did mean to share one of the angreals but not quite yet, only when they had need of it.

"Whether you like it or not, I am opening a Gateway right now for you and Tovienne. I think my Lord Dragon wants Halima there, but he shall have to wait until after the cleansing." He said, addressing the other two women in the room as well, Halima was bloodless pale, but she nodded, weakly. She said nothing, al'Thor truly frightened her. As he reached for the buckle, she tossed the belt-buckle back into her pouch, quick as a flash. "The angreal, please?" He reached out a hand for it.

Tovienne leaped up from the bed, words already tumbling from her lips, her face angry. "If you are sending us anywhere," she said, silently signaling to Tovienne, they had planned this, though not quite in this way, not for this occasion, playing along, "Then it should be Kandor. I had a very troubling report from my eyes-and-ears there, when you dragged me here to meet Halima. Tovienne and Halima can help me." Tovienne to gather those who admire Aes Sedai, are loyal to them. It should be easy for her to impress them. Halima, those that are easily bought and she can use her considerable powers of persuasion as well. The most loyal ones, I shall have to attend to. Those that have been saved from some catastrophe, perhaps. She didn't want to admit even to herself that Halima would probably use Darkfriends as spies. Maybe she could convince Halima to kill the ones she will find. He nodded, and a Gateway opened in a corner. "Go in." He ordered, in a tone that brooked no opposition. Tovienne and Halima had to obey, but she stood her ground. "Are you forgetting something, Logain?" Her voice was dangerously soft. Tovienne and Halima were already on the other side, looking through.

"I don't think so, what?" His brow creased. "They know what to do, right? I have already told them to help you in whatever you tell them to do." She nodded. "Tovienne knows what to do. Tell Halima to listen to her. Just do what I ask, for once in your life." Nodding, and sending hard glares in her direction, he put his head into the Gateway, and told the listening two something she couldn't quite hear. "Alright. Anything else I might have forgotten? They already have money. The angreal?" The man needed a good spanking! "Yes." Raising a finely arched brow at him, she put her hands on her hips. " You can't order me around, the Bond to me doesn't work that way, remember? I don't have to do what you say." She said loudly, for the benefit of his two other Warders. They gasped, and made to walk back through, anger writ plain on their faces. She smiled. Logain groaned. The Gateway closed within a hairsbreath of their faces as they ran back through.

Good, the fool man deserved all the trouble he would get, and judging by the expression on Toviene's face, he would have all the trouble he could handle. Halima looked puzzled as well as angry, and as the Gateway closed, she heard the woman ask Tovienne, "Does he smell of flowers?"

"I thought we agreed that we wouldn't tell them?!" He whirled around, cape swirling, his expression half-angered, half-exasperated. "I have enough troubles as it is... I thought you promised me..."

"I broke my promise. It's as simple as that." She crossed her arms beneath her breasts. She didn't understand why the fool man looked so wounded, and why she felt so guilty on seeing that. When it came to men, women just naturally lacked the sense to pour water out of a boot.

"Why? Is it because of Tovienne and Halima ?"

"You have hit the nail on the head, my good man," she said with false gaiety, fingers unconsciously pulling the folds of her barely opaque red silk dress tight around her. "Don't even think for one moment that I blame them either. You were disloyal! After the vows and protestations of love, the very moment I turn my back you go chasing after other women, who didn't seem to relish the thought of this intimacy with you either! You, you, you ... I can't think of a word bad enough, you mule-brained lecher!"

He rose an eyebrow, "You forget one thing, Leane Sharif." Logain said sharply, "With Toviene and Halima both, I had no choice." Halima laughed to this, bitterly. He tilted his head and looked at her sharply, "Are you jealous?" With a few strides he had crossed the floor and folded her in his arms. He looked absurdly pleased!

"Don't even think of it!" She stamped her foot. Actually stamped it! Shegroaned inwardly at the thought of how far she had fallen since the days when she had held the position of Keeper of the Chronicles. She hadn't done such things in years! She pounded his chest with both fists, ineffectually, of course. It was so unfair that the Creator had made men so much larger physically than women. Wouldn't she have loved to give him a black eye! Well, that wasn't true. She would have given herself a black eye first rather than injure him. It disgruntled her somewhat. But she wanted to know that she could, even if she would never do this.

"You are jealous!" the incorrigible man chuckled, and kissed her till she was breathless.

"Do you think we should leave them alone? Give them some privacy?" Toviene's acid whisper could be heard in the other side of the world.

"Privacy?" Halima chuckled, "Considerring that Logain is in the back ofour heads, it would be hard for them to get any privacy whatsoever."

Leane ignored them, but she could see Logain's cheeks reddening. "You're not going to get off this easy," she warned him when she could speak properly again. The light in his eye when he looked at her said otherwise, and he was probably right. The mere pressure of his hands on her waist was making her knees knock together. "Have youever considered what the consequences of your volunteering to cleanse saidin will be?"

That stopped him for a moment. "If we succeed, it means that we will have given birth to the Age of Legends all over again! Imagine what wonders male and female Aes Sedai working together could acheive! We will have a much better chance of defeating the Dark One in Tarmon Gai'don and the Black and White Towers will be able to do everything together! And that is if you want to ignore the little matter of me not going mad, or the taste of saidin without the taint." There was a light in his eyes that made her smile, he often looked at her that way. She could feel his excitement. "If we fail...well, I am willing to risk it. Better dying quickly than rotting." Then his eyes darkened. "Do we have to talk about this now? I can think of several more pleasant ways to pass the time."

"I do not doubt it," Halima muttered, "Why do I feel suddenly feel unwanted?" This time, Leane doubted Logain even heard his warder.

She shook her head sadly. "You really have not thought of it at all, have you? Well, not that I can blame you, you have never gone through the torment that every Aes Sedai has at one time or another. Or maybe you don't even know. If... something happen to you, in the efforts of cleansing saidin or just from not being careful, we will die too. All three of us. Even if we survive the initial shock, we will be walking corpses waiting to lie down and die."

Expressions ran across the crags of his face like waves whipped by wind and his arms dropped to his side. For one moment she was terribly, achingly sorry that he no longer held her, but then the moment passed and she turned away with a small, bittersweet laugh. "I've not thought about it." He muttered, and then his eyes met hers, and slid to Toveine and Halima. "Get some rest tonight. You need your sleep for the big day tomorrow." He said quietly, "As you said, I will need to be careful. And at the moment, I think I will fall off my feet if I will not have some sleep." Yawning, he threw himself on the bed, clothed. He was asleep in less then a minute. Leane stared at him, at least she prevent him from sending her away. Halima had a small grin on her face.

"I must learn how Domani women do it," She said, "if this is their affect of men, I could find some use for the knowledge." Toviene didn't stop laughing even when Leane threw a pillow at her and stormed outside.

She was up by cockcrow the next morning. Sometime during the night Logain had rolled over on his stomach and buried his face in the pillows, pinning down the blankets with his arm, trapping her under the blanket. She had had to Channel to lift his arm off. This added inconvenience had not improved her bleak mood.

Red silk was out of the question. What she felt like wearing was a suit of armor. Instead, she pulled on a high-necked, fur-ruffed gown of fine gray wool. The water in the pitcher was cold enough to make her gasp and shiver. Nynaeve and Elayne had done their work well with the Bowl of the Winds. What she wouldn't give to have that for study now...but some heat would be welcome now. Maybe they did their work just a bit too well.

Logain jerked her out of her thoughts as he greeted her perfunctorily and began washing. No quips, no smiles. Despite his bravado, she felt his tenseness, saw the tightness around his eyes. It was the day of life or death. He did not even thank her when she smoothed his high-collared coat,   pinning the dragon and the sword to his collar, fastening the angreal buckle onto his belt, but when the time came to go, he put his arm around her and held her tightly, as if glad of her presence. Halima and Toviene watched all this with expressionless faces. But Logain still muttered something to them when he weaved the gateway. Whatever it was, it made Halima blush and Toviene laugh. Logain threw his arms in the air. "Women!" The word sound like a curse.

When the Gateway opened into the subterranean-looking caverns and passages carved out of the solid rock of Dragonmount, she saw that there were two black-coated men awaiting them already. Boys, really, both young, smooth-cheeked and still without their mature bulk. They saluted Logain fist to heart as they stepped through the Gateway, and nodded curtly to her, though their eyes followed her with curiosity hidden behind the wariness. Since Logain's bonding of her and the others, the Asha'man had begun talking among themselves, and many looked with favor on the novel idea of bonding more than one woman,despite the M'Hael's objections, though most for the wrong reasons. These were no Asha'man though. Both were merely Dedicated. As far as she knew, there were only men who could channel here. For some reason, Rand did not seem to trust the vast majority of his own men, preferring that most of them wouldn't even know where he was hiding.

The walls and the roof were smooth-hewn, as if to remind anyone travelling through the passages of the Power that had been used to create them. Torches burnt in conces set in the walls, but other than that the corridors were mainly bare.

The great cavern they were led into was better furnished. Fine carpets and rugs of Kandori and Aiel make lay on the floors, and furniture of mixed styles stood about, the tables and many of the chairs groaning under the weight of large books, rolled maps and scrolls, from Cairhein, Andor and the Stone of Tear. There were hangings on the walls as well, and there was something about the place that suggested a feminine touch. No doubt Min's work. She wondered how Elmindreda Farshaw handled the Dragon Reborn. Despite denying it wholeheartedly, Min was much alike her name sake. A pang of pain came with rememberring the young woman. Her situation was by far too much like that of Min's.

Those thoughts had soon flown into the fireplace and up the chimney, for there were people in the room. A few more black-coated men ... and the Dragon Reborn himself. With Min on one side clad in very fitting rose-colored breeches and coat, and a fiercely lovely flame-haired girl in blue on the other. Aviendha, she thought, she had met the Aiel woman for a short time only. Was the Dragon Reborn trying to establish himself a harem? Was Logain, too? Logain must have sensed her rising anger and humiliation, for he turned to look at her, his eyes puzzled. She ignored him coldly.

Then the icy blue eyes of the man the world called the Dragon Reborn slashed to her. She returned his gaze with equal coolness and full serenity, but her stomach turned. She could see nothing of the Rand al'Thor she had known in this ruthlessly hard leader. Noneof the still-gawky young lion who had stalked in to seek audience with Siuan that day, wearing the gait, sword and manners of a gaidin in a touching show of bravado. That young man had hit a soft spot in her, but the man who faced her now made her want to turn away.

"Why have you brought them?" His voice was not much changed ... save for its lack of warmth. "We said nothing of it. I told you to bring Aran'gar, not the entire bloody White Tower." Just another sign of how low in his contempt Aes Sedai were now. Elayne had heard of what he had done, they met briefly when Rand had talked with Logain and Halima. Making sisters swear to him, Aes Sedai toiling in the broiling sun under Aiel guard, being whipped... She held herself ramrod-straight so as not to shudder. "They don't belong here, certainly not now, they are Aes Sedai for the love of the Light! What were you thinking?!" She almost winced from the sound of the whipcrack in his voice as it bounced off the rock walls. Aviendha laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, one hand fingering her belt-knife thoughtfully, but Min stared at her with unreadable eyes. She wondered uneasily what signs the girl saw around her this time. Signs of death?

Logain took a breath, to answer, but then Min touched Rand's sleeve. Bending close to his ear, she spoke to him for a few moments, and he listened, the silence was as thick as smoke over a bonfire. Rand settled back as Min straightened, his eyes boring into her. Logain clutched her tighter, protectively she knew, his brow creased in a frown. "They are my Warders." That was all the explanation Logain offered. Halima looked like a rabbit it the fox's mouth. Toveine eyed the man carefully. She had both hands pressed to her stomach.

"They may stay, then." It seemed the words took an eternity to fan themselvesout in the air. "They may stay and..." As his words petered off the Dragon Reborn seemed to frown, cocking his head as his eyes stared at her. There was a soft, persistent sound in the air, just too low for her to make out ... then she realized that Rand was humming, rubbing the lobe of one ear with his thumb as he looked distractedly at her. Was the man going mad already, just before cleansing saidin?! The Light forbid!

The humming snapped off abruptly as he straightened. "They might be of some use, Logain," his voice was weighted with irony, "And so will you." His eyes turned to Halima, her face was bloodless, "I think I have something you will enjoy doing, Aran'gar." Her fingers had clenched at the beginning of his sentence, but now she watched him with narrowed eyes. She licked her lips nervously. "Most Aes Sedai hold a networks of spies, Logain. And your Warder here," he pointed with one hand at Halima, "is an expert in spying. And Leane.. Leane Sharif," He turned to her. "I know that you are well practised in espionage, plotting, politics and every dirty trick the world has ever managed to create, so your talents should be put to good use."Her eyes narrowed, she already had a intricate, far-reaching network of spies throughout the known world, but all this was secret!

" I want to know everything that happens in the world, Logain Albar. And you are going to run a network of eyes-and-ears for me."

Logain looked at him wide eyes, "I know nothing about..." He began to protest.

"You can learn, and you have Aran'gar, just in case your Aes Sedai don't have at least some eyes-and-ears. She equaled Moghedien in this area, in the War of Power."

"I have a network, My Lord Dragon." Leane said, carefully, she didn't want to anger the man. "I can give you the reports they send me, but you will have to agree that I will give the report to..." she fell silent suddenly, not knowing how to continue. Fire blazed in his eyes. Logain took half a step forward, placing himself between her and the Dragon Reborn. She looked at Min and Aviendha through narrowed eyes. His weak points. A little leverage, perhaps, for the Tower.

Rand's words were delivered in a frozen tone, his eyes were ice. "I want you to run a network of spies, or eyes and ears as you call them, for me. Loyal only to me, the Dragon Reborn." She looked at him silently, considering.

"Logain, do you mind?" She touched his hand, pushing him a little away, so she could look at the other man. The anger was gone, the interruption was carefully planned. Rand was humming again, rubbing the lobe of one ear, watching her. Logain looked at her, and shook his head. She tightened the pressure of her hand.
"I already have a network of spies, as you call them." Throughout the known world, intricate, and carefully planned and guarded. She interjected scorn into the word, her face as serene as ever, the glassy surface of a pool, no matter what ripples or currents disturbed the deeper waters. ". . . who relay information to me on a regular basis, throughout the known world, except for the Aiel, but you don't need eyes and ears there, do you? And none of the Seanchan. But, they are loyal to me only, and you will have to be satisfied with that."

"But who does your loyalty stand to?" His voice was hard. "If I cannot trust you, why should I trust a network of eyes and ears loyal to you?" He looked at Logain, and something passed between them. Logain nodded to him, relieved! He had no reason to be.

She smiled. "Even if I were willing, I could not make them loyal to you. And the question of my loyalty? I know the Prophecies; I know what your destiny is. Perhaps you should question the loyalty of your Asha'man instead, I've heard about the hunting that goes now. Asha'man hunting Asha'man throughout the world. You will simply have to trust me."

"How do I know what you speak is true?" He demanded, face tightening. "The Three Oaths." She mentally thanked the fact that she was no longer bound to the Three Oaths, it made things so much easier. "The truth an Aes Sedai speaks is not always the truth you hear," he quoted and smiled, "And here is proof of it.You've been stilled, and the Oaths are fastened to the ability to Channel. You were freed from them the moment you lost touch with the Power." Shock heated her, how could he know? She could see, from the side of her eyes, Toviene straightening her back, her face aghast. There would be explanations to be done there.

"Her loyality lies with me, My Lord Dragon." Logain said, as if they talked about a cup of tea, "I trust you don't doubt my loyality."

Rand turned to Logain, his eyes warm for the first time, slightly warm. "I trust you, Logain. The Light alone know why, considering what you've done. Make sure never to betray my trust." Logain nodded curtly. But there was a small smile on his lips he tried to hide. "Good." Rand tapped a finger on his chin thoughtfully, eyes fastened on the buckle she had given to Logain. "An angreal. I can feel the ... echo." He raised his eyes to Logain's face. "What are you doing with an angreal?"

Logain opened his mouth to answer, but she cut in. "It is mine."

"Yours?" She almost flinched at the wintry coldness of his voice, but her expression showed nothing more than cool self-possession. "What would you do with an angreal attuned to men?"

She ground her teeth. "I brought it to give to him, not you. You probably have more hidden away somewhere, not to mention Callandor, you don't need his. Isn't Callandor strong enough for you?"

"Callandor is too strong," He murmured, as if thinking aloud, "I need something weaker, not stronger." His eyes sharpened suddenly, she felt like he could read her mind. "And where would you have obtained such a thing? The Tower? I don't think so; the Amyrlin would no sooner gift you an angreal attuned to men to give him, than she would marry the Lord Captain Commander of the Whitecloaks."

"Many things of the Power have been scattered, some are not known for what they are. I bought this, and this," She touched the silver hammered snowflake at her ear, he would have known soon anyway, with the girl Aviendha here. "From a thief in Tear,the angreal belonged to Stonebow, so he claimed, and was stored in Tear. He claimed that he stole it from the Stone. I always thought he lied, appearantly he didn't."

He studied her for a while. "He may keep it, then." She smiled to herself, a smile of triumph. Too soon, he gave a tight-lipped smile. "Very well then, Leane Sedai." A wealth of mocking was infused in the title. "Logain, you had better take advantage of some other... talents of your Warder. Aran'gar is extremely good as a spy. I didn't joke about wanting to know everything, you have Leane's network to start with, but you are going to widen it considerably. And fast! I expect to hear reports made, one every other day." His voice was stony hard, "Don't fail me, Logain Ablar."

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 14 December 1998]

Aran'gar paced the borders of her prison for the Great Lord alone know how long. A small room, made of wood, with a single bed and a door that had no lock.

She had never faced such prison before, for the tenth time, she walked to the door and open it. Outside, there was freedom. She couldn't make herself walk through the door. She had no desire to do so.

It was very annoying. Not even a Mindtrap could imprison a person as well as this Logain had imprisoned her. You could always choose death, no matter how good you were imprisoned. But the thought flashed in her head for instance only before she denied it. She could think about killing herself, all she could do it think about, she wasn't used to be stopped in such a way. Nothing ever stopped her half as well as this cursed weave did. She pictured the weave in her mind again, going through every last possible result. Not the first time she had done so, she was sure it wouldn't be the last time she would do so. Again, she found no way to escape. There was just too many possibilities, it may take days for her to understand all of it. She wondered idly if Logain understood it completely.

It was the best trap she had ever encounter. Bonding, that was how Logain had called it, but it went far deeper than it was with a bond made by saidar, as far as she understood it. She would do, happily, everything she would be commanded to do by Logain. She couldn't harm Logain, she would give her life for him , if needed. Shadow consume her soul, she would give the man her life, knowing it was the bond helped not a bit. The only comfort she had so far was so small it didn't even count. Trust, the bond had force loyalty into her, there was no dog more loyal then her in the world. But it forced Logain's thinking too, she suspected, he would trust her with his life, or more. A cold part of her mind whispered her that he must had a good reason for it. She pushed it back, hard. There must be a way out, and she will find it.

In the back of her head, she could feel Logain, feel him as closely as she felt her own body. It was very disturbing all together. Since the time she felt the gateway being opened in the Amiralyn study, while she was busy tying the girl, Egwene, even more strongly to her, nothing seemed to be going fine. Logain was as strong as she was in the power, something she certainly didn't expect to find. Nor that strange method of forcing her to obey to his will. At least he hadn't taken advantage of it, save one kiss. Yet. She was afraid of what he might do when he will decide to take the advantage. The bond force her to trust him, forced her mind to a certain pattern. She couldn't lie to him, or even give him a false image of what she was saying. Hiding things was allowed, as long as she hadn't been asked directly about it. She shivered, not stopping to pace, hugging herself tightly.

She didn't want to think about it. So many impossibilities. A simple order left saidin as far from her as the moon. She could feel the light of it just behind her shoulder. But couldn't make herself touch it. Since the first time she touched saidin the urge to draw it was constant. Now, she thought she might even survive being severed, she had no desire to touch the source. Another impossibility. Logain came closer, she could feel him coming to her, he was troubled. And she hate herself for being concerned about him, about wanting to know the reason for this, to smooth his worries. Another affect of the bond, but it was as real as if it was truly her own emotion. The bond changed her very being. And there was no bloody thing she could do about it. She wished she had something to drink beside water. Maybe it was all a nightmare, maybe. Aran'gar continued pacing the length of the room, twelve feet from one end to another, pacing endlessly, waiting excitingly for the man who caged her. She refused to admit it even to herself, but she wanted to see him. She began to curse, she wanted to cry.

Logain came closer, barely ten miles away. It took another two heartbeats before a dark slash opened in the air just outside the door. A hole into a darkness that seemed to swallow every shred of light. Two women walked through the gateway, one of them she recognized, Leane. Clad in one of the Domani's dress the woman seemed to be so fond of in green and blue. The other woman she hadn't recognized, ageless face of an Aes Sedai and hard eyes. The woman could have been pretty, had she had a spark of warmth in her. Logain followed them, the gateway winked out.

"Halima," Logain said, he was stony determined now. He had made his mind about her, "This is Leane, and Toviene." He gesture at each woman in her turn. "Leane, Toviene, this is Halima," The man held saidin to the point the sense of life became meaningless, where only the struggle against saidin was important, where a mistake would cost you your life. Dancing was always sweater on the edge of the sword, and touching saidin, was always like walking on the razor edge. "My new warder." Leane gape at him, and then at her.

The frost on Toviene's eyes melt away when her look touched Logain. "Are you going to bond every woman you lie your eyes on?"

"I doubt it," Aran'gar said dryly, "I also doubt that he likes to have me bonded to him any more than I like being bonded to him." Logain simply stared at her, she didn't care, he could hurt her no more than she could hurt him. That was also something that was forced by the bond. "I belong to the Shadow, Toviene. Few are deeper in the Shadow than I am. I'm one of the Forsaken." She said the last coldly. Anywhere in the world, her words would have brought her death. Logain was the only one she could say such thing to that she knew she was completely safe with.

Her skin prickled, one of the women or both was holding saidar. "Enough! All of you!" Logain barked angrily. "Leane, Toviene release the source! You have nothing to be afraid of Halima!" He crossed the space between them, face twisted in rage. He was burning fury inside. He caught her with one hand under her chin. Hard enough to make her wince, she had no need to hide anything from Logain. And it was useless beside.

"What are you planning to do, Logain Albar?" She asked him, she wasn't afraid, she couldn't be, of him. "Kill me? You can grow wings as much as harm me." For a long moment, he stared at her. Angry enough to kill her, without the bond, she would have died in an instant. With a curse, he pushed her away. Sending her flailing until she hit the wall, it took her a moment or two to arrange her breath again.

Logain was seating on the bed, his head between his hands. "Come!" He ordered, she had no choice but to obey. At the same time, Leane and Toviene came close. "What am I going to do with you, Halima?" Logain asked, he was no longer angry, only the calmness of k'doi, the emotionless quality of a man touching the True Source. She began to answer before realizing he hadn't directed the question to her, he asked himself the question. Apparently finding no answer. "You're my warder, Halima. And a woman that can channel saidin. Not to mention being a darkfriend for sure, and claiming to be one of the Forsakens. What am I going to do with you?"

"Release me from the bond." Aran'gar replied. She very much doubted if he would, but she needed to know if this was even possible.

Logain snort in contempt, "Don't try to play the fool, Halima. I wouldn't even if this could have been done."

"It's forever?" She whispered, forever being bound to that man. Forever being caged. No way out. The next thing that she was aware of was lying in the bed, Logain holding her hand and feeling concerned a worried. Leane sat next to him. He was arguing with Toviene.

"...must be dealt with, Logain. You have no other choice, she is a darkfriend! The Light burn your soul." Toviene was quivering with fury.

"Take your knife and kill her then." Logain said, his voice hard, his eyes dark storm. "See if you can do more than drawing it. No even an order from me would change it. Neither one of us can harm the other, not the slightest. You should know this by now."

Burn her soul, that was not what she needed to hear. "Logain," She said weakly, he squeeze her hand tightly. "I agree with Toviene. The Light can burn your soul." For some reason, it made him laugh.

"Who are you?" Leane asked, "What where you doing in Salidar?" She shivered suddenly. "You were the one that released Moghedien!"

"My name is Aran'gar." She answered, "and I was." Logain closed his eyes shut. He regretted bonding her, very much regretted it, by what she could feel.

"Tell me everything about yourself." He asked, there was a difference. She thought she could refuse to this, she could resist him this time. She hadn't, the Aes Sedai of this days, ignorant children of the most part, regarded their warders as both their property and part of themselves. She began to understand why, her life belonged to him. Her future, her very soul. For some reason, it didn't bother her half as much as it should have. "You're beginning to see, Aran'gar." Hearing the name from him hurt her, "the bond take some adjusting to both of us. Nothing of any importance, usually, small things to make life easier. But with your case, I fear very much the adjustment will change your entire way of thinking. And mine." Logain's voice was soft. He bent to kiss her forehead. "Sleep," He whispered the command to her, and her eyes closed instantly. Aran'gar fell asleep almost as quickly. Chest rising and falling more and more slowly. Logain hunted her dreams.

Halima walked slowly, she didn't want to wake. Logain was saying the nicest things to her. "Do you mean to wake anytime in this age?" Toviene's sharp voice was all the encouragement she needed to wake up fully. She looked up, Toviene smiled at her unpleasantly. "You slept for a whole day," She said, then fell silent, and looked at her more closely. "It happened." She muttered angrily. "Nothing to be done about it now."

"What happened?" Halima asked, there was a change in Toviene's voice. Almost warmth. It occurred to her suddenly that the woman could touch the source, and Logain's command still blocked her off saidin as surely as any thirteen women could.

