Humor
My Erlang Religious Moment
It is not often that a piece of code cause me to have a religious moment, but this one managed to:
NHibernate – Get Thou Out Of My Database – 2nd Edition
Following up on my previous post, the customer has complained about table names like [tbl_-1434067361], apparently they felt that this was misusing their naming policy. I told them that while I understood that, it did meet their naming policy. I got a new naming policy that stated that numbers are not allowed in column or table name, (and showing forethought) that table names must be composed of valid English words. I, of course, decided that if this is what they wanted, they will get just that. And created this: The words.txt file was taken from...
Does this include a trip to Mars as well?
I'll be the first to admit that I am not the best at Geography, but somehow I don't think that this is likely.
Random Developer Quotes
Those are just things that I happened to hear or say in the last week: Q: Did you read the book Beautiful Architecture? A: No, I don’t read fantasy books. And: Q: Why are you doing the dishes? A: I was a C++ programmer for a long time, I am used to cleaning up after myself.
Post #4000
Dear ALT.NET Community, You are likely familiar with that classic Warren Zevon song, Werewolves of London. I was reminded of this the last night being in London under a full moon and in the same hotel as one of the more famous Lycanthropic developers in the .NET community, Ayende Rahien, with whom you are also likely familiar as, well, you are reading his feed. Duh. Shocked? Read on... To call Ayende a werewolf is inacurate, of course. A lycanthrope, yes: Half-man, half-animal (i.e. manimal). But his primal half does not take the form of the lupine. Rather,...
Why I released Windsor?
Because getting kicked that many times will hurt:
1st April Post – The multi purpose method
Since it appears to be customary, I decided that I need to make a few posts for April 1st. Here is the second of them. public void RemoveReversalsMoveCompletedMessagesAndFinishSubQueueMove(Guid transactionId)
{
Api.JetSetCurrentIndex(session, txs, "by_tx_id");
Api.MakeKey(session, txs, transactionId.ToByteArray(), MakeKeyGrbit.NewKey);
if (Api.TrySeek(session, txs, SeekGrbit.SeekEQ) == false)
return;
Api.MakeKey(session, txs, transactionId.ToByteArray(), MakeKeyGrbit.NewKey);
Api.JetSetIndexRange(session, txs, SetIndexRangeGrbit.RangeInclusive | SetIndexRangeGrbit.RangeUpperLimit);
do
{
...
1st April Post – Sending Data
Since it appears to be customary, I decided that I need to make a few posts for April 1st. Here is the first of them. private IEnumerator<int> SendInternal(AsyncEnumerator ae)
{
try
{
using (var client = new TcpClient())
{
try
{
...
Raising the level of abstraction
Right now I am working with a co-worker, and I realized that I am: Using Mac OS Running Windows in VMWare Fusion To connect via SharedView to a remote machine To connect via remote desktop to another machine Which is also a virtual instance And I wonder about the latency…
Laughing in code
I am not sure that this will make any sort of sense world wide, but Israeli coders should have a chuckle or two over this:
There is no database
I just noticed that for the last few months I have been consistently denying the existence of a database. I use the term persistent storage when asked, and when asked I usually say: “There is no database”. It has gotten to the point that this is how I draw the DB on most whiteboard sessions:
More funny code
I like going through the Mass Transit code base. Here is one reason:
Who wrote this code?!
A drunken monkey, using his left feet
Honest, it was the cat
Offshore team of developer using the latest chisel technology
It was lovingly crafted by a monk in a mountain on the Himalaya and submitted on six hundred A4 pages, the calligraphy was impressive
Me
Joking in Code
People has started to use the comments of the previous post for putting programming jokes. Let us make this formal. I want to see code that is funny, or jokes in code. The condition is that it has to be production worthy code. No perl poetry or things that you can do with the language just because you can.
I call this, being optimistic
Here is a joke that only tech people will get:
Solving the impendence mismatch between Hierarchical Data and XML
I was very impressed when I saw how Subversion handles the complexity of having data of hierarchical nature that needs to be serialized to XML. Check this out. <?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<S:editor-report xmlns:S="svn:">
<S:target-revision rev="11"/>
<S:open-root rev="-1"/>
<S:open-directory name="tags" rev="-1"/>
<S:add-directory name="tags/asd"/>
<S:close-directory/>
<S:close-directory/>
<S:close-directory/>
</S:editor-report>
And here is another one:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<S:editor-report xmlns:S="svn:">
<S:target-revision rev="15"/>
<S:open-root rev="-1"/>
<S:open-directory name="trunk" rev="-1"/>
<S:open-file name="trunk/a.txt" rev="-1"/>
<S:apply-textdelta checksum="eabc96676e7defda414a1eed33bdfb09">
U1ZOAAAQEwETk2FzZDENCjINCjMNCjQNCjUNCjY=
</S:apply-textdelta>
<S:close-file checksum="c6301e5dad1330a7b9bd5491702c801b"/>
<S:close-directory/>
<S:close-directory/>
</S:editor-report>
I was, as they say incredibly happy...
Extreme Patterns Video
I was asked a few times about recording a course, so I think that a few people would be happy to know that Glenn Block has posted a discussions that we had about a month ago.
You can find it here
Web development with training wheels?
This quote has me floored: Well, I'm an asp.net developer, not really a web developer. It is like web development with training wheels, only the training wheels are really heavy, uneven, and make riding the bike harder
Choices...
IFooFactoryFactoryFactoryFactory vs. Factory<Factory<Factory<Factory<Factory<IFooFactory>>>>> Discuss...
OSS Chat logs:
[friend] says: I think maybe we should at least provide something as simple as MR[friend] says: sorry I mean RoRAyende Rahien says: I hereby grant you permission to do thatAyende Rahien says: send us a patch
My Startup Idea: Rocket Launcher
Taking advantage of a loophole in the export laws and some creative marketing, I am pretty sure that a startup to sell USB Nuclear Powered Rocket Launchers to petty tyrants is the next big thing.* Wish me well, I now need to learn how to say I come in peace in Persian. * This is a three level joke, if you don't get, don't worry, it is not intended to you.
Pattern madness
For the last few hours, I wrote: Layout Layout Decorator Layout Registry Layout Decorator Resolver I am looking back at it right now, and I made a vow, Thou Shall Not Write an ILayoutDecoratorResolverFactory.
The ALT.Net quote of the day
You have to follow the discussion to understand that. Bil Simser: @Glenn: Someone posted a reply on my blog about the guidance package:"I don't really like what they did there. Having views like IContactDetailView puts the model into the view which is exactly what you are trying to separate. IMO Views should be things like Grid, Spreadsheet, Detail, etc which can handle any domain object (Contact, Customer, etc)" Ayende Rahien: That is the Extremely Passive View.It basically says that a view is the base control, and you need to handle that. A view IMO is the presentation required...
Who is hacking my CLR?
Interesting way to cache that :-)
Do Androids Dream of Electric Monorails (While They're Hibernating)?
I just love this post title, but I am not coming out with any statement about it for the next five months.
The Customer that Microsort asks
So, a lot of time, I hear Microsoft talk about asking their customers about their design and their requests. I have a few personas that I have in mind when I think about that. The first one is the clueless enterprisey architect, haven't touched code in five years. The second one? The guy that aspires to be a Mort one day, the guy that he looks down at, that is the other persona.
Geek Scripture
At first, there was the bit. And the bit shifted left, and the bit shifted right, and there was the byte. The byte grew into a word, and then into double word. And the developer saw the work and it was good. And the evening and the morning were the first day. On the next day, the developer came back to the work and couldn’t figure out what he was thinking last night, and spent the whole day figuring that out.
An apt description of ALT.Net
Charlie Poolie, on the ALT.Net mailing list: So one reaction I had to Alt.NET was that it was a group of folks who don't do stupid things: sort of like forming a club for people who don't playin traffic or don't juggle sharp instruments.Oddly, as others have pointed out to me, such a group is actually needed in the .NET world. ROTFL.
Coding Standard - Names
Names should be in ASCII and are limited to [a-zA-Z0-9_]. Anything else, is a heretic attempt to cause me, personally, problems.So speaks the guy who had to convince a company that building a platform on Hebrew# is not a good idea. In addition to that, those names should be in English, consistently spelled and have a uniform coding style. I don't care what, just that it is consistent and uniform. Nevertheless, Hungarian notation should be left to those who dreams of the coup of the pwsz and its friend, cbSize. Transcripting variables names is also a sin, and it punishable...
Misconceptions
I was explaining to a couple of team members about our stack (NHibernate, Castle, Boo, Rhino) and how the different pieces are hooked together. When I got to talk to Boo, I explained that it is just like Brail, which we are using for the views. One of the guys then asked if Boo stands for Brail, Object Oriented
Taken out of context
For the last few days, I seem to be saying a lot of things that can be... misunderstood without the borader picture I feel that I can confidently mistake... I didn't hit you by mistake... I feel no urge to be self consistent, and I see no problem with this world view... Don't let a chicken do your ETL process...