"I belonged to the Red ajah for more then a century." Toviene didn't seem to understand the joke she was saying. But on the other hand, very few would. Ajah rarely lasted more than a year at most cases. "Yet I'm a warder to a man that can channel." Her eyes were sad suddenly. "What I'm now stands against everything I was, everything I've lived for from the day I've reached the shawl." Halima sat on the bed, someone took her dress off and covered her, she doubted if Logain was the one who had done it. He wasn't that kind of man. Silencing quickly that small part of her mind that mourned of Logain not being the one to undress her, she began to search for her clothing. She wasn't about to walk around in a shift. "It's not enough to be forced to obey Logain, you know." Halima didn't, she hadn't the faintest idea what the woman was talking about. But she let her talk, the more Toviene talked, the more chance there would be less pitfall along the way of being Logain's warder. She didn't even wonder how she got so accepted to the idea of being his warder, it wasn't like her. "The bond change the way you act, the way you think. It change you in more ways than I could believe possible." Halima considered it for a second.

"Not even Compulsation can be so deep," she said, "and at the same time, leave you fully aware of the changes that had been done to you. It works both more deeply and more efficiently than Compulsation, and at the same time, it can not be used for ill cause." If she had to be on a leash, this would probably the best she could be leashed on. Of course, she would have preferred not to being leashed at all.

Toviene gave her a strange look, "You know Compulsation..." She began, "Of course you do, being who you are." Halima rose a hand tiredly. She didn't want to talk about it now, or ever. Toviene seemed to understand, "Later," Toviene murmured. "What was I was talking about? Oh, the bond. It's not only what you've seen so far. It means to be used over lifetime, with any red, it's supposed to be impossible. The changes are being forced into you. Often without you being aware of it until it's too late. Not that there is anything to do about it anyway. I doubt that even Logain can do something about it." Halima closed her eyes, she traced the weave Logain used to bond her again, she had missed that. What else had she missed.

"I see," Halima said weakly.

"It's not that bad, not really." Toviene wasn't very good in cheering her up. "The bond takes care of this too. There is little enough the bond doesn't take care of." She sounded bitter, but only a little bit. "Logain said he is unable to control it, changing us. The bond was created to last a lifetime." There was a small smile on Toviene's face as she repeated her words. She didn't seem to be aware of it. "The bond changes us, so Logain would be able to live with us without going mad with having to have us around him."

Halima laughed suddenly, "The bond makes us into women Logain can live with. Isn't it right? Women that would be his ideal." It was funny, in a way. She had to laugh at it, or else she will began to cry.

"Not quite," Leane said, she came through the door, gliding forward swiftly. Logain wasn't anywhere nearby. She would have known if he was. "I would have came before, had I known you're awake." She hadn't had her dress with her, Halima began to wonder about it, sooner or later, Logain would return, it wasn't pleasant, to have him away from her. She thought it must be unpleasant to him too, and she wasn't going to welcome him in her shift. Leane carried a pitcher which she tossed at her, water. The sweetest thing she had ever tasted. Now, if only she will find something to eat.... "You don't understand," Leane said, a troubled look on her face "the bond is not a chain of bondage. Although it can be used that way, I think. Logain, at least, would do us no such thing. I know this for sure."

Toviene said something that wasn't quite audible. "Consider what we are doing now, Halima." She said, "I'm suppose to kill you, by the Three Oaths, I can. By Tower Law, I must. I'm not supposed to chat with you like you were a childhood friend. I'm not supposed to like you." Halima blinked at the woman's words, "Another gift from the bond, Halima. You will, or already have, began to like me and Leane." The woman sound bitter.

"What would you have?" Leane asked softly, "Without the bond making us like each other both of us would have been on each other's throat long ago. Even without Halima's... problem." She titled her head, "I don't know what we're talking about this. We can change nothing about it."

"I'm glad that at least one of you can be reasonable." Logain's voice made all of them jump, Halima felt her cheeks warming. Another thing that shouldn't have happened. Cursed that bond, and cursed that man too. He was clad in black, as he always seemed to be now. For the first time, Halima observed him, not simply looking, but staring at him and searching for every detail she could find. He was huge in every dimension. Taller than even Leane by a head, and twice as wide as any of them. He had black hair that reached his shoulder, and almost black eyes. Despite the sharp words, his tone was soft. And he was... strange inside. Troubled to begin with. "What were you talking about exactly?" He asked, he carried a large box in his hands, and tossed it to the floor without even looking at it. He stood, towering over them. He should have frighten her, he captured her so easily. Turned her loyalty to him as easily. And her loyalty was to him, and as strange as it sound, to the Light. He was more than handsome, in black shining silk. The sword on his hip was tossed aside as he sat on the bed, catching her chin with one hand. Making her eyes meet his. She clutched to the blanket that covered her in death grip.

"The bond messing up with our mind!" She answered him sharply, had she had anything to throw at him, she would have. But she hadn't made any move to make him loose his grip in her. He had no right making her feel sorry she couldn't lie her head against his chest and hug him as hard as she could and... The smile on Logain's face was all too... knowledgeable. "I can see no difference from making us your slaves. The bond making us into women you can like. What is the difference between this and making us your dogs?"

For a long moment, Logain simply looked at her flatly, emotionlessly. He let his hand drop, "I couldn't even begin to count the differences, not in a single lifetime, Halima." He growled at her, "But maybe it's time you will learn exactly what the bond does, and why."

"You never bothered to explain it before," Toviene said, "why now?" Leane sat on Logain's side. With Toviene on the other, and her on the bed, it made a scene that made her want to laugh, or cry.

"You never asked," Logain said with a frown. "That is why, Toviene. Ask! The bond is named so for a reason. It binds you, but also binds me, maybe even more than it does you." Leane sniffed in disbelief.

"What it does?" The Domani woman asked, "I'm asking you, humbly. Asha'man Logain." If this was what she considered as humble, even Logain would cowed when she would decide to be arrogant.

"It doesn't change you, not in the way you are thinking of." He said, he rose from the bed, continued to talk as he paced the length of the room. "Not really," He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering. "The bond," He said after a moment, "was created by Deral in order to make sure he wouldn't harm his wife if he will go mad. That was what he is meant to do, at least at first. But Deral hadn't expect the... side affects." Logain was frozen inside, full of saidin, fighting it, filled with life. His stomach burned as the taint turned it over. "As far as I understand, and none of the Asha'man truly understands everything the bond does, not harming his wife was in itself a side affect of the weave Deral discovered." His eyes were still close, he sounded almost amused, almost. "The only harm I can make you now is with words, believe me, even if I will go mad this instant, you will be as safe as in your mothers' arms. Safer, the bond also forces me to protect you. But that is off topic. The ability to tell each other's emotion, each other's physical state is the main advantage on the bond. I assume that Deral didn't felt... close enough to his wife." Now he was certainly amused, Leane and Toviene watched Logain as closely as she herself did. Catching every word. "Trust, loyalty, they are also part of what the bond does. I will give my life for you," It didn't sound like something he didn't mean to. "I already put you before everything else," Another saying that sound true. "And the same goes for you." Logain opened his eyes, watching their reaction to his words.

"Carry on," Halima said, "what is the worst part?" She stilled herself for the worst she could think of.

"It's not that bad, not really." Logain sighed, but he was certainly... worried of their reaction. "The bond doesn't really change who you're, Halima. What it did was... removing the parts in you I couldn't live with. Belonging to the shadow, for example." He hadn't continue, he had no need of it, much else had change in her. And his words hurt her already. "You're still the person you've always been, only..."

"Gentled," Toviene said, "that is what it does to us." Logain took a deep breath, gentled was the word they used this day to describe the severing of a man from the power. He somehow survived this, he was severed and somehow lived the pain of not touching the power. "Cutting away what you don't like, you told me how it pained when you were gentled. How could you do such thing to us?"

"You are a red," Logain's words affected Toviene like a slap on the face, "And Halima tried to kill me, I bonded her to save my life."

"I agreed to be your warder," Leane said, "although I think I might be beginning to regret it." She sound as if she was trying to cheer him up.

Logain snort, "You can't, another thing the bond take care of, nor can I, if you were about to bring this up." He turned his eyes to Toviene, Halima clutched the blanket harder, and prayed that he wasn't lying about the bond preventing him from harming them. He was so angry... "As for what you said, I have no answer for this. Maybe you're right, I don't know." He sounded so tired suddenly, deadly tired. Leane rose swiftly, gliding at him, Halima saw her making men do whatever she wish. Now she seemed to try to do the same with Logain. At least in order to cheer him up. The way she walked would certainly made any man watch, but there was nothing in Logain as he watched Leane coming closer to hug him. Logain's arms went around Leane, softly. "All I know that there is nothing to do about it. The only thing I can say about it is that as much as you may be angry at me at the moment, remember that the bond affects me in much the same way." He rose a hand to silence Toviene, "Think! The bond doesn't change who I am, it simply take away every restriction I've for you."

"I don't understand," Halima said, "if you can't live with a... darkfriend," she had to make herself say the word, "then I can understand why it changes me." She smiled at him suddenly, he showed no affect that the smile usually had on men. "I'm grateful of that, that I don't belong to the shadow anymore. Of course, it's the person you've changed that is happy about being changed, not the one that died." Aran'gar did died soon after Logain bonded her, she didn't even thought of herself as Aran'gar anymore. She became Halima. "But if the bond removes your restrictions to me once being a darkfriend then I shouldn't have changed." She was grateful of not being of the Shadow anymore, but she wanted so much to understand, so much wanted him to stop thinking of her as a darkfriend. One again, she understood the way the Aes Sedai of this days behaved toward their warders, both as their property and as a part of themselves.

Logain considered her words for a long time, Leane hadn't made a move to walk away. "We meet in the middle, more or less," Logain said, "you see, the bond can't change me too much, only so I would agree to..." He hesitated for a moment, avoiding something. "It can change you, and it did, but even as you are, I doubt if I would agree to have you as my warder if I would have the choice. It changes you as little as possible, only so I can live with you without hating myself for ever bonding you, and changes me so I would be able to..." Again he hesitated, avoiding something again, the same something, Halima was sure of, but what it was. He stepped away from Leane, to Halima's relief, she had to suppress jealously for quite a time. He seemed to be trying to look at all the three of them in the eye. "In the Black Tower, the bond is usually used between husbands and wives." He said, "That was what it was meant to be used, the bond change you so I could live with you for a long time without hating myself," why was he repeating himself? "Not love you, simply live with you without wanting to kill you. And then it change me so I can... like you."

Leane blinked, and Toviene simply stared at him, face aghast, maybe they didn't understood it to the end, she thought she did. "We are changed only to the point where you are ready to let us stay near you. And your idea of what kind of woman you can love is changed to fit us. Isn't it?" She should have been furious at him, all she felt was... affection.

"And it's not only this," Toviene said quietly, "one of the changes in us is to make us love you, isn't it?" Her voice was flat as a stone.

Logain murmured something too low for them to hear, "No, that is the only thing it doesn't do." He said, "It doesn't force you to love me, it does force me to... like you, in a way, it does. What it does do, when the adjustment is being done, is making me love you, and..." He signed and gestured sharply in the air, unable to speak suddenly. "I don't have the words for this, you can say it make me act the way you want to, but it's not what the whole of it. It doesn't force you to love me, Toviene. It simply happens, not a result of the bond." So he loved them, all three of them, somehow, the idea seemed right for her.

Leane took one step toward from him, Toviene rose to her feet, fury blooming on her face. Her gaze hard enough to break through stones. Logain sighed again, sadly. "I have the words for you, Logain." Halima said, she sat, wrapping the blanket around her, for some reason, she feared him seeing her in her shift. She didn't feared him, she knew his words for true. He couldn't hurt her, she doubted if he could even think of commanding her to come to him, and the bond has nothing to do with her feeling about it. He wouldn't have done it. She simply know he wouldn't. So way she felt ashamed of him? "The bond will make me see you as someone I can fall in love with, it doesn't force me to love you. Only make me consider the idea, and then it affects you so you will be more... loveable. I still have the decision, but in the same time, I don't."

Logain nodded sharply to her words, "Very good, Halima." He said, "But this conversation, as pleasant as it may be, is not here nor there." Toviene growled something, she relaxed a little after the explanation Halima had offered, but Halima didn't doubt that the woman was still angry about Logain. I should be angry about him too! Halima thought, she wasn't. He admitted that he loved her, and Toviene and Leane too. What did it matter why he loved her, her own feeling for him came from the same source. Leane's eyes were soft, she breath hard. "You," Logain's fingered stabbed in the air toward her, "are going to be a trouble."

Halima blinked, "You are more fool than you look like, Logain." She told him calmly, "If you haven't realize this from the start. But just for general curiosity, what did I did?"

"The Lord Dragon want to see you," Logain said, fear stabbed her heart, not even the Dark One himself could make her be as afraid as facing Lews Therin. Light, she had to escape, had to. She rose to her feet, letting the blanket fall. Panic had her, she ran to the door of the small room. Unaware that she was dress in her shift alone, barefoot.

"Stop!" Logain's roar stopped her on her track, her muscles refusing to obey her. "Come to me, now!" The man that had her commanded again, coldness in his voice to match a grave. She came to him, what choice did she had? "You will never escape from me like this again," He whispered harshly to her. "Never! For no reason!" Then, as if he noticed for the first time of her fear, he embraced her, supporting her shaking knees. "I will let nothing harm you, Halima! I promise!"

She pushed him away, hitting him with her fists. It had no affect of him, she could have attack a rock with the same results. But he did let her go. "Don't you understand?" She shouted at him, her cheeks were red, with anger, and fear. "He's Lews Therin! There is nothing you can do to stop him from getting what he want! Not from him!"

Logain fell silent for quite some time, then he rose her eyes to meet his. "You might be surprise at what I can find possible," he said finally. "Now, as long as you're out of the bed, I suggest that you will take a bath, there is a pool not far north from here. After you've washed, and ate, we can talk. The two of you can use a bath too," Logain said to Leane and Toviene. "And you can eat a horse right now." Leane and Toviene looked nothing alike. But staring at Logain with frozen faces, they were mirror copies of each other. The glares slide past Logain to no affect. She did need a bath, and the sooner the better.

"What are we suppose to wear?" Halima asked desperately, she had her shift only. Her dress was nowhere to be seen, and she saw nothing to indicate that Leane and Toviene had anything but what they stood in. She thought she might be blushing, this was something she hadn't expected. It shouldn't have bother her the slightest. But it did.

Logain blinked, surprised for a minute. "There are some towels I left near the pool, big enough to cover you from head to toe. I will... take care of your clothing later." It wasn't a suggestion, somehow he managed to order them without using the bond. He rarely used it, as far as Halima could see, a true relief. They obeyed, not because they had to, simply because Logain didn't look as if he was ready to argue with them. Logain guide them to the pool. The ground was cover with snow. And as she was, barefoot and in her shift only, she shivered her way forward. Did he really believed that they would take a bath in a pool that was probably more ice than water? She refused three times to Logain's offer to help her. The forth time, he hadn't ask. Simply picking her up from the ground as if she weight nothing. It took few minutes before they reached a small building, much like the one where Logain left her. This one, at least, had a door. Now she thought about it, Logain must have wards to keep the warmth in and the cold out. The cabin wasn't warm, but it was frozen either.

"You seem to know this place quite well," She said to Logain. Anything to make herself forget that he held her in his arms. "Where are we?"

"Altara," Logain said curtly, "this is a place I came to when I learn that I could channel. For a very long time, it was all my world." A flow of Air opened the door to the cabin they were heading to. As soon as they were inside Halima began to sweat, it was warm! A pool ten feet at length and twice that in width. Maybe five feet deep filled most of the cabin. "Here," Logain said, setting on the ground. She had no reason to regret him leaving her. No reason at all! The warmth came from the pool, it was steaming! In midwinter! Logain regarded each one of them with a stern look, he seemed to be trying to memorize them. "You can take your bath here. I will be back when you're done." With this, he went to the door and walked away before any of them could say a word. Both amused and angry to no end.

"What is wrong with him now?" Toviene murmured. But Halima paid her no mind, she needed the bath. There was everything she could hope for there. Some kind of soap that gave a smell of strawberry, of all things. And Logain didn't exaggerate about the size of the towels. She sank to the bath with a relieved sigh. It wasn't as hot as she expected. It took some time, but finally all three of them were done. Logain was no where to be seen. Just thinking about wearing the dirty cloths again was enough to make Halima curse.

"It's not as if we have a choice," Leane said, wrapping a towel around her like a robe. "He does not seem to be willing to come."

"He is not that type of man, Halima." Toviene said gently, reading her emotion more clearly than she herself did. "The Light knows that he could have enter me to his bed simply by ordering it, long time ago. But he hadn't done so. He is a good man." Her mouth clamped suddenly shut, as if she hadn't mean to say this words.

"That he is," Leane whispered, "That he is." Halima wrapped a towel around her, she felt like she was clouding herself in her own shroud.

"You agreed to be bond?" Halima asked the taller woman, that was what Leane said, before. "why?"

"He showed me that you can live without the power." Leane said, her voice pained. "Logain reach the point of dying, and returned. Without him, I would have killed myself long before Nynaeve has a chance to heal me. Not to mention that without him, there would have never been healing for stilling." Halima doubt if the woman was ever so straight forward in her life. She couldn't lie to Logain, apparently, she couldn't lie to Leane or Toviene too. And vise versa. Leane seemed to be deep in the past. "He came to my tent one night, simply appearing from the night and scaring me half way to death. I thought he might have returned to avenge." Leane shock her head, making long air swing. Seemingly young features lost there expressionless quality. "He came to thank me, it was Suian that took him from the Tower, the White Tower, that is, but he came to thank me. A man of honor is rarely found. I don't know why I've done this, but I suggested him to be my warder. A the time, I didn't care a bit of him being able to channel." Leane avoided looking at any of them, "you can guess the rest." Instead of bonding Logain, she agreed to being bonded by him. With everything it meant, Halima wondered if Logain bothered to explain Leane what being his warder meant. But then again, he hadn't misused it, yet.

Toviene wrapped a towel around herself too, and they were heading toward Logain, using the bond as a guide. He was lying on the bed, fully clothed. Sound asleep. Three perfect sets of clothing beside him, green and blue and silver. They were frozen. But inside the hut it was warm and almost lovely. The cloths were exactly in their sizes. From shoes to dresses. There was also a tray with enough food to feed a pack of rabid wolves. They attacked the food eagerly. Halima thought they must have ate and chatted for an hour or so, speaking in low voices, Logain continued to sleep. He needed to sleep.

"Light!" Logain cursed suddenly, his eyes opening wide. He scramble to his feet and was half way toward the exit before he noticed them. Seating on the floor, the empty tray near them. "I forgot you," He said, guilt burning him. "I finish readying everything and you weren't done yet. So I just lied down for a moment. I'm sorry," He apologized, all three of them looked at him with wide eyes. None expected this. "I shouldn't have done this."

"Who was the seamstress that made this dress, Logain?" Leane asked, trying to change the subject, not the most gentle way. But it worked. "I would have like to talk to her, I never saw sewing so delicate."

"You're talking to the seamstress." Logain said, Halima nodded, that was what she thought.

Toviene laughed, "With those hands of yours?" Logain did seemed too big to be able to make any sewing. Logain's sewing was something she couldn't quite picture in her mind.

"I don't have to use my hands to do this." Logain said, face twisted with half smile. "That is why I've the power." Halima was forced to smile. That was something she never considered to put the One Power to, making cloths. Logain sat on the floor near her, close enough for her to touch him, had she wanted, what she didn't, of course. "Now that you've washed and ate, tell me why you're afraid so much from Rand al'Thor." And Halima knew that the moment she feared had reached.

"What do you know about me? Really know about me?" Halima asked Logain. When she will finish, he will turn away from her, hate her. But she had to tell him, she couldn't lie to him, but she thought he might let it go if she will tell him she doesn't want to talk about it. She couldn't do this, not to him, not to herself. The idea of living in lie wasn't so strange to her not two full days ago.

Logain hesitated for a long moment. "You're my warder, Halima. That is what matter to more than everything else, beyond everything else. And the Light burn my soul if few words can change this!"

"They can," Halima murmured sadly, and they will, soon enough. She took a deep breath, and began to talk. Hiding nothing, she wanted him to know everything. Everything at all. Or else she wouldn't be able to live with herself. She talked in a law voice, looking at her shoes and never rising an eyes to look at Logain, or Leane, or Toviene. She knew what they would say, do. She revealed anything. From the reasons that led her to turning into the shadow to every last crime she had committed since wakening and before. She took no mercy on herself. She could afford none of it. She was a different woman now. But it didn't matter, she had been changed, something that was outside her control. She shivered and feared the actions she herself did, long ago, and not that long ago. But she forced herself to tell it all. It took more than three hours. And her throat was dry, her voice cracked, by the time she finished. Logain handed her a wine cup, she had no idea where did he took it from. He gave Leane and Toviene cups too, but poured none to himself."Well," She asked, she could read no expression on Logain's face, and he was emotionless inside too. Leane was green in the face, Toviene had both hands against her stomach, her face was bloodless. "Does none of you going to say something?" She was on the edge of tears. She never cried, never!

"What are we suppose to say?" Logain asked, "Whatever you have done is already done. Nothing can be done to change this. And you will not do this again," He was right, only thinking of what she had done was almost enough to make her cry. "The bond will take care of that, already took care of that. You're not the woman I've bonded, Halima. And Rand will know it, you have no reason to be afraid of him." But Leane and Toviene still had those looks in their eyes, as if they only know really saw her. She hadn't dare to look at Logain.

Halima took a deep sip from her cup, and threw it on Logain. She cursed him with every vile word she knew. Saidin caught the cup in mid air, and the wine that spilled in the air gather itself into a ball. The cup settled down near her. Logain made no attempt to silence her, or showed that the curses disturb him in anyway. Leane and Toviene looked at her wide eyes, some of those curses were ridiculous. The rest were impossible. She stopped to breath, and to calm herself. She always hated herself for those tantrums, but she never been able to control herself when fury held her. The bond made nothing to affect her in this area. Apparently Logain didn't mind being angry at. Or didn't mind it that much. Logain was half asleep. Leane and Toviene talked in quiet voices, the three simply ignored her. "Don't you understand who he is?" She said after the fury faded. After she could control herself again.

"He's the Dragon Reborn, Halima." Logain said, not opening his eyes, "That is all I care."

Halima's anger gone, of course, he didn't knew. No one could. "Before the War of Shadow," She said, "I was an historian." Logain nodded, she already told him much about herself, soon after he had bonded her. "It seem I've a chance to be one again," She liked being an historian, but time had changed, and she wanted to make history, not write about it. "Lews Therin was the most known man in the Age of Legends," She began, she liked the name people had given her he, although they remember so little of what was. "And for good reasons."

"He was the most powerful man in the Age of Legends," Toviene said, she and Leane stopped talking as soon as she began. "And the First of Servants. He had to be known." Halima blinked at her, she didn't expect her to know this. "I'm a red," Toviene said angrily.

"Not anymore, Toviene. You're not." Logain's words were said in a quiet voice, but they held absolute sureness.

Toviene glared at him, then the glare fade, and she bow her head slightly. Inclining Logain's words, "I was a red, if this is what you like, Logain. Every red is required to learn everything we can about men that can channel. Lews Therin caused the taint, he's the obvious start point." Logain's face changed not a bit. But fury well in him like a flood.

"Lews Therin was not responsible for the taint, Toviene." Halima said, "He did what he did for reasons that still hold. He had some knowledge of what might happen, but would you like him not to try it? It was a matter of months before the Shadow victory. Without his actions, the world would have been under the Dark One's control." Halima shivered, once it was a shiver for pleasant, now it was for fear. She didn't want the Dark One to win. Not now, before, she did want it, with all her heart. Now, she doubt if there was a price too high to avoid it.

"Tell me about Lews Therin, Halima." Logain was not sleepy anymore. Interest shined in his eyes. "I've always wondered about..." He fell quite for a minute, "Tell me everything you know about Lews Therin. Why are you so afraid of him?"

She closed her eyes, and remembered. Let herself remember an age of glory and beauty more than anything this age could offer. She began to talk, quiet voice, almost calm, but she grieved inside of all the beauty that died, all the glory that vanish. And she let herself remember Lews Therin, you couldn't talk about the War of Shadow without talking about Lews Therin. And you couldn't talk about Lews Therin part in the War without knowing the man. "Lews Therin always demand from himself ten times than anybody else demanded from him. Reaching his full strength in half the time it usually had to take. He was the fastest student in a hundred year or so." Halima began, Before the opening of the bore, Lews Therin was already the most known man in her age. "In every area he was interested in, he was always the first, always the best. It never came easily to him, but he was ready to push himself half way to death in order to be the best he could be. The best, always the best. No wonder he was envied." She laughed softly as she remember one incident when Lews Therin's argue to be the first got in his way. She gave as short summery as she thought Logain would allow of Lews Therin's life, she wanted to see Logain's face when she will tell him what she had in her mind.

"You know that Lews Therin and Lanfear were lovers?" She asked, one of the few things they knew this days about the war that ended an age of beauty. She hadn't waited for their nods, "Lews Therin and Lanfear were lovers for more than two hundreds years. Since they were students learning about the power and until about fifty years before the opening of the bore. After he left her, Lanfear wasn't ready to see him with another woman. She had tried more than once to kill him, whenever he was with another woman."

Logain smiled faintly, "It can be... troubling, sometimes." He said, "I remember once that ...." He fell quite suddenly, his face frozen, grief inside, "It was a long time ago, and it matter nothing now." He said with a sigh finally. "So Lews Therin was stubborn, it isn't a big surprise. Nor that he wanted to be the best in everything. You might have not noticed, but many want the same."