Herd Mentality and writing Compilers
Quotes from a discussion with Justin: I am using Active Record out of Herd Mentality, you are big enough to be considered a herd. And: You are writing a compiler, this is just a state machine. Workflow Foundation is a state machine. You should use that to write the compiler.
The brain to IDE interface
It was mentioned on the ALT.Net mailing list, so I decided to build it, but the first results are not encouraging...
Quotes from class
I am not sure why, but we had some hilarious quotes today at class: When I talked about Erlang and showed an Erlang echo program in about 20 lines of code.Student: Echo is a single word in DOS I was cackling about that for a good five minutes, but this is the one that really had me in stitches: Student: My wife made my code cleaner, she put periods instead of semi colons and straighten the indentations. She didn't understand why I am so messy when I write, nor why I wasn't happy that she "cleaned it up"...
Thinking on Code
I found myself writing this down right now: Right now, a lot of the code that we write is just that, code. In need decrypting before it can be understood. It made me laugh in retrospect.
The Consulting Game
Casey had this to say: I have actually seen organisations where (in one case actually explicitly expressed, and in many where it wasn't spoken out loud) software delivered roughly meeting the requirements on how the UI worked was considered delivered. The work to make it work (usually way more work than the initial delivery) was considered 'bug fixing' and therefore was billable additinally by the IT department or outsourcer. Which reminded me of a joke about consultants, no relation to anyone I know, etc... One day the manager calls the consultant to talk about the time sheet report......
The "I am really not drunk" post
Just got from the bar, and I have met a bet with a few of the guys there, that I am not really drunk. To prove that, I need to write correct multi threaded code. I started to write parallel sort routine, Erlang fashion, in C#, but that is too complex for me when I am not under suspiction of being drunk. So I wrote Hello World. It is 400 lines of code and it has got five threads, so I guess that officially proves that I am not drunk. Now all I need is to figure out why...
Employee Communication DSL
We have a client that is a Pro Microsoft big time. We are constantly running into SSIS issues at their end, and it has gotten to the point where I am willing to rewrite the entire ETL process from scratch, and I am quite certain that it will take me far less than it would on any other way. Here is my boss' reply to the suggestion to use Rhino ETL: If boo in configuration Explain to {John, Jane} onEach(day: is(Monday) ) If ETL in DataLoader While(true) Explain() You meant going back to using SQL jobs...
Google searches I am ashamed of...
This is wrong on so many levels...
How to measure maintainability
I have been reminded that metrics should have some sort of a measurement to them. Here is my own method, which requires some special audio recording equipment. Go into the room and say: "Guys, the client want to change something" Measure the strength of the groans.
Do you get the joke?
This just passed my email, and brought an ironic grin.
It is a matter of style...
Today I freaked out two co-workers by looking at their code and saying (respectively) "How long have you worked with C?" and "You didn't get a lot of time with C++, right?" The pieces of code in question were: (for the C comment) Customer customer = null
for(int i=0;i<array.Length;i++)
{
customer = new Customer();
//do stuff
}
And: (for the not a lot of time in C++ comment)
int totalCarCount;
if( IsValid )
{
totalCarCount = GetValidTotalCars();
}
else
{
totalCarCount = GetInvalidTotalCars();
}
int totalWheelCount;
DoComplexWheelCalculation( out totalWheelCount);
And yes, the examples here are fake, and both are good developers, and I just said what came to mind first :-)
As intended, not as expected
Coworker: We see this issue on this use case, is this a bug? Me: Well, it works exactly the way we intended it to work, just not as the client expected it to work.
An additional language
Go read this, had me laughing out load. So appropriate.
My mythical DBA
Okay, tonight it happened, my other personality jumped on the chance to get me when I was down about the tree view incident, and it took over in the middle of class. Symptoms ranged from fast speaking, cracking jokes* and basically covering a 12 hours material overview in about 20 minutes. Usually it takes three drinks in very small glasses to get him out. I wouldn't mind that much except that such incidents burned so much energy while leaving me so jumpy. I can't speak right now, because I am just pushing out words faster than I can think about....