"Let me give you an example," Halima said, she couldn't ask for a better opening. "About twenty years after the bore was open, Lews Therin had a... suggestion to the Hall of Servants." A demand, more than a suggestion, "It would take too long to explain what it was about, but it applied to the laws of violence, Lews Therin claimed they needed to be changed, since they didn't fit to the changing times anymore. Looking back, he was right, but this was something unheard of. The head of those opposing his plan was Ilyena Moerelle Dalisar -"

"Ilyena Sunhair," Logain murmured absently, as if he wasn't aware of it. "Lews Therin's Ilyena, supposedly an Aes Sedai easily as strong as Lanfear, and she hated Lanfear as much as Lanfear hated her. During the War of Shadow they engaged each other more than once. It's said that 'The hate between The Daughter of the Night and Ilynea Sunhair was bested only by the hate between the Betrayer of Hope and The Lord of Morning.' " The last he said as thought quoting.

"Burn my soul!" Halima gasped, "How you can know it? Nothing remained to even hint it!" But he was right, and the quote was right, both the words and the meaning. Toviene and Leane goggled at the man.

Logain moved uneasily under their gazes, the first time he looked unnerved. But inside he was calmed, if they bothered him, they didn't make much impression. "No one bothered to hinder a dead man, isn't it?" He said, fury held him, he seemed to be wanting to leash out at something. "And I was a dead man after I was... gentled, you only waited for the corpse to lie down and died. Nobody thought it's wrong for me to read a little, even those records you Aes Sedai doesn't usually let anyone save Aes Sedai read." Leane moved her gaze from him quickly, her cheeks burning. Toviene didn't, there was something in her eyes, something Halima couldn't recognize. Affection? To a man that could channel? Even with the bond, Toviene was red.

"I... see," Halima said when the quiet lingered for far too long, she hadn't expected Logain to know this. "Ilyena opposed Lews Therin, but at the end, Lews Therin's suggestion were accepted, although barely." She had no interest in the business of the Hall at the time, she hadn't much interest in anything save drinking and women at the time. Of course, this was when she was still a man, still an Aes Sedai in the age that must be the most beautiful age of all. But later, she learned everything she could about Lews Therin, it was only reasonable, Lews Therin was the enemy. She have heard the Grea- Dark One saying, more than once, that Lews Therin, The Dragon, was the true enemy, not the Light. "Lews Therin didn't like to be angry on," Although that at the time, it was almost a fashion, hating Lews Therin. It always seemed that he was getting everything he wanted, and that he worked twice as much as everyone else mattered nothing. People always envied those above them, and always will. And a man that reached the top in every last area he had the slightest interest in was an easy target. She had to admit now, with the bond either clearing or clouding her thoughts, that Lews Therin gained nothing he hadn't deserved, but at the time, even him working harder than most others seemed arrogant. "So he went to Ilyena, I would have give my soul to know what they talked about. All I know of that he left Ilyena with lightning practically on him." Ilyena usually had a good control on her temper, in many ways, although none of them would admit it, she and Lanfear were much alike each other. Lews Therin was the only one that seemed able to drive both women over the edge. She had envied this self control more than once, her own rages had cost her dearly.

"That I didn't know." Logain said quietly, leaning forward, "What did he do?" Until now, he was merely listening to her, trying to understand why she was so much afraid of Lews Therin. What she told him was not the slightest, it wasn't the Lews Therin of the days before the war she feared of, it was the Dragon that turn her stomach into ice. The same man that send thousands to die if he thought he would gain something worth the price.

" 'Emotions are no part of any battle', that was what Lews Therin said, after Paran Disen." Halima murmured, "And I'm almost sure that at the time he had no emotion for Ilyena. But she was the very first to turn him down in such a way."

Logain laughed suddenly, "I can understand why he was envied." He seemed to want to say more, but she let him none of it.

"Think of who he was, at the time, he was the most famous man in the world, the strongest in the power ever to be seen. And he could be very... charming when he wanted. Of course no woman would have refused to him. Until that day, Lews Therin never had such an incident." She took a sip from the all but forgotten cup in her hand, she felt the need of it. "What would you do, Logain?" She asked, and regretted it when he smiled at her, a very warm smile. She could feel her pulse racing, and he did nothing save smiling at her! Leane laughed suddenly, an amused laugh that made her even more angry. "Never mind that," She whispered angrily. "Lews Therin might have been hurt by this, but he was no fool, and he was more stubborn than any mule that I've met." And in this age, she certainly met far too many mules. Why couldn't they reserve the memory of how to make a simple jo-car? "He tried once more with Ilyena, with the same results, before he left his studies to take a new one." She fell quiet for ten heartbeats, she had to lecture many times in the past, usually to crowds far bigger than this three people she would share her life with, but she felt pleased that she could still make her crowd tense. "For the next twenty five years, Lews Therin studied women." Logain had just took a sip from his wine. He spluttered the wine all over at her words. The affect on Leane and Toveine was just as great."Women!" Toviene exclaimed, "How can any man study women?"Leane nodded in agreement to Toviene words.

"Usually," Logain said, staring at his stained coat with cold eyes, Halima had no idea who he was angry at, her or himself. "That is all what a man can do with women. What I want to know, is how you can study women?"

Halima smiled, the affect of her words were even better than she hoped it would be. Maybe there were some advantages to this age. Everyone knew the story about Lews Therin and Ilyena in her own age. And of course, Logain is in this age, a small voice mocked her. That had nothing to do with what I feel! She thought angrily. Logain had nothing to do with the please feeling inside her, nothing! "For almost twenty five years, Lews Therin was a worse lecher than I could even dream of being." Logain rose an eyebrow to this, then frowned as he remembered what she told him about herself. She had hard time accepting her new body, she still felt... peculiar, remembering the times when she was a man.

"That is no way to win a woman's heart, the worst fool in the world should understand it." Leane comment calmly. The woman believed her, but she didn't believed

"Maybe Lews Therin didn't know it," Halima answered her, "I don't know, all I know is that for twenty five years Lews Therin seemed to drown himself in women. From every rank, from every land and city. Whatever they could channel or not, he rarely spent more than a week with the same woman, never more than two. Lanfear was furious, somehow, she felt Lews Therin was doing it to avenge him on her."

"What did Ilyena?" Toviene asked, she seemed to be as curious as Leane and Logain were.

"She was even more angry than Lanfear, if that was possible," Halima smiled to herself, "until she rejected him, Lews Therin wouldn't have even dreamed about doing it. The worst of it, from her point of view, was that everyone knew that Lews Therin did it to win her. Of course, at the time, no one knew what Lews Therin was doing, he simply seemed trying to drown himself in women."

"Not a bad thing to do, when you need something to cheer you up," Logain murmured, almost too law for her to hear. Toviene glared at him, Leane leaned to touch his knee, whispering something Halima didn't caught. Halima stared at Logain in amazement, whatever Leane said, Logain cheeks flushed like two suns. Although he was amused at the same time. He said something back to Leane, Halima would have gave much to know what the two said to each other. Whatever Logain told to Leane in return, it made her laugh, although she, too, blushed as furiously as Logain had.

Toviene snorted, attempting to enter true disgust into her voice, and failing miserably. "Carry on, Halima. They can continue doing this for hours." There was a hint in the Red's voice, she was interested in the two's words as much as she herself was.

Halima cleared her throat, for the forth time, before either Logain or Leane paid her any attention. Both looked startled, Leane blushed again, Logain only looked ashamed. "What were you saying, Halima?" Leane said, "Something about Lews Therin being a lecher."

Halima tightened her mouth, one of the things that always made her lose her control on her temper was losing the listeners' attention. "We're sorry," Logain said, he was sorry. It surprised her deeply, she hadn't thought he care about her feeling. Being who, and what, she was. "You said Lews Therin wasn't a fool, if Rand al'Thor is close to Lews Therin in any way, save being him reborn, of course," He smiled shortly at that, could you be any more closer than that? "Thinking about the Dragon as a fool is a mistake I'm not about to do. Why under the Light would he do such a thing? It's worse than madness!"

"He needed to understand why Ilyena rejected him, and apparently he decided that this is the best way to learn how." Halima answered, at least she had his attention now. It surprised her how much she wanted it.

"He won her heart, in the end, but..." Logain signed deeply, "I wish I could talk with Lews Therin," There was a far off look in his eyes.

"You can," Halima couldn't stop a shudder, "I met al'Thor only once, and I don't remember much of it. Death tend to make strange things to your mind," It surprised her that she could laugh at this, it was the most horrible incident in her life, by far. "Death is not something I would choose, Logain Albar," She said in a quiet tone, certainly not when she already knew what was expecting her, "I've died once, I doubt if I'll have another change, and there is no one who know better than me what is waiting from me, but believe me when I say you this. I will kill myself and not let Lews Therin have me," She rose one hand tiredly, she was so tired suddenly, "Rand al'Thor is Lews Therin, you can see The Lord of Morning staring back at you when you look at al'Thor! I've seen them both. And there is nothing that can frighten me more than death save being in the Dragon's hands." She shivered uncontrolled now, what Lews Therin had promised to do to her... She could still remember cold hard eyes, staring at her through the miles that separated them, saidin filled her that day, and a day that should have been victorious became horror. Lews Therin cried, she remembered, cried over a young woman's body, one of those heroes he had adopted that she had killed. But his voice held the coldness of saidin itself when his words seemed to echo throughout the world. He promised to avenged her. And say whatever you wanted about Lews Therin, he always kept loyal to his word. "He promised me... something," Even now, so many years after that day, she couldn't help trembling at the memory, "and he will keep what he said. I would die before letting him have me, I will!" Why was she so tired suddenly?

"Lews Therin died long time ago," Logain said to her, "Rand may be Lews Therin Reborn, but he isn't Lews Therin himself. He can't remember something that he hadn't lived. You have no reason to-"

"I've looked at your Rand's eyes, Logain!" Halima shouted, she jumped to her feet, tried to, she was so weak suddenly she could barely move, Logain caught her with flows of air, or else she would have fall back. "He's Lews Therin, oh Light, why can't you understand-" Blackness took her, she didn't have the power to open her eyes.

She caught Logain muttering "I'm sorry," before the darkness had her fully. No power remaining in her body.

Halima woke slowly, she lied on a hard wooden chair, something soft were tuck behind her head. "I will not allow it!" Logain said, he was standing near her, she could feel his hand on her shoulder. "Not even you can demand it from you, Rand al'Thor! Not even you have the right!" Controlled fury held Logain. "Is it not enough that you've nearly killed me and her both, cutting her off from the Dark One?" Halima felt weak, almost as weak as she felt when she fainted, too weak even to open her eyes. But she noted the absence of the her bond. Something that she hadn't truly felt until it was gone. Something she was happy to be rid of.

"She is asleep because you've drain away almost every bit of power she had." A cold voice answer Logain, the accent, the choosing of the words, even the pauses between the words. The voice itself was different, but in anything else, it was Lews Therin who spoke. "What you can take, you can also give. And don't you dare tell me you've not thought about it. She will answer the questions I've, or else..." Lews Therin fell silent of less than a heartbeat, enough to make her imagine the worst. Lews Therin and the Dark One were feared equally, in her heart. Both could make her wish to die again, she, who know what was waiting for her. She felt Logain hesitating, fear, angry and worry battling in the back of her head. In the back of her head, she could feel the knot of emotions that were Logain beginning to warm up, glowing. Warmth flowed into her, it felt a little like what she felt when Logain had bonded her. Opening her eyes, she stared at the room.

Logain stood next to her, one hand on her shoulder, another running on the long hilt of his sword, he didn't seem to be aware of it. He held saidin to bursting. Flows of Air and Earth and Fire ready inside him, he could weave them instantly. A shield of some sort, Halima thought. She had no doubt that Lews Therin knew it too. It touched something inside her, Logain sided her, even when it came to confronting Lews Therin. She knew herself well enough to know that had their cases been reverse, she wouldn't have do the same. She suppress the stab shame she felt, it was no time or place to think about her flaws. Logain wore black, as usual, but he was coatless, his coat making a pillow for her. She was in a large room, the walls were smooth by the One Power, maybe she was in some sort of a cave. Few chairs were scattered all over the room. And two tables she could see. One loaded with maps to bursting, the other's content was hidden from her eyes by a tall women with red hair and green eyes that stare at her flat eyes. She wore blue and gray, strangely enough, she wore breaches and coat in a man's style. Halima was sure she had seen her before. Aviendha, was that was her name? She noticed that she did anything to avoid looking at Lews Therin. But she was force to stare at him. "Eval Ramman," The man's voice came in a hiss, so much like Lews Therin's voice that she shuddered. She was in Lews Therin's hands, unable to channel. The man stood in front of her, slightly taller than even Logain. He had red hair, not deep brown, and blue-gray eyes instead of almost black. The way he stood, the way he eyed her coldly, even the way his mouth twisted at the sight of her, everything hinted about Lews Therin. The man that promise to make her pay in the ways that could send chill even into Semirhage's heart. The man wore blue coat, and she could see muscles moving under his coat as he walked slowly toward her. "It has been long since that day in M'Jinn." The last confirmation she had needed. He remembered, she was becoming stronger with the moment. But she could rise from the chair for her life. Fear stabbing through her life a knife.

Logain flowed between her and Lews Therin, "You will not harm her, I agree that you will question her, and she will answer you. But you-will-not-harm-her!" Lews Therin eyed Logain coldly. He was stronger than Logain. Halima doubted if Logain had the advantage of superior knowledge, if Lews Therin remembered the only time she had met him before she forsook the Light, what else did he remembered? If Logain would face him, Logain would die. And she couldn't allow it. Logain and Lews Therin stared at each other, none of them wanted violence, both were ready to begin it. She rose to her feet unsteadily. And both men turned to gaze at her. Logain moved to support her. "You will not harm her." He repeat, "I will not allow you to harm her."

"You have my word on it, Logain Albar." The woman, Aviendha, said suddenly, walking to lie a hand on Lews Therin's shoulder. "He will not harm her." Lews Therin turned to look at the woman.

"What in the name of the Light you think-?" He began angrily. The woman said something, Halima's skin tingled. She should have heard something, the woman must have erected a barrier against eavesdropping. Lews Therin and the woman in blue and gray talked for few moments. Halima knew that Logain's life, her own, maybe even Leane's and Toviene's as well were in the stake her. Neither she nor Logain made any sound.

"As you say, Aviendha." Lews Therin said, the sound of her voice gave her a start. Halima gave this Aviendha a second glance, who was she, to have such affect on Lews Therin? Ilyena might have succeeded in such task, but none else Halima could remember.

Before he could turn to her, Halima spoke, directing her words to Lews Therin, "I will answer your question the best I can, Lews Therin." Her bond to the Dark One gone, the hunters were already set, the Dark One wouldn't let her slip away without a punishment, she didn't even want to consider what that punishment would be. Giving herself to Lews Therin might be better, but only might.

"You've better had," Lews Therin said, his voice mild. The look in his eyes gave the true meaning. She swallowed hard and moved away from Logain, she doubt if she could stand for long. She sat down as gracefully as she could. No use trying to seduce him, with other men, it might have worked, with him... He hadn't wasted all those years studying women. She have seen him make women fall in love with him while not an hour ago they proclaimed their eternal hate to him. She had heard stories about Lews Therin, some were rumors, some were not. She knew of three times for sure where it was said he had broken men in moments. Even Semirhage couldn't be that quick. She had run a spying network, a network of eyes and ears that equaled, if not bested, Moghedien's. She knew much more the the Light thought, much more the the Light feared. She knew what Lews Therin was capable of doing, more than any other of those who belonged to the Shadow did. Her fear had it's reason. Lews Therin looked at her, a hawk watching a rabbit. She had ignored Burning Heats and Freezing Chills for time longer than memory, but she began to sweat under the gaze of those blue gray eyes.

It was more than eight hours later when Halima left the room where she had been questioned. Lews Therin had probed out of her anything she knew. Everything about the Dark One's plans. Everything she knew about Osan'gar, her guesses about Naeb'lis, the man who called himself Moridin. Simply everything she knew. Logain had a hand around her, supporting her. She had no idea how he held on. Save the catnap when she had taken that bath she needed so much, he hadn't slept since he had bonded her. "Everything will be fine, Halima." Logain reassured her. She laughed softly to this, and tripped her own feet. Logain didn't even bother to ask her, he took her up in his arms like she was a child. As if she weighted nothing.

It was very nice, being so close to him. Faintly, she could her his heart beating. For some reason, she felt safe when he was near. He would let nothing harm her. She wasn't sure about her name anymore, she thought about herself as Halima now, an interesting side affect. But she had other names. Names that she had more right to bear than Halima. But she had no wish to bear them. Aran'gar, Balthamel, the name she once had, weren't something she could continued to be called. And she had lost every right to her own name, all but forgotten, Eval Ramman. Eval Ramman died with Balthamel, Aran'gar died with the bond, now I'm only Halima. "I wish I could be so sure myself, Logain." She whispered, his arms tighten around her for a heartbeat. "And the hunt after me already began." She was tired, exhausted, both in the body and in the mind. Being near Lews Therin for so long, close enough to touch him had she had any wish to do so had its affect on her. And she still hadn't recovered fully from Logain drawing her strength from her. He continued to send his own strength into her, but even this wasn't enough. He kept a steady flow of warmth, but he couldn't make it stronger without emptying himself. "Few survived the Dark One's fury, Logain." She murmured. His arms were so strong around her, but at the same time so tender. Logain said nothing to this, there was nothing to say. She hadn't regret him bonding her. She only regretted the pain that would be cause to Logain. "What was that last bit, Logain? Why Lews Therin wanted me not to hear it?"

"He told me that you could be either be his, or die." Logain said grimly. His pace hadn't slow, but she felt anger in him.

Halima struggled to get to her feet, but Logain held her easily. "You're going to give him my bond?" She have heard it was possible, with the bond Aes Sedai created. She had never dreamed about Logain doing something of the like to her. She didn't even want to dream what life would be, eternity bound to Lews Therin.

Logain halted immediately, her struggle made no impression on him, but her words seem to hurt him. "Even if this was possible, not even to save you life, or mine, I will not give your bond to another." It had the sound of an oath, in a way, it was exactly this. "Halima, this is something not done, not for any reason. It'll be more merciful to kill you. For both of us."

"Then what did you mean then?" Relief drowned her, she wouldn't be Lews Therin's warder, she would remain near Logain. It troubled her to find out that the last bother her more than the first.

"He didn't like the color of your dress, Halima." Logain said, he began trotting again. She made no move to escape his arms. It felt too good. "You're going to be an Asha'man." He laughed suddenly, "The only female Asha'man ever, so it seems."

That brought another question, a question that was vital for her. "Logain," She hesitated, but only for a heartbeat, "when are you going to allow me to touch saidin again?'

Logain sighed, she could feel saidin pulsing in him, "At the moment, I can't let you touch it." He said, his voice trying to be gentle. She stiffened, fine, if he doesn't trust me, burn him! "As far as I understand, Halima," Logain's voice hadn't changed a hair, but she bite back sharp words. "Your bond to the Dark One had protected you from the taint. If you will draw saidin now, you will draw the taint too. I would have rather have you avoiding the taint."

"And when will it be safe for me to touch the power? When it will be cleansed?" Her body stiffened again, Logain said not a word. He didn't even try to hide what was clear on his face. "Is he mad already?" She asked breathlessly, "And you too? There is no way you could reach half the power needed to cleanse saidin, not a tenth of was is needed, that is to say you know how to do this."

"I believe that it can be done, Halima. And even if we will fail, it still worth trying." Logain said absently. He seemed to be thinking deeply.

"When?" Halima knew there was no way of convincing him not to take part of this. She wouldn't even try, but...

"The day after tomorrow, Halima." Logain carried her through a wide corridor now, and waved Air to open a door. He seemed to think that she couldn't walk by herself. He moved through three or four rooms. Modestly decorated, as she noticed when he passed quickly through them. He took her to the bedchamber. The flow of warmth, of strength into her faded slowly. She had no idea how tired she was the moment she couldn't lean any longer on Logain's strength. All she could do was to seat down on a bed big enough for seven or eight people while Logain undressed her, leaving her with her shift alone. He tucked her under a blanket and walked out the room, muttering something about a bath. The bed already contained Leane and Toviene. It seemed that there was only one bed in Logain's rooms. She could worry about it another time, she fell asleep before Logain was outside the room. She didn't even had the time to wonder whatever Lews Therin would get her note, she feared to tell him what she guessed in his face, and feared almost as much not telling him at all.

Aviendha poured herself a cup of chilled wine. She could feel Rand's eyes on her back. She was surprised to realize how adopted she became of dresses. Returning to breaches and coats look almost... unnatural to her. But breaches and coat were far more comfortable than any dress could be, thought not as pretty. "What did she meant, Rand? Asking whatever you can still hold saidin?"

"It's a joke, Avi." Rand replayed, his eyes never leaving her, it felt good, very good, to have him looking at her that way. It was even better when he used her honey name. "A very old one, 'When you can't find saidin around a woman, it's already too late to run," He stopped as she slumped on his lap, trying to look casual. He took her face with his hand and kissed her. Somehow, she managed both being kissed and not spilling a drop of her wine.

"What is the only thing you can do?" She asked her, her cheeks felt like fire. Light, but she loved the man with all her heart.

" 'Marry her.' " Rand murmured, his mouth almost touching hers. Careful not to spill the wine, he embraced her.

"Here is a nice idea," She smiled at him, it always stunned her to see, to feel, what a simple smile could do to him. His eyes turned soft, morning skies eyes full of love. Inside, he was filled with the senses of her, her touch, her smell.

"But I can still hold saidin near you, Avi." His grin vanish as she hit him in the ribs. Not hard, he could take almost anything, but the pain inside him had nothing to do with the body. They were the only weak spot in his armor. The only one he opened his heart to, revealing secrets Aviendha sometimes he had hidden from himself. She kissed him, just so he would know what she feel for him. A man had the right to know this, after all.

She broke the kiss to give him a level look, "Rand, are you sure it's wise? What you're about to do?" She thought it was madness, but she, too, saw no other way. "You listed the dangers yourself, what if something will go wrong and - "

Rand kept one hand around her waist, the other he put against her mouth. "Avi, what if I will do nothing?" She bite his hand, hard. He had no right to be reasonable just when she wanted him to be gravely wrong. He said it himself, he was going mad, and it was either cleansing saidin, or risking him going mad before the Last Battle. Either way, the world would might pay dearly. But when one path offered hope, although small one. Another held nothing save fears and pitfalls and constant worry, with even less hope than the first one.

She desperately searched another topic to talk about. Maybe it was the best time to try Min's advice. Kissing the trouble away. When Elayne asked her where did she found out about it, Min claimed that it was Rand's method. And a method that certainly worked on her, and Elayne. Suddenly she remembered the piece of paper Logain's warder had given her. She had no intention of getting off Rand any time soon. Touching saidar momentarily, she wove Air and a paper float in the air at her direction. "Halima gave me this, Rand." Aviendha said, Rand's face turned to stone in less than a heartbeat. "She said you will need to read it." She already taken a look, few sentences, scribed hastily in the Old Tongue. She knew little of the Old Tongue, not enough to read what it was said.

Rand had taken the sheet of paper from her hand and eyed it with cold eyes. His face became pale slowly. "Ilyena," He whispered, "No, it can't be! It can't be!" He rose to his feet suddenly, send her, the wine and the paper to the floor. He even ignored her startled shout. Fury and anger and grief and sorrow and hate battled into him, along with other half a dozen emotion she had no name for. Rand rose his hand, Aviendha saw tendrils of flames between the fingers. He rose his hand, ready to destroy everything he saw. He rose his hand, and saw her. He looked at her as if he didn't know her. The world was lost, he had gone mad. with only few days remaining until saidin will be cleaned. The world was lost. She only thanked the Light for being the first victim, not having to watch the disaster. "Light," Rand gasped, sliding to his knees next to her. He sat directly on the wet spot where the wine had spilled.

Aviendha didn't trust her feet, relief and fear made them too weak. She crawled to Rand, hugging him. Giving him what comfort she could. "What is wrong, what the letter says?" If the woman did it on purpose, Aviendha would made her eat this paper. Former Forsaken or no Former Forsaken.

"Ilyena," Rand whispered, "Ishmael said he can give her back to me. But I refused, and died. Balthamel think that she might be back." Aviendha closed her eyes. What do I feel about it? She had no idea. "Cyndane, Balthamel says she is easily as strong as Lanfear," His hands went around her slowly, did he felt her trembling? She feared the very memory of the woman. "And there are..." Rand took a deep breath, looking up at him, she could clearly see unshed tears in his eyes. "There are other evidences why it can't be Lanfear. And only my Ilyena was as strong as Lanfear." Aviendha could think of a hundred reasons why this couldn't be, the strongest of them, men had more than hard time, trying to guess a woman's strength. They could, roughly, by trying to shield a woman and measuring the resistance. "Avi," Rand whispered to her hair, "what can I do?" She had never seen him helpless before. "What can I do?" She had no answer for him.

Halima woke slowly, a dream hunted her. She hugged Logain even more tightly, and tried to go back to sleep. She was suddenly awake, Logain's arms were wrapped around her, and she had her own hands around his neck.

She still had her shift on, and she thought she could dimly remember how Logain slipped into the bed. She was half asleep when he did it. But she remembered him staying well away from her. It was she who moved to embrace him. Save sleeping in his arms, nothing happened that shouldn't have. Save everything, of course, she thought, the bond should have never been created. Some part of her mind mourned what shouldn't have, mustn't have, and wouldn't have happened.

She laid with Logain's arms around her, hugging him, arguing with herself for hours. In this area, the bond has almost no affects, but it never once occurred to her that she could simply move away. Not even once.