Modern Day Cusring
Cusring is traditionally related to discussing what your ancestor did with the goat, but I think that there are a lot of options that are ignored in the modern world. Here are a few that I was able to use today in front of my brother: May you be stuck in traffic. May your iPod's battery die just before a 12 hours flight. May you get home after a late night, and find that there is no parking in three miles range. May you have to learn SQL as a self defence. Any creative ideas?
How many digs in a single paragraph?
From the Hibernate Blog:Well, it is nice for us, but it's not nice for the guy who comes along next! He's one of those shiny-eyed (and slightly scary) Ruby fanatics. Or maybe he's a VB guy (senior citizens matter too). Or maybe its 5000 years from now: Java and Ruby have both vanished (of course, VB is going strong) and a team of archeaologists from Ganymede are trying to piece together something about our forgotten civilization from what's left of your customer database, using the recently released Perl 6.0. Wouldn't it be easier for them if...
Pictures from DevTeach
I actually took a camera, but I forgot to take any pictures, so I am mostly reliant on Flickr for photos. Here are a couple good ones: Roy Osherove preaching Agile. Beth Massi, Nick Landry and Scott Bellware - demonstrating Shared Ownership
What to do on the weekend
From Hammett's (lead dev for Castle Project) Twittering: hamilton verissimo: good, weekend! now I can work from home...
Watch what you say, Mister!
I am writing a document, and I just had a hilarious typo. The subject of the document is managing development environment, the title of the document, however, was: "Managing Secudction Envrionment". First time I realized that in hebrew, development and seduction are literally one typo away. Considerring the target audience, it is a good thing that I got that in time.
TFS: Potshots
Jeremy Miller just commented on my previous post, and I couldn't help responding:I've heard pro-VSTS folks slam the OSS tools for being tinker toys and difficult to integrate (not in my experience, but it's their story), but many of these same pro-VSTS folks sell consulting services to set up VSTS. If VSTS is so easy to get up and going, why are people able to make a living doing just that? Because when you are integrating OSS tools, you are wasting your time. When you integrate TFS, you are being enterprisey. ...
Using the power of the press to stop VS crashes
I just hit a reproducable bug in VS that would cause an IDE crash. I also found out how to fix it. Fire Camtasia and do the exact same operation using Camtasia. Work perfectly.
Microsoft Enterprise Mocking Block
It has come to my attention that Microsoft will be soon releasing a CTP of a new block in the EntLib series. Following to footsteps of the Policy Injection Block, the Enterprise Mocking Block will allow developers to finally cease to write expectations for mock objects with 70% less code than before. Based of proven practices from the field, the Microsoft Enterprise Mocking Block is capable of producing a fake implementation of an interface, with hardly any code at all. I am afraid that words would fail to describe what the guys at...
My Boss' Guideline to interfacing with external code...
I just had to post this. When you are dealing with external code, you have to assume the worst. Lesson 4 from CS110, a well written function is divided to: Perconditions - checking the state of the object and the state of the arguments Have you way with the code (It was much worse in Hebrew). Validate the post conditions
Not very forward thinking of me...
I am writing documentation now, and I just wrote this sentence:End date for the system is defined as 31-12-2999, at which time significant work will be done to ensure continued correct operation of the system. It is a running joke that none of the developers in my team may response to a call beyond the grave to maintain the system when this date arrives.
Finding the performance problem
Background: I was pairing with another dev to do Watin tests for a page, we have code similar to this: [Test] public void CanAddNoteToPolicy() ...
Because some things are just muscle memory
D:\Tools>type nant.cmd msbuild default.build
How The Dog Ate Rhino Mocks
So yesterday I sat down to see what I can about the remaining Rhino Mocks bug, when I was suddenly and viciously attacked by a wild beast. After the inital confusion, it turn out that the mad barking and the slavering wasn't, as I concluded at first, an indication that I am edible, but rather that Rose has found a bug in Dynamic Proxy. It is not often that I turn to a canine for a bit of advise about runtime IL generation, but Rose is something special. Below you can see...
Grande Ayende
Some things just sound better in Italian, and I just couldn't let this slide by unnoticed: Oh, and I do sleep, except that I dream of code*. * And I actually don't kid you about this. I spend as little time as possible thinking about work code outside of work, but for some reason I wake up the last couple of weeks wanting to get to the office first, so I can start playing with the cool stuff before the other guys arrive and claim that territory....
Java.com WTF
I found this very amusing:
From the IM logs
After the fact, I think it is funny: Ayende Rahien says: Real development for me means that I can use .Net Ayende Rahien says: And that means that I got to have R#, Ayende Rahien says: that means that I got to have VS.Net Ayende Rahien says: :-( JetBrains, can we please get an IDE...
All the ways to beat a dead horse
This had be laughing out load: In business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: Buying a stronger whip. Read the rest, it is funny.
Dialog of the Day
During a debug session; Me: Could you explain to me how could I be this stupid? Imperial: Yes, but you wouldn't understand it. I like that sense of humor.
How do you know when you did too much WPF?
I just got a compiler error that had me laughing out load.Apperantly this is not a valid C# code:user.SetToAdmin()/>
Real Quotes from a Status Meeting
Yes, they actually were said in a meeting yesterday: This is a feature, not a bug. Not supported The spec is flawed. No, it wasn't me saying them, and they actually made sense in context (but were hilarious none the less).
Geek Humor;
From the IRC channel; 1> i already work 12-15 hours a day 2> well stop that! 1> i'm working on that... 1> which, of course, is infinite recursion This is hilarious!
Code in the Movies
There are a lot of reasons why I can't go to any movie that feature code/hacking in it... I like fantasy as much as the next D&D fan, but code in the movies is way off in la-la land. Drivl has the complete details
Rhino Mocks is in a fighting shape
I am testing Rhino Mocks with Dynamic Proxy 2, and I just noticed that I have a test with the following name:VerifyingThatCanAttackOtherEvent Hm... another case on not so inocent typo, I believe...
Attack of the Clones
This is an expert (translated) from a memo to one of our customers:The specification of Oren Eini has began with [Analyst], followup on specification's completeness and correctness by [project manager] by [date]. And I am not even working in a bio-engineering startup! P.S: This message brought to you by Oren Eini Clone #343 Alpha 0.595 DoesNotComputeException...
Can you spot the joke?
Okay, so I highjacked the company's job spot to put my job advertisement. I think that is is doing a much better job than a generic "dotNet programmer with 2 year exp." You can see this here. (Suggestions are welcomed, by the way). Anyway, there is a joke there, can you spot it?
Amusing error
I got this error trying to build the mod_python extention:error: The .NET Framework SDK needs to be installed before building extensions for Python. I am not sure what to say about this...
A new approach to layers
I am learning BizTalk at the moment, and I get to cringe a bit at the terminology Microsoft Official Curriculum uses. Shapes? Drag with the mouse? Am I back to drawing with the turtle in Logo? I am heavily baised against this because of some bad experiances with trying to do complex stuff in SSIS, so anything that resembels Mouse Driven Development makes me very suspicous. I got into an argument with the instructor about something he said (paraphrasing from Hebrew): "And BizTalk is on top of IIS." I immediately...
Patching WTF...
The Daily WTF stopped doing screen shots, so here it goes... Probably some stupid enconding issue :-(
How to shoot yourself in the foot...
Hilarious! Check this out. And yes, this is a new one.
Bleeding edge
I think it is funny.
Now this is scary...
Check this out, a story about porting a car transmission system. The last sentence pretty much summarize it:I don’t know which scares me the most…a virtual processor running a transmission, or a transmission controller so complex that creating a virtual processor is simpler than a re-implementation?
Code I care for...
I was talking with a friend about throwing code away, and I mentioned a particular piece of code that will be in this project forever. It is a small screen that is used in one particular obscure scenario. The reason? There was too much cursing involved in this screen to give it up :-)
.Net The Spawn Of Satan
I just found the text below on the NUnit forum (removed since then), and I couldn't stop laughing. Please do not develope components for .NET It has become required for a few companies apps like Sony and ATI. It installs over 15,000 registry entries! It is a complete hostile takeover of a system. It does not benefit the user. ...
The Case of the not so innocent typo...
Life gets interesting with creative spelling error. I was checking a problem with a page today when I noticed the... interesting name it had... "EmployeeAssassinationValidatorRules.aspx" No, I don't work on that kind of system. The name should haved been named "EmployeeAssignationValidatorRules.aspx", or better yet, "EmployeeAssignmentsValidatorRules.aspx". But creative mispelling and taking the first result from Babylon spelling fixer. I wonder what would happen if I didn't both to actually read the page name, how long it would go unnoticed...