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 3 June 1998]

He was awakened by a soft sound, barely audible. But a warrior cannot let himself ignore the weakest sound. And Arthur always prided himself at being an example for his soldiers. He rose to a seating position on the hard bed, there was someone else in the tent beside him. Sword in hand - he never let it be far away from him, not from the day he picked it up - he jumped off the bed.

"That would be a little use again me, Hawkwings." A deep male voice muttered, despite the tent's total darkness. "Few things would, in truth. But a sword certainly wouldn't."

Arthur founded himself a little reliefed - there were women with strange ideas that tried to sneak into his tent more than once - and a little worried. The voice was full of all the confidence in the world.

A light brusted into existence, and Arthur blinked in pain, his eyes burning as they adjusted into the strong light. The light resulted from a ball of fire, about the size of his fist, hanging in the air without nothing to support it. When he could see again without spots blinding him, he stare at a dark man, easily a hand or two above him. The tallest man Arthur had ever seen. He looked about his forthies, well muscled and dangerous. He cladded himself in plain blue breach and coats, and on the left side of his breast there was a circle.

Arthur had no need to see more than to know who he was facing. Nor to know what that sign held. Half black and half white, what once was the symbol of Aes Sedai.

"So you are Guiare Amsalam," He said lightly. Laying his sword on the bed, the man was right, there would be no use of a sword here.

"That is one of the names I'm using, Hawkwings." The man said. Deep brown eyes captured the light, and made it seem, for an instance only, that fire burned in the man's eyes. "The same as Arthur is one of yours. It doesn't matter now, and wouldn't for many years to come in the future. I've not came here to chat with you about what was, I came here to talk about what is."

"Tomorrow," Arthur made the word as dry as he could. Fear threaten to drown him. Tomorrow would be the final battle. Only one could win, Arthur was almost sure he had the advantage, that he had a better chance to win this battle. To defeat that man who conquered half the known world so quickly. The man whose symbol was the ancient symbol of Aes Sedai on blue background. Guiare Amsalam, the man who claimed to be the Dragon.

"Tomorrow," Guiare agreed, "Without you, your army can never win. I could kill you now, and the battle would end." Arthur took his sword back, if he was to die, he would die fighting!

"Put this toy down, Hawkwings. If I would have came here to kill you, I wouldn't have toy with you so. Whatever those Aes Sedai told you, I'm no more madder than you are. For the time being, at least."

"Then why have you came?"

"To lose," The man replied with no hesitation. "This battle I must not win. My task here has over, you've been dragged out of that rat hole you call home."

"Oh?" He risk no further reply.

"You should be flattered, you know." The man noted, "I wouldn't have done it for anyone, you know. But I doubt if you thank me, duty is a heavy load to carry."

"You said you've came here to lose. You've came to give yourself in. Finally!" He meant to say more, but was cut off.

"Don't be a total moron, Hawkwings. You know I can't do it. If I'm to lose, I shall lose in battle."

"Thousands of people would die, if the Light have its mercy on us. Tens of thousands, if we shall not have the Light's mercy. And you dare discuss pride!"

"Pride left me long ago, Hawkwings." The man replied coldly, "None should know it better than you. For you, for the world, I'm about to give in for something that is dearer to me than life itself. It's not game for me any more than it's a game for you." The man unsheathed his sword, and Arthur prefered himself to die.

"She is called Justice, Hawkwings." The man whispered slowly, it was a long sword, few men could use it as a two hands sword, the man held it in one hald, as easily as he would have held a sabre. "She followed me to many places, in many battles. To thousands of horrors and countless terrors. I took it with me to the Pit of Doom itself! And now she is yours."

"She?" Was the man truly mad? He didn't sound so, but then again, Arhtur met no madman before. "It's like having a wife, hawkwing. Carrying this sword, it's a ter'angreal, one made for me in the Age of Legends. Use it well and wisely, Hawkwings. Never turn it against those who does not deserve it. Remember Aridhol lessons. And remember that whatever I do, I did. Was done for what must be. For if not I, there wouldn't have been you."

Arthur swallowed, there wasn't a single doubt that the man was mad. "Tomorrow would be a day of victory for you, Hawkwings. And the beginning of death for me. Carry Justice into battle. Fight for what is right, and trust no Aes Sedai. They will use you, old friend. Use you until you can be of no good, and then will get rid of you. Goodbye, old friend, old enemy of mine. The wheel of time weave strange combination sometimes, and we aren't the only ones."

Fire bloomed, and the man was gone, and so was the fire ball he ahd created. The sword he named Justice rang as it hit the floor. Slwoly, Arthur took it in his hands, it was lighter than he expected. Hard steel that shined from inner light.

"Justice," Arthur whispered slowly, then fell on the bed and began laughing.

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 22 November 1998]

[Here is a continuation for PoD I wrote, by what I've heard, the next book is going to be called Towers of Midnight, so that is the name I've chosen. I hope you will like it. I'm stuck right now. Let see if you can continue this yourself.]

The royal palace in Caemlyn was a place of beauty, but today, Elayne saw none of it. She stared at Dyelin, unbelievingly. "It's impossible! Impossible!" She said, even to her own ears, it sounded like a whimper. It was strange, what she noticed. Birgitte's showed no emotion, face blank as new snow. But inside... Fear surged, and grief that was almost as vast as her own. But woven underneath it, woven through it all. Was worry, for her. Birgitte could feel what she did. Could feel that grief that seemed to be ready to swallow her. Sorrow that seemed endless. Coldness inside that burned her heart. Aviendha was pale in her green dress. She sat hard on the floor, unable to stand, and breathed hard. Usually the Aielwoman had her emotion in control. But now her eyes were wide with shock. Nynaeve held a hand to her mouth, eyes agonized.

"I fear it happened, Elayne." Dyelin said, Elayne closed her eyes. To shut the world out. To shut out the sight of the woman. She wanted so much to embrace saidar. To touch the True Source and destroy Dyelin, destroy the message she had brought with her to the Palace. "My cousin is very reliable. I trust him, The Dragon Reborn has gone mad."

Aviendha made a sound, half a groan, half a chuckle. "His name is Rand al'Thor, can't you say it?" She asked fiercely. Elayne opened her eyes tiredly, but the Aielwoman already had taken a hold on herself.

"Elayne...?" Reene Harfor hesitated at her glare, standing near the door, she looked almost frightened. The very first time she saw the woman hesitating, she always thought the woman as hard as the mountains. Her curtsy was deep enough for a scullery maid, "There is a man, coming to see you. He says he was sent by the Dragon Reborn and..." That was all she had a chance to say. The light of saidar enveloped Aviendha, and the first maid was dragged to the dais.

"Are you sure?" Aviendha voice held the quietness of the grave. "Did he came from Rand al'Thor?"

Reene nodded, that seemed to be the only thing she could do, Aviendha held her two feet above the floor. Elayne watched, another time, she might have stopped Aviendha. Now, she couldn't make herself care. "Send him in! Now!" She ordered. "Aviendha, release her."

Reene fell to her knees, "But... he's one of the Dragon's men." An Asha'man, not surprising that Rand would send an Asha'man, but why hadn't he come himself.

"I said, send him in! Go!" Elayne was surprised at the sound of her voice.

"That would not be necessary." A voice said, a man stood by the doors to her rooms. A tall man, a very tall man. In his middle age, with brown eyes and hair. He was clad in black, breech and coat. The sword on his hip looked like they were of one flesh. He had two strange pins on his collar. A silver one shaped like a sword, and another, on the other side, shining gold and red. Shaped like a snake with four legs. A dragon. The man was an Asha'man, a man that could touch saidin. A man that would go mad by the Dark One's taint on the male half of the True Source. A reason to the horror she saw on Reene's face, and even the fear, poorly hidden, in Dyelin's eyes. "I'm here." He had a very deep voice. And eyes that seemed to bore into her head. "Out!" He ordered, both Dyelin and Reene Harfor obeyed eagerly. The doors closed behind him, without a hand touching them. Elayne knew she had to be afraid, terrified. Only the Dark One has to be more feared than a man that can channel. So she was taught, but now, with the news Dyelin had brought, he could be Asmodean or Demandred for all she cared. If only he had some message from Rand, something to say that he wasn't mad. That she hadn't lost him before she even had a chance to claim him. Something... anything... the pain inside her increased with every heart beat. The man's eyes were locked on her, his gaze shifted to Aviendha, and back to her. Only his eyes moved, from her to Aviendha and from Aviendha to her. He made no sound.

A sound behind her made her spin back. Birgitte stared at the man with wide eyes. The shock she sensed within her was something she never felt before. Relief surged in her warder in waves that seemed to drown everything else. Relief! And another thing, Elayne couldn't put a name to it, it was as if someone promised Birgitte that everything would be fine. And she believed him. "I should have known that this was some kind of a trick." Birgitte said, her voice was warm, as if she talked to an old friend. "It fits you, doesn't it?" She smiled at him, "Elayne, may I present you Lews Therin Telamon, The Lord of the Morning, The Prince of Dawn." She made a strange bow, left hand on left knee, her right hand gesturing in invitation.

"Birgitte," There was no surprise in the man's voice. "It's... interesting to see you here." He seemed to shiver, and then he melted. Rand stood where the man - Lews Therin? - was. "I haven't expected anyone to recognize me." The smile faded, he returned his eyes to Aviendha, then it slid back to her.

Elayne stared at him, she hated herself for doing it, but she searched the signs of madness in him. She found none of it. Save the shifting look, as if he couldn't decide who to look at. Her or Aviendha. He wore the same black clothes as the other man wore. But he had no pins on his collar. On the left side of his breast there was a red blood circle. In the center of it float the ancient symbol of the Aes Sedai. It did float, it must have been the One Power. Rand's eyes lied on her, blue and gray eyes. A troubled look in them. But that was the only sign of nervousness in him. He was so beautiful that she barely held herself erect. The relief she felt was almost enough to make her faint. She realized how she looked at him, her eyes wide open, smiling at him like a child. She couldn't erase the expression from her face.

Aviendha was the first to overcome her shock. Nynaeve still stared at him, with eyes that seemed to be ready to fall off her face. She jumped to her feet and glid to him. Rand watched her coming close, without moving a muscle, he seemed to be drawing back. He rose a hard, "Aviendha," he started, his voice were... hesitant. That was all he had time to say. Aviendha slapped him, as hard as she could. Elayne winced, she knew how strong Aviendha was. Rand's head barely moved. Aviendha rose another hand, and Elayne thought she might slap him again. Rand thought so too. She could see it in his eyes. She began to move to Aviendha, her knees were so week she could barely stand. Birgitte was on her side in a heartbeat. Steadying her. Aviendha sent two hands and caught Rand by his ears. Elayne wondered why he hadn't stopped her, he could. Aviendha was strong, but Rand was stronger. Aviendha pulled Rand's head down. Pulling his mouth to her, she kissed him. Rand hadn't moved away, he couldn't, Aviendha had a good grip on his ears. And Elayne doubted if he would have had he could.

Aviendha released his ears, apparently making the same decision. She put her hands on his neck, hugging him. Rand's arms went around her. Embracing Aviendha. Elayne moved her eyes away. It wasn't that she was jealous in Aviendha, not anymore. But she wanted to be in the other woman's place. Birgitte gave her a comforting look. "Go out," Elayne said, "and take Nynaeve with you." Nynaeve hadn't overcome her shock yet. But now Elayne thought she had another reason to be stunned. She looked at Aviendha as if she never saw her before. Birgitte stared at her for three heartbeats. Then she nodded. She practically had to push Nynaeve out of the room. By the time they were out and the doors were closed again, Elayne had calmed herself. Rand was still kissing Aviendha. Finally, he rose his head, taking a deep breath. Aviendha lied her head on his chest, breathing hard. "The last time you kissed me, Aviendha." Rand said pleasantly, "You made me chase you half way around the world and run five miles in a snow blizzard first. Did anything happened that I don't know?"

"I thought you have gone mad, or worse!" Aviendha said, her voice still held the fear Elayne felt herself. "I thought... I..." Elayne stared at Aviendha, her eyes wide. The Aielwoman had tears in her eyes. And she blinked, trying to hide it. Rand saw it too. He rose Aviendha face at him with one hand, the other still held Aviendha close to him, he didn't seem to be ready to let go, forever, and kissed Aviendha again. It was even longer this time. Or so Elayne felt, she hadn't divert her eyes this time. She was surprised to find out that she hadn't felt that stab of jealously this time. She still wanted to be in Aviendha's place. But she hadn't felt it half as strong as before.

Elayne cleared her throat, for the third time, before they took any notice of her. Aviendha moved back, Rand's hands slid off Aviendha's shoulders, regretfully. He didn't even have the manners to blush. The red in his cheeks came from Aviendha's slap.

Rand smiled at her, her mouth tightened. He had no right to smile at her that way. And that with him still holding Aviendha's shoulder. But she couldn't make herself angry about him. Simply couldn't! But there was something she could do. Something she promised herself she would do. She had to force herself to walk to him, a part of her wanted to run to him.To be sure that he wasn't a dream. To hug him, to be sure that he was... sane. That last thought came in a grimace, she didn't like thinking about it. She embraced saidar, and readied waves of Spirit. She sent a hand to his face. He would be her warder. She hadn't realized that she was smiling at him, a soft smile. She wove the flows.

The air against her was fire. Every breath was agony, every heartbeat sent weaves of pain through her. Saidar surged in her, feeling her till she thought she would burst from that flow of light. And more. She was reaching her limit. Despite the pain, she tried to stop it, she failed. Something fell between her and the source. A wall that cut her off the light that filled her. A shield. But not one she could feel. Rand's shield. The pain began to fade almost immediately. And she rose to her knees, she wasn't sure she could stand. She was ten feet away from Rand. He was on the floor, breathing as hard as she was. His face was agonize. Aviendha was by his side. Sending worried glances at her, and demanding to know what happened. Rand hadn't even noticed her, he was too busy cursing. Every curse she had ever heard, and many she hadn't. She thought he might have a better control on the dirtier parts of the language than Mat had. As if he had read her mind, he shifted to the Old Tongue. She didn't even know he knew it.

She was on her feet, leaning on the wall. When Birgitte rushed in, a long dagger, almost a short sword, in each of her hands. "What happened, I felt... " She began, she stared at her for a heartbeat, than moved her eyes to Rand. Readying herself to attack him. Rand stopped cursing, he took Aviendha's hand and stood. Obviously leaning on her. It was a sign to his weakness, she doubted if he could stand by his own. She thought she could, barely. He felt it worse than she did, whatever it was. "Next time you will try to kill me, Elayne," Rand said, with only a touch of anger in his voice. His eyes burned a hole into her, "use a dagger."

"What happened, Elayne?" Aviendha said, helping Rand to sit on a carved chair. "You wove something, and..." She seemed to be searching for the words.

"She tried to do something impossible." Rand said, his face was still pale. But every sign of pain was gone from him, how he managed it she had no idea. She still felt her skin burning. "Saidar will let you guide it, you can't force it to do something. It should have been the first lesson you had to get in the White Tower. It will kill you if you will misuse it. What did you tried to do?" Birgitte held a hand for her, but she nodded, for now, even with Birgitte's help, she doubt if she could make three steps without falling flat of her face.

Elayne wiped a tear from her eyes, her body still ached. "You had to thank the pain, Elayne." Rand said grimly, she hadn't realize she said it aloud. "You are lucky to be only shielded, I tried to sever you. A reflex your sisters were quite good at teaching me." His voice was full of bitterness. Sever, the thought echoed in her mind. That was how they called stilling in the Age of Legends. Never again to touch the True Source. She shivered. This time, Birgitte didn't bother to see if she want her help or not. She carried her to a chair near Rand as easily as she would have carried a little boy.

"What were you trying to do?" Aviendha asked worriedly, "It almost killed you and Rand both." Birgitte glared at her, her warder never believed that she could take care of herself crossing the street.

"Birgitte, there is nothing here for you to guard from. Will you leave us?" It was an order, and surprisingly, Birgitte obeyed.

"Guard her." She said to Rand, just before she left.

"With my life and more." Rand's murmur was direct to himself alone, not to Birgitte. But she heard it, and Aviendha too.

With a groan, Rand rose from the chair, only to seat on the floor. He motion Aviendha to seat too, Aviendha never sat on a chair. For some reason, it surprised her that Rand was so polite. She hadn't expected it, though she should have. And looked at her, "What were you trying to do, Elayne?"

"I was trying to bond you, as my warder." She said, seating, falling, on the floor. "It... didn't work quite well." To say the least, if Rand wasn't shielding her, she would have burned out. Aviendha lied a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she hadn't took her eyes from Rand. The woman looked... eager.

"You tried to do what?" Rand's voice was sharper than any sword. He seemed to be looking inward for a moment. "Allana..." It was barely a whisper. "She it gone." He threw back his head and laughed. That rich laugh she remembered so well. "Light, she is gone!" He looked at her, "You made me a great service today, Elayne. Greater than you know. And as for the bonding," She didn't even saw him raising. All she was aware of was that she was suddenly standing, feet dangling a foot in the air. And Rand arms were around her. He kissed her, as thoroughly as she had ever been kissed.

Warmth flowed into her, a little like the light of saidar, only stronger, softer somehow. Light that filled her to bursting, and beyond. She was a ray of light, dancing over a frozen lake. She was a flower, a rose, warming itself in the sun. Then it faded, all the warmth in her simply disappeared. And with it, every last shred of pain remain in her from that accident. In the back of her head, two sets of emotions lied. One, the familiar one, was Birgitte's emotion. The other one... Rand's emotion, she was suddenly aware of how good he felt, holding her. She could sense his pleasure, his surprise, his joy. But more than all, she could feel love, as strong as she felt to him. But there were other feelings also. He was pain from head to toe. How he ignored it, how he kept it hidden so well, she had no idea, the pain was fading, it already faded completely in her, but it lingered on him. The pain she had caused him, it made her want to cry. She wanted nothing to hurt him. Nothing!

But although the pain was beginning to fade from him, one pain remained. His side, it felt like fire. As if the pain he felt at the moment of stabbing never ceased. In horror, Elayne understood that that was what happened. There were tears in her eyes, for him. How could he live like this, she felt him pushing the pain away, ignoring it. How could he do it? How could he smile at her so, full with pleasure, when his side burned like fire? He saw the tears in her eyes, he understood. He hugged her even more tightly, "What cannot be changed must be endure, Elayne. The Wheel weaves as it will." It didn't help her, she still wanted to cry. But she understood, she thought she loved him more for this acceptance. If she could love him more than she already did. She was still floating in the air, saidin, strangely, it didn't made her even slightly nervous. It should have, although Rand was the one channeling it. She touched Rand's cheek. Aviendha's hand was marked in red, and she could feel the pain of it. Aviendha was very strong, but he ignored this too. So many pains in him, so many he ignored. She didn't understand how he could do it. She wanted to cure every last pain in him, every last one of them. He deserved none of them, he was a good man, the best she had ever met. And that she loved him didn't affected her judgment in this area. Although the light knew that it did in many others.

Rand's hand wiped the tears from her eyes, gently, his touch burned on her skin. Aviendha watched this, smiling approvingly. Approvingly! How the woman did it, Elayne had no idea. When she was in Aviendha's place... Rand laughed suddenly. For no reason she could see. He laid her on the floor gently. He still grinned to himself when he took a step back and made a bow. Finer than she thought he could, a flower appeared in his hand seemingly from the air, blue and green and yellow and white. "I promised you a flower, Elayne. In the Stone." Was all the explanation he offered. She took the flower, the trembling in her hands had to be the affect of the bonding. She didn't tremble because of Rand. She didn't shiver because what the man felt inside. This time, the tears in her eyes were of joy, not of grief. I can't spend my life crying about everything Rand does, no matter how sweet it's. She thought to herself, she was acting as bad as Nynaeve. It was beautiful rose, cold as metal in her hands, and as she watch, the color of it shifted, blue becoming white, green darkening into black, white becoming yellow, and yellow turned into red.

"Thank you." Was all what she could say. But it wasn't enough, she crossed the space between them, and kissed him, a noticeably longer kiss than the first one. Noticeably more pleasurable than the first one. It was the first time she could feel Rand's side of the kiss. It must be as strange to him as it was to her. An eternity passed before she found herself leaning on Rand's chest, breathing hard. He said something, but she didn't bother hearing it. She was aware to her arms around him, and his around her. The sound of his heart beating, the sound of his breath, his smell, everything else was ignored. Rand didn't seem to mind. Part of her mind was amused, the method of bonding Rand had chosen was peculiar to say the least. "It's a strange way to bond someone." She said. Stepping away from him was harder than releasing saidar. And his hands lingered on her shoulders for a moment, he didn't want to let go of her.

Rand shrugged, "It's the way the Asha'man use, the way they taught me, it works well enough." He smiled at her suddenly, "Besides, it had its... advantages." His mood shifted, as quick as a lightning. He became deadly serious suddenly. He looked at Aviendha, the Aielwoman came close as soon as she herself left Rand's arms. "Elayne wanted the bond, and Min forced it on me. But you have the choice, Aviendha. You can..." Aviendha didn't waited for him to finish.

"I... didn't knew this hurt you so." Aviendha said quietly some time later. Her hand almost touched Rand's side then snatched back. It pulsed with every breath he took. Elayne couldn't understand how Aviendha kept her calm so well. She still had to fight down tears. Maybe being an Aiel had something to do with this, Aiels were like warders in many ways. And Elayne had yet to see the warder that would complain if he had a spear in him. She didn't doubt that Rand could be a warder as good as Lan. A warder to me, so I thought, but now I'm the one who is bonded. She thought, amused. Nothing seemed to be going as she planned, but on the other hand, it wasn't going too bad at all.

"What did you say, before, about Min?" Aviendha asked, Elayne had almost forgotten it. Min forced him to bond her.

Rand suddenly became cold, grim as death and twice as dangerous. "Seat! It's a long story." He said, "And not a pleasant one." He added in a murmur barely heard."You will not believe me," he began. "Light, I don't know if I believe it myself. But I've to. I hear a... voice, in my mind. Lews Therin's voice." Elayne heart froze, Aviendha's face became blank. Rand winced, muttering something she was glad she hadn't fully heard. Something changed in him, she wasn't aware of it until it was gone. A turning of Rand's stomach. A rotten taste on his tongue. The Dark One's taint. It was gone now, he released saidin. The small knot of emotion in her head became... dizzy, fading quickly. Then it became normal again. "I'm not holding saidin." He said, before she even began to form the question. "You felt it, haven't you? Like there are two of me?" He didn't wait to their nods, and reluctance ones at that. "It happen every time I grab the Source, or release it. As if not only I grasping saidin. It must be Lews Therin!" He sounded as if he wasn't certain, as if he wanted them very much to believe it. "It's not the taint. I know this, at least." He closed his eyes shut. Pain that had nothing to do with the body well in him, "I remember being mad. It was nothing like this." The pain was push aside, ignored but not forgotten. He opened his eyes. Elayne was ashamed in herself, and in Aviendha too. None of them made any move to comfort him. The pain in him was as real as any knife wound. If only she could understand why.

"Do you mind, for once, to give me some privacy?" Rand growled suddenly, talking to the air. His eyes were unfocused, he seemed to be trying to look into his own skull. One of Rand's hands began to tremble. Inside, Rand was full of hate and rage and fear. Grief and sorrow, pain and amusement! And half a dozen others she couldn't even name. Rand flowed to his feet, as if he had no bones in his body. "Come! Lews Therin has a... suggestion. I can show you him." She felt the dizziness in her head as he grasp the source. The air... shimmered for a moment, that was all. Rand took five steps forward. Elayne saw no difference whatsoever from where he was standing before and where he was standing now. "Come." He said again.

Aviendha rose slowly, and arranging her skirts, walked to him. She had a strange look on her face, Elayne thought she had the same on her own. She didn't thought that Rand was mad, but she couldn't accept what he was saying.

As soon as she reached Rand she stopped, aghast. "Tel'aran'rhiod!" She whispered. There was no mistaken in that feeling. "Rand, it's dangerous to be here in the flesh, the Wise Ones said that it can take away what makes you human." No one had ever ignored her as fully as Rand did. He stood, eyes closed, shaking. She counted twenty heartbeats before he opened his eyes and took a deep breath. Aviendha put a hand on her shoulder.

"The Wise One remember something from long ago. The memory had been twisted too much to be recognize." Rand said suddenly. He still had his eyes close, but he didn't seem to be shaking anymore.

"Some of us had came here, where anything we harmed in our madness was fixed." A voice said behind her. The voice Rand had, when he first entered her rooms. Using illusion.

"Elayne, Aviendha," Rand said, opening his eyes and pointing at a man that suddenly stood near him, "let me introduce you Lews Therin Telamon." The man looked like the form Rand had chosen, using that weave of illusion, as tall as Rand, with brown sad eyes and dark hair. Wearing strange cut cloth in brown and gold and red. The man bowed slightly. Smiling faintly.

Elayne watched the man nervously. She couldn't decide whatever he was real or not. It could be something that Rand had created. A simple thought was enough to create things here. But she knew it can't be so. The small knot of emotions in her head seemed to... the best word she could put on it was split. One for Rand, and a second one for the man Rand called Lews Therin. And Birgitte too. The man, she couldn't think about him as Lews Therin, not quite yet, seemed sane. Not at all like she expected. She blinked, the cloths the man wore were as fine as she had ever seen, but they were covered in dust. And there was more than one spot of blood on them. There was tiredness in the man's eyes, and sadness that echoed through the bond to him. "You're suppose to be mad." That was Aviendha, as forward as always. Elayne winced, waiting for the explosion that must follow this words. Rand felt very amused for some reason, though he showed none of it. Lews Therin looked at the Aielwoman, simply staring at her. A chair appeared behind him, carved ivory and ebony, above his head the ancient sigh of the Aes Sedai shined.

"He is," Rand said quietly, "as much as he was when..." Lews Therin didn't look at him, but Rand fell silent, though for a heartbeat only. "The reason, though, is different." The sadness and grief in the older man hadn't weakened, maybe they couldn't. The grief had the feeling of something that never ceased, as if it was always there, always would be there.

"Grief can drive a man mad." Lews Therin said, his voice was deeper than Rand's, in a different accent. But the way he said it, the silent sureness, almost commanding tone, was so much like Rand's that Elayne blinked, stunned. "Especially after... what I've done." The only different was the sadness. Compared to Lews Therin's voice, to his tone. A fade sounded cheerful. "When you're going to tell them? You did the right thing, although I doubt if they would think so, but they have the right to know. They must know."

"Later." Rand said, glaring at Lews Therin, the man ignored the glare. How he could do this, Elayne had no idea, Rand's eyes burned. And he was full of fury to bursting. "I hadn't come here for this. Later will do."

Lews Therin shrugged to this, as if this wasn't important. Elayne could almost feel something passing between the two of them. "Then why have you came here? To show them I'm real?" The smile on Lews Therin's lips seem out of place. It quickly became to a snarl. "Or to prove this to yourself? Am I a creation of the madness?" The man spread his hands wide, "A madman's illusion?" He shifted his look to her and Aviendha, none of them said a word, Elayne doubted if she could make a sound. She barely breathed. "Maybe there is some justice in the turning of the wheel." He said. "The reason he brought you here, save from making you believe that he isn't mad, yet," Her heart missed a beat to the last word, "Is that he needs you. Loves you, both of you. And you need to see something." Rand gaped at him. Surprise and pain surging in him. Lews Therin felt... determined.

"See what?" Aviendha asked, she wasn't afraid. Aviendha was far braver than she herself was. Far braver than she could ever be.

"The day you died in," Rand said, his voice held no emotion. He looked, and felt, sane. "I hope it can be delayed, but..." He sighed, so tired suddenly that he barely stood erect. Lews Therin lied a hand on his shoulder, murmuring something that only Rand heard. Rand nodded, whatever Lews Therin said, it helped, a little. A window appeared in the air to their left. Fifteen feet tall and twice as wide. And she saw... Aiels was running through a gateway, a gateway into utter blankness. She recognized the place, the outer side of the garden when she first met Rand. There was seemingly no end to the column of Aiels spreading wide all across the gateway. Some of them began to climb on the wall. Rand and Aviendha passed through the gateway, the woman in the window had a hunted look in her eyes. Rand's face were ice. Mat followed them, holding that strange spear of him. The gateway closed behind Rand. "It's the day you killed Rahvin." Aviendha said, Elayne glanced at Rand, his back was firmly turned to the window. And his emotions were unreadable.

"Look!" Lews Therin commanded. And so they did. Lightnings stroked out of cloudless skies. In the window Rand looked up, his face were stone, his eyes fire. Something appeared in the air above him, a disturbance in the air. Spinning slowly. Lightinings that stark the disturbance were gone. But it was already too late. Elayne saw the lightning landing, directly on a man holding a harp. Mat had been hit by another. Aviendha stared at the window in horror. In it, another Aviendha lied on the ground, staring at the sun with open eyes. Rand stood three feet away. The disturbance still spreading above him. It took some time before he looked around him, he knelt near Aviendha, touching her cheek momentarily. His face, when he rose, was something that Elayne would always remember. She would face a Myradraal gladly, shielded, rather than see that expression on Rand's face. The prophecies of the Dragon said that he would break the world again, by the look on his face on the window Rand had made, he was eager to do so. "It wasn't so!" Aviendha said urgently. "It wasn't so at all! You were there, and then you weren't! This hadn't happened, Rand al'Thor! It hadn't!"

"It did," Rand's voice sounded distant. The window winked out. "Rahvin killed you, the day I killed him. You were dead." He laughed suddenly, bitterly. As if he couldn't help it, the sound of it made Elayne cringed. "Balefire," Rand's voice was dead, "balefire erases the pattern. Erases the actions one had done. Only the memories remains."

"You don't explain it very well." Lews Therin said, surprisingly, he sounded... calm. "Balefire burns threads of lives out of the pattern, the problem is, it burns it so strong that it burns the thread back in time. The result is that the actions of the one you killed using balefire were erased from the pattern. It can be dangerous, very dangerous. Every time you burn a thread, the pattern is weakening. In the War of Shadow, the pattern nearly unraveled itself." Lews Therin stopped suddenly. "It might be better if you will show them." He said.

Rand stared at him, his eyes were blue gray stone, slowly burning. He let out a long, ragged breath, before nodding slowly. Inside... he was trembling, shivering, a branch on the point of break of snapping. The window appeared again. Rand was on hands and knees, his eyes still had that look, as if he searched for something to destroy. Not caring at all if he would be destroyed too. He rose to his feet unsteadily, his eyes searched for something. Then he rose both his hands, and a ball of... light, jumped of his hands. Solid light, molten fire, brighter than the sun. Twice as wide as Rand was tall. Sweeping upward, everything it touch was simply... gone. The window was gone. The air shimmered once again, and Rand strode through it, face like stone. Eyes that burned through everything he looked at. Inside, there was a tight bundle of pain, stronger than any pain of the body. And this, he couldn't push aside, couldn't ignore.

As soon as Rand took three steps and Lews Therin, with a surprised expression, simply vanished. Rand exited Tel'aran'rhiod, Aviendha was the first to follow, but Elayne was the first to reach Rand. "Now you know what I'm afraid of." He had his back turned to them. "I've seen you die, Aviendha. There is nothing I wouldn't do to stop this. The actions erased, but the memories remain. And I will not have it again. Never!" He turned to look at them, determination, eagerness, anger, fury and grief welling up in him. Ready to explode. "The bond, it had a trap, woven into it. If forces you to obey. Ilyena died because she refused to leave. I will not have you dead for being to brave to know when it's time to leave. I... I..." his voice, utterly cold and commanding at the beginning, began to falter. Elayne came to him. Hugging him, and Aviendha was there too. Holding him up, looking at him, she thought he might begin to cry. Light, there is so much pain in him. So much he never let out. So much he endured, how much more can he endure without snapping? She hadn't realize she was humming. An old song Lini used to sing her while brushing her hair. A song its words she didn't  remember anymore. It always calmed her, and now, it seem to help Rand, just a little bit. But every bit was important now. Every bit to keep Rand sane. Blinking, Elayne chased the tears from her eyes. It was no time for crying. She could cry later. But she knew she might as well cry over Rand's corpse all too soon.

Aviendha stood on the dais in the Grand Hall in Elayne's palace. It took a true effort, only standing. She felt like her muscles might simply tear her body apart. In the last three hours she had more shocks than in all her life. Rand had seen her dead, no wonder he had been so cold afterward. Simply thinking of him harmed was enough to bring tears to her eyes. And he had seen her dead, she didn't doubt it, not anymore. No wonder he became so cold after he killed Rahvin. On top of Lanfear's attack, she could understand why he had try to avoid her. But that was only the beginning, he held no secrets from them, none at all. She had been practically on his heels ever since he reached the Three-Fold land. And he kept so many secrets from her even so.

Asmodean, the thought chilled her heart. She had knew the man, talked to him, even shouted at him once. She could hardly believe it. And now the man was free, Rand thought he might have broken Lanfear's shield. If so, only Rand was strong enough to face him. She didn't know when she began to think about him as only Rand. It seemed important, for some reason. And other secrets, so many of them, he kept so many things hidden, so many pains buried. And trusted them enough to let them know every last weakness in him. She was becoming soft. Light, any moment, she might start crying! And knowing about Asmodean was only the beginning. Elayne had flashed in rage stronger than Aviendha believed possible as soon as Rand mention Allana, and what she had done to him. At least it was gone now, Elayne's attempt to bond him severed the bond to Allana. Neither Rand nor Elayne knew why.

Light, she had lived next to him all this time, despite him trying to avoid her, she knew almost everything he had done. Following him without him being aware of it. And he had kept so many secrets that she hadn't even began to suspect it. Not even in the beginning, when she thought she hated him she thought him as less than he was. A very complex man, to do all he had done. A very complex man, and one with more self control one would expect to find in any Wise One. Elaida, the thought tighten her mouth. If she ever laid her hands on the woman... she didn't know what she will do. She couldn't think about something that would fit what had been done to Rand. He wasn't... forthcoming about the details of his prison. But she knew him enough to learn as much of what he hadn't said as she learned from what he had said. So many secrets, so many that he had hidden from everyone, maybe even from himself. But he had hidden nothing from her and Elayne. How much it had costed, to bare himself so for them? She couldn't see Rand, she could feel him being close. But she had the feeling he stared at her, he felt worried. For her, she was sure of. For some reason, it didn't made her angry at him as it had before. It made her feel warm inside.

Elayne sat on the Lion Throne uncomfortably. It wasn't hers, not yet. Aviendha didn't pretend that she understood the wetlanders customs, they had the strangest customs one could think of. But apparently, seating on it violated customs and laws. Not until she was crowned as the queen of Andor. Elayne was angry on Rand, she didn't like to admit that she needed his help. Rand meant her to seat on the Lion Throne, and the Sun Throne too, and today he was about to make sure she will.

It wasn't something Aviendha could even begin to understand, Elayne wasn't the only one who wanted to be the queen. And the other women who also wished for the crown might still be able to win it. Today, Rand mean to make sure they wouldn't. He smiled saying it, the same smile he showed on his face, facing Lanfear. They will learn how... interesting the Game of the Houses can be, with the One Power involved. He refused to tell them what he meant by this, he said he didn't want to spoil the surprise.

"You will refuse for help only because you're too proud?" Aviendha said in a murmur, just loud enough so her near-sister could hear her. Elayne didn't answer, but she nodded, sourly. That was something she liked about Elayne. She would admit if she was wrong. And Rand was very... forward, explaining her exactly what he had to do in order to keep the throne empty for her. She wanted to shiver, remembering his eyes, enormous white hot fury, mastered by willpower as strong as she had ever met.

Many eyes stared at Elayne, and at her, and Birgitte and Nynaeve. Almost every noble of Andor was present, and many eyes held fury, sliding on Elayne, in a white and red dress, seating on the Lion Throne. All the nobles were gathered here since The Dragon Reborn wished to meet Queen Elayne of Andor. None missed the title given to Elayne, they blamed it on Elayne. Although it was Rand's men who made this statement. Those Asha'man made her wish she had a dagger in her hands. At least they weren't here now, they brought the nobles, and were gone. "Where is he?" Elayne said, quite loudly, "I do not mean to wait here forever." Aviendha could feel Rand, standing ten feet from the dais, hidden by flows of saidin. Elayne could feel him too, but the words were a sign, for Rand. Almost immediately fire flared in the center of the Hall. A ball of fire, ten feet in size, as hot the sun and twice as bright. Hanging in the air, it flared in every color possible. Aviendha closed her eyes, the light was blinding. She counted fifteen heartbeats before the light began to fade.

Rand stood in the Grand Hall, he was clad in blood red coat and night black breach. The sword she had given him was hanged on his hip, as if it was a part of him. No, it was a part of him, used as naturally as he had used his hand. The buckle that shone on his belt in red and gold was also a gift from her. She stared at him, surprised, he was calm. She felt only calmness in him. The soft, strong calmness that didn't even waver ever since he broke in their arms. The left side of his face was clad on shadow, but he was standing in no shadows. His right hand was also dark. Aviendha could hear ripples of murmurs all across the hall. The sense of fear filled it, men that could channel had gone mad, and then they rotten alive. She forced herself not to flinch at the thought. It was clear what everyone must think. Even Nynaeve was pale around the eyes. Although Elayne had warned her that Rand knew how to use illusion. Birgitte said that in Lews Therin almost had a talent in illusions. He was far better than anyone else in the Age of Legends. She glanced at Elayne's warder, the fair woman was looked the same as she always did, in yellow wide breach, and blue coat. They didn't hide a secret from Rand too. Elayne said that Birgitte agreed that Rand would know who she is. Rand already knew, apparently. She still had trouble to think about the woman as the heroine from legends she enjoyed so much reading about. On the other hand, she had troubles thinking about the man she loved as two people that were one. Rand, or maybe Lews Therin, tried to explain it. But even he gave up after some time, there was too much they didn't know. It was somehow connected to the huge ter'angreal men had passed in order to be chiefs. At the end, even Elayne had to admit she didn't understood what Rand said, something about the ter'angreal being triggered to him. Not only to mark both his arms, but also to make him be Lews Therin. He sounded, and felt, amused, saying this. It hadn't worked quite well.

"I've heard rumors that you've gone mad." Elayne said, the sudden voice startled her. She barely stopped a grimace, she hadn't been paying attention. Light, she could almost smell the fear in the air. That was what Rand insisted Elayne would say.

Rand title his head, as if thinking. "Am I not?" He said finally, "Does it really matter for you, Elayne of Andor?" A smile that didn't touch his eyes appeared on his face. For the first time, Aviendha noticed how much he had changed, how much harder he became. It was like he was another man entirely, with them alone with him. "The taint has a... strange affect on me." He moved forward, behind him, Aviendha thought she caught a glimpse of something red and gold.

A young noble, maybe five years older than Rand. Muttered something, the only word she had caught was "Kinslayer". It had the sound of a curse. Rand stopped on his track, staring at the man. The left side of his face was clad in darkness. But a small sun suddenly came to life where his eyes should have been. Fury babbled in him in waves that erased everything else. Fury strong enough to burn the world. It was controlled in a heartbeat. And pushed aside, the calmness taken its place in another heartbeat. Rand walked the five steps between him and the young noble slowly. The man was about to faint. Pale face and wide eyes. "I didn't mean to..." He began, hysterically. Something leashed at him. A tail, two hands wide, and ten feet long. Gold and red snakelike skin. Wrapping around the young noble, lifting it from the ground easily. No one made a move, a sound. Aviendha thought all stopped breathing.

Rand grabbed the man's throat with his right hand, the blackness around it broke. It look much alike the tail. Sharp talons rose the man's head, he stared at Rand with wide eyes. There was no expression in Rand's face, eyes. He was cold, calm inside, with a hint of amusement. The fury still babbled in him, but it was controlled. Lews Therin's fury, Aviendha thought. "Rand al'Thor!" Elayne hissed, quivering with anger, not on Rand. It was Rand's anger she was quivering from. Aviendha felt it herself, as if it was her own. So strong, it could affect her, make her feel what he felt. "I will not allow murder! Not here! Not in my palace!"

Rand moved his gaze to her, the approval in him left no sign on his face. "I can always take him outside." He said, Elayne glared at him, or maybe it was the fool noble she was glaring at. Aviendha wasn't sure. The tail swung, the man floated in the air, crushing around one of the walls with a loud sound of bones snapping. "He will live." He said.

The tail was gone, the shadow wrapped around his hand again. He walked to the dais as if he had no bones in his body. Aviendha knew this walking, she heard warders talk about it. "A cat crossing the yard." It was called. She couldn't imagine a more arrogant way of walking. Rand stopped for a moment when he reached the dais. Then he climbed them, Elayne stood. Her face pale, eyes glaring. "Some of you trusted friends here," Rand began, no one could miss the emphasis in his voice, "are afraid that I will control you. That you will be a puppet under my control." This time, Elayne's anger was all hers. Rand had told her what he was about to say. But she still didn't like it one bit. "I swear this to you, and may the light be witness to this words, Queen Elayne of Andor. I promised to Dyelin that as soon as you will be crowned, I will leave Andor. I promise this to you, for as long as you rule Andor and wish it, I will never set a foot in Andor." The gasp that run through the Hall was half of surprise, half of relief. Some of the women, those who wished for the crown and the throne, were pale as snow. Aviendha smiled inside, it was brilliant, those noble hated Rand and feared him. They would do anything to keep him out of Andor. What Rand had just said promised that they would support Elayne. Aviendha wondered if anyone noticed the loophole Rand had left himself. Elayne would want him in Andor.

Rand turned and walked down the dais, as soon as he stood on the floor of the Grand Hall shadows envelop him. Fire blazed around him. He was a dead black figure, framed by white hot flame. The the fire burned the shadows away. And Rand was gone. Wrapped in saidin again, she could feel him coming closer to her. He lied a hand on her shoulder, quite pleased with himself. It was disturbing, in a way, not seeing it, in another, it was fascinating. Elayne must have said something, the nobles were leaving the room. Few looked at the young noble, unconsciousness on the floor. Nynaeve stared at him for a long moment, Nynaeve always wanted to heal everything. With a tug of her braid, she left the hall. Without once looking at the man again. He deserved what he got. As soon as the last man was outside the room, Rand unmasked himself. He had a pleased grin on his lips.

"What did he said," Elayne said, motioning at the man on the floor, "to deserve this?"

Rand smile faltered for a heartbeat. "He said enough. I will send one of the Asha'man to heal him. You will be able to trust him with your life, afterward."

"How far you trust the your Asha'man, Rand?" Aviendha said, they were dangerous. Rand told them what that man, Dashiva, had done.

"I left them to guard Min." Was all the answer she had got, this was all the answer she needed. He trusted them fully. She will have to learn to trust them too. At least, those Rand trusted. He rarely gave trust, and as far as she had seen, never put his trust on the wrong person. It wasn't a cheerful thought.

Rand wondered idly whatever he was mad, he thought he must be. In the back of his head, three knots of emotions pulsed. Three women he loved, so beautiful he could barely breath, staring at them. Three women that loved him enough that they agreed to share him. Rand couldn't even begin to understand how they agreed to this. As much as they could never even begin to understand how glad he was, no having to choose between them.

Of course that having all three in love with you had nothing to do with it. Lews Therin whispered wryly. He was sane, lately. Ever since he had bonded Min, ever since Min had forced him to bond her. Rand could lift her of the ground with one hand, never touching saidin once. But all Min had to do was to look at him through long eyelashes and he had given up. The bond had no affect on the mind, not as far as he knew. But Lews Therin had all but wrapped himself around the knot of emotions in the back of his head. And he hadn't flared out in rage ever since. One can grief only so much, Lews Therin said, responding to his thoughts. It's time to leave Ilyena behind. Rand hadn't believed him for a heartbeat. Had he been in Lews Therin place, merely thinking about it made him shiver, he wouldn't stop grieving as long as the wheel turned. Something had happened when he bonded Min, something that only became stronger as soon as he had Elayne and Aviendha too.

What are you hiding from me? He asked, what is it that you don't want to tell me? He received no answer, he expected none. Once again, Lews Therin concentrated on the knots of emotion. Directing all his attention to them. What are you doing? Rand asked, the man was doing something. Lews Therin had a knowledge far vaster than his own, in the One Power, and in other areas. He concentrated in the bonds.

Elayne, grimacing at him, still seating on the Lion Throne, worried and anger flashed in her. She had stumbled on her on feet before, and it left a bruise on her leg. The dress wasn't quite in her size, and she was angry about this too. But underneath it all, he could feel her love to him. Warming her, warming him. Elayne, so beautiful he wanted to kneel to her, a dangerous thought. You could never win a lost ground to a woman. And already she could twist him to her will all too easily.

Aviendha, he could feel the weight of his hand on her shoulder, she was comforted by his touch. Lews Therin laughed at the thought. Rand almost wished Lews Therin would be mad again, he had a tongue that could be even more acid than Aviendha's when she was angry about him. And he knew almost everything he thought about. Shaking the thoughts away, he felt his way to Aviendha, listening was the best word he could find to what he was doing. Letting Aviendha's feeling fill him. Until there was so little difference between what he felt and she did that it barely mattered. She loved him too, but she was also afraid, for him, he thought. Once, the thought might have amused him, not anymore. He couldn't make himself laugh for her worries. Nothing that he could find would interest Lews Therin. He tried to search deeper, listen harder, there was something in her that troubled him. Something that he couldn't understand. Why would she feel so pleased with herself, and at the same time, strange worried. Something she pushed away, trying to ignore it. This at least, wasn't because of him. He had no idea how he knew it. He simply knew. He was surprised to find that she felt something that had no connection to him. Everything in the world seemed to turn around him lately. Aviendha, with eyes that were green and blue at the same time, and red fire hair and a temper as fiery.

Min, the bond hadn't lessened as his bond to Allana had been. He could never thank Elayne enough for releasing him from Allana. But it was still far off, dim. She felt troubled, but at the same time, at her ease. Maybe she was reading, she often felt so, reading one of Herid Fel's books. She spend as much time with those books as she did with him. He knew it was foolish, to be angry on a book, but he couldn't help it for his life. The worst of it, Min knew it, and she took advantage on it. He could picture her to himself without even trying. Deep dark eyes, and a hair as dark, hanging in ringlets to her shoulders. Min, with a light of amusement shining in her eyes constantly and a that small smile that made her so beautiful in his eyes.

"Rand?" Elayne sounded worried, she felt so, too. "Are you... fine?" Sane. He realized that he was standing, eyes unfocused, for a long time. Aviendha had stepped away. Looking at him with unreadable expression.

"I'm fine, I was just thinking." Birgitte looked at him amused, as if she hadn't believed him, he had hard time thinking about her as Birgitte, part of him wanted to name her Teadra. Lews Therin was stunned at the sight of her, to say the least. And he himself no less. He would have to have a long talk with her, and the sooner he will do it, the better it will be. "How long before you can be crowned?" He asked Elayne, he wanted it to be done with. After Andor, she could have Cairhien too. And save him from all the troubles ruling lands he never wished for. Of course, he still had Illian, but he left strict orders for the Council of Nine. He trusted them, to some extent, with Illian, at least.

"In a week, I think." Elayne answered, "It's not something that can be done hastily. Nor something that you can change." Her eyes were full of fury, he ignored it. She would refuse to ask for his hand if she was hanging from a cliff by fingernails. And she didn't like him helping her with something she thought she alone should be able to handle. There was no use in pointing that she was wrong.

"Good." He said, "Then you can spare some time for visiting my... home." He wanted to say grave, but both Elayne and Aviendha had heard enough for today. No need to hurt them more. Light, I can't remember the last time I cried that was. Like a child, too much pain he had tried to hide came to the surface. He couldn't control it, but couldn't regret it either. They had to know him as who he truly was. Not as they wished him to be.

"The Two Rivers?" Aviendha asked, startled. "What do you have..." He put a finger on her lips, silencing her. She bite him, not hard, but strong enough so he would know what her current opinion of the car'a'carn was.

"Not the Two Rivers." He could protect the place he had grown on, at least that would be saved, if not anything else in the world. He would take the troubles of the world into the Two Rivers. Maybe it would be safe, maybe. "Come." Birgitte looked at him questioning. And he nodded curtly, she would go too, he trusted her as much as he trusted Elayne. Although for a very different reasons. Trust is death, but none can trust no one. Give your trust carefully, and never let anyone be on your guard unwatched. Lews Therin whispered, and then he was gone again, back into observing the bonds. Rand took this advice to heart, but he still wondered what Lews Therin was doing. What could be so fascinating about the bonds that Lews Therin would forget himself completely that way was something Rand wasn't able to understand.

He drew more of saidin, enough to make a gateway, and hesitated, their might be dangerous for them. The flows formed, as if by themselves. And a gateway began to turn, not too close, he had to be careful. Not of them, he could trust Birgitte with his life, and Elayne and Aviendha with far more. More than he could trust himself. He had to be careful for them. His... home might not be welcoming for them.

He passed through first, and each of the women followed him. Each with very different expression. Birgitte walked through the gateway without a sign to be anything but calm. Elayne, that came eagerly, curious almost replacing the anger in her mind. And Aviendha, that looked at the gateway for a moment and blushed faintly. She had done so before, blushing, that is. Not looking at him that way, that look she gave him now made him feel... troubled.

Aviendha passed through the gateway, slightly red faced. She wondered what Rand would have said had she told him what she was thinking about. Nothing, she thought, he had changed so much from the man I once knew. And not all the changes were on the good side. This changes will have to go, she decided. She will not have the man she was in love with walk around half the time with a mood fitting to death bed. She will also have to... She dismissed all the thought of the future, she had yet to meet Min. She wouldn't share Rand with a woman she couldn't love as much as she did Elayne. She doubt if Min was a woman she wouldn't be able to love. Elayne loved Min, and she trusted her. Rand loved Min too, as much as he did her and Elayne, apparently. She could feel love in him, underneath everything else. Always existing, for her, for Elayne, and for this woman Min. She knew Rand better than she knew anyone else. Better he knew himself, she thought sometimes. She had to admit that she knew him better than she knew herself. She trusted his judgement, he wouldn't fall in love with...

"Ta'veren." Rand said suddenly. And she gave a start, looking at him. He had this far off feeling in him. Maybe he was talking to Lews Therin. You accepted what the pattern wove for you, you didn't tried to fight it. It was a lesson Rand thought her, far better than any of the Wise One could. And she had to accept that the man she loved was actually two men. Both real, and one that was older than the mountains. Ta'veren, she thought, half amused, half desperate, it was a ta'veren twist of the pattern that made fall in love with you, Rand al'Thor. What had the pattern destine to you? Ta'veren were woven far more strictly into the pattern than others, and had the pattern required it, Rand could fall in love with any milkheart wetlander that the pattern wished. "Stop!" Rand ordered, and she barely stopped herself before bumping into him. "There are traps woven here, I need to adjust them to you." For the first time, Aviendha looked around, they were in a huge hall, huge indeed, maybe ten times the size of any sept. Clans could be comfortably here. She thought, stunned. The hall ended in the distance, maybe ten or fifteen miles away. And to her right it linger for at least three miles. To her left, she thought it must be ten miles until she saw a wall. The ceiling was about twenty feet above the floor. There was a door about every fifty feet. All around the perimeter. She couldn't believe humans could actually build such thing. But the floor, the wall, everywhere she looked at, were far too smooth to be made by nature. Far too smooth to be do by any human too.