Someone here doesn't get Test Driven Development
Trying to get a report of a test run, a shady guy around here has wrote the following code, included in full: private DataSet ExtractResult(TestSuiteResult result) { DataSet res = new DataSet("AllResult"); res.Tables.Add ( "Diagnostics" ); res.Tables["Diagnostics"].Columns.Add(new DataColumn("Description", typeof(string))); res.Tables["Diagnostics"].Columns.Add(new DataColumn("Passed", typeof(bool))); res.Tables["Diagnostics"].Columns.Add(new DataColumn("Message", typeof(string))); foreach (TestSuiteResult o in result.Results) ...
Not something that I will EVER be part of
This TV Show has some drastic consequences for getting the wrong answer. [Via: James Robertson]
No, I will probably not explain...
This post is dedicated to HBool, which is always false on Sunday.
Code Monkey Video
A couple of weeks ago, the Code Monkey song made the rounds. Now there is a video, and it is hilarious!
An Answer To Remember
I frequent some of the programming forums in Tapuz. Justin has decided to answer a question there that cracks me up every time that I read it (5 - 6 times so far). The question was why "Dim objRegex as Regex" gave an error, by the way. I have no idea if it will be as funny in English, but here is Justin's answer: Have you considered reading the error message? ...
How (not) To Send Mail
Check out this guy attempt to send mail in .Net. Even if .Net shipped without a System.Web.Mail namespace, it would be easier to just write an SMTP client from scratch. Just so you would get it, this guy is simulating user input on a server to send mail via outlook. Because of outlook 2003 security feature, this guy purchased a third party commercial application called ClickYes that click yes for outlook security dialogs. WTF!!! The really scary thing is that this ClickYes application has a server version....
My Name Is Legion
Hm... check this out. Now I have an identity crisis. Bummer.
Sample Exam Questions
Not those are good questions.
I'm 1337 !!!
1'm 50 c00|. 1 607 1337 p0575 1n my b|065. 700k 4 |0n6 71m3 70 d0 17, bu7 1 607 50m3 f4ncy 57uff 601n6 0n. H0p3 7h47 1'|| b3 4b|3 70 c4rry 17 f0rw4rd. F0r 7h3 b0r1n6 p30p|3 0u7 7h3r3. 7r4n5|4710n 15 h3r3.
From Tech Ed Eilat
I'm writing this post on IE 7 from a Vista laptop that is about twice the size of my normal laptop. It is so big that it has a full keyboard, including the numeric keypad. I have no idea what the model is, but the screen it huge.
I was at the LINQ Session right now, and I was impressed with the capabilities even though I already knew about most of them. One very troubling things came up on this talk. DLinq is not going to support many to many assoications on the first version. This is fairly common, and I'm...
You're a DBA If...
This list had me laughing out loud too often.It is great.
Windows Doesn't Scale!
Recently I got to talk with a couple of people about scaling problems in Windows. We got into discussion how it's hard to get ASP.Net to send files that are bigger than 2 Gigabytes, how Asp.Net gets unresponsive when you put thousands of subfolders under the web application folder, how Inidgo will only allow a measly 80,000 Terabytes of data per message. It turned out that I found another one, trying to scroll through a search result of ~8,000 images set to thumbnail is very slow and you can Drag and Drop stuff...
Violence is the easiest answer
Axiom: All problems can be solved* with a sufficent level of violence. Proof: My computer is noisy, I hit it and it goes quite. It is stupid, and will keep making noises in a couple of hours, at which point I'm probably going to hit it again. No point in ruining a lucky streak. * For a flexible defination of solved and as long as we disregard the law of unintended consequences. [I'm on 1.5 hours of sleep in the last 38 hours.]
How many ASF committers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Found here, got an LOL from me: Q: How many ASF committers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder while chanting "+1".
What Microsoft is searching for?
I'm not sure if this is an April's Fool or a read thing, but Google just made public some search data. This mean that you can find out what the people from Microsoft are searching for. I found it interesting that one of the top search terms was: "Google Jobs"
Test Driven Development Is About Failing
This post has nothing to do with Rocky's comments on DNR I was testing using NHibernate in ways that I never did before*, and the test kept failing. Each time I would fix one thing, and another part would break. It wasn't very obvious how to make it work. I had a guy watch over my shoulder while I worked throught the kinks of the problem. After the test failed repeatedly for the 10th time or so he just muttered something about "never making it work right" and walked away to do something else. ...
How a geek watch the solar eclipse?
There was a partial solar eclipse in Israel today.I got to watch the sun gets dark, through a floppy disk.
You know you've been doing too much CodeDom when...