"The One Power," she said, "this was build with the One Power, wasn't it?" But even so, the size of the task amazed her, who would build such a large place, and why.

"Of course," Rand said lightly, too lightly. There was sweat on his face, and she thought he might be throwing up any moment. Saidin, what it's like, to want to vomit every time you touch the true source? "How else could I do it? This was only a mountain not a week ago."

"A mountain?" Elayne asked, "Where are we?" Rand was silent for some time, ignoring everything. Then he tremble, and let out a deep sign.

"Done." He said, "Now the traps will know you." He turned his eyes to Elayne. "You said something? I wasn't listening." He was tired inside, exhausted. Whatever the traps he set here. They must be the deadliest he could think of. She didn't even want to imagine what they might do. Unpleasant and nasty to the beginning, that was how Rand always was, to his enemies alone. She couldn't even start thinking about what he might have done without shivering. He could think of the most dreadful things in the worlds sometimes, or so it seemed.

"I asked, where are we?" Only a hint in her voice to anger, she felt the tiredness in Rand too. She must have, and she had to understand what it meant. Aviendha never thought Rand weak in the Power. She had seen him doing things that were beyond even Nynaeve, far beyond. And it wasn't the lack of knowledge that would hinder Nynaeve if she will ever try to compete him. He was maybe twice Nynaeve strength, maybe more. And what he had just done had left him exhausted. It was something she never saw. In Cairhien, she saw him channeling for hours upon hours. She could estimate the amount of power he was drawing, even with the aid of the angreal he had. He was strong.

"The traps here are nasty things, dead is the only thing you don't have to fear they would do to you, Aviendha." Rand said, as if he had read her mind. Not the first time he had done so, but every time it startle her anew. It wasn't fair for him to be able to do so, guess what she was thinking about so accurately. "The strongest I and the Asha'man could create, the worst we could think of." He smiled at her, softly, gently. Light, but he was so beautiful. "We're on the place I've created dying. The place I've born on, Elayne." His grin reached his eyes, feeling them with warmth. Reminding her why she love that stubborn wool head so much. "The Dragonmount welcomes you."

Elayne opened her mouth, then closed it and swallowed hard. Her eyes were wide, and the light of saidar enveloped her. "My Lord Dragon," An angry voice said. Aviendha blinked, and blushed, she stared at Rand so hard she didn't even notice what was happening around her. In the Three-Folds Land, this could have cost her in her life. And near Rand it was usually more dangerous than it was in her home. The man who spoke was young, a year or two below Rand. With almost white skin, and huge eyes. It was the hair that attracted Aviendha's eyes. It was night dark, and was as long as Elayne's if not longer. Arranged in two braids, two silver bells were tied in the braids' end. As Rand was, the man was clad all in black. The coat was strange, with high collar and made of shining silk, dead black save two pins on his collar. One shaped as a small silver sword. And on the opposite side of his throat, a snakelike creature in red and gold. A dragon. Those two pins shined bright on the coat's darkness.

"Narishma," Rand said calmly, "is something wrong? You don't like being a full Asha'man?" He sounded amused, slightly. He certainly felt amused, not so slightly. He had to force a grin down.

"You know it's not this." The young man said, touching hastily the dragon pin on the left side of his collar, as if to remind himself it's there. "It's that... woman! I can't turn around without seeing her behind me! She make me nervous!" For some reason, this made Rand even more amused. "You said we mustn't harm them. But can't you tell her to stop this. She make me feel like a horse she is trying to decide if she want to buy." This time Rand actually barked a laugh, she couldn't remember when he laughed so freely.

Narishma blushed deeply. With his pale skin, it looked like he was on fire. Rand muted the laugh quickly, but the amused smile lingered on his lips. She didn't believe it was possible but the man blushed even more. "Why don't show her the more... " he hesitate for a heartbeat, looking at her and Elayne. He seemed to think again about what he was about to say. Choosing his words carefully. "Show her the more unpleasant side of what you are. Carefully. I don't want her to be too afraid of the Asha'man." Both she and Elayne noticed the slight empathize in Rand's words. Aviendha wanted to cry, what had happened to him? How could he have changed so much? Manipulating the fear and hate people had for him for his use. It wasn't the Rand she left behind. It was a much wiser Rand, and despite all the times she wished him to be like this. She regretted this wish, it was nothing like she hoped.

Narishma seemed to be thinking for a long moment, then he smiled at Rand. "I think I know what to do." He said, for the first time, he looked at her he gave her the impression that he was looking into the inside of her skull. He looked amused suddenly, his gaze slide to Elayne. He was amused, the smile on his face matched Rand's. Had matched, as soon as Rand noticed the look Narishma gave them the smile, and most of the amusement were gone. "My Lord Dragon." Narishma said, still smiling despite Rand's glare. He touched the left side of his breast with a fist. And walked away, the opposite direction they were heading for. She heard him muttering something about sharp knifes and terrorizing Aes Sedai before he was too far to hear anything.

Elayne took a deep breath, she was on the point of trembling. "It was one of your... men, wasn't he?" She said, disgust clear in her voice, Rand staggered back at her words, pained expression on his face. He looked like he had been kicked. "What he's doing here, I thought you said this is a safe place." Anger burned pain in Rand, fury that washed away any other emotion.

"What is the difference between me and Narishma, Elayne? If needed, Narishma would give his life for me, for you, I trust him! If it will be needed, I will trust him with your life! He's as loyal as I can ask him to be, and more!" The words were delivered by ice cold voice, frozen fire. Rand suddenly looked taller, his hands were clutches to fists. Knuckles white. Inside, he was empty, no emotion, no thought, only that twisting of his stomach, and the feeling she knew from herself, the ecstasy of holding the One Power. "What give you the right to be disgusted of him, Elayne Tarkand? What give you the right to see what he is and judge him for this alone?" Rand hasn't rised his voice, but Elayne flinched. Aviendha remembered seeing Rand so angry only once before. When he learned about Elayne's mother's death. She could feel the inside of him. The fury inside he forced aside. Not letting it touch him.
"Narishma is an Asha'man, a guardian, not one of my men. I price his life as much as I price mine! What gives you the right to look at him and see only a man that can channel? What gives you the right to look at me and not see the man that can channel?" The worst of all were his eyes, emotionless when they looked at Elayne. Empty of every emotion save the glint of fury that anyone that didn't know him enough would have missed. Without adding a word, he turned sharply from Elayne and trotted along one of the walls of the huge hall they were in.

"Lews Therin!" Birgitte's shout made him stop on his track. He turned slowly, glaring so hard at Birgitte that the woman paled. Elayne simply stared at Rand, as she herself did, unbelievingly. She had never expected him to be so... protective about those Asha'man of his.

"My name is Rand al'Thor." Rand said quietly, coldly, the coldness of the grave, the quietness of death.

Birgitte took a deep breath, but she hadn't backed away. Aviendha thought that had Rand stared at her that way she would run away. As far as she could, there was so much emotions in him suddenly. Disappointed and rage were obvious on his face, but there were others, emotions he controlled so tightly that were barely existing. Pain, sorrow and grief were the only one she recognized. And love, almost muted. Elayne closed her eyes, she leaned against the wall. Refusing to look at Rand, Aviendha understood her, she could face anything from Rand, even hate. She thought she could, but not disappointment. "Lews Therin," Brigitte started, then she had to take another breath. Rand's glare match Sorilea's best. "I need your help." The fair warder said.

"Later!" Rand growled, "Whatever you want, it can wait!"

He already began to turn, to walk away, Birgitte call chased him, "I've given you an oath, Lews Therin, and kept it. But you have given me your word! Would you break your oath?" Rand had stopped, as if he had walked into a stone wall. He turned to Birgitte, no longer glaring, or even staring hard. Simply looking at her, for thirty heartbeats he stood, while all the emotions that flood into him vanished.

He didn't run to Birgitte, but certainly walked fast. A step away from the warder, he made a small bow. Rand bowed to no one! "I gave my word." He said plainly, "Whatever your need is, if I can help it, I will." Elayne opened her eyes to look at the two of them with eyes as wide as they could go. For herself, Aviendha thought her eyes might fall to the floor, her mouth hanged open. She didn't seem able to close it. Rand gave them a single look, and took Birgitte's arm, there was a door fifteen feet away. Birgitte and he passed through, three breathes later, a very bemused black clad man walked, trotted, out. Even younger than Narishma. He also had those two pins on his collar. He gave them a hard glare, and opened a gateway. To another part of this place, so it seemed.

"Rand feels... like an arrow." Elayne said. Aviendha stared at her, not quite the words she would have chosen. He always seemed to be thinking about three dozens things at the same time. How he kept them all in order was beyond her, but he did. Now... he seemed to forget anyone else. Concentrating on Birgitte alone. She thought he might even forget them entirely. "It was foolish of me." Elayne said to her, "to talk to him like this, I mean."

"Elayne!" The gasp behind them made both her and Elayne jump. "I thought you're in Andor!" Laughing, the woman hugged Elayne. Elayne hugged her back, her smile almost as wide as the other woman's. Aviendha looked at the two of them in surprise. The other woman wore blue coat, soft cream blue. With a matching breaches. That made Aviendha open her eyes. She had never met a wetlander woman who wore breaches. Save those Cairhienins fools who claimed to adopt ji'e'toh. The woman had dark brown hair. And, as she stepped away from Elayne, Aviendha noted the big dark eyes, and the mouth that seemed natural laughing.

"Min," Elayne said finally, "it's so good to see you again." So this was Min, Aviendha stared at her with open interest now. She had to admit that the woman was beautiful, as beautiful as Elayne was. Far more than she herself was.

"And you must be Aviendha." Min said warmly, the woman looked at her, openly examining her. "I'm Min. You're... different than I've expected." That made her blink. What under the light the woman expected to? "What happened to Rand?" Min asked, "He feels... focused, more focused in something than I ever seen him before." Aviendha hadn't thought about it that way, it might be the best word to describe how Rand felt, in the back of her head.

"My Lady Min?" A man said, Aviendha hadn't even noticed him. Another one of those Asha'man. A graying man, he had the look of a soldier. Tough and hard as any clan chief she had met. "Do you still need me? I doubt if there is anything here to attack you, and I've my own study to resume." Min's face became slightly green.

"Of course, Flinn." She said quickly. "I... wouldn't want to keep you away from your studies." She swallowed hard. The man touched his heart with a fist, just like the other Asha'man did. Turning his look to Elayne, he bowed, slightly. And murmured something that made Elayne stand strait. Staring at him wide eyes. Before Elayne could say something, he was already beyond a gateway.

"He's from Andor!" Elayne exclaimed, "I know him! He was in the Queen Guard!" She looked as if she didn't believe to what she herself was saying.

"An Andoran with very strange habits." Min murmured, her face still pale. Aviendha didn't think that they were suppose to hear it.

"What do you mean?" Elayne asked, her face amazed. "I don't remember much of him, but I remember enough. He used to guard me while I was a little child."

"He is as interested in Healing as Nynaeve is." Min said, "But he wants to know everything about it. He need to know how muscles works and how the body heal itself. He can't learn it from human, so he goes to the blight every couple of days, and get few Trollocs to examine. Apparently, they are enough for him to study." Her face became even greener. "I once entered to his... study. I feel pity over the Trollocs."

"How many people Rand have here?" Elayne asked, "Surely not enough to fill all this space," That was as far as she went.

Min began to laugh, the green disappeared from her face. "There is Rand and me, and the two of you, of course. And the Asha'man, six of them, as of now. Rand said he may go to the Black Tower to get more of them." Elayne shivered to this, and Aviendha barely stopped hers. Min said it so... naturally. As if it was something common, men channeling. "And the Aes Sedai, of course, twelve of them. With the two of you, twenty two."

"Aes Sedai?" Elayne asked sharply, "What twelve Aes Sedai? You went with only nine."

Min bit her lower lip. "Why don't the three of us go to Rand's... my rooms and drink something?" She suggested, "I think you will need something to drink, it's a long story. And..." Her voice dwindled, Aviendha felt Rand coming closer rather than heard him. He was... worried wasn't quite the word. Concerned was the word that came to her mind.

Rand opened a gateway, and passed through without a word, he at least had the manner to leave the gateway open so they could follow him. "Rand," Min said as soon as she walked through the gateway, "what is wrong?"

They were in a dark room, lighten by half a dozen glowing balls of light. The walls were maybe twenty feet apart in width, and twice that in length. There wasn't even one window in the room, and only one door. By what she saw through it, it led to Rand's bedchamber. The thought alone made her blush, Light, She thought, can't I think about anything else? There were about two dozen chairs, simple dark brown wood. Without any gilding or carving. Three tables caught her attention. One was loaded with books, on the point of cracking from the weight it carried. The other table was almost as loaded, but with maps instead of books. "Wrong?" Rand wondered, he was standing near the third table, his back hiding what he was doing. Turning around, three cups float in the air at them, it looked like a reflex. Min caught hers as naturally as she breath. Elayne grab it with a grimace so vile Aviendha thought she might sour the wine. For herself, she had to force herself to take the cup. It smell of plums, and something else she didn't recognize. "Nothing is wrong, save that bloody wool headed woman that Elayne had bonded as warder." His voice, the way he moved, even the way he stood, his eyes never resting on one spot, spoke of immense tense. "Women!" He muttered, throwing himself into a dark chair. It had the sound of a curse.

Aviendha look at him, then quickly searched something else to talk about, anything save Birgitte. The way he was, it would only darken his mood. This had to be avoided. "What did Narishma want?" Was the first thing that came to her mind, at least the first that wouldn't darken Rand's mood. The first that she can make herself say aloud without dying blushing.

"Narishma?" Rand sounded surprised, but some of the tense faded, the smile returned to his face. He was much more beautiful, smiling. "Narishma has a problem, Aviendha. I've... taken some of those who... taken me prisoner under... my custody. As I did with those Salidar sent me." The hesitation were painful, he had to force the words out. "Beldeine is one of those I've brought here." The smile changed, holding no mirth in it. "I needed saidar, to make such a huge task. And I can trust them, to some extent." He looked at Min saying it, and she nodded shortly. He seemed to relax a little, seeing it. How could the woman make him so... ? No, this could wait. "Maybe Beldeine is trying to prove herself that she isn't afraid of the Asha'man. Maybe she thinks she can have some use of an Asha'man as a warder." Min nodded to herself, without taking her eyes from Rand once. She sipped from her cup slowly, Aviendha doubted if Min even felt the taste of the wine. "Maybe it's me again," Aviendha blinked at him, Min open her eyes wide, only Elayne seemed to understand what he meant, "twisting the pattern again. Or maybe she is in love with Narishma." He sounded more than amused for the last. "Light, it's no stranger choice than falling in love with me." Aviendha glared at him, there was a difference between falling in love with him and falling in love in any other man. With others, I might have been able to maintain my wits. Rand smiled as if he read her mind, again! "Moghedien," He muttered, almost to himself, "if I ever lie my hands on that woman..." His voice fade, as if he didn't know the words to fit what he planned.

Elayne walked to him, and, holding her cup carefully, trying to look natural, sat on his lap. He smiled at her for a moment, then return to stare darkly at his cup. "What happened to Birgitte, Rand? This is the reason you are angry about Moghedien, isn't it?" She asked softly. For the first time, Aviendha notice that she had been holding a wine cup without drinking. She needed it, the wine was made of plums, soft and sweet and warm. She had the feeling that this was the way it should be, both the wine and Elayne. Min took a chair near Rand, folding her legs and wearing an unreadable expression. Aviendha hesitated for a long moment, she didn't like seating on chairs. But she didn't seem to have a choice. If she would seat on the floor, Rand would too. Elayne tried to make him forget his anger for her. She wouldn't get in the way of her near sister like that. And standing would have the same affect. She sat on the very edge of a chair. Uncomfortable.

Rand wrapped a hand around Elayne's shoulder, "Birgitte," He said, he titled his head, and his eyes had that far off stare in them. As if he was listening to something only he could hear. Lews Therin, it still made her want to shiver. After a long moment, Rand signed to himself. "She wanted to know if I can take her back to Tel'aran'rhiod. To unmake what Moghedien did."

Elayne sat very straight suddenly. Staring at Rand with all the dignity she could master. Aviendha wonder if she had to take notes. It must be hard, looking that way at a man while seating in his lap. "Can you do this?" Her voice was empty.

"What, taking her back? I think I can, at least. Lews Therin think it's too much a risk." He smile at this, as if he had just said something funny. Whatever it was, none save him smiled. "But I believe it can be done. I even think I know how Moghedien learned how it can be done. I even found a way to avoid the problems in your bond to her." His smile gone, blue gray eyes intent on Elayne's blue. Min stared at them, one eyebrow rise. Of course, she didn't know about Birgitte.

Elayne tried to rise, "When are you taking her? I want to say her goodbye before she..." Rand didn't let her go.

"I don't take her." He said simply.

"What!" Elayne exclaimed, "Why? What give you the right to make such decision for her..." She fell silent as Rand threw his head back, laughing.

Rand had tears in his eyes by the time he controlled himself, and Elayne cheeks were red spots in pale face. "A moment ago you were grieving her for leaving, and now you're angry of me for not taking her away from you." Rand said, amusement heavy in his voice. "It's not my choice, Elayne. It's her. All she wanted to know is whatever I can do it."

"She don't want to leave? Why? Rand, she is pain inside, missing Gaidal all the time." Elayne said, her voice held enough strength to make any Wise One pride. Min's eyes went wide the soon Gaidal's name was mention. She stared at Elayne as if she had never seen her before. Aviendha thought she might have guessed. Min remained silent, and so she herself did. This was between Rand and Elayne, and Birgitte, of course.

"She is your friend, not only your warder." The man answered, he took a sip from his cup. And didn't look at Elayne. Quite obviously hadn't looked at Elayne. "As for Gaidal..." He sighed heavily. "I rise her, did you know it? In the Age of Legends. My little band of heroes." His voice, his eyes, were unfocused, staring at something long pass. "I needed something more than simple soldiers. Twenty five years before the War of Shadow began, I already knew about the existence of the Dark One, about what he was. It wasn't hard to find orphans. The Light know there were too much orphans those days. I gather little more than one hundred," He smiled faintly. "Even Ilyena was shocked by what I planned, some of them weren't even five years old. But she helped, for pity of the children if for nothing else." He returned to the present suddenly. "I thought them how to use every weapon possible. Trained them to be my hounds." There was disgust in his voice, "I did what I thought necessary, never because I liked it. And every last of them swore an oath to me. And I swore the same to them." He stopped to swallow, he wasn't lost anymore in the past, he was explaining something, Aviendha wished she knew what it was. " 'As long as one drop of blood still flows in veins, as long as the wheel turn and the Dark One exist. To death and beyond.' " He quoted. "The Wheel sometimes has a strange humor. My band of heroes, so I called them. And every last one of was a hero. None of them survive to the last year of the War of Shadow. And I will make sure that their murderers will die, their death avenged." He looked at Elayne, at Min, at her.
There was something in his eyes, something she didn't understood. Inside, he was frozen metal. Nothing touched him. "I called them from the grave, on the day I... sealed the Dark One away from the world." The day he killed Ilyena. "I promised them that everything I can do for them I will. None ever asked me for a thing." The wine in his cup trembled. There was grief in him, about a time long past. "Go away!" he whispered suddenly, seemingly to the air. "I'm sorry," he said a moment later, "it happens sometimes, I get carried away by the memories. It doesn't matter anymore, save that Birgitte has the right to ask whatever she wish from me." He looked at Elayne, morning skies eyes with no expression. "Birgitte is your friend, Elayne. She wouldn't leave you. Not even for Gaidal, she always had too much pride. Without Gaidal, she always got herself into troubles." Fury burned inside him, lasting heartbeat only. "Moghedien promise to hurt her as badly as she could, when I will find her, I will make her beg to suffer as much pain as she had given." He said the words in a quiet voice, Aviendha believed him. He had the sound of utter truth in his voice. "Birgitte wouldn't let me return her to where she belongs. But I did... something to... help her a little." Rand was never so hesitant, never!

"What have you done?" Elayne asked in a small voice. "What could you do?" Her eyes widen in shock suddenly. "Loving Gaidal was the reason she was the reason she was always sad, so you..." She choked on her words.

"I erased the memory of loving Gaidal from her. Compulsation." Rand said, he sounded as disgusted from what he was saying as Elayne looked. "Before you will throw up a tantrum," he said quickly, "tell me what else could I do. I set it to unravel when she will meet Gaidal again. And she will meet Gaidal again. In a new body, a new mind. But it will be her Gaidal. As ugly as always. The pattern would allow nothing else. I would allow nothing else. And let me burn for it!" He glared back at Elayne, as hard as she glared at him. "What else I could do? I had no intention to leave her to bleed inside, Elayne. I owe her too much."

"I don't know." Elayne muttered finally. Her glare faded slowly. "I don't know, but I can't like it."

Min cleared her throat, loudly. "Would any of you mind explaining me what you're talking about?" She said, "It's a very interesting argument, but I would like to know the rest of it."

Rand laughed softly. "Of course," for the first time, he seemed to notice that she was seating in a chair. Hadn't Elayne been in his lap, she would have threw her cup on the fool. The way he stared at her... Rand stood easily, and set Elayne on the floor carefully. "Elayne, why wouldn't you start telling Min what you've told me, I need to make some... arrangement, I will be back soon." With this, he took a long step back, and flames enveloped him, he was gone in a heartbeat. He hadn't gone far, maybe to another room in this huge hold of him.

"Show off!" Min noted calmly, "the first time he did it, he frighten me half way to death." Aviendha had to agree, for a moment, she thought he was burning. Min rose from the chair, and sat on the floor, Elayne did the same. Aviendha appreciate it, she couldn't feel comfortable, seating on a chair.

"Min," she had to ask this, "how can you be so calm about this." Her gesture include the entire strange hold, build inside the Dragonmount, the Asha'man in it. "Those Asha'man, they can go mad any moment, killing anyone in their sight."

Min was silent for a long moment, her eyes, when she lifted them from her wine cup were dark storms. "So can Rand, and there is nothing any of us can do about it." Her tone changed, sadden, "Morr had gone mad, he was barely a boy. Rand gave him something to make him sleep, too much of it." She shivered, Aviendha caught a glimpse of unshed tears in her eyes. "I liked him, I grieve his death, Aviendha." Her eyes changed, for a heartbeat, they reminded her Rand's, frozen calm and burning fury. "Two Asha'man had given their life already for Rand. I know about two times he would have died without them. There are probably more I don't know about. They aren't the monsters from the stories." Min stopped to take a breath. "I like them, the one Rand's has with him, at least. They are men, they can channel, that is true, but they are still men nevertheless."

Elayne had red spots on her cheeks. What Min said was so much like Rand's words, so much unlike what she herself said that it seemed deliberate. For herself, Aviendha had her cheeks on fire too. Her thoughts weren't that much different than Elayne's, at least when it came to those Asha'man. Elayne emptied her cup, and Aviendha took a long drink from hers.

"Who was Morr, Min? What are you talking about?" Aviendha asked. Min took a deep breath and began talking. Aviendha drunk more of the cup as Min continued, that Rand hadn't told. He hadn't have a chance, after telling them about his kidnapping. Neither she nor Elayne was ready to listen to any further word of him. She thought he mentioned something about Aes Sedai swearing fealty to him. She was too furious to listen to anything. Min completed what they hadn't let Rand tell them. In some ways, it was as disturbing as the what Rand had said. He had another wound on his side, and that Darkfriend, Padan Fain, wanted him dead. For the first time, she heard what happened in the Sun Palace. She didn't know what to think. There was too much she didn't understood. Renegade Asha'man who wished Rand's death. The mad Asha'man Min had to take care for while Rand hunted for the attackers.

"Light," Elayne murmured at the end, "it there anybody who doesn't want to kill Rand?" She sounded desperate, no wonder about it, Aviendha understood long ago how frustrating Rand could be. He took no care for his life, and he had enough enemies to make Sorilea afraid.

"The three of us." Min said quietly, she didn't sound as if she was joking. Min looked at the cup in her hand and seemed to give herself a shake. "I think this is as far as I'm going to drink for today." She said loudly. Her cup was full of wine, as if she hadn't taken more than one sip. "I suggest that you would do the same."

Aviendha stared at her cup, it was almost as full as Min. She knew she drunk more of it. "I thought I've drunk more than one sip." She said, wondering.

Min smiled at her, a very amused smile. "You drunk at least three cups, if not more, Aviendha. You too, Elayne, so you can stop being so pleased with yourself. It's a trick that have to do with gateways, as far as I understand it. An old party trick, so Rand call it. This can get fool around with it even when you know about it." She blushed, "It happened to me, twice." Elayne took one more sip and put her cup on the floor. Aviendha settled her cup on the floor hastily.

"Three times, actually." Rand said from behind them, Aviendha hadn't felt him coming. She would have, he must have just come in. "You... were too drunk to remember the first time." His smile were so like Mat's for a moment, that Aviendha froze. There was a glint in his eyes. Something in his movement, amusement of sort. Not of them, or so she thought, something else. "Did I miss anything," Rand asked, he carried a tray. Her stomached rumbled, reminding her she hadn't eaten since yesterday, she couldn't eat, not when she thought Rand had gone mad. And later, there seemed to be no time for this. Rand's smile widened, as both she and Elayne snatched bowls from the tray before he even sat it on the ground. "I thought you will be hungry," Rand said, even more amused than before. She was too hungry at first to feel what she was eating. Some kind of a soup, with some kind of a meat in it. Rand took one bowl for himself and gave Min another. Two other bowls remained on the tray. Light, if I wasn't too hungry, Aviendha thought, I would kiss him. She glanced at him over her bowl, too hungry to do anything save eating. For some reason, being with him almost made her forget her body entirely, Rand and Min ate far more slowly. Min looked at them, amazed. Rand only smiled. It felt good, relaxed, to see him smiling. Light, there wouldn't a thing she wouldn't do just to see him smiling. He was so beautiful when he didn't. When he did, she had troubles thinking.

[Originally posted on as Barid Bel Medar @ 6 November 1998]

You shouldn't take this story too seriously. I made it mainly because I wanted a mad story. And after you read it, you will have to admit that this is a mad story. I began as a theory, but since I could find nothing to support it... At least I could make a story out of it. I don't know if it's good. But it's certainly not the kind of stories I usually write. And it's certainly something you will never see in the books. Beside, I can't write another story until I will have Path of Daggers, so I made as story that can fit always, or so I think. It might be mad, but I wish it was a part of the story. Just because of all the trouble this would make.

Elayne woke slowly. She didn't want to. She expected the pain, but she felt none of it. Her fingers met unbroken skin, but she didn't feel the weakness of being healed. She stood slowly, she was lying on the floor, wearing only a simple white dress. She was in a room, not small, but certainly not large. One of the walls was a mirror, the larger she had ever seen in her life. She looked at herself. Save her hair, she was fine. Then her eyes locked on her face. The hair was at the same color, and the eyes were in the same shade of blue. But the face were different, only slightly, the nose was smaller, and the mouth bigger. The face was wider. Small changes, but it wasn't her body. The implications made her shiver.

What happened to me? She remembered the Trollocs attacking, being led by dark-clad fades. She remembered Rand screaming in fury, facing a dark man with hawk nose with a face that barely belonged to him. And she remembered the other man, the man that cut off her flows and shielded her, and Aviendha. And then it was only the pain, endless pain.
You're dead, child. A voice whispered in her mind. Just like the two others died. As I died, so long ago, dead by those who were sent by the Lord of all the Darkness. There was endless sadness in the voice. Gloom and grief and sorrowfulness more than she could ever imagine.
Who are you? What are you doing in my mind? Where am I? What happened! She demanded in fury. What happened?
Don't be hasty, child. Let the others awake first, they would have as much questions as you will. And I don't like repeating myself. The voice was female, she was sure of it. But she didn't like it.
Others? She, her body, sat on the floor, leaning on the wall, and her hands arranged the skirt around her carefully. She did none of it. It was the other woman's doing. What are you doing? Stop using my body!
Tsk! Tsk! Child, it's my body, not yours, at least, it's so close to the one I born with that it make no difference. She felt amusement from the other women. It was much like having a warder you can talk to with your mind.
Brigitte! She thought in shook. What happened to Brigitte? She hadn't felt the other woman, but she didn't feel the pain of the warder bond being cut. She hadn't died, I would have known had she died.
She could feel something else moving, awakening. What... what happened? Min, Elayne was never happier to hear another voice as she was now. Well, maybe Rand's.
The other one is wakening too, the other woman's voice noted.
Min made a sound, half a scream, and half a cry of surprise. What are you? Who are you? Where am I?
Min, Elayne said, or thought, it was the same. I don't know where we are -
Inside my head, children. The women whispered, amused. It seemed that the Lord of Darkness does have sense of humor. I never believed it.
Elayne felt another presence. She would have bet anything that this was Aviendha. Who are you? That was all the Aielwoman said. What had you done to me. By what she felt from Aviendha, the woman was ready to violence. Elayne doubt if this could do any help here. Inside their mind.
So you have awaken, little da'shain. The voice murmured in satisfaction. Now we can talk. Aviendha growled. And her fury was stronger than Elayne ever believed the Aielwoman could feel. Aviendha was also calm.
It's you body, isn't it? The... The Dark One put us in your body! Our souls! He did! Min's voice sounded small and frightened. Amusement became stronger in the other woman.
Very good child. It something that, as far as I know, had never been done. Never four in one body. You might have to excuse me for being amused by... the situation. But it's funny, in a way.
What was so amusing in this? Elayne didn't had a clue. We are in the hands of the Dark One? How Aviendha made her voice sound so steady. Elayne thought that if she will try to speak she will never stop screaming.
In the hands of the Dark One? Amusement grew even stronger. You can call it that. They want to... use me. To win. They are no fools. Turning me to the Dark One, in whatever method they would use, would do them no good. Lews Therin would kill any that belong to the Shadow without blinking twice. Even me. But if I still belong to the light... I don't think he could choose. And now they had put you in my body also. For the same purpose, I assume. Who are you? Why holding you can stop the Dragon from sealing again the Dark One's prison?
Elayne couldn't think, nor feel anything. The woman's words. Impossible, you can't her! She died three thousands years ago!

I died, but I still live, your bodies are death. But you are still breathing. The dead walk, and the dead speak, to foretell the Dark One's coming. Lews Therin killed me, in his madness. And would never forgive himself this. He had no choice, but he would blame himself still. He caught me, The Lord of all the Darkness. Through the seals, and although I never swore myself to him. Caught my soul at the moment of dying. It nearly killed him, even the Dark One has his limits. But he did. And now he had you as well. Who are you that can stop the Wheel of Time from turning? Who are you that can stop the Dragon from fulfilling a prophecy as old as the mountains and the seas? What make you so important to them?
Ilyena, Lews Therin's dead wife. Min's voice was barely a whisper. But Elayne could almost see the nod of approval.
That is what I was, before I died. Maybe I'm still, I don't know. Who are you? It wasn't a question, it was a command.
I'm Elayne, the others are Min and Aviendha. Elayne thought quietly. We are, were, Rand's lovers. And more, had they convinced Rand into marrying them. He is Lews Therin Telamon reborn.

Stunned shock was the only thing that came from the other woman, from Ilyena. She could barely believe it. He took you? All three of you? Ilyena asked suddenly, after a time so long Elayne feared that the woman had gone. What did he feel for you? What do you feel for him? It took her a moment to understand what Ilyena meant.
Love! Min shouted. Nothing but love. Do you think that we would have agreed to... what are you thinking of? Do you truly think that he would have agreed to this? Aviendha remain quiet, but Elayne would have bet her soul, a miserable expression, that the Aielwoman searched ways to attack Ilyena.
It was... unlikely, but who can know. In this age? With Aes Sedai that are less than savages are. And da'shain that are worse than Friends of the Dark.

This time Aviendha explode. You! Elayne felt her reaching for saidar, what she meant to do with it she had no idea. They were at the same body as Ilyena was. She herself for furious on the other woman, she had no right to judge! Aviendha's anger faded away. I can't touch saidar! I can't even feel the source!
Aviendha's words had frozen her, she opened herself to saidar, feeling herself with the warmth and life and - there was nothing there, it was as if saidar had gone. As if she was stilled! Here, the True Source cannot be reached. Ilyena whispered. You have no idea how many times I have tried. Saidar cannot reach here. We are not stilled, if this give you any comfort.
What are they going to do to us? Min asked, surprisingly calm. Why putting us all in one body. And why you?
I'm who I am, and who I was. Ilyena answered. As you are who you are. Lews Therin, Rand, as you say he call himself now, would never act against our good. Blackmail.
He will never... he can't decide that we are more important than the world! He can't! Aviendha said urgently. He must not.
What would you would do if you had the choice? Elayne asked Aviendha, the other woman didn't bother to answer.
We are wasting time, Min said, there must be a way out of here. We must escape.
There is no way, I'm here for a long time, ever since Ishmael pulled me out from the stasis box, and there is no way out.

The body rose to its feet, and began to pace the length of the room, Elayne had no idea which one of them commanded it. They had to escape. They couldn't let Rand make the choice, he might choose wrong. For a moment she had no idea what choice she meant. But they had to escape. Rand mustn't allowed to choice. It would tear him inside, kill him from inside like nothing else could do. He shielded himself from anything, but not from them. If he would have to choose, if he... It would kill him.

Ilyena shut herself off the argument. It was useless, there was no way out. And the Light only knew how long had she been trying to break free. She had lost count of time long ago. She thought it must be a year or two at least.

She moved the body, there were always some food in a room that was attach to this. It was always full with food, but she never saw anyone filling the room with food. The body was hungry, strangely, she couldn't think about it as her body anymore. It wasn't. It was their body. Hers, and the other three women's. It looked a lot like the one she was originally born with. So close that she sometimes wondered about it. The body was younger than the one she died in. When she woke the body was about nineteen years old. Now it was about twenty-one, she thought. She had no idea if she will slow in this body too. She was allowed out of this room rarely, only enough so she could touch saidar. Enough so the lack of the One Power wouldn't kill her.

They took a good care of her, she had known that the wildest rumors she had heard in the War of Power had been only the edge of what actually happened to the prisoners of the Shadow. The War of Power, so long ago, if Ishmael was to be believe, three thousands years ago and more. She remembered waking, and how much this had terrified her. One wasn't suppose to wake from death. And she remembered dying. Remembered her husband, Lews Therin, the man she loved more than anything else, leashing out with the power. All the while laughing madly. She remembered facing him, and...

She had been awaken once afterwards. When they pushed her into the stasis box. "To keep you safe until you will be of use again, Ilyena." As Ishmael said. Time didn't pass inside stasis boxes. And it was as if they simply close the box and opened it immediately. But three thousands years passed. And the world she knew was no more. Saidin was tainted, and men that could channel were hunted down. Worse of all, the Aiels, those gentle men and women, sworn never to rise a weapon, had become something that was worse than the soldiers they had to breed in the War of Power. They had to do this, of course, but none like it. It was too much like Aginor's doings. And the Aes Sedai, they were less than savages. All this according to Ishmael's stories, but she didn't think that the Forsaken lied to her. He had no need to, and Ishmael never did anything unless he had reason too. It made her nervous, all their talks. She wasn't exactly afraid of him, no in the way she would had he been Rahvin, or Sammael, or worse, Demandred. His lust of power burned long ago any other lust.

Why did he tell me all this? She wondered idly, she forgot that she wasn't alone in her head anymore.
Who did what? Elayne demanded, the girl had to learn patience. She ignored her.
What are you doing? That was another voice, Ilyena thought the woman was named Min. So far she was the calmest, and the most reasonable.
Eating, if you didn't notice, I... we are hungry. It was strange, more than strange, to share a mind, a body, with another. Not to say three others.
Aviendha began to laugh suddenly. The mouth of the body twisted. I just thought about this. She said, but the Dark One did Rand a favor! She actually giggled saying this.
What! All three of them thought united, shocked.
Think, none of us liked having to share Rand with the two others. Ilyena never heard about such things, a man with three women, Lews Therin with three other women. It was enough to make her mad. Now we don't have to share him. He can love one woman only. Now we not only share the same man, we share the same body! She laughed more at this. The other two, on the other hands, wasn't amused. She herself wasn't, she saw nothing funny in this.
"We still have to get out of here, Aviendha. Before we can meet Rand. Or have you forgotten." This time Elayne had used the mouth to form the words. It was... disturbing. She felt the mouth moving, but didn't order it to move. More than disturbing.

"That can be arranged." A voice said behind her. A voice she knew, a voice she dreaded of. She turned back. Or at least tried to, the four of them tried to control the body at the same time. And the body tripped on its own feet, she fell hard on the floor. Too confuse even to send her hands forward to stop her fall. Let me have control! She shouted inwardly, I know him, and I know the body more than you do! We can't all control this body at the same time! She felt them moving back, and she could move the body again, they were just voices. But they sensed her fear, and fell silent.
"It can be hard to get use to a new body, Ilyena. Especially when you have to share it." The man said. He had another body, but she knew him. He visited her before. He called himself Moridin, he deserved the name. He also had other names. It didn't took long to guess the truth. Elan Morin, Ishmael, Ba'alzmon. He was the same man. None but Ishmael knew about her, and Moridin remembered her conversations with Ishmael. "You are leaving now."
"What?!" This was the last she could expected.
Why he's letting us go? Elayne asked.
He's evil! That was Min, Even Myradraals are pure near him. I could believe him to be the Dark One in the flesh.
Have you seen something, Min? Elayne asked.
Little, enough. More than I wanted. He and Rand are going to struggle against each other. I don't know who will win.
Quiet, Aviendha said. You can tell us all about this latter, we have to deal with him first.
A voice of reason, at last. Ilyena thought at them, Be quiet!
"Do you want to stay? You're a... message for Lews Therin, Ilyena. A warning. He will understand." He meant to explain no further. And she meant to argue no more, she wanted to be out of this place!
"Well? Are you going to let us go or not?" She asked.
"Tell him about me, Ilyena, tell him about what we did to those he loved. Ask him how high the price he's willing to pay is." He moved closer, and she danced back. She didn't like being too close to him. She didn't like him. But she was wrapped in air suddenly. And something she couldn't see threw her back. She flailed in the air. She was about to crush against the wall. She hadn't seen the gateway. But somehow, in the middle of the flight, she passed through it. She fell into the ocean.

As soon as she understood where she was she started swimming. Aviendha was afraid, she could feel it as well as she could feel her own fear. But the woman wasn't afraid facing the Forsaken. But she was terrified from the water. She felt something else, a knot of emotion, much like the way she sensed the other women. But there was no awareness in it.
Birgitte, Elayne called. Relieved. She is alive!
How many more surprises she would have? How many women would feel her head? For some reason, Min giggled. She heard her thoughts. Nothing was funny in this! But the other woman began to laugh.

[Originally posted as Barid Bel Medar @ 21 March 1998]

[This is a different story than my PoD Prologue's #1]

The Story Part 1:

Min had never been so happy in her life, had never been so worried, never so full of fear. She paced the length of the room for hours already, she doubted if she could stand still without exploding. As usual Rand filled her thoughts. Even before she made him admit that he is in love with her, being near him was all what she needed to make herself overjoyed. Now that he said he love her, she felt as if her heart will beat itself through her chest whenever he was near. He had tried to deny his love to her, and to Elayne and this Aviendha she never met before, but she rushed that by, it was easy. She really didn't want to think about it. But he had as much choice as she herself had; none. She had done it at least a hundred times since he had gone with his Asha'man to kill Sammael, eight or nine hours ago, but she had called all the memories she had from him, every last one. Sad or happy, she summoned them all.

She met him first at Baerlon, when he came together with Moiraine and Lan and Perrin and Mat and Egwene. She liked him from the beginning, even before see saw that she is going to fall in love with the man. She had never seen anything about herself not before nor after. Nothing! Why the only viewing she had ever had that had some meaning was of three women crying over his body. How could she love a man while she knew he was going to die? But after she talked to him in the first time she already knew, already started to love him. It was madness!
She knew practically nothing about the man, except that he was going to tear the world apart. She had always wished to find herself in some kind of adventures, but certainly not one that was going to make her name hated for ages. Lews Therin Kinslayer died three thousand years ago and was still mentioned as the main cause for the breaking, the last thing she wanted was to be in love with a man that will do it again. And it only become worse after they all left in the middle of the night. And when she thought about it afterward the only one thing that could make any sense that she thought about was that Rand must be the Dragon Reborn. The thought made her laugh then, she never thought that the horrified Dragon Reborn would be a backward farm boy.
But she did go to the library on Baerlon; small one but they had a tatter copy of the prophecies of the dragon. And she read all of them, she meant to find some prove that he wasn't Lews Therin Kinslayer reborn. Only, the things she read there only confirmed her suspicion. She saw a sword that isn't a sword and a laurel crown with swords around him. And the others, the things she hadn't told him.
The dragon's fang and the flame of Tar Valon joined together on field of blood. And a heron flying over his head. She knew that he could channel since the first time she saw him. A black aura that was visible to her alone spoke of madness and death that would follow him wherever he would go. And that wasn't even the worst thing she saw. She learned long ago that when she know something it happen, but to have to share a man with two women she never even saw. A fair hair and blue eyes woman with dignity that could have easily match the sun, the great serpent ring on her finger and a green shawl on her shoulders. An Aes Sedai, but no Aes Sedai would even think of helping any man that can channel, even if he was the Dragon Reborn.
And a woman with red hair and blue-green eyes, in dark silk and an ivory bracelet she held while she cried on Rand's corpse. The bracelet was important to the woman more than her life that was all she understood from that viewing. But she had no intention of falling in love with a man that was going mad if he wouldn't gentled. And no intention at all of sharing any man at all with any other woman. But she hadn't have the choice, and as the days passed she started missing him, she saw him for less than two hours, and was in love with him. Tied to him as much as his belt. And then she got the letter from Moiraine, commanding her to come to the White Tower. She went there as much because of she want to know what happened to Rand as because of the Aes Sedai's command. She half feared to find him there, the red would have gentled him no matter who he was suppose to be. And half expected to see him there.
And in the Tower she found one of the women that came with Rand, Egwene. She loved him then, and he her. But she had known that they didn't belonged to each other. And a second woman, Elayne Tarkand, the second women she saw when she looked at Rand.
She had tried to treat it like a joke since the day she first saw it. It wasn't possible that the Dragon Reborn would love a woman, no matter what she felt for him. And it was less than possible that she let herself caught by a man that was as good as mad or death.

She tried that for a very long time, she even succeed to make herself laugh at that once or twice. And for all her determination to not let herself even think of Rand, when she saw him on Falme; when he walked across the skies, setting them aflame, all her stubbornness of not letting herself loving the man faded.How could she let herself doing so? But that was that, she couldn't laugh at it anymore. And she watched him fight with a man who had a face from fire, watched him walk on screens of fire while a golden and crimson creature that glitter as the sun waved behind him. She had understood then that all that left for her was to surrender. The wheel weaves as the wheel wills. And for some reason the wheel wanted her in love with that man, though she had no idea why. She saw the fight on the sky, watched Ba'alzmon speaking words that terrified her thought she didn't understood their meaning, watched Rand answering him in the same way. Saw how Ba'alzmon's spear stabbed the man she loved, saw him disappearing from the sky. And only then she became really aware of what was going on around her. The Seanchans fought against the Heroes of the Horn, she saw Artur Hawkwing cutting off the head of a soldier of his offsprings. Saw Gaidal Cain with his two swords and Birgitte with her silver bow, and the man that fought with the sword of the sun must have been Amaresu. She saw all the heroes she heard on the stories, but she barely noticed that more than one moment or two. As soon as Rand and Ba'alzmon disappeared see felt something dragging her as if she was tied with a string. As she was, in a manner of speaking.

When she reached Rand and saw him, she first felt joy for him being alive and than worry when she understood that he might not stay that way long. She dragged him into a servant's room in the building she found him. And saw Lanfear, during her days on the Tower she read every thing she could about Lews Therin Telamon, and she knew that Lanfear was once his lover. She had never even considered that the woman might want her lover back, more than three thousands years after he died in sorrow of killing his wife. She also never considered what would happen, had the woman known what she felt for Rand. The books only said that Lanfear hated Lews Therin's wife, and she didn't think that the woman would accept easily that she had more chances than the Forsaken to be Rand's wife. But one thing she viewed on the woman, that made her stomach to icy stone; Rand would have to confront her one-day, and she didn't see anything that would hint on the winner, only that Lanfear would hurt him.

When Nynaeve and Elayne and Egwene arrived she hid it from them, hid it from all save Moiraine. Which only listened and said nothing, sometimes the Aes Sedai 's serenity made her want to strangle her. She had stayed near Rand when he slept, stayed till Moiraine told her she could go to sleep or be dragged to bed. And she was back as soon as her eyes opened. Rand woke up only four days later, when they already were in the mountains of mist. And when he saw how the others in the camp treated him he could not even stay near them without wanting to vomit. She understood him, maybe more then she wanted, she could have pictured easily how she would have done if anyone would look at her as if she was the light itself.
She and Lan and Moiraine and Perrin was the only ones which treated him like a human being, and she was the only one that was never afraid of being around him. After the Trollocs attacked the camp, after she saw how Rand behaved… she had 0never seen him so hopeless before, nor after. Never so ready to die and end it all.
On that night he disappeared, going to Tear in the hope he could touch callandor, and she went to the Tower to inform Suian about it. To inform the Amirlyn, that was all what she intended to do, but she stayed there, trapped because of a man and love. And during all her time in the Tower she saw nothing that could point out even one black sister. She cursed him a lot during those seemingly endless days. She hoped desperately for something that might get her out of the Tower and near him. Though she hadn't prayed for what happened. But Suian and Leane were both stilled, and they escaped the Tower. Suian, Leane, Logain and she, fleeing Elaida and the Tower as fast as they could. And the only thing that kept her from going as unaware of the world as Logain became was a viewing she told nobody of. Elaida stand, with dozens of others Aes Sedai, in front of a tall, reddish hair man. Rand, she was sure thought she couldn't see his face, and screamed as if her soul was taken away from her. She thought it could be for kneeling to a man, after all Elaida was red.

After they fled the Tower and reached Salidar she met Elayne, and told her what she kept hidden for so long. And they had agreed that they would share Rand, though none of them knew who the third woman might be and none of them liked the idea of sharing him. And when the embassy went to Rand she went with them, she could have stayed in Salidar. Had Elayne asked her she would have, she thought she would have. The urge to go to Rand might have been too great for her to refuse it. But Elayne never asked, and she thanked the light for that, she only asked her to give Rand a letter.
So she went to Rand then, and he told her of Elayne and of a woman called Aviendha. He never mentioned herself but she was sure, sure beyond any reason that he loved her too. She thought her heart might stop when she realized that the joy and the shock she felt she had barely hid. But all that gone in flush when Rand said that he didn't see her as a woman! The bloody man thought of her as if she wasn't a woman! With anybody else she might have pass it by, she really didn't what others thought of her. But him! She wanted him to think of her as a woman, wanted him to see her as one. Had the man slapped her face for hours he couldn't hurt her more than that little remark had.
But just being near Rand had a strange affect on her, she couldn't be angry on him for long, not for any reason. The hours she spend with Rand passed as quickly as the hours away from him refused to pass. She had great pleasures from teasing him, and she could find something to fill the hours away from him. But when the Aes Sedai decided to challenge Rand, for a reason he and she still didn't know, and when the number of the Aes Sedai had reached thirteen, she felt fear as she had only once before, when he told her what thirteen Aes Sedai can do to any man in Falme, when she thought he was going to die. He told her then that he will send her away for her to be safe, she didn't understood why this mad her feel so warm inside and in the same time so angry, but when he added that he would cut off his hand before hurting her… She knew that he couldn't view, nobody else save her seemed to be able to do that, but she suspected that he might have a foretelling, if Aes Sedai could foretell why not man that could channel. She saw a hand when she first met him, a severed hand that she thought was his. A hand that she knew will be severed because of something he would do for one of them, the three woman that love him.

On Cairhien she felt that life slow down, Rand met nobles, and ruled the country. She teased him and kissed him, every thing seemed to go well, save that he sometime became bleak, and in others he seemed to be talking to something nobody save him could hear. She could do nothing in both cases, so she tried to ignore them both, without really succeeding. But beside that she doubted if life could have been better, maybe if she finally manage to make him admit that he is in love with her. She spend the days trying to satisfy both him and the Wise Ones, she thought that if viewing had taken a physical effort she might have collapsed the first day. As it was, she did collapse, from tiredness as much as of discussing of all the things she saw. Rand set there beside her after that, as she had done when he fainted when he closed the waygate to Cairhien. Then she thought of a hundreds ways to tell him that she loves him, thousands ways to make him admit that he loves her. Every last one of them would have make her aunts skin her and him, in strips and very slowly. When the Aes Sedai kidnapped him she actually considered trying some of them!
The Aes Sedai caught her in her way to Rand, and for days she didn't even know they held him too. She was sure he would come to save her, sure of that. And when she found out that they held him too, about three days after they gone from the city, she worried too much for him to be miserable as she was before. When he found that she in the camp, though… she shivered and told herself that it was long past now. But the pictures welled up in her despite her efforts to ignore them. Rand being beaten after he had gone mad and killed the warders, Rand stuffed inside the small box. The Aes Sedai had beaten him every morning and sunset. They beat her too, for not answering as they wanted, but they made her watch when they had beaten Rand.
But far worst was the day when they were attacked, she was left without a watcher and as soon as she could she went to Rand, if there was a time to help him free himself it was then. Only, when she reached the box she heard something exploding and piece of the chest hit her hard enough to trample her down. She recognized it and her heart became empty, a vast waste. Tears streamed down her face and grief that she thought would crush her, a bleakness that was so strong it left nothing else. Colder from inside than she ever believed anyone could be, emptier than she thought possible. Rand was the entire world for her, filling her from inside in life. He was gone now, never to return. She never even told him she loved him. She was turned by someone, she didn't care who or why, she didn't care for a thing right then. Rand is dead! The thought bought another wave of sobs, and returned tenfold stronger. Rand is dead and I never even told him I love him!
She stared at the one who turned her over without really seeing him till now and then she gasped. Rand! Alive! She said something then, after that she could never remember what, she only remember the warmth and joy that came instead of the grief she felt earlier, came ten time as strong as the bleakness. She still cried, but now the tears were of joy and not of that deadly empty feeling. He burned the cords that held her, and help her stand; he looked so weak then. So unlike the Dragon Reborn in a tatter shirt and breaches; yet his face was expressionless and cold enough to make winter heart look worm; and his eyes were full of concern and fury, the concern was for her, the fury for the Aes Sedai. He seemed to relax when he saw that she was fine, he didn't even care for himself, a strange oddity in him, he never seemed to care for his own life. She had never saw something more beautiful than his face while he helped her to stand, her knee trembled, the relief had weaken them. But even with weak knees she was still stronger than he was at the moment, so she wrapped her arms around him to help him stand. What she really wanted was to be sure he wasn't only an illusion, to be sure that he won't disappear.