You start throwing InvalidOperationExpression all over the place :-)
Hilarious VS.Net Ads
I just found this site, and it's simply killing me. I watched all the videos, and they are great. Check out #346 (flash, so no link). I nearly ruin the keyboard and a whole lot more because of this.
Getting to the right decision
It's not often that technical stuff makes me laugh (other than the Daily WTF, of course). But check out this snipe here:Which is easiest to read? You decide. (But if you decide anything other than “the first one,” well, you’re wrong. And you should be eating your pizza with your hands.)
On Fear And Steadfastness
I read this quote somewhere today (I am afraid that I can't remember where):The man who shovel cow shit all day is mostly afraid that the cow will die.
Some considerations when choosing a framework
This article is a must for anyone who is evaluating any sort of a frameowork. All things in Computer Science can be solved by adding another layer of abstraction, except having too many layers of abstractions. Can I have a hammer please?
www.ie7.com
Go check this out: http://www.ie7.com/
Windows Boots on MacBook Pro
This is wonderful, Windows Boots On Mac
The Space Shuttle And The Width Of A Horse Ass
This post is a killer. Sahil explains the relationship between the Space Shuttle and the width of a horse ass. It is incredeibly funny post, go check it out. (Oh, and next time that the software chagne, don't complain about it.)
Things I have learned today
Random thoughts about today, no real content:
Copying gigabytes of data is going to take a long time.
Debugging Brail is fun, you get to play the "Who exactly changed this bit" game, where you have the pre processor, Brail's compiler extentions and Boo's magic all mixing together to a complete whole.
It's not good to save dynamic assemblies to the bin directory of an ASP.Net application, the application will reset itself on each request. It make debuging sort of hard, I heard.
Causing your head to impact the wall at high speed hurts. And it also attracts some funny glances. What is up...
History Of Languages
Go and read this, a history of C & History of Basic. I laughed so hard I couldn't breath.
No code today
I feel a burning in my eyes, a pain in my temples. What can it be? Perhaps it is this code that I just read? Unfortantely I can't post it, but it's a TheDailyWTF candidate for sure. The authors carefuly considered each and every best practice in .Net, and gave them a very careful, very... interesting twist. For instance, on the subject of business objects vs. datasets, the code implements ORM on top of DataSets, Argh! And that isn't the least of it! So, I'm not going to write any more code today...
The Zealot
I knew that I would appear somehwere in Eric's post about Super Programmers & Villians. I'm the zealot, take a look at my code, it has so many design patterns I can't really count them all. And just wait until you'll see what I'm doing with generics, anonymous methods and iterators in C# 2.0. Hahahah!* *Evil Laugher fading into the distance...
Good quotes
These quotes really cracked me up, I have to find an excuse to use them on someone sometime. I think my favorites are: "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." --Winston Churchill "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --Irvin S. Cobb
On naming things right the first time
This joke really hit home. I served two years in the same base, and my father always thought I was serving in a totally different base.
Searchable project name, first for Microsoft
I just noticed, Microsoft finally learned a very important lesson. Make it searchable. ...after giving the CLR the nearly unsearchable name of .Net, which is the second most common name on the internet, bested only by COM, which is also a product of Microsoft. ...after unleashing C#, which is just as unsearchable. Microsoft finally learned. Linq is actually searchable, with good results*. * 24 Hours after the announcement, the official page is #5 at goggle (but doesn't appear on the first 20 results on MSN,...
Mondays
Listening to dotNet Rocks is a given, but that has led me to Mondays. I'm not sure how to define the show, an adult comedy of people who should probably be locked up in a padded cell, maybe. Regardless of definitions, this is one hell hell of a comedy. I was listening to that during my exercise yesterday, and I'm pretty sure that someone called the police about the strange man with the seizures in the park. I laughed so hard I could barely walk. Recommended, but I'm not sure...
Funny quote
I just read this post; it's a review about an apperantly bad magazine* which contain this quote: For
all this wonderful material, you'll never guess the price tag. Come on,
guess it. I thought so. It's 69 silver ones an issue!! I can get a book
for that kind of dough. With thoughts in it. I just made me burst out laughing, but I seem to do it a lot today.
The things you read on IRC
I was chatting in Boo's irc channel wished he had the ability to add quotes to the channel because of this comment: i have no idea what success is. it hasn't been implemented Believe it or not, but that made sense...
Ayende's Google
Now this is personalized search :-) Go here to get your own. [Via: Micro Persuasion]
This is hilarious: Client ToS for Mastercard
Check out the new Mastercard's Client's Terms of Use, this time it is the other way around.