He straightened and moved from her, his face was all calm again, as it always was when she saw him channeling. He scanned the border of the camp, and whenever he looked at an Aes Sedai she fell from her saddle to the ground. She wanted to leave this place; she didn't understand why he didn't just make one of those bloody holes in the air and jumped through. The Aes Sedai might just lock him again if he would stay there long enough. But the Aes Sedai fell and chaos took over the camp. Aiels and Cairhienins and Mayieners were every where suddenly. She clutched Rand and she could almost see the thought on Rand's head, he looked everywhere with eyebrows up. From him, while he channeled, it was like somebody else fainting from shock, and then glanced at her and shocked his head slightly. Obviously he thought that he might had gone mad, but decided that he isn't when he saw that she saw the men too. A group of Aiels came close to them; one of them raising a spear as if to throw it on them and flames suddenly burst out of them, burning them down. And Gawyn appeared in front of them, offering her a way out of the camp, as if she would have take it without Rand. But Gawyn didn't know that she love Rand; Rand himself didn't want to admit it. When she told Gawyn that his sister is in love with Rand she felt Rand stiffening, she couldn't understand why. He was in love with her too, why did he refuse to admit it. She passed the memories of the battle on Dumai's Well quickly, she didn't really want to remember how the earth raised to kill the Shaido, or the day after the battle, when Rand searched through the bodies for the maiden that died in the battle. She also really didn't want to remember what happened to Colavare.

But she did dwell upon her memories after she found what the once queen had done to herself. They were the memories she treasured most. But the way Rand reacted to what they did… she hadn't even thought of resisting him, why did he thought he raped her?
He had closed himself from the world for four days and would have more hadn't she came and talked with him. She didn't understand why and didn't think she ever would. She came and talked to him, she hadn't even linked his shutting himself of the world to what happened, but to find out that he thought he raped her was a shock. But when she considered what to do then she knew that just telling him that no matter what he had done it wasn't rape and never could be won't work with him. He would just assume that she lied in order to make him feel better, so she pretended to be angry with him, well she didn't have to pretend much. And the look on his face was priceless!
But then he said that he loves her and all the anger drained right out of her. That he said her what she dreamed of hearing from almost the first day she knew him made her want to kiss him, to hugged him, to comfort him again, to scream from the pure joy she felt. All at once and all jumbled together so she could decide what to do first. After he said he love her she felt as if she walked on clouds. The pleasure she felt when she was near him seemed to be doubled since he admitted that he loved her, and doubled again when she could finally tell him that she loves him too without fearing that he would try to send her away. He tried it anyway, of course, but it wasn't really hard to make him see that he needed her with him. So she stayed and he went to the Sea Folk's ship. Not before he made her tell him about the viewing that she had hidden from him, she still didn't understood why she gave up in that fashion. She feared that the viewing will make him bleak again, he became bleak too often as it was any way, but instead he laugh! The man would have probably laughing had she told him that he was going to die tomorrow! He never seemed to care one little bit about himself! Didn't care when he was wounded or hurt or too weak to stand! But letting her to try to make something when he thought she was unable to do it, that he can't allow, she might hurt herself. As if he wouldn't have done twice in her case as she would have done, going to kill Sammael when he could barely stand! Had she taken a cold he wouldn't have let her ten paces out of the bed! And it was worse because she could do nothing to stop him whenever he tried to make sure she was safe. And she would do it, the foolish things that woman did when they were in love!
He never explained her what he thought was funny in that viewing, and she couldn't ask him. And when they went to the See Folk; and every thing seemed to be going all right. Every thing. But then he came out with the bloody idea of going to the rebels, that nearly killed him, and the scar he got from Fain's dagger hadn't healed yet. It did eliminate the rebel in both Tear and Cairhien, but she didn't care if another rebel would have started on Andor too if she could forget those horrible two days when she thought he might die any moment. To forget the even more frightening hours she had at the moment. Hours she spent thinking about any thing that might have gone wrong and leave him to the Forsaken's mercy. She and Rand talked about many things, and one of them was the Forsakens, and from what she understood none of them had that particullar quality.
When her mind pictured a hundred disasters, and there was no way to know what happened, no way to know whatever he was even alive. She thought before that when he lied on the edge of death was the worse in her life, now she found out how much she mistaken that. That she didn't know what happened drove her to the edge of madness. She continued pacing the length of the room, her thoughts full of Rand and worries. The sun had already disappeared from the horizon when the door opened. And to the room entered the last two women in the world she could have think of.

The Story Part 2:

Aviendha leaned on the wall of the throne room in Illian watching a woman in livery rushing out of the room, they might have been a little to rush with her, but only a little, though. Her knees were week from relief. She was so wary for Rand al’Thor, so afraid he might be dead by Sammael and his own stubbornness. Why did he need to hunt down the Forsaken when he was barely able to rise from bed? Why the mighty car’a’carn hadn’t had the slightest bit of care for his life? Those were questions she doubted if she would ever find answers for.
But Rand bloody al’Thor was safe. After he had worried her and Elayne and Min half way to death. Burn the man! She thought grimly. He had no right to make me that frighten, I’m not a girl anymore. That was true enough, she wasn’t a girl anymore. Only a woman in love, and when she will see Rand al'Thor again she was sure she would posses less common sense than a child six years old. Elayne and Min were with her, but none of them showed any sigh that they were affected by what they just heard from the servant. Rand al'Thor is the king of Illian, and Lord Brend, Sammael was death. This wasn’t the sort of news Aviendha could have taken without being shocked, though she tried to hide it. And was sure that she succeeded far less than her near-sisters. She pushed herself from the wall firmly and started trotting toward the gilded doors of the throne room., Elayne and Min gave a start when she started moving but followed her stride for stride. None of them wanted to delay their meeting with Rand.
As they walked on the halls of the palace they were silent, none wanted to talk, each wrapped in her own thoughts. They had talked enough when they waited for Rand al'Thor. And only three hours after sunset it was when she suggested that they might want to go to Illian, to see if Rand al'Thor was safe. If he was, they were just torturing themselves. She had done enough of that when she had to pretend that she felt nothing for Rand al'Thor when her heart ached when she was near him. When she had to fight herself for every heartbeat not to tell him how she felt for him. It was enough for her entire life, more than that. The thought came dryly, but she pushed it away roughly, she didn’t wanted to remember.
But if Rand al'Thor had lost for the Destroyer of Hope… they might be able to help him if he was still fighting. Or ant least try to revenge him if he lost. That was a way she didn’t want her thoughts to take, she would have prefered to be stilled and not to lose Rand al'Thor.
She didn’t want to remember all the time she had been forced to be near Rand al'Thor. The memories were too painful, to live in lie wasn’t a thing she could do very well, or enjoy of. And for the better part of her time with Rand al'Thor that was exactly what she had to do. It wasn’t that there weren’t happy moments with him, but that they were too few. Far too few, and nothing she could do about it. Nothing that ji’e’toh would have allowed anyway, and she wouldn’t have broken ji’e’toh. She tried to force the memories down but they came anyway, without her wanting it, she would see Rand al'Thor soon, she could finally tell him what she felt for him. Tell him that she loved him, tell him…
She loved the man so much for such a long time, never telling him that she loved him, always cold and bitter. Most of the time she was near him she tried to make him hate her and her worse fear was that she managed to do that. Memories welled up, also about Rand, his smile and face, the way he moved. Every memory she had on him crossing her head.
She sank deeper on the soft bed, almost sleeping and let Rand cross her mind. She knew that she will fell in love with him since the first day at Rhuidean. He belonged to Elayne, yet the rings never lied, and she fell in love with him. All that was needed was to be near her for the journey to cold rock hold, after that she was caught. Caught in a leash the bloody man put around her heart without even to notice. However hard she tried to make herself hate him, she always found out that he somehow managed to make her love him. And however hard she tried to make herself hated in Rand al’Thor’s eyes the more he seemed to like her. He tied her emotions in knot, had shaken her whole world and the man hardly noticed. She wanted to make him her, she could have done it. In that she was sure, all that she needed to do was to tell him she was in love with him. And the hours and the days she spent arguing with herself about it. He belonged to Elayne, she had the first claim and no matter what Rand had done to her heart. And on the other hand was that she couldn’t be near him nor be away from him without wishing to be boil alive by Trollocs or fades. Compared to what the car’acarn had done to her it would have been pleasant.
What she didn’t understand was why he liked her; he couldn’t even suspect what she felt for him. And all she ever shown for him was hated or anger or cold, she hated the man and the more she hated him the more he liked her. But she had tried on Rhuidean to be away from him and what happen was that she felt as if he had taken a limb from her, felt an emptiness inside her if she was too far from him for too much time. And when she found Ishandre in his sleeping chamber, she thought that he was ready to go to bed with the woman. She would have killed them both without hesitating a moment. No woman save Elayne could have him. None. Not even she herself, and the man protected the wretch woman. And if the man dared to enter some woman to his bed, any woman at all save Elayne she had no doubt that she would kill her. She had hard time enough about stopping herself from him for Elayne, she would not for any other woman. ji’e’toh gave no other choice, for her the only chance to get him was to become a sister wife of Elayne and but what she managed to understand from Egwene there wasn’t really a question of it here. Wetlander women don’t share men. So there was no hope for her, save trying to convince Elayne to share Rand despite the customs of the wetlanders.
After that night the wise ones mad her sleep in his tent, and she learned what a torture was. Being close enough to touch him, only three paces from him and not stepping to him almost drove her mad. And every night she had to sleep with his breaths in her ears, listening to him, knowing that she could be in his embrace if ji’e’toh hadn’t stopped her as well as a stone wall was the worst thing that ever happened to her. And it all became more difficult in her sleep; he hunted her in her dreams and never let her go, always following her no matter what she did.
And the tortures of being in his tent after what had happen to them in the snow were nothing compared to what she had to do to stop herself from coming to him every night. She knew that doing this will be a mistake, even that one time was a mistake even if a pleasant one. She had toh toward Elayne for that time, and she would not shame herself more in doing it again.
Yet every night she dreamed of it, it was the worst time in her life, and the sweetest till now. Now she could tell Rand that she love him, she wouldn’t have to pretend that she was near him just because the wise ones mad her to. Unwanted, uninvited, a memory caught her, she could have as well ignore it as well ignore her needed for air.
Since she couldn’t have taken a sweat tent in the city she thought Rand’s way of washing might worth trying. Only, when she was ready to begin Rand entered to the room, shocked as much as she, he stood there goggling at her and fear took her in his hold. She heard herself mumbling something, but what she saw was Rand, how he looked at her and saidar opened to her. She was never able to remember what she had done then, only that she was suddenly running through stabbing cold from him. To shield her honor, she had to run as far as she could from her. But he followed her even to here. And the cold slowed her down, and however hard she was trying to run she was slowing.
Frozen cold became solid when she suddenly found herself inside a river, the cold overwhelmed her body and she gave up eagerly, any thing at all was better than what chased after her. She felt the cold sipping into her, she was going to die and she couldn’t make herself care.
She was on the edge of dying when a hand grabbed her hair pulling back to the air, back to life. She felt warm flesh touching her frozen, and Rand’s voice talked to her, about Elayne and a woman named Min, about his plans for the future and the last battle. About every thing he thought important and every thing the wise ones told her to find out.
But though the words burned on her heart all she was really aware of was his arms around her, her head lied on his chest and she could hear his heart beating. When she opened her eyes her body moved as if by its own, taking his head in her arms she pulled him toward her to kissed him. And the world was gone in pleasure, after some time, she wasn’t sure how much only that it was considerable amount. She lied on his chest again, filled with warm and love that overpowered even saidar itself.
And only then she rose up from his embrace idly fingering the old wound in his side. She understoond that what they had done didn’t really change anything. Only mad her toh toward Elayne far bigger than it was before.
She still had to hide what she felt for him, and though she managed to be more comfortable around him while they both were awake. The nights were far worse than before, and in her dreams she lived that night again and again. What really bothered her was how he was able to pretend that nothing changed between them, and how he was at his ease around her, while she felt as if she sat on a sharp rock.
She crossed the time between the night in the snow and the battle with the Shaido in a flash, there were only endless torture in those they. And on the day when the battle began the maiden managed to convince Rand to go to the tower with her and Egwene, instead of rushing to the battle like a fool. What really amazed her was how easy it was to make him change his mind, usually he was fool enough for any five men she had ever met, and stubborn enough for ten, well maybe twenty.
Until that day she had never seen Rand channelling enough to judge his strength, but on that day she saw him channel practically for all the day, and by the thing she had seen him doing there he was more than three time her strength. And in that day the man scared her more than she ever thought she could twice! When Sammael tried to kill them and she thought him dead and when she saw him arrive. Looking more than half death and collapsed like a corps. Moiraine healed him then but even the Aes Sedai couldn’t be sure that he hadn’t gentled himself. And the hours she sat there worrying about him. From what she heard about gentling and stilling they were only crueler than death. And on that time sitting on a pallet watching Rand sleeping with the gleeman, both locked in their worries and fears. She really didn’t understand why Rand kept that man near him.
On those hours she understood that she didn’t only loved the man but… it wasn’t exactly respect but that was the closest term she succeeded to put on it, a respect that had nothing to do with that she loved him. She respected him for what he was, for what he had done. He ignored half a dozen wounds, and the weariness that came from channeling so much of the power, ignored every thing to do what he had thought was his duty. It didn’t matter to him that what he had done almost killed him, on those seemingly endless hours when she watched him breathing, not knowing whatever this one might be his last, something changed in her. She was hopelessly in love with the man for a long time, but on those hours she understood that she would be able to live had he die. Had something happened to him some part of her would die, the part of her that belongs to him. But with all those feeling something else stayed in the back of her mind, he almost killed himself and that mad her so angry that she considered killing him herself. He had no right to do this to her, no right at all.
And when he did waked she was so relieve to see that he hadn’t harm himself and so frustrate at his stubbornness that she want to hugged him and to slap his face till he look like ten sunsets. And after that when he walked into the great hall in the treekillers’ palace, she watched him dominating the room, she felt so … proud of him. But then something happened there; his eyes grew stonier with each noble coming to him till his eyes shine with dark light. She saw that cold glint in his eyes and barely hid a shiver, she saw him like that before only when he tried to follow Sammael.
After that day she had to watch him closely. A stream of young women had tried to enter into his bed. She had rather enjoyed making the woman she found on their bedchamber running half-naked. And it was even funnier to make Colavare stop sending the women. But beside the women she had to chase the days were almost pleasant. Had she could have find Elayne and convince her to share Rand with her those days would have been perfect. But though Rand seemed to continue liking her all that end the day they all gone to Caemlyn.
When he had learned that Elayne’s mother was dead she saw something that she had never thought of seeing in him, he usually had a good control on his emotions; but when Matrim told him that Morgase was dead, she saw fury strong enough to destroy the world. Yet even so she hadn’t fear from him, she never feared him.
And the day after that she met Lanfear, she had never felt so vulnerable in her life. Never felt pain as much as the Daughter of the Night made her feel. But even when Rand cut off the flows that she could see but was in too much pain to even think of reaching saidar and sever them she felt fear that was no where near to what she felt when she thought she was going to die. The Forsaken’s offer made her feel more pain than any that she felt when she was tortured. If Rand had accepted what Lanfear demanded of him she was sure she would have died. Through pain that only started to fade she saw Rand’s face when he answered Lanfear. His face frozen as they almost always was when he held saidin but his eyes was full of hate and scorn. She couldn’t understand the answer, she thought it was in the old tongue, but from Rand’s face and the Forsaken’s she could have guess what it was. She never felt that proud of him as she did then, never before and never after. And then Moiraine died and she was with Rand near the place where he made a hole into utter blackness and when she looked at his face she could have seen that he loved her, see what he felt for her as well as he felt it.
But on Caemlyn he disappears suddenly. One heartbeat he was where she could have seen him and the next he was gone; vanished into the air. But even when the fight went on she couldn’t stop worrying about him. And then he came back, throwing those bars of solid fire all around him and the Trollocs gone he hugged her, swinging her into the air. That was the last time that he was ever warm toward her. Since that day he was always cold around her, always so hard. She hadn’t understood any of this. But that was almost the last time she saw him showing a human emotion to her.
In the nights, when she watch his face silently, hard enough to be used as an anvil even while he slept she thought she found the answer. She thought at first that he was trying to avoid her to her safe, keeping her away from him so she couldn’t be hurt by someone who want to strike him and might get her. That reason made her feel both angry enough to box his ears and warm enough so she wanted to kissed him.
It had taken her months to realize the real reason. And when she did, all what she wanted was to sit down and cry as a broken heart child. He hated her. She was sure of that. On the day the gray man try to kill him, she lectured him about toh and duty — Hadn’t the gray man appeared she would have told the man that she loved him, telling him everything. And he looked at her with expressionless face and eyes that shine as a morning sky. Looked at her and bit by bit his eyes become stone, and, only for a moment so quick that she could have imagine it hate forge up in his eyes. Never touching the face, the same look he directed to Lanfear. She couldn’t stay there with him, not after that, and she practically run away from his presence, after she reach the garden she find a place where no one will find her and cried.
She cried until she had no more tears, until she almost fell asleep from exhaustion. There was no other way to hurt her more. Yet the worst of it was that she know that she deserved it, for the better part of the time she was near Rand she had tried to make him hate her. She had acted as if she hated him, no matter how much it hurt. ji’e’toh left her no other choice. She had tried to make him hate her and apparently she had done just that. She only wished that it hadn’t hurt her so much.
And when she tried to come back to Rand’s rooms she almost cried again when she saw him, the man she loved, the man who hated her, he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. And he hated her.

That thought hadn’t left her, couldn’t have left her. She fell asleep in the moment she was in her pallet, and dreamed about Rand, about that night when she run away from him. Only when she open her eyes in the dream she wasn’t in Rand’s embrace. Rand’s body lied near her already stiffening lost forever for her, lost for what she had done. She woke to the sound of screams; screams that she first thought belonged to her. But it wasn’t her that was screaming; Rand was there sleeping in the bed and screaming as if his soul had taken away from him. She was there as fast as she could, waking him up. No matter what he felt for her she still loved him. And to see him screaming was beyond her, but when she did succeed to wake him he only sat there holding her as if she was the last thing in the world. With face twisted in pain that she never even thought possible and eyes that looked as if saw every horror that ever happened to a man or a woman since creation. He started to talk to her, in voice that made his face and his eyes look cheer. He told her about the War of Power, about the forsaken and the Dark One. He talked about Parran Disen and the Hall of Servants and a hundred other places. He talked about Lanfear and Ilyena, about saidin and the taint. About the time he forsook the light and had gone into the Pit of Doom to swear fealty to the Dark One on the third year of the War of Shadow. He spoke about how he led armies of shadowspawn and shadowrunners in numbers that she could barely imagine to a trap that save the light. He talked about the arguments on the Hall of Servant, about a woman he called Latra Posas. He said her name with as much hate as he gave Ishmael’s. He told her about the day when he gather the Hundred Companions to attack Shyol Ghul, and the taint that was the result. About how he killed all those he cared about and cared about him. He talked about the Betrayer of Hope. And that he had been healed to see what he had done. He told her that he killed himself for that when he understood what he had done in madness. He even told her about the world of dreams, about waking form what he wanted to be an eternal sleep. Without dreams or nightmares to make him relive that day when he lost all what he had. About endless years without end or dying, about grave that had eaten him. He told her all that while tears streamed down his face and sobs shaked his body. Crying on her shoulder he finishes his story. She stroke her fingers through his hair, whispering words that she knew were useless. Rocking back and forth with his head on her shoulder she had put her head on his shoulder and cried quietly.
Not for all those long dead men and women he cried about but for the man she loved. For the man that had to carry all that weight on him for so long and for all the things she could have done differently to change the outcome of the events. She felt him falling asleep on her shoulder, and covered him gently with a blanket. Then she sat herself on the bed, cross legs and put her chin between her hand and watched him. She couldn’t decide with whom she talked with. Was it Rand who had cried like a child in her arms, she couldn’t believe this, she had seen Rand angry and in fury, saw him showing any emotion save hurt. As far as she could tell he didn’t even felt it, she saw him with eyes that shone like the skies with fury or hate and even love, but he never cried, never. Or was it Lews Therin Kinslayer himself? Had she talked with the dragon himself, with the man that reborned as Rand? Or was it only the madness in working that talked?
Yet the most frightening thing in all that was that in the morning Rand remembered none of it. She had tried to question him about it, and he denied any such thing. All while wearing face as if her being near him hurt him. That was almost the last time they talked.
The next time she talked to him was when he stepped out of a gateway, smiling smugly and looking almost as if her presence hadn’t bothered him. When she understood why he was smiling about she felt stab of fear and another one of hope. She might not come back alive from her meeting her toh to Elayne but she might also come back with Elayne’s approval. Yet whatever outcome will come from that she would accept. One way or another she won’t have to pretend any more.
It had taken her very small time to convince him that she needed to see Elayne. And most amazing than all was that he looked regretful of her leaving. Maybe he didn’t hate her, maybe he only pretended to, as she herself had done so long.
And so she went to Elayne and told her that she is in love with Rand, told her that she had spend a night in his arms, and from the look on her face she read all she needed to know. Elayne would refuse to even consider her as a sister wife. She would probably kill her too. She closed her eyes and fingered the bracelet that Rand gave her in Cold Rock Hold, in what seem a thousand lifetimes ago. The bracelet was her most precious thing in the world. She would have preferred losing a hand or an eye than losing it. She held Rand’s face in her mind, as he looked like on that night in the snow, if she was going to die she would die with him. And then out of the blue Elayne had told her that they could share him, giving her own thoughts back. But even more startling than that was the discovery of Min. That another women loved him, that there was another woman that she had to share Rand with. And then there was all the time away from Rand. All the time when she felt as if she was uncompleted and tomorrow it would all end, tomorrow she would see Rand again. She could tell him that she loved him. She would make up for all the time she had to pretend that she didn’t like him, she would.
All that flashed in Aviendha’s head in moments. And she found herself standing with Min and Elayne in front of the king’s rooms in Illian; bleak faces had hid any emotion. But there were still things she could read in them. The slight tightness of Elayne mouth and the way Min walked talked about tense. She had no idea what mad Min so tense, they knew Rand was safe. But she could have guessed what the other thought of, Elayne didn’t really liked having to leave Birgitte behind. Even when her warder insisted on that, Birgitte refused even to listen Elayne in that matter.
I won’t meet Lews Therin, Elayne. Not before he will know about me, Lews Therin was a friend for long time, but he still might know me. Sometimes things passed from other lives, and he saw me in this life. Let him know who and what I’m first. That was what she said to Elayne then, after a moment she continued in hesitated voice. You can tell him about me. He needs to know, and I won’t hide it from him.
A thing that made no sense at all, but Elayne seemed to understand what Birgitte talked about. Though Elayne insisted about telling Min and Aviendha also. Aviendha had no idea what it was, Elayne just looked at her oddly when she asked her, and told her that she could tell her only after they would see Rand.
Elayne led the way, she had been in Illian before, and she knew where the king rooms were. And that if the servant had told them the truth and Aviendha doubted if she would have dared to lie to them after what Elayne had almost done to her was where Rand was. The gilded doors of the king rooms were drowned in shades, and two of them became real.
Two black clad men, one in his middle years and having the look of a soldier and another barely more than a boy. Aviendha gave a start at first, and saidar filled her. She had nothing to fear while she held saidar, unless one of the Forsakens was still around. And she doubted that very much, none of them would risk being near Rand. With the power she could smell the perfume from both Min and Elayne, she felt every stir of the air against her skin, saw the pins that decorated the men’s collar. A silver sword, perfect with blade and hilt shining against the da’tsang black.
The light of saidar surrounded Elayne, and she felt the same weaves she meant to weave. Air to bind hands and legs, if this was the guard Rand had placed to keep him safe he was more than the fool he sometimes act like. Anyone could pass those two guardians…. Her thought stopped sharply as the two men tensed, as if they could feel the power in her. That wasn’t possible, no man should be able to feel that. No man save… the True Source was gone from her as the men shielded her, the light of saidar was gone from Elayne, and she staggered and had to lean on one of the walls of the hall to keep herself standing. Aviendha heard herself grunting, fear babbled up in her.
Those two men must be of the Black Tower, those who came to Rand to learn to channel. They could channel! And she was caught in their weaves, it was far different with Rand al'Thor. She had never feared him.
"Aes Sedai." Whispered the older man, there wasn’t fear in his voice nor hate. As it was usually in men’s voices when they talked about Aes Sedai. He merely mentioned facts. “What do you trying to do, Min? Taking… those to the Lord Dragon. And how did you get here anyway, we left you on Cairhien?”
Min glanced at him in surprise; "Rand will want to see them, Flinn. You can be sure of that." The men still looked doubted but the shield was gone from her and they motioned them to enter, she didn’t touch saidar again though. There was no reason to be foolish. They entered the room, Elayne still peering over her shoulder to see the two men, though Aviendha didn’t understood why. They just melt back into the shadows, their cloths making part of it. She could understand easily why they reacted that way when they felt them channeling, what Min told them… she meant to find the Aes Sedai Rand and these men had captured and make them regret for ever hurting her Rand.
The throne room or whatever it was called in Illian was empty but when they entered the bedchamber Rand was there, a young reddish hair men with blue gray eyes that was usually as hard as stone. She stepped into the room, toward him, eagerly. And stopped short after two steps, and dismissed the 'young', she was in Rhuidean and some of the objects there were old. Very old. Rand could make them look young; he had been aged since she saw him last. Aged in more than the month or so she was away, he looked ancient. He was so beautiful, her heart ached and her knees trembled. Rand was smiling, and he glided toward them, rising from the chair he was sitting on and putting the cup of wine aside.
"So hard, oh light. He’s so hard." Murmured Elayne, her face stunned.