Book Review: Burning Water
Burning Water Yes another by Mercedes Lackey, about a serial killer and a witch that tries to catch it. I noticed several strange things about this book: It wasn't a Valdamar novel, and I really wanted to read one, but it was still a good story. It takes place in ~1986, and I just couldn't believe some things that happened there. The character search for a pay-phone (why...
If Microsoft does it...
I just got the following error message from ASP.Net, notice the
professional error message, next time someone says anything about my error messages ("can't happen, move on" ;-) ), I have irreputable proof that it's a standard practice in the field.
Failed to Load Configuration Settings Correctly. This is most likely due to invalid XML. Please check inner exception and blah blah blah
What Kind of Blogger Are You?
You Are a Pundit Blogger! ...
More Legacy Code Quotes
This time it is from Jeremy Miller [The Shade Tree Developer]“The legacy code was so tightly coupled that if you put a chunk of coal between the classes you would get a diamond.” Another thing that caught my eye:Twice in the last year I’ve transitioned from greenfield development projects that were written with TDD to working with brownfield code that had not been written with TDD. In almost startling contrast, the test-first code was vastly easier to extend with new unit tests than the code written test-last. ...
The ILiar interface
I just got this error from the compiler:The type or namespace name 'ILiar' could not be found (are you missing a using directive or an assembly reference?) I was trying to type IList, and moved one key column to the left :-) I would worry about working on a project that had an ILiar interface. "Not tonight dear.... I have a modem." -- Tech Support Slogan "To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself." --...
Piloting Rules
I just couldn't stop laughing, go and read them: More Basic Rules for Pilots
NMock2: Funny Tests
Go are read this file, it's part of NMock2's tests, and it's the first time that code made me laugh. What can I say, I like Knock Knock jokes :-) "To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself." -- Albert Einstein "Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who don't." -- Army Sergant "Disc space, the final frontier!" -- Tech Support Slogan
Statistics
While creating the website I got interested in the logs for my blog, so I decided to take a look. It took me some time, and in the process I made some nice tools that would help me in the future. Some interesting facts, in the last four months I had ~38,000 page views. Here are some of the interesting search terms that sent people to me, in the tradition of Eric Lippert, I added capitalizations, but nothing more. There were a bunch more that I couldn't print here, inclduing some that were very...
Finally, someone makes a C-style language that I would Love to use
New Programming Language: C+- Check out the specs for C+-, (pronounced "C More or Less"). I really like the: #pragma dwim which makes the compile "Do What I Mean"
More Shameful UI
As long as I'm on a roll, here is another good UI Hall Of Shame.
It's better to learn from other's mistakes...
I just found about The User Interface Hall Of Shame blog, there was a very funny set pages several years ago at IArchitect (which seem to be gone). Reading the posts is partly learning experiance and partly the helpless humor of the stupidity involved.
So you think that you are ready to be an Architect?
See what happened when a software defeloper tried to design a house. I laughed so hard I had trouble staying seated. So familiar... [Via Slashdot]
Airborne LAN Parties...
This is a killer, User Friendly for Today!
Nice Tech-Ed summary
“I had the apparent pleasure of seeing a bunch of live powerpoint readings. It was like poetry, evidently.” [Via From The Soup To The Nuts]
Defination: Legacy Code
Just stumbled on this: 'Legacy Code': Code that works. [Via < Head >]
Microsoft Quality
Here is another good one.[Listening to: Dance With The Devil - Cozy Powell - best of driving rock (4 of 6)(03:35)]
Software professional life cycle
Check this out! :-D[Listening to: Rythm of The Night - Corona - (04:23)]
Confirmed: Microsoft is Cleaning Windows
Yes, it's true, and I've got proof! The small print: I was on the Ra'anana's bus station, and I couldn't resist taking the photo.
A new kind of programming?
I just discovered this: Rhythm Programming I wonder what this is all about, how do you play a loop using this? :-)
ethical Design Guidelines
“It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter.” -- Nathaniel S. Borenstein [Via The Agile Developer]
Geek Joke
If you are a geek, you will understand this joke, it took me a while, but when I did, I couldn't stop laughing.
Bug Report
Just found it here: (It's about planes problems) Problem: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. [Listening to: רינת גבאי - רגעים - - (04:10)]
Why Geeks and Nerds Are Worth It...
Read This, I'm still laughing! Now if only girlfriend had an email... :-)